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1.4k · Jun 2018
White Lies
Constantine Jun 2018
Almost believed the girl when she said
she missed me
but she's not making an effort to talk to me
and thats okay cause i wouldn't talk to me either
i just wish she wouldn't have said she missed me
it's all i've been thinking about
1.3k · May 2018
Constantine May 2018
Despite efforts to try to erase you from my mind
i still catch myself wondering how your day is going
who you talked to, whatever drama it is you have now
is this what love is? if so i have it for the wrong soul
if i can convince myself you never had a second thought about me
maybe i can get over this mountain of memories
1.0k · May 2018
Constantine May 2018
Awful thoughts,
terrible ideas of departure in my own room
i dont wanna be like this forever
just hold me now, i cant breathe
857 · Jun 2018
Constantine Jun 2018
up through most of the night
lights from the hallway
peering from under the doorway
shadows walking right up to the door
no sound
no heavy movement from foot
or creaks from the floor
slowly my door handle turns to open
then released
i think i'm going crazy
the voices continue on
from what seem to be very dark corners of my mind
835 · Feb 2021
I read your mind
Constantine Feb 2021
i lose the mystery and i lose your attention
i'm better off as an idea in your head
805 · Aug 2018
Constantine Aug 2018
I don't get it
i stood still for so long for this to work
finally we might have the timing right,
so why do i feel like this one is amiss too.
I can feel your love, it feels real this time.
I just don't know if i can say the same about mine.
I'd hate for you to read this.
I promise i love you like i always did
but i think this affection needs to be from a distance.
691 · Jun 2018
Constantine Jun 2018
I mean if im being honest the love i deliver
is kinda creepy
but it isn't when you're on your knees asking for
the nastiest things you could think of
652 · May 2018
Constantine May 2018
only as long as i can remember
it starts to get blurry and i'm breaking down
i don't want the last thing i had of you to be irrecoverable
devoid of meaning
lost within the confines of my brain
587 · May 2018
Constantine May 2018
I feel like i know a lot
but i don't know
what day it is
580 · Jul 2018
Constantine Jul 2018
We can lay here all day
*** every now and again
trips to get high too,
days fly by
is it Saturday? or Monday ?
i think we got together on a Thursday
i would let all my days fly by
as long as you were here
Constantine Oct 2018
Back to trying to write,
trying to write poetry, while i hear music in my ears
i can see myself creating a song
or at the least, trying to.
I'm worried my music wont
make any noise.
I'm worried it wont make people feel the way i feel
thats all i want, i think i could do it in poetry,
now i just have to find out how to do it in music.
521 · Jul 2020
Constantine Jul 2020
I hate this feeling
this is why i do drugs
because i'm scared to feel like this
im sweating in my bed and i cant sleep
only now do i wish so much for nothing to feel
nothing to touch or smell or see
i just want to be completely, Null, i want to not exist

is this the tragedy we are all born with?
Do we all just cope in different ways?
is mine just drugs?
will mine take me out?
i am not that lucky.
I hope venting here can bring my soul Peace , even if, just for a second.
Constantine Jun 2018
I already hate myself for the things i do
their not good for my health
but they feel so good
no matter what
i find myself seeking out the substance to bring me up to the clouds
the change of character that comes with them
the confidence they bring
it's lovely
words are easy, songs flow out like a river
this feeling won't last
the ideas only exist under the influence
rinse and repeat

i hope they take me while i sleep
447 · Dec 2020
pretty girl
Constantine Dec 2020
we met by accident
and i will never forget the words you said
in the short time we crossed paths
your smile will always be in my head
432 · Oct 2020
Constantine Oct 2020
i love the way your eyes look inside me
like they can actually see me

i haven't felt like i exist in other peoples world but my own
it is like the universe sent me you
so i can remember what it feels like to live
398 · Jun 2018
Constantine Jun 2018
i tend to attract a lot females
is it the mystery i hold?
is it the toxic behaviour
whatever it is
they must love it
i'll use their bodies for my fun
but in reality
i only want my ex
and their just helping me drown all my pain in ***
367 · Aug 2020
Constantine Aug 2020
Lately i have been getting visits in my dreams from the person
i sought the most
but it wasn't a blissful loving euphoria
it was an update on you
it was my fears made real by the molecules
swishing around in my brain

