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Apr 2019 · 301
Life Boat
Nyx Apr 2019
I float in a boat
In a raging black ocean
Low in the water
With no where to go
The tiniest lifeboat
With people I know

Cold, clammy, and crowded
The people smell desperate
We'll sink any minute
So someone must go
The tiniest lifeboat
With the people I know

Everyone's pushing
Everyone's fighting
Storms are approaching
There's nowhere to hide
If I say the wrong thing
Or I wear the wrong outfit
They'll throw me right over the side
Nyx Apr 2019
You've hurt me greatly
Though your desperate needs,
You yearned for affection
Detesting the weight of your words
leading my heart on the run
False propositions of a title
Lies slandering our names
Associated with whats fake
Clearly it was all give and no take
I was always just a maybe
Always unsure

To you I was never a certain
Dare not define the word love
More the need to fill the void
With a heart that seemed to care
Take it carefully within your hands
Though without warning you begin to tear
Piece. by. piece.
The parts begin to fall
Blood dripping from within your palms
Before discarding it on the floor
Staining you with a rich crimson red
As you vanish off into the night
I dare not gaze upon your face again
Knowing the truth I would rather not fight
Settling the pain within me
Thats conjured up a storm
Swallow my pride and my despair
I'll let it go and move on
Though never again will I feel
The same gentle patient care
For dear sir, you have hurt me greatly
And on the second time round
I refuse to fight fair.

Not a single tear will fall for you again
I shall not waste myself on you



-
Mar 2019 · 1.2k
Troublemaker
Nyx Mar 2019
We use to wreak havoc together
At a small little school
With characters and phrases
Making the teacher look like a tool

Our Chinese school was hell
But ever Saturday we still went
Our partnership was one of destruction
Causing even the principal to vent

We sat at the back of the class
While all the proper students sat at the front
Determination in their eyes
Asian tiger parents forcing them to survive

While ours were much the same
Except a little more lenient
We passed everything so good enough
Our ways more devious

A team effort it was
We all passed with flying colours
Not without full blow hatred from others
Though we weren't bothered

And years have past us by
No longer do we speak
At most we have a snap record
But we only ever sent streaks

Though your basic asian look
closely matching with mine
except for you being a guy
and having black pitched eyes

We were close once before
We were a childish endeavour
Now reduced to nothing
Without a single word ever

And write as I will
About that old forgotten letter
and the missing you with my heart
but I can't get any better

As my will to talk to you is broke
I'm scared of the words I once spoke
With the shattered picture frame on the floor
I dare not defy those laws

Until you flash by my life again
For a moment, for a single memory or sight
I'll remember you in my heart
As meaningless as that is
For you will never know

I'll miss you forever
My little Troublemaker
Be happy and stay safe
- T
Mar 2019 · 1.1k
The Morrow
Nyx Mar 2019
My heart pounds eagerly
Awaiting the outcomes of the morrow
What is awaiting me
Love, hatred or sorrow?

Fear and anticipation
All wrapped into one
Securely tied with a ribbon
Now we wait for the sun

Marching on to the time
Allowing fate to lead the way
My heartbeat is all I can hear
Let's see what's awaiting me today.
Mar 2019 · 200
Chicken Soup
Nyx Mar 2019
Like a brightly colored bird
She's flaunting her feathers
In futile attempts
trying to make herself feel better
Luring them in
So gentle and soft
While the fallen look on
And I can't help but scoff
Another victim to the bird
Who pecks away at their lives
Yet they can't see through
All her truths and the lies
No sanity in the cycle
Just more victims and tears
I've grown numb to these actions
Which have repeated through the years
At one moment their everything
They seem to get lost
But by the end they sit silently
Weighing up the cost
And cry to me they will
And comfort them I say
Its not the first time this has happened, don't worry you'll be okay
And she sings and she sings
Lulling all around
Fake or reality?
All I hear is noise filled sound
As I've grown tired of the songs
That this bird seems to squark
Oh pardon me, I mean sings
You see an elegant beauty dancing
I see a headless chicken prancing
And with all the damaged its caused
I think its about time we had some chicken soup.
Mar 2019 · 139
Only her
Nyx Mar 2019
Consumed by jealously
Beckoned by grief
Where can I possible
Find my relief?

