Consciously I look at you and see a bit of me,
Where thoughts drift in through happy and sad.
Like the ocean,
That's far and wide inbetween.
The ups and downs can have their toll,
As it's not always easy.
But not every moment spent is foolish,
Only lovingly.

It does not get better,
As the world gets wetter.
Crying and screaming for home,
In this triviality is where one roams.
When voice after voice,
Argues against the other.
No traction nor gain,
In this world gone insane.
Where cries of hope and peace are heard,
Only cries of death and blood remain.

Out of all things,
Those simple complex things.
Those lost, confusing, fearful, dangerous things,
Will light still shine?
Breaking the darkness held upon one's heart,
Stopping it from breaking apart.
Oh how fortunate are they the hard-hearted,
For their hearts resist the breaking.
Only in turn for their heart,
To end up aching.

The path of learning,
And setting stance.
Will it bring the path back on full?
Or open the past?
One must learn to discern,
And take cautious course.
Or the question left unanswered,
Knocks back in full force.

I am small and bare,
Lost in the unending ocean.
Where some find themselves,
When the question asked has yet an answer.
Too many parts with not enough info,
The path laid bare with facts in the open.
What do I say to that open door?
Ask to stay and ask for more,
Am I mistaken in what I see and feel?
Or is there more in what the face appeals,
Swirling moments of days lost.
Am I ready for what now will cost?
In this the true answer lies,
No more tears no more goodbyes.

A colored piece of glass,
On the ground in the grass.
Colored yellow, blue, green, and red,
Who broke it?
Are they dead?
No one knows,
Yet why should they care.
Circles and circles going in a infinite loop,
Round and round in and out of my head.
Burning with the question of who broke the glass,
Did I do it?
I can't remember,
The memories are blocked or gone,
The fear in the breath of not knowing.
The mind is slipping,
Is it going?
The glass in its broken state,
Can no longer be the one to commentate.
So I'll sadly say the point thats true,
I in a sense feel like that glass.
How about you?

It's all a public stage,
On which you display your wares.
What talk of sweet joys,
Can be something to be compared.
What lies have you yet to spew?
When all is gone and bared,
I see no easy answer.
When all you give is words,
And never really care.

A master and his words,
Never sleep never rest.
They flow as the day is long,
Beating out the best.
The words are the master,
And the master is his word.
For both must flow together as one,
Or be gone.....gone.......gone.

Where does it start now?
Where does it begin?
The writing has been on the wall awhile now,
Just like my sin.
But my procrastination,
Has left me caved in.
My life is certainly a mess now,
Like a ***** diaper bin.
I don't know how long I can last,
Being this tired and unable to get past.
All the things life requires of me to grow,
Even though my fears and uncertainties show.
Let the light shine in.

**** all the things I've ever known,
Whether here or at home.
In all this world I've never seen,
Oh what to trade for a spirits gleam.
The smooth rich taste that takes the world away,
Dark or light.
Doesn't matter,
To each their way.
But here one regresses in life's scheme,
All for just a taste of liquors forgetting drink.

I can't help you with your problem,
You already have the help you need.
I'm just something that's been here before,
And live it more and more certainly.
You cry you're lost and confused,
But it's only a moment of cloudy.
I don't know where I fit anymore,
When you've up and gone from me.
So I can be here in the presence of it all,
That you've found everywhere else.
This the best of what used to be,
Gone, lost, forsaken, possibly.

No question is left without some answer,
And the truth buried under a lie.
What reason would you tell the light?
When in darkness you'd rather hide,
You turn and turn.
Want and snide,
You increase your efforts to be alone.
A child deep inside,
Harking back to old days.
Where the world never seemed right,
When you stop,
Is when you learn.
Left alone confused,
Crying at the side.

You've issued a challenge,
Having it return back to you.
Of a love long ago,
With shelled memories of past youth.
But you struggle and fight,
For the reaction you wish for.
Being told in the end,
You want him even more.
You test to break,
But your challenge is beginning to fail.
For he's in for the long haul,
Your escape growing small and stale.

What is it we seek?
As we go round,
Pondering at the thoughts of tomorrow.
Growing to bring me down,
The thought of escape isn't far behind.
We try to swim afloat,
Everyday.
All the time,
It gets tiring to think of moments yet to pass.
As though the futures tomorrow won't last,
I sigh and gasp.
At a rest that won't come tomorrow.

