I wonder if I'll ever know the answer
Will I ever find the unspoken words between the lines
Racing through the never ending days
Driving past all these glaring stop signs

Will I ever truly feel free?
Will my heart race and soul yearn?
Will it ever beat steady and strong?
Will it grow hotter and burn?

I wonder how long I have left?
Is my forever the here and now?
Is stability and contentment the goal?
Is this the final scene when I take a bow?

When did being healthy and happy grow so loud
Like a broken alarm clock refusing to switch off
Blaring and screaming unwaveringly proud.
Younger me would roll my eyes and scoff

Its as if I'm waiting for that other shoe
That supposed one thats meant to drop
The first is on the floor awaiting
The other held high at the top

Holding my breath and waiting.
Times passing, and I can't help but anticipate
The inevitable feeling of dread,
But maybe its all in my head.

My heart beats to a rhythm only made for you,
A strung together ensemble, only made for your view
To a song so beautifully crafted, so delicate and sweet
The notes reverberating to an angelic feat

To your melody, your tune
Shining brightly as the moon
Sung from the first moments of light
till the lates hours of the night

My heart dances along to the song called you

Grace me with your presence
Hold me tightly in your hand
The sweetly tempered rhythm surrounds us
Flooding us with these feelings so grand

Let the music of our hearts guide us
Leading us through this dance of me and you
Without a moment of hesitation
This time we will see this through

Our heart synchronise in beat

~

I run.

I always seem to run away.

I felt the urge rise up again,

I ******* my sneakers,

Started to stretch,

As I walked to the starting line, I realised.

This time, I want to be caught.

Holding a long forgotten bottle
Spritzing it into the air
As the particles sparkle like pixie dust
Glistening gently as you stare

Breathing in the luscious scent
That reminds you of the past
A nostalgic fever rushes over
From the days you wore it last

Flooding your mind like a river
Overwhelming you with youth filled visions
From the you who wore this delicate scent
The you who couldn’t make decisions

As the scent fades away
You return the bottle you found
There it will continue collecting dust
Placed gently without a sound

The world grows lonely as the years go by
Where all the people around you begin to die
But not in the sense where they leave this earth
They just seem to move on to places like Perth

Some seem to smile brighter surrounded by glowing lights
Dancing in clubs, from night to night
From drink to drink to pill to pill
Doing lines off the bench, as pupils widen and fill

Lighting cigarettes in cars, Enjoying the green
Filling cars full of smoke, like young kids of eighteen
Eyes reddening and glazing, Fading out of this zone
As the concept of time becomes blackened and unknown

Some are passionate and driven, working harder each day
Building businesses and plans, so they can achieve something great they say
Counting up budgets, preparing their lives.
They are people who will succeed, not just survive

Others are married, having kids, and Starting their happiness off young
Though many think they are making mistakes, but they hold their tongues
Time move on, and people are getting engaged
Whatever feels right to them I think, regardless of their age

As people choose their lifestyles, and none of them suit you well
It's hard to find a crowd that won’t make you feel like hell
The world feels lonely as time passes, You feel like you're all alone
When people don’t message back, or check on you over the phone

People you called friends move on, as do you
But I can’t seem to find a rhythm, I can’t seem not to feel blue
I feel empty on the inside, and envy those who know what to do
Jealous of their smiles, as they always have something new

Feeling lost and outdated, In this forever changing life
Maybe if I begin to work harder, take up partying, or become a wife
Will this feeling go away, Will I stop feeling such strife
As the loneliness eats away at my energy, cutting deeper than a knife

The world will keep on changing
I know at least that is right.

I talk too much or not at all
As I'm afraid to sound self-centered
Talking about my insecurities and woe
Just end up making me feel so low

I open my mouth and words pour out
Trying hard not to sound like a victim
But the more I explain, the more in vain
As the worry and fear grows heavier

Communication is key

I understand this to be true
But to capture the full extent
Of my mind at bay is difficult
As words barely make a dent

As I hold my tongue
And the voices they plague me
It's selfish to talk about my own
I fear you take my words as pleas

Framing myself as incapable
Needy and attention-seeking
I can't speak on behalf of my own
As these feelings keep creeping

All these words getting caught in my throat
Leaving me with poor explanations
And them with no ability to understand


~

I'm a fool who's rage is written on a page
Flickering with fire, fueled by a painful desire
Unruly and unjust it burns without control
Till its content with its remains of dark ash and coal
Seeking no shelter, though it must be contained
She screams as she cries trapped in a cage
Walls adoring her, only growing stronger with age
Dreading the knocking that echos so loud
Fumbling with the keys, throwing them to the ground
Huddling into one's self, as the world grows c o l d
Yearning for somebody who can allow her to be whole
As she kicks and she screams, pushing them away
It's difficult to get past this tremendous facade
That holds so well, ingrained into her being
Disregarding the world and others well-being
How heartless and cold
How selfish and bold
Pitiful you are
with that narcissist mask, you hold
Dance me another dance
Within that ballroom of yours
Filled with the most beautiful flowers
And those demons that taunt at all hours
Its cold deep within, even with fires set aflame
As she continues burning within her own stone-cold cage.

Here we are again,
Square one.


~

Cry me a river
Of insure little tears
Sparkling like diamonds
Filled with your greatest fears
Let it glisten, Let it flow
Down your cheeks
To the land below
Salty to the tongue
Taste it upon your skin
Be still my little darling
He's watching with a grin
Thriving off your sadness
He pushes the knife further in
Prying on your weakness
To unveil deeper sins
Sins that have been locked away
Beneath the facade of a smile
Nothing bothers the angel dear
Even those who are vile
Emotions make you weak
Nobody wishes to see the evil
Disgusting feelings of envy
That you so dearly keep
Rage and jealousy
Hide them away
Calm and gentle
Let them stay
For nobody will love
A girl who displays
Her heart boldly upon her cheek
They will fire their arrows at the rate
Of the time it takes for your heart to break
Run and hide with all your might
Do all you can but fight
Foxes they play
Snakes they bite
In the den you are trapped
You know that I'm right
And while in the home of the serpents
You will come to know
That the faces you loved
Are the first to go
And its then you will see
That surrounded by people
Is the moment you realize
You are truly alone

For nobody is willing to enter the den of those that break
As all the friends you loved turned out to be that of those very same snakes

-