Where the thing that fuels me
Is none other than my friend
With my lover no less
Could this be my end?

To tornment and lies
All I do is continue to cry
To fight this tragedy
I call my real life

And help me if you must
As the ground is unstable
Lend me your hand
Only if your able

I'm falling to the ground
As the world tumbles around
Tossing me like some ***** laundry
Though to this boy I am bound

By the feelings in my heart
Running back in a flee
Why won't you love me!
I continue my pleas

And the answer I got
Was as simple as that
You are not her.
Feb 2019 · 236
Playtoy
Nyx Feb 2019
You take another from me
Without a second thought
Adding him to your collection
As if he were something you bought

Smiling and playing around
He's like a puppet on a string
Unbeknownst of the terrors
Of that sadistic hidden grin

Put him in the shelf
Amongst all the others
Pick a new toy
Pretend you are lovers

Keep taking and taking
As they struggle to trail along
Getting torn and broken
As they aren't that strong

Give them false hope
They rebuild themselves a little
Then crush them to the ground
As your quite noncommittal

Taking more friends
Turning them into toys
It hurts to watch
As they are only young boys

But no matter what I say
No matter what I do
You somehow find a way
To draw them to you

And they wouldn't ever believe me
They could never know
Because you're such a perfect girl
So let's continue the ****** up game show

Ah... There goes another one

It's seems you have a new toy



~
Feb 2019 · 449
Like them
Nyx Feb 2019
I always wished to be like them
To hear those sweet words enveloped with love
Feeling safe within that embrace
To stand tall by your side

But all I could do was keep running
Chasing after a dream so unreal
Longing simply to be like them
To have what they both had

Like the petals of the spring
A voice I've missed so dearly
Finally I hear his calls
Carefully they grace my ears

Though I know you're not mine to love
So I'll settle with hearing the sound of your voice
And that ever lasting happiness
That she seems to bring you
All I ever wanted was to be the treated the same way that he treated you.
Jan 2019 · 153
On a trampoline
Nyx Jan 2019
Strumming string beneath the starlight
Of a newly crescent moon
Singing songs written for loved ones
Who seem to leave to soon
Better friends they sit around us
Painting portraits of me and you
To my loved one forgive
As I must bid you adieu
I wrote I longer version of this but I thought it was better just to leave it at this instead
Jan 2019 · 202
Untitled
Nyx Jan 2019
I don't want to live in a world
where I am unable to feel loved
Jan 2019 · 226
What has happened?
Nyx Jan 2019
My heart has become hateful
As jealousy burns
&
Self hated prevails
Blame all others for their deeds
After being lulled into false security

What has happened?
They ask, Is everything okay?
My Egotistical soul reply
Its your fault
While my facade says
I'm fine.


-
Nyx Dec 2018
When I awake in the morning
You're the first thought on my mind
Going through each day
Wishing you would be mine

Planning dates within my head
And places I would like to bring you
Little things to show my love
Whenever you feel blue

And a smile graces my face
With a simple text from you
And I hope that messages from me
Bring happiness to you too

And at night I lay awake
As my mind refuses to sleep
Its constantly thinking of you
I've fallen in far too deep

All I can think about is you
As it seems I've fallen
But thats not such a bad thing is it?
Invading my thoughts each and every day
How did this even happen ahah
Dec 2018 · 1.3k
It's Simple
Nyx Dec 2018
-

I like you

-
Nothing more and nothing less
Dec 2018 · 203
Why is it always her
Nyx Dec 2018
~

Why...

