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Nathan May 2019
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Can someone teach me
What's a haiku help me please
I don't understand
Nathan Dec 2016
In 2006 I ventured into an old abandoned libary, being an urban explorer I wanted to see first hand the haunting tales of what occured inside one's of occultism, satanic rituals and the paranormal.

I don't remember much of the trip but I can recall I heard a scream that sounded very familiar.

The year is 2016 and I have decided to return. This place so beautiful on my first visit now appears like the tales I was told those years ago. I open the main door now screeching due to the rust that covered the metal.

I make my way through a darkened hall, dimmly lit bulbs blinking providing the limited light. Bleak and the sudden pungent smell of decay, the brick walls once filled with warmth are now wet and cold.

Something is here.

The overbearing smell of rot and death lingers in the already thin air. Gulping....I stop....then proceed forwards. I feel the warmth of a stagnant breath on my back and turn a quick 90 degrees.

Nothing

Turning back to the direction I was originally heading, goosebumps adorn my being. Shaking and saying to myself. GET THE **** OUT GET THE **** OUT GET. THE. ****. OUT... I ignore my better judgement, I'm here to stay.

So I press on determined. I hear the buzzing of flies and I know I'm at the epicentre of the stench.

Bookshelves thrown askew, pentagrams and other ****** graffiti adorn the walls. I look around the room and then I see it...

A foot, I glide over to the foot and proceed from the blooded body stabbed in several places multiple times from the torso all the way to the face.

I stop...frozen in shock

I gasp...

It's not just any face

**It is mine.
Nathan Dec 2016
A crushed heart
Continues to beat
To the dance....


Of it's lonely waltz
Nathan Jul 2019
With the last match in my box
I'll set myself alight
So you may feel the warmth

One solemn tear doesn't even last
As it's vaporised by the heat
Of this lonely broken heart
A.M
Nathan Sep 2018
A.M
Her ink adorns the page
Artistic ink adorns her skin
Visceral words, beautiful soul
No words to describe her eloquence
That haven't been used before.

Due to her I'm inspired again
From the beauty of the poetess
Words, mind, soul, look.
A.M
She's got it all.
Nathan Dec 2017
If heaven is real, that's where you are
I hope you're enjoying the hospitality
An angel now with beautiful wings
Please watch over us
We need you...I need you
Enjoy the peace
I love you
I miss you
R.I.P darling
I was just informed of a friends passing after hours of tears this is all I could muster I hope I did you proud darling
Nathan Jul 2017
Just tell me
What is it you want
Do you want me to leave
Do you want me to stay
Because I know you don't want to be alone
It eats you alive
It makes you sick
If pain is what you want
Then I'll go

*I thought looking into a mirror would help reveal what I truly want, but it's just echoing my compounding misery.
Nathan Jan 2018
Pause.

Observe the situation.

Breathe slowly.

Get ready

Psych yourself up...and prepare to face the outside world.
Nathan Dec 2016
Point me too the person who can't break my heart.

Simple, but tragically

I'm afraid you can't
Nathan Sep 2018
I'm not okay
Overcrowded in my mind
But I finally can say
I know I'm not okay

I debated being a martyr
Believed I wasn't strong
But I'm surviving
I've been fighting
Without realising
I know I'm not okay

Yet...
There's comfort in the anarchy
Nathan Jul 2019
Crying
For no reason again
Questioning
Why am I even here
Darkness
It's 4:40am right now
Thoughts
End it all
End it all
End
It
Nathan Mar 2017
From a writers pen
Honest blood bleeds
Filled with desires and stories
Heartache... needs
Nathan Dec 2017
Trying to show empathy
After stabbing someone in the back
Is like telling a man with no legs to walk up and down the road
Inexcusable and impossible for the other person too forget
Nathan Apr 2018
The

(Today)

Words

(Is)

Between

(My)

The

(First)

S­paces

(Good)

Mean

(Day)

The

(In)

Most

(The)

But

(Longest)

Say

(Time)

The

(Hallelujah)

Least
Nathan Jun 2017
Wilted
Heartbroken
Yearning to be loved

All I see is couples
Must be nice...

It's killing me

Understand I'm not jealous
Not even close
Love is just something I desire
Only I can't seem to obtain it
Viable alternatives aren't existent
All I'm asking for is love
But I'm growing impatient
Love will come to you I've been told
Except that's not true.... is it.
Nathan Dec 2017
Birdsong in the air
Not as pleasant as rainfall
Which reduces stress
I seem to always get headaches from hearing too much birdsong, whereas rain completely calms me down.
Nathan Oct 2016
When I die...
I'm not expecting a heaven.
I'm not expecting a hell.
I'm not expecting anything, just peace.
Maybe if I took my life I would find out.
There's nothing I crave more than peace.
I'm the soul blame of every problem.
Or that's the way it's seen.
Can that be the answer?
Bittersweet release
Nathan Dec 2016
Brutality in symphony
As the blade slices skin
Like a violinists bow
Across the strings
Nathan Oct 2020
Autumnal leaves crunch underfoot
Amidst a thick fog blanket
Lay black tar streets
Adorned by cigarette butts
Discarded masks
As well as alcoholic cans
This once bustling city
That shone with life
Is now a ghost town
Remenants of itself  
Left behind in a museum
Of it's downfall
First poem I wrote in over a year. Its been a hard one and I've never been stimulated to do so till I saw this sight.
Nathan Nov 2017
My mind is blank
My heart is cracked
And like this paper
I am empty
Nathan Oct 2016
We live in a world of egocentric maniacs
Whose only desire is to shout the loudest
Point the large foam finger at themselves
LOOK AT ME, LOOK WHAT I HAVE

I see it between friends, sharing exploits
How ***** their girlfriends are...
How much money they have...
What car they drive...

