fifty-five years of kissing
chores, fights, make-ups
two wars, countless pies
a near-divorce and three beautiful grand kids
what's it all mean, she says
her voice trembling, clinging to life
him next to her, paper-skinned, a deathbed
we're but temporary blips on a cosmic radar, she near cries
and every word burns like cigarettes in his eyes
we may be temporary, but it all adds up, my dear
his voice the strength and wisdom of ten thousand kings
would you never hold a flower,
knowing it would someday be dead?
and amidst an ocean of dreams and regrets
she smiles at his familiar warmth
the last, most alive kiss she ever got in this life.

life is on sale
but always paid with flesh
a ship that sinks
in an endless stream of pretty
unforgiving things
play with fire
every chance you get
whoever told you to grow up
were insanely jealous
stare at the sun
wear your lack of a brain as a disguise
forget umbrellas
**** always attacks from below
cross the line
never look back
time machines are called money
you had wings once
but lost them twice
reflections chase mirrors
because they're alone
cradle machine guns like
newborn babies
turn off the TV and
burn the books
even hell has Instagram these days
the only castles worth the candle
are the one you built as a kid
but that doesn't buy any press
or a spot on MTV cribs
followers are up
life is on sale
but always paid with flesh.

we obsess over top speed and delays
when distance should be measured in loneliness
instead of miles
we travel in light and time
a fate both cold and sweet
stuck in orbit
on a lonely blue marble
so we dream
some borrowed, some our own
sometimes regretting
something we should have done
but never did
we watch the news
but just for while
'cause it makes us feel
like
we're a play that was put on
and the director got bored
and threw away the key
another explosion tears flesh apart
and we're reaching for the remote
as high-definition cable
paints their far-away wounds
with bright salty colors
and we get to watch
as our lives happen in the ruins
of our most perfect, innocent selves
some walked away in anger
some never returned
some had a kid
but who's counting
unless it costs money
another candle in the none-the-wiser cake
we bought more beautiful things
maybe to hide the ugly inside
when did we get so afraid
to even look inside?
afraid of what we might see
afraid that there is still good
but that it comes at a price
happy birthday earth
didn't get you a present
it's not yet on sale

I remember being born
Of daylight and eternal devotion
This all-enveloping warmth
I remember
When you opened your childish eyes
For the very first time
And I found my home
The one I always wanted
A million adventures shared
Sometimes getting into trouble
Before you forgot
And then remembered
"Enough! I'm supposed to be an adult"
So I watch and I listen
From the shadows
A dog abandoned by its master
Cold and alone
"I'm here, can't you see",
I whisper from the darkness
As the silence crushes me
Forever yours
A frozen river of devotion
A time machine that waits
Behind an unbreakable veil
Sometimes bold
Sometimes afraid
This is my battle
A fight that is never really over
But worth every penny
Like that one time
A scrape found itself unwelcome
On your bruised, bleeding knee
And I went and found
Your mother's warm kisses
And that magic band aid
The one that started our next adventure
Remember?
A Geronimo!
We shouted it together
Before you jumped back
Into the fray
Wielding a smile so big
Vulnerable and powerful beyond belief
So I dance with the wind
And tell stupid jokes to entertain the sea
Just to pass the time
Hoping you'll return to me
I'm still the whisper
That guides your pen
And I still believe in
The magic of your beautiful ink.

She's a mythical creature in skin tight jeans
The one and only reason denim exists
Her beauty is all games and never
That serious
More than deadly
A total loss of cabin pressure
And I'm not even reaching for the oxygen
We all gotta die some time
Right?
I just want the way her perfect skin plays
Hide and seek with every beam of light
To be the last thing my nerve endings experience
Before my dying brain says
I'm outta here
Good job!
And never wakes again.

Rain that falls as dust
Rain that feels like ashes
Wasted on skin that might as well be dead
Not feeling it
Not the life of the party
My life a crime scene
That nobody bothered to report
Knuckles glossy red
Unplugged like spilled lemonade
Face-planted on papier-mâché curbs
And I didn't even get to keep the balloons
No more wicked games
This was my ship
To wreck
Just raise it from the bottomless pit
They say
Live like an adult
But I'd rather
Die like a child

If computers can simulate a universe
Are they not a universe in themselves
Why are heads round
Instead of being square
Is attempting not to care
Not a kind of caring
Is there such a thing as
One-way walls
I'm just wondering
How tiny can a poet be
And will I ever be tall
Who put the moon up there
And did they use a magnet
And finally
Not sure if you know this
Why do we ****?

