In this moment I could cry,
Would my tears be justified in this moment?
A sadness overwhelms me,
Have I already lost?
Every moment now feels like quicksand,
I saw you yet for some reason you turned away.
I can't help this worried feeling as if I've lost today.
I know it's childish and may seem quite annoying,
But do you still love me?
As I love you still,
I know you well enough that this feels like a push.
Like I did something wrong or didn't stay long enough,
Childish I know.
But the worry grows and I know part of it is my fault,
I've kept myself to the side about the question yet asked.
If I asked it would you say yes?
Would you even want to be so?
I've always looked into those eyes and seen something more,
That smile I sometimes am able to put on your face.
I am glad to do so,
For in that moment and those after.
Means I was able to make you happy.
I hope to do so again and again,
Because that is what I really want to do and keep doing.
I know we have our ups and downs,
But regardless good or bad.
They are always worth those moments of joy and love,
Silly?
Maybe.
A dreamer?
Quite so.
But here at this point of my life,
No one compares to you.

Is innocence lost such a gain elsewhere?
What is innocence?
In a world filled with void and hurt,
You'd think the answer would be easy.
Part of the answer is seeing a world no longer through a child's eyes,
Seeing torment and struggle.
Feeling all of those things as burdens of weight and fear,
But is innocence truly lost?
Can not some remnant remain?
Or must everything be lost to fit in?
The world and its wonders,
Are truly truly strange.

In this world I'm an unknown,
Though my presence isn't fully ignored.
I'm present in this ebb and flow of life,
Interesting that it only took one step.
Simple yes,
But it's difficulty lies in the fear of it.
It's all one big step,
Scary, frightening and a little bit exciting.
It all begins with that step,
You just choose whether or not to go through with it.

High in the sky,
Though not down low.
Is a face on the moon,
We all love and know.
No changes in expression,
But phases of the night.
No terror to speak of,
Just a beautiful sight.
Guiding those lost in darkness reign,
A daily duty done again and again.
Cratered moon with a friendly face,
A reflected light for us the human race.

Sunshine,
Radiant sunshine.
The days are long,
And I feel blue.
Please shine on me too,
This world longs for darkness.
With spots of light,
As days become unending night.
So sunshine,
Oh radiant sunshine.
How long till peace comes through?
If I should ever wilt away,
Please oh sunshine.
Shine on me too.

You are no more causistic,
Than you are toxic.
The memories of you smeared on my wall,
Breaching more than wanted.
But here again we arrive at the fall,
Tumbling in this dark motioned state.
Oblivious to obliviate,
This mind sacked wrench.
Tossed back and forth,
Coming back to again question.
Why?
Why?
Why?
I ignore one voice for another,
In order to reach an assumed bright side.
But this the tumbling over,
Has left me on my side.
I no longer want this thought process,
It reaches nor teaches on a better plain.
The choice again to start over,
Has come again to drive me insane.

Is that all that bothers you?
The only time you'll say hello,
Say the distance will grow bigger.
If I don't stop for sure,
Well when you make no helpful move.
Are you part of the solution or the problem?
If you were going to do it,
You would have already done so.
And that's your problem,
When you say you're trying to figure it out.
Through all the difficulties,
You're just delaying for more time.
Like you had plenty left to use for free,
Now stop trying to use empty threats.
Be a big girl, use your words,
And finally talk to me.
If not, oh well, it was nice while it lasted,
A silly dream a silly love.
Time to get past it.

As I see it,
Free days are long gone now.
No room for movement free,
The time for catch-up disappeared somehow.
No time left for breathing,
It's nice to know a try was made.
But ended up to be a lost treating,
This chance slipped by so long ago.
The chance for any sort of meeting,
But that's ok.
No need for a reason why,
Everything said like so.
What once a hope now an annoyance,
But it was as it was.
So many years ago.