Why is it always her

Why is she always the best

Why is she always so much better

So much prettier, smarter, funnier

Why does she get everything

Why can she take away everything I have

Why must she invade my life

Only to steal away the things that bring me happiness

W H Y

Just...Why couldn't it ever had been me?

Why is it always her

That gets to have everything

Why is she the only one that can be happy


~
Dec 2018 · 183
Alone in the audience
Nyx Dec 2018
Pull on those strings that unviel our past
Taking small little peeps
wishing it would last
Sceaming and crying
Longing for her embrace
As we look on from afar
Our hearts begin to race
The play must go on no matter the pain
As we run though each scene
the show has brought you fame
Though the attention you do not want
And the glory all for naught
When she can't even look your way
Or spare you a single thought
I stare from within the crowd
As they walking out one by one
Till only you and I are left behind
When the final scene has been done
Then you too bow and leave the stage
And alone I sit remenising again
Alone in the audience
Where a crowd once screamed your name
Though never again shall I hear those cheers
Of those voices reduced to mere whispers over the years
Dec 2018 · 1.2k
Silent E
Nyx Dec 2018
Silent little boy
With those piercing blue eyes
Gorgeous and vibrant
As if I'm staring at the sky's

Dark brown locks
Curly and now dyed black
For a cosplay of kaneki ken
Now that was a throw back

Tall and lanky
Like most of my friends
The new student of the year
Fresh from New Zealand

Though you're longing to go home
As this place isint really your style
Homesickness I would call it
You've been feeling it for awhile

And to a girl you caught feelings
One that used you as a past time
While the other was genuine
Until she changed her mind

Silent around most people
But we have some good conversation
Sheep go meow I say with a smirk
You're a problem you say
While laughing at your declaration

You don't drink carbonated drinks
As you hate the bubbly fuzz
Its quite strange I think
Cause everybody else kinda does

And you're a good kid I reckon
Though you need to voice yourself more
As you dont allow people to know you
And so they think you a bore

But I know there's something more
Then the silence and those stares
As you can laugh and smile with me
I can feel that you truly care

But I won't fault you for your choices
Cause you may not want people around
But at least for another year
You're stuck on Australian ground

So make the most of your stay my boy
Have fun and open up a little
As you've done with me
that way everybody can see

That you're a good kid
Just a tad anti social
Thats why I call you
Silent E
E short for Ethan
Idk why it kinda just stuck
Dec 2018 · 776
He understood
Nyx Dec 2018
In the silence of the night
Through a few words uttered out
He somehow unveiled everything
Understood everything without doubt

With his head on my shoulder
Concern and sincerity in his voice
How could he know everything?
Should I be fearful or rejoice?

And how I wish to hear his words
Granting me comfort and safety
At last one understood me
Even if we haven't spoken lately

How can he be so kind
Even when he's broken to the core
Where insecurities creep and self deprivation roars

Yet he's so precious and perfect
In his own special way
He deserves the world
Though his happiness refuses to stay

Oh how I wish I could help him
In the ways he helped me
To find comfort in my presence
And to set his mind free
Dec 2018 · 523
Reap what you Sow
Nyx Dec 2018
When emotions well up
Annoyance and anger hits me
Recentment burns
Yearning to be set free

And reluctantly I let it
Slowly seep its way through the cracks
Waiting for the perfect moment
Where it can launch its final attack

Silently it brews
Subtly it shows it way
Be attentive and pick it up
As then we can begin our play

Where we act so innocent
Oblivious to what surrounds
Hands over our eyes
Refusing to make a sound

Let's see what you can do
Tho your actions won't go unanswered
In the end you'll reap what you sow
But until then nobody has to know

Except for me my dear

When the flames around you roar
And you scream out to the sky
There will be nobody left around
Who will listen to your cries

Its funny how things change people
Into beings they use to resent
And when their time comes
Its their turn to repent

And you hear the little whispers
Amongst the friends that you hold dear
No longer knowing the reason
They refused to keep you near

