Shame on me

Shame on me for not pushing the label further.

Shame on me for not recognizing your true colors.

Shame on me for being deceived by your continuous empty promises.

Shame on me for ignoring the endless trail of red flags.

Shame on me for embracing your abuse with open arms.

Shame on me for accepting your disrespect.

Shame on me for allowing you to destroy the tenacious woman I am.

Shame on me

I have spent my whole life attempting to find the sun.
So, that I may have a source of light,
In this dark tunnel that I inhabit,
Which is defined as my life.
But it was not until I halted my journey that I realized,
The world's brightest stars need darkness to shine.

I have been butchered

By your words your actions and

By your *****

With false hopes and dreams

I stand here waiting for you

To fulfill your vows

How could I forget

Being blamed for his abuse

When I spoke of it

My words weren't abusive

When I said them in that tone

He stated to me

Withered and broken

I long to be the flower

Blossoming with ease

Please just leave my head

Instead of convincing me

I'm better off dead

Will the ghost of you

Haunt me if I cannot let you go

After you leave me

Why do I hold on

To the stranger's perception

Of who I should be

Before you leave me

Please take all the memories

Enclosed in my heart

As the walls close in

The demons inside my head

Steal every breath I take

Words I wish to hear

Your heart is worthy of love

Your soul merits happiness

I fault myself

For falling in love with your lies

Instead of the truth

I spend more time

Mourning the living rather

Than mourning the dead

He was never mine

To love to hold or to lose

Yet I waste my time

Despite of every

Little thing you put me through

I loved you selflessly

He stated to me

I want to do better but

You will not let me

I've had enough loss

In this life and the next life

That has yet to come

I cannot bring myself

To say goodbye because that

Means losing you forever

I miss the man I met on happenstance.
Not the unmasked version of you.

One day I might lose

To the hidden thoughts floating

Deep inside my head

Have you asked yourself

If you are running towards your fears

Or away from them

Maybe closing yourself

Off from me will make it easier

When the inevitable comes

Just because you did

Not notice does not mean

I handled it well

While on borrowed time,
We wasted our minutes 
For the things that did not matter.

I fell in love with

The darkness of your soul because

It felt like home

When you are looking

For love in the wrong places

You will think of me

With seven billion

Souls on earth how fortunate

Are we to have met

Empty promises

Hang on the line next to

Your ***** laundry

I pray that you get

Everything you want in life

And heal your toxic traits

When will I be free

From his grasp and his control

What will it cost me

I envy the people

That get to spend their life with the

Other half of their soul

With her upbringing

She could have been a villian

Instead she chose righteousness

Why did I ever

Think you would respect my no

When I said it

You taught me that loving someone with your whole heart is not worth the pain.

Why would I break you

When I am entirely

Broken myself

Behind tinted glass

Your love is quite beautiful

I wish it was real

Sweetheart what makes you

Think that you will be anything

More than doormat

Nothing hurts more than

Finding the right person at

The wrong time in life

Please do not worry

I will cover the rubble

That you left behind

My wish for you

May you never have to hide

Your story from others

Loving you broken me
Yet I still find myself
Missing you

My greatest regret

Was breaking myself for you

So you felt loved

If I try harder

Maybe I can salvage this

Rather than fail you

It was my mistake

Trying to keep you close when

You wanted to leave