i know they are just dreams
but i feel as if they have really happened
that i deserve some sort of closure
but i do not
no, i really don't
It is odd because i never dream, i can not remember the last time i went to bed and saw pretty pictures, it is always black.
365 · Jun 2018
Constantine Jun 2018
Poems are lovely
simple words painting vivid images
lovely paintings of girlies who
have long since left me
with only words left to express
nothing left to leave my mouth
only write
soon, i will serenade my love to show her
how someone can truly love another human
348 · Jul 2018
Constantine Jul 2018
The party is over, music has stopped
and all i can hear is the cries of a young girl whose heart
had just been broken
bright lights shining down on my dilated eyes
slowly coming down from the sky
body still tingling
feeling your body resting on mine, a glance
at the blue sliver of iris sitting beside the black void
that was your pupils, she is the epitome of beauty for me.
Down goes another one for the lovebirds
back to the clouds
Don't you just love addiction fuelled romance ?
315 · Nov 2018
I dont like this ending
Constantine Nov 2018
I wanna fix everything i did
the stuff that nonchalantly came out of my mouth
was the loudest for you
i'm sorry i was oblivious to your suffering
you hide it very well
i wanted nothing but to help you figure life out, just as i am
but there's nothing i can do now
i hope i can treat my next love
with the love you deserved
i'm sorry, i love you
305 · Feb 2019
Constantine Feb 2019
You have so much pride
But the liquor cripples your mind
And you make a fool of yourself
Every single time
299 · Jun 2018
Geography class
Constantine Jun 2018
I can still see exactly what you were wearing
the day i finally got the courage to talk to you
the necklace you wore was enchanting to me
but it was probably just the skin underneath it
hard to converse with you in the beginning
but i figured out how to get you to talk
i loved your voice so much
all i hear in it now is the animosity
that occupies your image of me
It was ironic because i loved to have class with her, everyday i looked forward to it. When the semester ended, so did our love. But now its almost comical because she is always in at least one of my classes.
297 · Jun 2018
Summertime Recollection
Constantine Jun 2018
It's been months now
i can somewhat
manage a smile when i hear your name
happy feelings are coming back
no more slow music
287 · Apr 2019
Constantine Apr 2019
I want to Tatt
a Halo around my head
so i remember that i'm an angel
278 · Dec 2018
Constantine Dec 2018
This time
it might've been real
she might have actually left me for real now
and i'm so scared
but i'm so high i don't care
once it leaves i am rushed
with emotions that were absent when i was in the clouds
I'm still gonna miss her too much for my own good
i need some downers
273 · Jun 2018
Constantine Jun 2018
once i overdose
i'll see the rest of you
in hell
271 · May 2018
Constantine May 2018
Need a break from airheads
empty people with empty words
nothingness to fill the void
Melodramatic emotion pumped teenagers
latching onto anything
i hope they find themselves soon enough
265 · May 2018
Constantine May 2018
watch them closely
the lights in my room
along with feeling
purple for numbness
i hate feeling alive
its pain
red for hate
i hate you
so much
because i knew you'd never love me
like i loved you
dancing with them
i see your face in the rain from my window
pain still exists
soon to exit
your exit.
252 · May 2018
Constantine May 2018
Let's try it again?
same book, same ending
it's my favourite book though
i'll never get sick of it
251 · Jun 2018
Constantine Jun 2018
I could have only one night left
and i would gladly spend it with you
doing nothing
but enjoying the mere presence of your being
is all i would need to finally
rest in peace
this idea of death is so heavily romanticized in my mind that i'd rather die than live past 27
239 · May 2018
Constantine May 2018
Drugs on the nightstand
i feel dead
but your alive for me
do you want to feel like me?
take one or two and we can spend
forever together
239 · Jun 2018
weeeek long lust
Constantine Jun 2018
So fast
i waited for you for so long
once you were finally within reach i sprinted for the chance to love you the way i always wanted to
this shower of affection was all too much for a recently broken
i hope she actually loved me, it felt like it was real
but the way she left me without even a word