Baby,
Where you at?
We vanquished the impossible
Come back

Baby,
Why you spoutin'
*******?
Trust me
It won't just be stickin' to
Those pimpin' six inch heels

Baby,
Where you at?
Five seconds flat
This right here
This
Chocolate
Strawberry
Champagne
Haze that you call
Your life
Will get you
Nothin' but strife

Baby,
This artist
Formerly known as
A white boy attempting to rap
Don't care where you at
Don't you be comin' back.

Built a crimson dragon out of cardboard boxes and dreams
Welded him with imagination, yarn, and spit at the seams
He always chuckles when I tell him silly stories
And taught me how to truly give and share
I'm the only one that knows
He breathes fire
And farts like thunder in his sleep
I keep his secrets and he keeps mine
Once flew him a million miles on friendship alone
But most of all
When darkness falls
And evil comes creeping and clawing from the black
I know in my heart of hearts
He will always have my back.

Missing out on childhood love is like
Being a kid in a carnival line
Being told the ride is now closed
Because the unicorns are on fire
And the rainbows have gone home.

trillions of molecules that
recognize trillions of mine as kindred
and every seven years
when we've shed our skin
every fiber
heart
muscles and bone
and given it back to the stars
every newborn cell somehow remembers
as if by miracle
the fountain of love we share
so when you stumble and loose sight of it all
when you feel your aching heart worn thin
when you're on the edge of being torn
know what is truly real deep down within
know that love is the fabric of the cosmos
know that when it is a cold and rainy day
then inside a single raindrop
as it falls unafraid
is the promise of brand new unbroken heart
and the gift of a brand new day.

her perfume tells stories of ambient destruction
and i always kiss her good night in bed
struggle to keep watch
keep my eyes open and in the clear
but every morning she's disappeared
a fading memory that claws to be set free
stuck somewhere between reality and fantasy
somehow trapped between unspent love and unleashed fear
familiar warmth on your pillow
were you just here?
a flash
and i remember the welcome in your eyes
in your summer dress smile
wow, that smile
i would build a rocket with my own two hands
plant your precious smile for all the world to see
right up there
on the silvery moon
wait,
where am i?
it's dark
oxygen alarm blares
hear my breath inside the visor
i startle awake
open my eyes
realizing
it's morning
no gravity
and it's me
not you
that's not really there.

music carries our hopes and dreams
this giant blue-green rocking machine

naked skies seen rocking their dreams
riding this intensely warm embracing machine

fields of green embracing dancers within their dreams
riding sugar rushes as they celebrate the cosmic music machine

we are
the hope
the dreams
that spring eternal
smiling
sometimes heartbroken
dancing
loving
healing
cosmic music machine

she lived the perfectly edited life
far removed from winks of fire, or the heartbreaks of ice
believed her worst fears when they told her horrible lies
eyes never daring to drink in the real blue skies
treasured pixels always poke her back
but they'll never give her the hug she really needs
cue a million pictures
neatly ordered and
expertly filtered
curated and staged
perfectly acted
never fully present
always facing just the right angle
bulletproof lips worn as pink armor
clinging to a fairytale told by corporations
that they may grow their monopolies and shares
that she may avoid the awkward moment
when she realizes that
one day
she's truly gonna die
no tweaks
no edits
no retries
just this mysterious message in her inbox
the one you just read
asking two simple questions:
are you awake?
are you ready to try?

Within this lonely now
Under blankets of night
Sunlit absence departs on beams of light

In the middle of this nowhere
The soul slips away in every direction
Riding a quietly tragic wave; a cosmic infection

Once a roar
Now a sigh
This love once burned like stars that never die

And now that ten thousand years can't save this life
We find ourselves together alone
Destiny shipwrecked us before we were even born

You were a secret hiding in the open
Must have turned a blind eye
Found a supernova posing as a clear blue sky

i'm a leaf blowing in the wind
barely attached to its tree

gravity whispers a return to adventure
doesn't care
i'm still too scared to be free

suddenly
free-falling
tumbling
cosmic causality no longer resists
sets me free

a feather without a bird to feed it
cast aside
new-found freedom is unmistakably mine
but why then
does the earth below grow closer?