Time to write a different proposition,
Leaving behind the one I know.
Spent a chunk of life focusing,
On one particular persons go.
Time spent,
Irreverent.
Seeking new things more and more,
Still I'll keep believing.
Of one still left to know.

I've come to the point,
To where I must push myself.
In for the words to rise,
I burn and I quiver.
Cool down and shiver,
But my block keeps hidden my uprise.
Am I a poet or a parrot?
Mocking every worded rhyme,
I'm bummed and bamboozled.
At the cantankerous creations of my noodle,
Keeping up with time.
The infernal cry and racket,
Seems to muddle my internal bracket.
Where words flow like water,
Day and night.
But in this standing,
With no easy way of handling.
A safety net gone,
No more easy lines.

Stardust,
Heavenly stardust.
How ancient is your glow?
Millions of years,
Of your shining light.
With stories left untold,
Generation after generation.
Quasars and plasma streams,
Extensions of your darling light.
How magnificent less appreciated,
These ancients shining in the night.

As I see it,
Free days are long gone now.
No room for movement free,
The time for catch-up disappeared somehow.
No time left for breathing,
It's nice to know a try was made.
But ended up to be a lost treating,
This chance slipped by so long ago.
The chance for any sort of meeting,
But that's ok.
No need for a reason why,
Everything said like so.
What once a hope now an annoyance,
But it was as it was.
So many years ago.

Oh child of isolation,
Why do you hide?
Why in the womb of a tomb do you reside?
I know the world has its ways in bringing you down,
Abating your breath when no good can be found.
Is there no hope left within your very soul?
This here is the test you must console,
Turn and change from what you were before.
You cannot live in this past anymore,
The sobering sweetness you once had.
Cannot for what was be glad?
Only when you change will there be more chances down the road,
But first you must give up and bury your burdensome load.
Or otherwise what you seek will always slip your grasp,
So child of isolation what will you do?
Will you stay this way forever?
Or change and be anew?

A sight,
A smell.
A memories glance,
What traces yesterday's today is at best a personal stance.
Anymore to learn?
Any to forget?
Crossroads and wide turns,
Can make one confused and upset.
But let us not forget lessons learned,
Of those of growth and regret.
For if not to remember what we learned,
Then it is better to forget.

Should one sell themselves so short?
That their works and wonders,
Are rendered useless.
That their earned respect and rightful deserving favor,
Spoiled by those of just or unjust nature.
Maybe I am blind to those who work and break themselves in order to survive,
Or to the reasons of why their good works lay away to the side unseen or unused.
If that is true then no truth is ever in me,
How can it be?
When I've been deemed blind by others.

Power plays,
On different days.
Bringing irony to the tip top of this plateau,
I struggle with words beyond reach sometimes.
But never forgetting what's below,
Hellish work for sound minded journeymen.
When all wish to be as quite so,
Yet when one is corrupt.
The mind no longer sound or sane,
This is the beginning to what's below.
And never be seen again.

It's hard to get rid of,
This old crusty skin.
Am I to rid myself of this tiredness?
Or by it cave in?
Lost and dreary forever on this empty shore,
Begging for more when all recedes me.
This is the never ending struggle of the mind,
Bearing and dragging me down all the time.
And so it is that it bears down more,
When there's no room to breath.
And nary a door.

Day after day,
Not a moment too soon.
The place became empty,
Just a boy and his room.
Life's struggle is daily,
Sometimes hard to grasp.
More things to learn,
Again not much lasts.
But there again I will learn in life's gracious boon,
There will still be a place.
For a boy and his room.

That's it,
Read closer.
Let the words draw you in,
But be warned.
What you take away is based on your position,
I'm no teller of hopes or dreams.
I've crumbled and been crushed by mine it seems,
Can't operate.
Can only simulate,
What wish I have for me.

Here at the crossroads inbetween,
Lies the path that is not so nice or mean.
An incredulous amount of life goes into what is next,
The road laden with billows of hot air and steam.
The fight and struggle of living onward,
With sometimes not knowing what it means.
So now the choice of many choices,
Waiting in the shadows hides.
Which path will you take?
On this crossroads divide.

