Cheers to us
The sad and lonely
Drinking beers
At a truck stop
Cheers to us
The broke and broken
Shooting white powder
Into our veins
Cheers to us*
The sick and disturbed
Cutting our bodies open
To find liquid rubies
That makes the pain
Stop.
-CsR

And after you told me I wasn't as beautiful
I was terrified
All I saw in the mirror was a monster
A horribly ugly monster
I couldn't let anyone love me
I couldn't let myself feel beautiful
Because you,
The one I was ready to give everything to,
Didn't want me anymore.
So I hid
And old habits came back with vengeance.
-CsR

You came into the bathroom
And took the blade from my hands
You left me in shock
And returned with the
Mickey Mouse band aids
And a box of tissues.
You turned on the faucet
And as the water turned red
You just stared at me
You bandaged me up
And you stared again
Until I started telling you
The whole story
And when I was done
You just stared
And then you did something extraordinary.
You started to cry.
-CsR

Dear friend,
You are somewhat new
But I already like this
This feeling of being normal
This feeling of being happy
These are the feelings you bring.
I take your things because
They are small reminders
Of what it's like to be content
And unfortunately
I fear that one day
I'll fall in love
But I know that you'll
Help me up
Disinfect my cuts
Bandage my broken body
And send me on my way
Until then,
*Love always
CsR

You're a good liar.
Really you are.
You act like you care,
Like I am actually important to you,
But there are flaws in your pathetic calumny.
I can see the way you watch other girls,
The way you want them.
I can hear the slander you tell your friends,
The way you degrade me to impress them.
I can smell the alcohol on your breath,
The perfume of the great time you had without me.
I can feel your hands slipping from my waist,
And up the bottom of her shirt.
I can taste someone else's cherry lip balm,
The deceitful words you've repeated to a hundred girls before me.
But you insist it's all stupid rumors.
You claim they're all lies and slander.
But I know.
I've always known.
And I'm done.
-CsR

Suddenly I felt like what
I would imagine an infant would
I am helpless
But when I cry
He comforts me
When I sleep
He admires me
When I laugh
His heart swells with joy
I am helpless
But he won't let anything happen to me.
CsR

Drip drip drip
Goes the IV
Into my arm and
Into my brain
Drip drip drip
Goes my eyes
Salt water streaks
And my ears ring
Drip drip drip
Goes the wrists
Blades colored red
And slits bleeding sadness
Drip drip drip
Goes my heart
Screaming profanity
While being ripped open.
Drip drip drip
Goes the sky
Pieces polluting the ocean
As my world falls apart.*
-CsR

I stare out of my window to see the beach
The waves crashing on the shore
The sun reflecting off of the beautiful blue monster
Ominous grey clouds appear
A storm is arising
The leaves are whispering in the wind
They anchor themselves onto their vigilant branches
The incandescence and evanescence of it all is intoxicating
The waves rasping
The wind bellowing
The leaves screaming and
The skies crying out in laceration
I can't stop staring
It comes closer
And closer
And closer
I wake up with a start
I look over and see you sleeping
So worn yet so serene
The storm is hidden and I should be glad
But I can't wait to be submerged in it again
To drown in the storm that is you.
-CsR

"Society is cruel."
The definition of society
Is a body of individuals
Living as members of a community. Individuals.
Society is not cruel.
We* are cruel.
You and me
And every other individual.
Society is the label
We give ourselves as a disguise.
There is no they or them.
There is only you and me.
There is only we.
We are cruel.
Own it.

All us teens live for
Is crazy Friday nights
Filled with drunken confessions
And flashing lights
Swingin records
And fights with our ex
Dancin, liquor
And mind boggling ***
-CsR

Lost within you
Your hair golden like the sun.
I'm lost in the sky during the noon day hour
Your eyes, green like a forest
I'm lost wandering through this maze
Your smile, white like snow
I'm lost in this blizzard, trapped inside your picket fence
Your touch, as warm as a clear summer evening
I'm lost within my own memories of childhood
My heart, filled with so much emotion
I'm lost within my own feelings
How did you do this?
I barely know you
I once had such a clear path and now,
I'm just wandering around, lost.
-CsR

I hate it when people say they’ve been down the same road
Because they haven’t
Or maybe they have
But not in the same light
Not at the same time
Not as I traveled down that road did anyone accompany me.
I was alone.
No one knows how I saw it how it felt.
You’ve gone done that road during dusk.
Dusk. When all of the secrets slowly start to creep out.
I went at midnight. All of those secrets wide awake. Haunting and taunting.
Eating me alive.
She went at dawn.
Dawn. As the mask starts to come out, but the secrets have yet to disappear completely.
He went at noon.  The mask was now out. But there are cracks. Imperfections.
Places that not even the mask can hide away the secrets.
We all are so eager to tell one another about “that road”.
We’ve all “been down that road”, and want to tell our story.
But we mustn’t. Because there are people out there who need us more than we need ourselves.
People who have nothing and no one. Not a soul, a breath, a sliver of hope.
So yes.
We’ve all been down that road.
But that road wasn’t the same for any of us.
And it never will be.
-CsR