i struggle to spread wings
but my shape remains
both tragic and beautiful

free-falling
tumbling
the wind struggles
but can never hope
to carry the likes of me

my eyes no longer capture
the wetness of the sea
birds above more free

stick the landing
surprisingly gentle
i'm on my knees

night too is falling
feel my untold dreams dying
not sure i'm okay
that i'll pull through

a world so alien
new sounds
new scents
a nibble, then a bite
something is tearing me apart

creepy crawlers
fight over me
not sure if they love
or hate me
can't move
can't find a friend

dig deep
find a way to hang on
a way to bend
skin fading
cheeks longer blush with green
no longer like baby spring

the oldest ant notices
his eyes meet mine
tell me in no words
"you only get what you give"

i repeat the words
not sure if they were mine or his
you only get what you give
and like a missing piece that clicks into place
i finally let go
and as if by magic
it's a new dawn
it's a new day

sun's out
a familiar warmth
and i'm a brand new dying leaf
this unknown journey is required
before i return as a fresh blossom
reunited with the love that springs eternal from my tree.

frailty falls upon terror
snowflakes banished from the sky
casualties from a hard forgotten war
still burns my retinas
their softness whispers as they melt
and find death upon my hardened skin
to soon unwritten,
but their love remains of no consequence
i fill my lungs with the fire that gave them life
failing to recall
the hope their tragedy no longer breathes
and lower my utterly spent weapon
weeping on torn, bleeding knees
realizing
there's
nobody left to listen
as i scream.

unattended nose
bleeds
babies all dried up
too late to wail
futility already set sail
time jumps
but your reckless sky still slumps
******* creeds
& skullduggery triumphs
leaves you
mind-numbing defeats
no room for the young
or the weak
unless you're the story
of the week
you scream your lungs out
clawing your essence to pieces
your once beautiful soul
tempered by momentary fame
your blind eyes found dead
lost inside a heartless mirror
never once found silence
and only in this final moment
something that resembles
peace
please tell me
this is not the way you wanted to go
please
before it's too late
and i will give you my heartbeat
rip it spraying from my dying chest
just to let you follow the bleed
and listen for the beat
follow it
towards the hope you lost
towards the home you loved
towards the home that bleeds.

I'm a rose born from a ravenous roar
A butterfly bolted to the back of a bull
I paint the truth in cosmic kaleidoscopic dye
Granting eternal life to an ancient beckoning sky
They call me the Hubble
"we will never forget" they cry
Before terrestrial fire bids me goodbye
And one final glimpse of your magnificent azure sky.

i don't have a way with words
less poet
more the howling fool that chases them apart
my sweaty struggles always leave me blinded and alone
owed nothing
clinging to
empty

empty
spaces
i call these spaces stories
and like the siren that grants
a shipwreck and death against razor sharp rocks
i lure them in
found their deepest darkest secret

every word wants nothing more
than to die like a story
see,
i have a way with stories
and i'd like to imagine
that stories take up a place as the echo
of love when it grows from that first enticing smile
or the infant cry when it purges childhood pain
deep down in the hidden treasuries of
your most heartfelt of hearts
me tracing this with pitch black ink on paper
you committing this to your beating crimson heart
we're connected with an ancient thread that
even the gods dare not tear apart

see they too
in all their might and glory
want nothing more
than the epic bliss
of a truly good
and heartfelt
story.

summer day breeze
whispers ancient secrets of childhood upon your silky skin
caresses your backless yellow dress with billowing life
summer day sneeze
spins you round in white sneakers
wielding even whiter smile
summer day licks
so luscious and pink
summer day thrills
just for kicks
bare feet,
reckless running
defy gravity
like when we were kids and built
that time-machine from cardboard boxes
remember
when we fed baby butterflies with our first adventurous kiss
soul shattering tides
my fortress of solitude can no longer resist
it's still just made of tiny fluffy pillows
but now they're all grown up
i still remember
when you said
"i love you"
but we were just kids back then
and i didn't say it back
so i became an underwater knight after your love faded
and i wandered the deep dark sea all alone,
could no longer breathe the air above water
i stayed in darkness
slayed all the monsters
most of them my own
but never really found me a home
you sank earning your very own scars
and every single one is a tale of fire and caution:
"she's slippery when wet"
but that's okay, my love
i'm an underwater knight
in search of Atlantis
and the familiar in your smile disarms me like
childish imagination breathes wonder
and selfless love to life
this time i say it back
and we've both
finally found
our home.