As death takes to sweep him off his feet,
In this will things be fully complete.
As Chaos soon begins to reign,
And darkness overpowering all.
The boy of light still remains tall,
A sacrifice given with no end to proclaim.
All to end the suffering against the chaotic stain,
Tears of fire from the girl of red.
The Phoenix arises to defend her loving dead,
The holy flames to protect a gracious life.
And for the boy of light,
Against chaotic strife.

So in conclusion of all those years ago,
Always dancing on the edge of yourself.
Returning to your yearning of what you long for,
Alas the scenery changes evermore.
Heart in heart believing more.

Everyday you rise and fall,
Ready to ever fail.
But the challenge you rise to raise,
Leaves those on you to bail.
Foolish is he to touch the heart,
Where all you show is stone.
Beating dead the horse you bring,
Leaves you again home alone.
Fire and brimstone you sometimes spew,
With belts of sorry in between.
It wouldn't be so haltingly horrible,
If you weren't so equally mean.

In my flight and flurry fancy,
Did someone call out and call me Nancy?
Blinded by the many voices inside,
By them do I truly abide?
Knowing what known to be true,
I can I longer see in this darkened hue.
I have questioned the rational and the irrational,
With too many questions still left on the mind.
But my thoughts are unclear,
In this darkened state of mine.

No matter how much you push me out of your scene,
Either tyrannical, delinquent, or frightful mean.
It will not change the heart beaten word of you,
Laced amongst the words of many.
Flowing freely in their grasp,
Oh how at last in meeting.
The feeling remains like last,
I've ridden the self-titled roller coaster.
Seeing in which almost every move you make,
Dancing on your battleground.
Only makes in yourself forsake,
I'll never fully understand your position.
Only the outside going round and round,
In all of you I'll love.
Till the end of me is found.

I don't think I need to remind you,
Of the thin ice you're on.
Make yourself a disappearing act,
There will be more than words you'll be missing on.
I don't care to be made a fool again,
Breaking me down as you did before.
This my only warning,
Or any open road will be no more.

I called out to the sea,
But it did not call me.
Sailing on its ferocious waves,
Seasick by the up and down.
The waves can sometimes be calm,
With a little breeze to push,
But then become chaotic with deadly strength.
I am on those seas with no lighthouse,
Can the journey be accomplished without it?
What seas do you ride?
Is there a lighthouse to guide you?
Will you make it across?
I cannot answer nor can I say,
For I am still riding those ferocious waves.

From tall to short and short to tall,
Why is that you think so small?
From white to black and blue to gray,
Is it from that there is so little to say?
The height is not the matter nor is it the physical strength,
But is something so small and fragile in size.
The heart is the matter in which to fill with love,
Like a dream from above.
But sometimes love can be like a burning bridge,
Burning away what you thought to be true.
It is not enough for me to say it,
For you must feel love too.

A look that gets me everytime,
Every picture I see.
Breaks me down,
Such a wondrous face.
Melting me again down to bone,
It's like sunshine when I see it.
I can't look away,
Even when I begin again to cry.

It's easy to stay in love with the memories,
Leaving all trace of reality behind.
With moments of joy and bliss wrapped around you,
The feeling of leaving is never fine.
They creep and crawl,
Wanting your return.
In this it's easy to learn,
How these memories ******.
Every moment after,
Time after time.

Pieces of the heart,
Pieces of the mind.
Pieces of what you need,
Pieces that you'll find.
It's easy to know what you have,
Yet hard to place them together.
Of things you've felt,
And all you've seen.
Would it not make it better?
To make your own,
Means more work than you want.
But the pieces are there,
Whether you see them........or not.

You're a soul of a soul,
A complication.
You do your own dance,
One mistakes in.
I don't think I can last,
When you obviously blow past, again.
Fools are fools until they know,
Kinda wanna makes you go see their show.
Whatcha know?
I feel as though I lost a race,
But hey at least I know my place.
I'm tired of running so fast,
This stupid world is going to crash, again.
What would you call it now?
In the end.
Like shadowed figures on the wall,
You've had your ball.
Games end and tears run dry,
Faded things that end in goodbyes.
No more hello's,
Breathless sigh.
No room to stand and say,
That things were better yesterday.
For all we know,
That's said and sung.
I lost the challenge,
I am done.

What am I to think of now?
As the due point arrives,
Will this bring the bridge to understanding?
Or keep shadows covering the eyes.
I've bared no longer in keeping the central point of you,
You've already gone fully away.
Once my question's asked,
And the lines cleared for another day.
What you choose and what you do,
No longer matter in this parted play.
I've bared the feelings,
Replayed the memories.
Wrote down in many ways your name,
But even fools like me can get the gist of things.
Just takes us longer everyday,
You've burned in and out of me.
Tears of joy and truths told,
Breaking down these barriers of pain so old.
Yet I should've remembered,
The things you've said in your name.
Like water flowing from me,
The words of you proclaimed.
Now in the end I just want them,
To leave me sane.
You're gone,
Never to be the same.
I never want to write again,
The words in your name.