You never could see it though
You were always searching for more
Taking for granted everything you had
There is nobody left to adore

I hold no sympathy
As this was your doing

You reap what you sow


-
Dec 2018 · 2.8k
Stubborn little prince
Nyx Dec 2018
Stubborn little prince
With his pride so high
I'm really not okay
With the fact that you lied

Lying through your teeth
Taking it to your grave
Thinking your the mastermind
Just shut up and behave

Enough with the act
Double edged sword
Two faces are far too many
Don't do it cause your bored

That's no excuse

Your wax wings are melting
Due to all the things you've done
I'm friends with an icarus it seems
He's flown to close to the sun

You're falling again

Failing to see what's happening
Ignoring all warnings
He'll fall down very soon
He won't see the next morning

I won't be there to catch you

Go on keep talking
As you think your quite sly
You are beginning to **** me off
You should know exactly why

Your words don't match up
Nor do your actions it seems
What is your game?
Do tell me by all means

Though I don't think it'll matter
As my minds set in stone
Continue playing your game
Wouldn't want your motives to be shown

Don't fly too high
Stubborn little prince



-
Nov 2018 · 1.1k
Caged Bird
Nyx Nov 2018
I've lost my sense of happiness
I've lost my point in life
As I stare upon my phone screen
Not a single message lights
And I cry and I cry
Dont stop me
From attempting to fill this void
I smile and I smile
Dont fault me
For letting myself be destroyed
I'm alone right now
Watching it all pass me by
As people change and move on
I stand idoly to the side
Its tearing me apart
Demon clawing at my soul
Dragging me down into the abyss
Buried deep below
These chains tightening
Its harder to breath
Don't try and save me
Its pointless as I have the key
Its comforting these shackles
As at least I have a place I belong
When the world around give me no purpose
Its me that has to somehow live on
Even when all the friends I have leave
And I've been beaten and deceived
I've always been alone
There is no one I can trust
A mere passing fancy blinded by lust
And it appears to me I've grown too reliant
On the birds that perch upon my window
Keeping me company but only for awhile
Before flying away back into the sky
Where they belong
Unlike the caged bird with her wings clipped off
Singing softly to those who listen
while the owner merely sits back and watch
In the cage she is happy
As she knows no other life
Unlike the free birds
Who know how to fly
Nov 2018 · 2.0k
It's been awhile...
Nyx Nov 2018
It's been awhile since you've crossed my mind
Since I felt those memories and our lives entwined
Our film playing silently in the back
While our lives continue swiftly, steadily on track

And it's been awhile since I've heard your voice
That obnoxious laugh and those playful jokes
Your music that you so passionately create
Those songs you wrote, beautifully defined fate

And that smile of yours that gleamed like the sun
Paired with deep blue eyes like the raging rivers that run
Those dark brown locks that curled ever so slightly around
And for a moment everything ceases to make a sound

It's been awhile since I walked down our path
Since I entered those classrooms, since we were those outcasts
I haven't listened to our songs or read through our texts
I haven't talked about you or gone to such depths

As I remember more then anything they said
I knew you like non of them ever would
Define toxic, manipulative and wrong
But even if it's so, you're still my favourite song

And I loved you my dear, with a sincerest heart
But from the very beginning it was destine to fall apart
I miss you, and everything that we were
Even if now that period of contentment is only a b l u r

We talked for awhile, only moments ago
And it was as if for a second, time would slow
We talked about your girlfriend and for that I'm truly happy
I'm glad you found somebody perfect for you I say
As I attempt not to be too sappy

No matter the past, present and future
I'm glad you were a key part of my life
You gave me the world even if it were just a night
As in a world that is dark you were my light
And for that I'm eternally grateful

It's been awhile
Even so
I still love you all the same



~
Out of the entire world I live in
You were truly one of the only people I ever loved
And for that all I have to say is
Thank you, for being such an important person in my life
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