And thus the ashes
Of your final
Broken heart sigh
Became a verse
Of such beauty
Within a verse
Of such splendor
Within a multiverse
Of such magnificent birth
Within the quiet darkness and glistening bright void
Of youthful spark as it ignites fate's breath anew
Within the promise that starts your breathtaking life all new.

you will yourself into existence
but with every blink of the audience
you disappear
and fade into unseen hurt and despair
your mascara is waterproof
but the tears are real
don't have to pretend
privacy is a recent illusion
now that your name sparkles like champagne
they call you a match made in heaven
but your heaven is a hell made of matches
and moments you stumble are never yours alone
never yours to keep
fickle and written in pixels
your reality is but a fairytale
always ends in loneliness and paralyzing pain
never pretty
and at the flick of a switch
your undying love is unborn
your greatest achievements once again torn
blind money only leads the famous to be poor
and at the end of fruits of labor
stands a firing-squad with imperfect aim
another limb is torn from your once perfect flesh
they could never lend ears to your scarecrow screams
and within moments written as you blink and flash your lashes
you secretly long for the mercy of a ****-shot
maybe through the brainpan
or maybe through the heart
but all that rings out in your diamond decorated ears
are the silent memories of fake explosions
and the echoes of senseless regret
and in the quiet of night
your nightmares paint you atop a throne of broken dreams
beneath a fickle crown forged from your own porcelain skin
see they scraped it off your back when they clipped your wings
and now that their spite fills your veins like poison
it's a fight to the death
poison against poison
the fountain of youth knows no kindness
so you lash out and turn to the promise of a needle
a momentary stab at eternity
and from your fake flat-lining face
springs a fairytale to remember for the ages:
pass over my grave and know this
not eight feet below lies in wait
a smile so eternal
or a frown
depending which way you're facing
but it's mine now
forever
and never again yours
to take.

I squash ant that sinks teeth,
Biting my enormous otherworldly knee
Amidst fray of fleshy fingerprint
Most heroic exoskeleton betrays
A life ended,
Should i wail upon battlefield?
Come aliens forth on scale of mighty gods
What fire
What twist of fate they might bring
Upon silly little
Pink and squishy me
I shall name him,
Heroic Anton.

i love
i scheme
i was just a bad dream
i'm out of tune
out of whack
i stab myself in the eye with
an imaginary spork
can't find
the real thing
so i do a victory march,
not really pretending
wear my heart on my sleeve,
a faded t-shirt that says
"you shouldn't do that"
afraid to get stabbed in the chest,
i bleed myself dry inside ancient armor
stumble as i wear all five tons of it to bed
can't see
all the deepest scratches are from the claws on the inside
dragons may roam within,
but i'm no knight
rinse
repeat
same story
younger lips
ablaze
until i'm south when i should be facing west
off-axis
off-kilter
can't
make you
wanna stay
so now it's 2 am
and i watch as you ****
the promise of our unborn child with a single stabbing sigh
all because
i'm out of tune
out of whack
i loved
i scheme
i was just your bad dream.

such funny delight
caught my
sixty year old dad
playing
everybody
backstreet's back
alright!

i am edgeless
round and free to twirl
baby spring when it freezes in the heart of winter
a speck of dust abandoned by its mother
i have taken every kind of beating there is
been broken to the core beyond measure
promised nothing but eternal darkness and endless void
but i face it all gladly
biting lip and wielding ancient courage
honoring a pinky promise written in fire
whispered in stone
i will crawl on broken knees,
tear apart failing flesh
until my dying breath
until the end of time
for my children
for their unwritten potential
see i,
always wanted to be a spaceship
ever since i was child
see one day,
they will truly find their way
one day,
riding fire and wings of enlightened love
they will leave their humble beginnings behind
and if i'm lucky,
return with tales of countless wonders
wonders they have seen on my distant siblings
wonders that will light up their souls
go now my children,
i release you from your darkness.

i am the prime of numbers
always destined to be divided by one
the quantum of entanglement
the fusion of bright day
my brothers whisper tales of starlit jewel skies
my close embrace would melt your silky skin like
summer melts strawberry ice cream from the hands of a child
i replay 4.6 billion years in my mind
wondering,
how you came into being
as if by miracle
by chance of chances
i kiss your lips with my loving rays
always and forever
counting the softness of the atoms in your skin
cutting pieces of myself on the wires that control this universe
i face my doom gladly
hoping,
you'll notice i would bleed my hands dry
just to give this momentary blip you call life
another
haunting kiss,
joyous smile,
and most dangerous wink
before the hands of time
turns the miracle of your flesh to ashes
i could never tell you
i would burn everyone else
to ashes a thousand times over
just to be alone with you
just to feel your mystery right here
next to mine.