Don't leave,
(Yet you're already gone).
Please stay,
(But you're too far on).
What voice will you hear?
Now that you're no longer here,
Will you even stop by again?
I guess I'll never know,
If you'll ever show.
And wind up crossing paths once again.

There are always those whom cross our path,
That leave us asking why.
And those whom come our way,
And leave us with a big and empty sigh.
I have seen and felt the good and the bad,
Whether by my hand or someone else's.
Some I can get over and live,
And others whom have my heart and it goes awry.
I bleed so easily to those heartbreakers,
When I just want to give.
Is love simply captured and toyed to the point of disposition?
Or is it a lie told to gain more?
I have been childish in some areas of my life,
Running and hiding for my convenience.
And being so foolish in the process,
That I still am.
Have I been so foolish not to see?
Things that should be apparent to me,
Lost in the question whom the answer flees from.
I in that am in an end of sorts,
But then again maybe not so.
All in all that is where my mind is time to time,
And that in its certainty is unlikely to change.

I throw myself into my head,
When the world around me spins quite slowly with dread.
The thoughts and aches of what comes by,
Why in the world does it make me cry?
My heart and feelings connected as one,
Burn me like I'm on the sun.
And there in the quiet spaces where I hide,
Myself to me I've lied.
What doubtful errors I've concocted that close me in myself?
The hidden doors and twisted paths that make more than what I need.
I am lost and afraid,
Alone and sad within my soul.
A fear of change,
A needed change.
Where else am I left to go?

You say yes,
I say no.
Neither one knows what they want.
We struggle,
And we dance.
Around each other's word of thought.
Let the minds react,
And our intelligence pour.
We both want each other,
But end up wanting something more.
So what will you do?
When the world comes crashing on you.
Will you disappear into the night?
Or the face the worlds undying fight.
Be strong and steady,
As the day renews.
Or fall broken and despaired,
Washed out fully used.

Inspirational flares,
Like starlit skies.
Bring forth a chance of renewal,
Life to barren styes.
After glow jubilee,
Remorse in tow.
The forward thinking motion,
Of what you think you know.
But what is known,
Is other's thinking out loud.
The written verses word,
Shouted more than the silence sow.
So with this jump of a renewed release,
Will the motion stay forward or end up dead deceased?

While my heart cries at one end,
I question at the other.
The swinging circuit of this revolving door,
Just gives nothing more than trouble.
I bear this sadness and it just doesn't easily go away,
Why is it so hard to give and turn from those memories?
What must I do to stop the reappearing tears that never end?
I am a fool and recklessly follow so,
Just in hope that one day I will no longer feel.
This broken-hearted syndrome.

To once was to what is,
Is the difference I deal with.
Time changes all things,
And life lived because of that hurdle is difficult.
All thoughts that go round and round in circles,
But never end in their tormenting of me.
What was isn't,
What is is.
The reminder, the jab,
That leaves me like this.

They call my name from the darkness,
Yet I cannot hear their cries.
What voice remains of the living?
When all that remains is a hollowed boy inside,
Stuck in his mind.
The freedom it allows,
Can things change when it is of himself that must be allowed?
For fear grows like a **** untamed,
And once it grows thick and strong it is hard to change.
What refuge am I allowed from myself?
What courage can I muster to live on?
No voice but my own howls in the wind,
And not one to share the journey I'm in.
So again from the darkness they cry my name,
Only to destroy what in me remains.

It's a journey,
One with twists and turns.
Ups and downs,
With danger surrounding all sides.
Once taken there can never be a return,
The door shut to past safety.
I have never left that door,
In turn I have not pursued anymore.
Like the saber tooth's teeth gone dull,
My edge is more decoration than a sharp cut.
Sure I am here,
But in the end I'm not.
What once was a dream to remember,
Now forgot.