A door in the wall,
A roof on the cellar.
Gone in the mind,
Like a pantheon pillar.
What voice can you have,
When you're no longer seen.
Your laughter your voice,
Like a midsummers dream.

In those days so long ago,
It used to be what we know.
Now days have come and gone their way,
I now long for yesterday.
The beast within has yet to be tamed,
His snarling teeth his relentless rage.
His fearsome roar and untitillating stage,
Begots all in his own way.
Mind the path where your footing may lay,
It seems to be missed those good ole days.

So far, you sit on the other side,
Reading words so absurd that you dare not reply.
But what kind of reply would you dare to give,
To one filled with words and prerogatives.
This back and forth waving motion,
A wide deep filled silence of an ocean.
Yet there lies the sweet incentive,
Words that you couldn't come up with being so selective.
My muse it has become quite clear,
The words thought gone again arrive here.
And now with doors again open but constricted still,
The words make their appearance and have their fill.

So here we are at the beginning of the stage,
The instruments tuning to their right key.
The blare of the tuba combined with the horns,
Yet all in all I'm here to see you.
From afar I'm sure you're nervous,
The beginning jitters set in.  
Yet when it begins the silence falls,
And in that moment you'll shine.
The music will embrace the audience,
And your stage amongst others will be set.
So far yet so close,
Maybe, just maybe this is what love is.
Or maybe I'm wrong and I don't know anything,
But all in all without a doubt I certainly feel something.

Peer into my universe,
Lifting my disguise.
Although things could get worse,
Trying to hide from everyones eyes.
There are days I'd rather be dead,
Being free to roam it all.
The foolish can be mighty,
Making me feel just so small.
What comes next,
Is a mystery.
This world can leave one big upset,
Be what you can be.
There's no time,
To question it all.
For more appear,
Every question you have.
Brings another near,
This all in more.
Trying to make the answer clear,
Oh I'm just so tired.
Yet floating in this universe,
I am here.

How can I go back?
When I've been away for so long.
Is there a treaty I must sign?
Or a 12-step program I take?
Is there a sacrifice to be made?
Or a prayer not to forsake?
I don't know the answer,
It may be as simple as whats in front of my nose.
This and more,
With miles inbetween.
What do I do now?
And escape with some sort of dream.

You have been given this moment in time,
To learn, to grow, to see, and to define.
Let not one moment fall to waste,
When the doors of gracefulness appear.
Life can be forgotten on the way,
And slowly and silently disappear.
But I bring hope along,
In order to make things clear.
So reach and learn,
Grow and admire.
For so little time is left,
And so much to do that's dire.

Come hither writer,
Set the stage.
The voice of choice and reason,
Have not aged.
Paint the world in your words of all,
This the place belly up is so small.
Have you no reason or rhyme?
To take in those breaths,
Time after time.
Fiercely show the power you hold,
Frightening words of bold.
No creased pages beseech you,
Every word you wrote.
Only to feature you,
Tiny drawings to entertain your mood.
When the days of the dry well,
Bequeath you.
So writer,
Set the stage.
And with your words,
Amaze.

You see from shadows,
But never speak clear.
Your voice a silence,
Gotten used to it over the years.
What is the continuation of your comfort bonds?
You seek a solace,
In what you distance on.
I take no more pain,
Or pleasure.
Why together stuck like glue?
When in your heart,
I'm no longer part of you.
I question,
I turn.
I question,
I turn.
You whom sits in shadows,
Of once whom had the spotlight.
Now more or less,
A whisper.
Silent in my night.

There are places asunder,
Too many apart.
Where all ask for second chances,
But get only a first start.
By bringing the boiling simmer,
Off to cool.
Do we realize there is more,
Than these disheartening fools.
I bare no notice to any seismic smarts,
Being more than simple peasantry.
Is it not worth more the restart?
This circle of unending days,
Lashing till they perspire.
Hope like the light,
Gone out with the fire.
No more recession of self,
No more desire.
Council closed,
This the taunting of what a new year brings.
Questions,
Memories.
Let the New Year sing.