Don't think of
Pink elephants.
Don't.
Think.
Of
Pink
Elephants.

i say all the right things
always thinking ahead
never fully present, just
hoping you won't recognize the mask
hoping you'll fall in love with
silly old me
i wear my skinny jeans as a mask,
ironically to conceal the fact
that i'm both skinny and pale
i drone on about helping people,
when all i really wanna do
is help myself
only i can't
does that make me a bad person?
mostly, i'm pale because i live
in a pitch black cave, forever
haunted by bullies and ancient wounds
it's the wounds that get you early,
that are the hardest to heal
still,
i sometimes venture out of the cave
recklessly careful,
tequila is my kryptonite
upgrades my powers to carefully reckless
only i'm no superman
i'm the clown that paints his wounds with bright colors
that's a lie
i'm more like cinderella with a beard
always on the clock,
waiting for the glass slipper to crack
my **** is pretty cute though
no kidding
it's out there somewhere
looking for that beautifully complicated wound
hoping,
wondering,
is it compatible with mine?

Girls just want to have fun
And I'm the hopeless romantic
I wanna dance with somebody who loves me
Sure, she's a
Maneater
And she's still
Holding out for a hero
I don't care
Sweet dreams are made of this
I won't hold back now
I'm so excited
I release the epic
Eye of the tiger
I'll make you scream and
Jump for my love
This truly is
The final countdown
I'll make sure you
Give it up
Just promise me that you'll
Wake me up before you go-go.
Because baby,
Our 80's playlists will have such beautiful children.

Your soft words sink me in ten directions
my soul comes pouring out of a broken hull
this is not a fairytale
unicorns and rainbows
happy endings
no
yours is a verse for forgiveness
piercing
unwelcome
cold as nuclear winter
bright as nuclear day
a quiet explosion in technicolor tragedy
my ears shatter
nerve endings free-fall
vividly ablaze
cherished moments fuse as one,
ten trillion endings per second
i flinch under the gravity of the situation,
a black hole lodges in my chest
never to leave again
sparkle and fade
no light escapes
sparkle and fade
this twisted love
this stardust field
abandoned
unwanted
betrayed.

I'm the morning whisper that punches you in the gut
the winning lottery ticket that you didn't buy
an inconvenience with impeccable timing
the drinks you spill on nameless lovers
i'm the giggle when a dog sniffs your hand
i'm a naked water fight in January for no reason
i'm cold pillows shaped like a former lover
your favorite t-shirt when it's lost
and found
the drip drip in the sink when you wanna sleep
the creepy crawlers you can't shake
the colorful wrapper with nothing inside
a no vacancy sign at the end of the road
your vulnerability when you're most tender
i'll call you names when you're not looking
look at you funny when you're not listening
i'm the sense that doesn't make,
the only sense there is
i'm your senses when you want to shut me out
the wrong L-word at just the right time
i'm your second chance when you need a third
the maybe, when you really wanted a yes
i'm what feels your pain
the broken promise that brings you more-
pain
what turns the tide when you're not looking
i'm a moonlit midnight swim
i'm sometimes ****-naked
your favorite shade of lipstick
i am your guardian angel
the absence you hold
i'm the scenic route after a bump in the road
the sunset drive that saves your soul
i'm the texture of wet sand between your toes
the burn in every tear you've cried
i'm the vintage dresser you found on a rainy day
the song you hate, stuck on repeat
i count the palm trees when you're not looking
i forget lovers lost and found
i am the one who messes up your hair,
just to dry your tears
i am the vault of all your deepest darkest secrets
always inconvenient and never around
i'm laughter when you least expect it
the 4 am call you don't wanna take
i'm the mirror that sells you lies
the denim shorts that makes your **** look really cute
i'm the cherry (on your wedding dress)
a joyride and a swing-set all in one
i'm what turns you on
what turns you away
i'm your throne
your downfall
your ecstatic,
uplifting
wonderful
life.