I am but one person in this big ocean,
Where does my place begin?
The thoughts and turns of this world,
Make me lose my head again.
Why bother when the answer I seek is distant?
Or so far beyond that my voice is so small?
Sighs,
Whatever it is.
I am too small,
For a world so big.

A new wind,
A change in direction.
The past choices made that lead up to the now,
What will this new path bring?
A view?
A hope renewed?
Or something inbetween?
If I were to try and predict,
I would be wrong.
But I could be right as well,
Regardless, you have seen something different.
And the change upon your mind,
Has found its way in.
Be proud,
Be happy.
And eventually you'll win.

No person is without the risk of losing,
No soul is without its worth of saving.
I see the differences in the days light,
The prism which I've had all my life.
It's funny how things work out though,
Still so far I have yet to go.
The lessons learned still deep out of reach,
The miles I've traveled.
Have they yet to teach?
I am the child of lonely sad madness,
That which can only be obtained through deepened sadness.
But here I am more lively than most,
Playing along as the second ghost.
This is the voice shouting against the wind,
Here I am, come get me if you can.

Beauty and grace,
Sway from place to place.
As you walk down this unguided line,
Though signs are clear.
And quite charmingly here,
This choice of life's undying rhyme.
So what cradled hand that made you,
By the living breath that saved you.
Not always clear cut or on time,
But isn't quite clear?
That's why life is truly dear,
And cannot replace true love's chime.

I've come to the state of I don't care,
Burrowing my head in the sand till this point.
It bleeds and begs me to move on from this place,
It doesn't care to ask anymore.
I have let myself become stuck in this misery,
The empty shell equaling instant mystery.
The place of the mind kept for weeping all in my own,
There is more to one's sheer snideness left alone.
But fear reaches beyond it's said stage,
Again and again it tells me to stay.
I must fight back,
Even though I've grown tired and sleepy.
Where I am young,
I feel old.
This place close to prison,
Must no longer keep me.

I'm fighting for a future that I don't deserve,
Because I'm lost in this land of misery.
What can it be?
Time has come to a halt,
More to question.
More to see,
I'm a lonely soul.
Lose control,
Is this all I'm meant to be?

The backwaters of the world flow upstream,
They try to find their worth and all of what it means.
You can only go so far on what's real or fantasy,
I've lived and seen the ire of ones ways.
Dropped on point confused and dazed,
This the time of triumph for ones returning place.
Can you no longer see without rage?
Is all blinding fury your only attribute?
At this point lossless and sadness continue.

Ghosts,
They seem more prevalent these days.
What you thought wouldn't be,
Has it returned to its place?
The eye catches glimpses,
Of times used to be.
The highs and lows,
Does it end?
Can you see?
I can't look beyond these shadowed walls,
Blinding as its come to be.
What else is there in ones shuttered dome,
But observing what has yet to come.
Flailing and shouting endlessly.

Quarreling lovers,
Put out the light.
Shut up,
Go to bed.
Don't forget to turn out the light,
Your rambling arguments are childish shambles.
Get up and get over it,
Or figure out your unlearned parables.
Your stupidities reach beyond your garden wall,
Stop fighting and grow up.
Stop using the wall,
Obvious fallacies lay on both sides.
Either work it out and be adults,
Or for the love of the almighty.
Say your goodbyes,
Your public fights are childish with no reaching results.
Shut up,
Go to bed.
And leave relationships to those wishing to be there at all.

Everytime I see that look,
You crawl around in my skin.
Every shiver,
Every prickled hair raised.
The thought of you is tumultuous,
Every memory saved, scrapes by.
I can't burn you out cleanly,
Your markings left over on my wall.
I get angry at you,
Wanting to burn every part of me till you're gone.
But hate never rests here in me,
I beg to know your hugs and touch all over again.
It's a fascinating,
Yet disheartening truth of me.
Of what I felt and still feel all this time,
I've let you burn in through me.
Every.....single....time.