*I wonder what it's like having those things
Nathan Oct 2018
I want to know what it feels like
To be loved unconditionally
For all I seem to feel
Is the sour taste of the unrequited
Can you love me?
Nathan Sep 2018
Unrelenting
emotioN
Ruining
existencE
Questioning
yoU
I'm
lefT
Em­pty
depresseD
Nathan Jul 2018
I carved a line into my skin tonight
Crimson descends down my leg
This isn't masochism
Because I don't feel pain
I feel relief
I breathe again
Nathan Dec 2017
How quick to assume
That the bullet I shot was aimed for you Well my dear
Don't step in front of a firefight
You may just get caught in the crossfire
Nathan Jul 2017
Intrusive abusive thoughts shower me under my own personal rain cloud.

Tormenting me, Unrelenting and sadistic they seek my misery.
If given a sound they would be as intense as an orchestra is reaching it's crescendo.

I'm powerless to react, the rain cloud is now a storm cloud, thunder claps and lightning replaced with the brutality of self inflicted slashes. Now what lingers is overcast.

My shell of the man I once was sits cowering in the corner.

Waiting for the cycle to begin again
Nathan Oct 2016
He shoots his bow of love
Through the air the arrow arcs
It misses me completely
So my heart begins to break
As everyone around me falls in love
I see people hugging and kissing
Oh how I envy them
I look around at pairs of two

*Me....I stand alone
Nathan Oct 2016
Politics is a group of "respected" adults
Arguing...
Whining...
Insulting each other

Like children in a park

And yet......

We let them run our countries
This isn't to do with the US Election as I was born in the UK and believe the political system is messed up everywhere.
Nathan May 2017
Once again.
That dark cloud is back.
Larger than ever.


Just as I could see the sun.
Nathan Oct 2016
A Glistened blade with the serrated edge. Lays down on the floor christened with crimson. The limp but clinging to life hand dangles over the edge of the single bed.

Sobbing is heard from the bed, laying face down is our victim of self disgust and loathing.


Our victim

**ME.
I wish I could lie to you guys and say this was fantasy some messed up image of my imagination but this is real my friends. I hope you don't have to suffer with what I do. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
Nathan Jul 2017
Unrelenting Pain
A blood red waterfall
From my broken heart
Nathan Oct 2016
How can I be sure I'm asleep
When my nightmares...
Are manifestations of my reality
Nathan Mar 2017
They say feelings stop with time.
But with something so intense....

do they really?

You never forget love....
It's addicting, we all crave it...
You never forget

Because one day you won't have it
One day you will crave it...
For me that "day" is 5 years old.
Nathan Oct 2020
What breaks first the heart or the mind. Or is it the combination of the both that lead you blind.

'cause when you love and lose it cuts deep. All that's left is memories of pain etched for you to keep.
Nathan Sep 2018
Another hit
Chasing that high
When does it become too much
In the case of some
Not until
They
Are
Six
Feet






Under
Nathan Mar 2017
My eloquence left me long ago
My patience left me too
My irreverence took over me
My hatred then shone through

I'm dying on the inside
It's becoming a disgrace
It's taking all my will power
Not to punch you in the face
Nathan Jan 2019
The cruel irony of second place
Not finishing first
Having to look up at them
The cruel irony of finishing fourth
You don't even make the podium
Just bask in the cesspool of failure
With everyone else
Nathan Aug 2018
Fragility of the glass heart that shatters into pieces, to be mended one day, by the owner itself. Then trusted with in the hands of another.
Nathan Oct 2021
Oh how he towers over her
Rushing desire and adrenaline
As he makes her kneel at his feet
Lust tastes sweeter from this angle
Nathan May 2018
In bloom again, there vibrant colors parade in the sunshine. Pendulous teardrops sway in the wind, colour vibrant. Peacefully amongst the bluebells these plants lie. They catch my eye from a mile away. Oh how beautiful.
Nathan Jun 2017
Heartache hurts
You taught me that
When you tore my heart in half
Now your heart is breaking


What a shame
Nathan Aug 2018
I have no belief in Heaven
But I'm living in Hell
Yet another terror attack in England today. When will it stop.
Nathan Jul 2018
They see your words as profound
I see right through them.
They see your mind as wonderful
I see it for it's truth
Manipulative
Spiteful

Your abhorrent observation
On how death is just some joke to you
I know I won't be making it to heaven
But you have a special place in hell
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