screams that she never cared at all
215 · Jan 2019
Constantine Jan 2019
Why do we do this
we both can't seem to leave eachother
you could stab me in the heart
or leave me in the freezing cold
i'm still gonna come back to you
Constantine Nov 2018
All i do is take
take take take
i cant help it
im just a ******* hole to **** all your energy
i did not realize i have this effect on people
this made me realize
i am better off alone
doing nothing but stimulants and writing pretty words
for people online who don't care
i really wanna die alone in my room high as ****, i miss my baby
i miss the sunlight
i miss having people who cared enough to even text
205 · May 2018
Constantine May 2018
Something about childish love
playing with your hair, holding your hand
makes me feel full again
laying with you in a field
watching clouds
will forever be warmer than anyones insides
201 · Jul 2018
Constantine Jul 2018
Oh, how lovely death looks
romanticized so much by the destruction i set upon myself
step by step i yearn for pain
the only feeling that is undeniably real
without the pain i would feel nothing at all
without the drugs
everything is hollow and my brain rots from broken relationships gone astray
once my plug texts back i'm back in the loop
no thoughts
no pain
no worries
Death looks lovely now
201 · Jun 2018
Constantine Jun 2018
Demons that you only see in your nightmares
play with me all night
endless games
void of anything forever
i am everything and nothing
he has shown me that with meaning
nothing means anything
194 · Jul 2018
Energy does not die
Constantine Jul 2018
I think the moment you find something that makes you happy without even trying, you had better follow it to the end of time
with enough energy you put into your passion
you will make this version of our universe your *****.
193 · Jun 2018
Constantine Jun 2018
I remember
when you used to hold me close
and say you loved me
192 · Aug 2020
Constantine Aug 2020
meet me there and i'll never forget your name
i will have nothing better to do than wait for you
keep your spot warm and sing while i wait
eternity is nothing
if i can spend it with you
186 · Jun 2018
Constantine Jun 2018
Lay here with me till i die
please and thanks love
183 · May 2018
Constantine May 2018
Jaw dropped
eyes dead
all i want
is to never wake up again
181 · Dec 2020
i dont care
Constantine Dec 2020
tomorrow my brain might hurt
come downs ****
but the ups are so worth it
180 · Dec 2020
Constantine Dec 2020
ecstasy makes me so comfy
but it makes me wanna touch your hair
and you will never be around
so i just listen to music
and think about you
because it feels really good
178 · Oct 2020
Constantine Oct 2020
tender as you are
you are a nuclear bomb ticking away
i can see it , kind of
you hide it well
but i think i need to turn around soon
i do not wanna be around to see that one pop
175 · Feb 2021
Constantine Feb 2021
I never dream but i dreamt of you
no idea why instead of nothingness until i wake up
you occupy my mind
it is odd
my mind has an attachment to someone who left
in no more than 2 months
173 · Nov 2018
Don't remember me
Constantine Nov 2018
I'm sorry emotions take over every time we talk
i can't hold anything in
i'm dramatic about everything
i dont wanna be alive anymore
i have never felt more comfortable with the idea of bleeding out
in my room while listening to good music
173 · Aug 2020
Constantine Aug 2020
bury me with my thoughts
leave me quietly in the cemetery to rest
for all eternity i will be silent

quietly i wait, for nothing to happen
it is all black now
quiet and peaceful
just like they said it would be.
163 · Jul 2020
Constantine Jul 2020
might only feel like my life is over
i know yours is still moving, so so so fast

im stagnant
i am stuck in quicksand
and i only like to thrash around and go deeper and deeper
until my head is under the surface and there is nothing left but silence.
She told me to take care of myself and im scared i am gonna do the opposite,
That isn't her ******* problem though, it doesnt matter to her because it shouldn't. It should only matter to me, right?
162 · May 2018
Constantine May 2018
dancing around truth
language presenting love and care
true intentions of selfishness
hard to pickup
but we have played together before
no longer intoxicated by love
catching tone
body language
slight shifts explain everything before
voices ever do
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