Like trees we grow from small seedlings,
With each passing moment we grow to the sky.
We shoot and sprout,
Changing evermore to reach that full growth.
Yet one day like the tree,
We will come down.
We change,
We grow,
We die.
This the passing of life and all its wonder,
Into the next we go.

Tall are the Towers that stretch up like tree's,
Covering their world in whatever they please.
Made of ivory,marble,brick, and clay,
In their own world they do as they say.
One day they will fall and cave from below,
It is there in their self-righteousness; they become their own foe.

Love,
Your mysteriousness in question has made me second guess.
You've fooled me like the rest,
When I have lost ability to tell what is true.
You've turned an even weaker man blue,
How then can I call you love?
Were you even love to begin with?
Or just an illusion of what I've been seeking of?
Who knows what it truly is?
Or understands the vast valleys one finds them in during,
Hide my eyes no longer behind your cloudy veil, oh love.
For if I am ever truly to have you,
Then I must be free clear to see out of it, of you.
And gain the happiness of you again.

A split girl of two sides,
A dilemma risen out of it achieved.
One of daring, brave, fearless adventuring,
The other quiet, hidden, with polite welcome gesturing.
The void of the person whole,
Of yet who she is.
Is yet to be consoled,
The irony of this venture.
Is a split of another,
Will either win?
Or be together whole?

I am the old,
The ancient of days.
A fierce warrior of the weary,
Bringing peace to where I lay.
Teeth and claws,
Scales and fire.
I am the dragon that cannot be denied,
More legendary than golden hands or eye.
You can try your best to beat me,
But truth be told you'll die.
For I the Dragon protect what is most precious to me,
More truth than a lie.

Can you hear me?
The echo bouncing and traveling through your mind,
Have I lost stance within your graces?
Or like me,
Is there still more to find?
I know your soul,
Just not to its full extent this time.
Will I remain within your kind love?
Or be pushed out without a second rhyme?

I'm offering a brittle peace,
Waving my white flag.
So many days pass between us,
Seem to think nothing was had.
Why the roaring silence?
For such a small mistake.
Is there any grudges left on your end,
A time left to forsake.
I know your time is precious,
Always has been always will.
Is there anyway to meet in the middle?
To be called friend still.
Is there no hope left on this middle ground?
For good times that seemed to be once had,
In this as latent waters have receded.
Am I the good guy or bad?

Life is worth leading,
If one could only try.
The fears of a leftover age,
Amidst whats gone by.
This the turn of the page moves forward,
And I in the words being read.
Does this reveal the soul of me?
Has my poker face shown its tell?
Nothing is for certain,
Only change keeps its course.

Sunlight gathered raindrop,
Still glowing in its hue.
The morning proceeded past the dawn,
There's not much more I can do.
The sunlight rising higher,
More drops now settled by.
A rainbow appears brighter,
In the morning sky.
I see no reason to be sad,
For the daylight that comes through.
Shines on me even though I'm sad,
But doesn't leave me blue.
I'm still drunk upon this maddening stage,
Where life chews me out and spits me through.
But I must quit this craze,
For the sunlight gathered dew.

I need you to love me,
When I can't love myself.
I need you to love me,
When I'm all alone on this shelf.
Life can be hard sometimes,
And with you it's never easy.
But how could I love anyone else,
When you make me feel this way.
I get so tired sometimes,
As the world tries to bring me down.
It's simple but can become complex,
As craziness ensues.
But your love is like a drug,
And it leaves me with a smile.
So won't you please just sit by me,
And stay for a while?

She sings to a world filled with life,
But with strife comes the harsh and dreary.
Barring the bare bones of herself,
She plays on.
The sounds of sweet melodies and harmonies intertwining,
The boldness of her foray into the darkened world.
Shine, even though the bleak storm clouds approach,
Not far behind.
The only sound warranted is hers,
Keeping at bay the noise of the world.