This is it,
From now on the turning point is gone.
I'm ended in my fear,
Struggling past what has always been.
The mountain now high above the clouds,
Feeling like it's grown too far beyond my reach.
The climb is like a nightmare,
I can no longer dream.

I stand in the center,
A role played in space and time.
The universe bigger than what I can see,
As I play my role just fine.
But to what end I play it,
And to where I go to begin it.
Have been seemingly lost with no helping sign.

So in this moment I've caused my own wounds,
Didn't think or hold truth still.
My abhorrence is in my demise,
Time to let go of the disguise.
And begin to prove myself true,
Cause out of all the while and out everything my idiocy will lose you.
So time to step up myself and prove my mettle,
In hope for future stakes too.
Or otherwise face a darkened road,
Continuing on with this unbearable questionable load.
And face myself alone,
Like I always do.

I owe you more than you know,
Yet I the fool do not show.
What shouldn't be so hard to express.
But I play the cautious the neural side,
Where my mind goes where I hide.
What then does that make me?
A lost soul out on the sea?
My words will scatter and fail me,
And all that will be left is my actions to prevail thee.
So I just simply float on this haze and hue,
Yet at times my mind wraps around you.
Thinking, dreaming, and trying to understand,
That I need to change.
And be something more,
Than a fool of a man.

So glorious the fool,
Caught in his stupidity and unwise sayings.
Mistakens the mind for its wonderful explaining,
But wonder and wrought are of a harder course,
When you wrought the wrong and keep beating a dead horse.

Nostalgia,
The great reminiscer.
The big money blisser,
All according to those remembering so.  
But a warning to be fair,
Of things past done not bare.
People pay in the droves for so,
The memories of joy.
And happy abides,
Long gone.
But remembered in days gone aside,
A taste of blissful high.
What will the payment be?
For remembering once more,
The memories thought to bring peace.
And the world you adored,
I can't comprehend the nostalgia galore.
When people would give their world,
For days of yore.

Nothing creates such strong a desire,
As the red-haired girl with the power of fire.
But while the day will come of counted cost,
The girl of fire will have a loss.
The father and daughters bridge broken at high mast,
Where at the end the girl and father will make their choice at last.
And though by no fault of their own,
The time comes sooner now once more.
For the choice of both lives,
Will be harder than ever before.

It is now we are forced to reckon with ourselves more,
As we try to return and enter again each door.
But alas a heart can barely take,
Rejected quotas of another one's state.
The burning irons hasten,
To ones icy glazing stare.
This the repeated motion,
Ending in failed flair.
What more can a fool offer to those of intellectual fair?
I have digressed almost every notion,
To which this mind compares.
Of springtime and summer moons,
Heart-filled seasons with lazy afternoons.
Is not love here and gone too soon?
A special place in one one can belong,
At times only ending.
In sweet bitternesses song.

In the end the only thing that remains are my words,
With or without my inclusion they remain.
Like unmanned scenery in a déjà vu setting,
Born out of whatever emotion begetting.
They are the forefront to my shadowed eyes,
The sword that pierces the veil on my hidden thoughts.
Words only words,
Remain.

A rose by any other name,
To me that's what you are.
There is a beauty to you and all that is,
But as with all roses.
Your thorns protect your glowing glare,
There to ***** the fingers of whom don't belong.
I've been close enough to survive the ******,
With bleeding finger tips.
From where my blood doth flow,
But the blood is worth the ******.
For such a roses glow.

Perish the thought of the secluded mind,
Dances of the soul quite completely out of time.
I've seen and felt the waves of emotions,
From shore to shore.
If one could feel beyond and more,
Yet there I am in those thoughts.
Like candlelight against the dark,
Shining like a star in its depths.
What one could tell the shining was for,
In the end it just doesn't seem clear anymore.

What am I?
Just a boat on the sea.
Sailing softly with the winds gentle breeze,
I have seen rough and calm.
Soft and chaotic,
With no rest in between.
What lighthouse guides me to its safe shores?
Am I destined to ride the waves with no light?
No, maybe not, but I cannot tell the future.
You who travels paths less taken,
Those who seek refuge from the rain.
Take haste and seek quickly,
For the storm comes without warning again.
And if you cannot see, will you hear?
I am not wise but foolish,
Destitute and foolhardy.
But I will seek the lighthouse,
In order to get in before the storm.

It was so many years ago,
The fallen downtrodden path began.
But because no future could be told,
Life must be lived in one's own hand.
I can only make predictions,
Even though I know they can't stand.
I have seen and felt,
Loved and lost.
What more can be?
How much can one see?
Before you grow into a weary old defying man.