We never had it all.
But we had an open sky full of stars.
The edge of the universe didnt seem that far.
Riding saturns rings all the way.
Passing the man in the moon with a smile and a wave.
Felt like cloud 9 only higher.
Astroids setting the night sky on fire.
Escaping reality stuck in a dream.
Lasting forever or so it seemed. Until
Out of nowhere tragedy struck.
An unseen darkness. With such a force of bad luck.
A black hole pulled us in.
A beautiful life never to be seen again.

Love sick
Withdraws come on quick
I’m a fiend
I’m an addict
It’s just another bad habit

Well...

Its like an earthquake
Deep down in your soul.

It rumbles and shakes
You can feel it in your bones.

It leaves you in the dark as
It rips through the walls of your heart.

The ground opens beneath you as you start to fall apart.

There is no warning in the moments before.
It can happen anytime.

Leaving you in shock sometimes even paralyzed.

It only takes a couple of minutes to destroy everything you own,
But it takes a lifetime rebuilding everything you know.

You asked "what is it like to lose someone you love?"

Well...

Its like a bomb going off deep down in your soul...

Im sure going to miss you Jimmy Lee Belcher

"Tomorrow" has become a word everyone of us use on a regular basis. "Ill do it tomorrow" "ill say it tomorrow" ill see you tomorrow" . But for some of us tomorrow never comes. And i sit here thinking did i ever tell him how much i appreciate him. Or how much i value our friendship. Did i ever tell him that i missed him when he wasnt around? I wanted to. But i told myself ill do it later tomorrow perhaps. Well his tomorrow never came. So now im sitting here thinking if i had just 5 more minutes with him i could tell him everything. But i dont have 5 more minutes. So now im beating myself up hoping he knew what would have taken only 5 minutes to say😔

And the worst part is... I let myself down. I gave up on me. I got lost in the misunderstanding of what love should be. I fought for nothing but lies. When all i had to do was be honest with myself. As i mended the broken pieces of us i never took the time to fix the broken pieces of me. I ignored my thoughts. I neglected my own feelings. In turn it was our love that suffered. I lost myself piece by broken piece. I never realized all those pieces are what made me me.
                                Jme
                            ­      Love
                                      🖤

Well 5 missed calls.
Must be the 4 concrete walls.
Inside of a box in a box.
I know your bored.
You never thought of me this much before.
I know its hard and you are going through it.
I do my best
But you dont always believe it. You always think im doing wrong. When its you thats been gone so long. 5 missed calls now. Lets see what happens when you get out.

I was going to do it
Take that handful of pills
But something stopped me
Maybe it was a dream
It couldnt have been more real

I was going to do it
Pull the trigger in the car that night
But something stopped me
Everything went wrong
It couldnt have been more right

I was going to do it
Put that rope around my neck
But something stopped me
I thought the timing was perfect but
Life said you want to bet?

He loves me
He loves me not

The rose is dead
All the petals have been plucked

Careless with love
Just as with the rose
Its no surprise it whithered and died
It was picked
Plucked
Thrown to the ground

As for the rose tho....
Well you know how the story goes

He loves me
He loves me not

5 days.
Wondering if i should cave
But if he loves me?....
maybe hes thinking the same way

Idk what to do
My heart
My mind
Going back and forth
Im beside myself
But if he loves me?...
Maybe hes thinking the same way

I dont want to do this. Not with you. Not with anybody realy. But especially not with you. What is it you said before "I can do bad on my own". Well words of the wise i suppose. Funny thing is i was doing ok solo. I didnt ask for any of this. I sure as hell didnt "sign up" for it. "Its all good". Is what i would love to say. Shrug it off and carry on with my day. We both know tho From your past and mine that this wont get any better. This wont be the last time. You knew what i meant and you lied anyway. You cant leave her alone. You cant walk away.  In there its just a song everyday. But when your free she will be a phone call away. You already know im right. So just save the fight. If i go right now i can do it with my head held high. Because why wait when we already know im "****** for life"

Their lips touch
Creating a spark
Igniting the flame
Burning deep within
The ultimate sin
Fires burn
Losing control
Flesh on flesh
Lighting the soul
Flames dance
Intertwine
Connecting
In rhythm
Fueling the fire
Little ***** of gasoline
Exploding at the perfect time
Opening hells gates
The fire escapes
Flames light the midnight sky
Lighting a cigarette
The fire slowly dies

Its 3:33 im sitting here alone. Wondering if you are dreaming of me.
Maybe if your awake you noticed the time.
If so i hope its me that crossed your mind.
This time seems to pass so slow.
These numbers on the clock still glow. 3:33
Not a minute has passed since i missed you last.
With every minute gone gets me further from the past.
The future seems to take its time and the present well i open my eyes.
3:33.
Not a moment has passed.

Im fine tho. Everything is ok. Somebody. Anybody. Please catch me. Im falling. I fear my landing will not be pretty. So please somebody anybody reach out and catch me. Throw me a rope. Throw out a net. Anything. Something. Somebody. Anybody. Please can you hear me? Can you feel me? Are my screams falling on deaf ears? Are my words lying before blind eyes? I wont survive. Please i beg somebody. anybody. Im falling backwards into ways i fought so hard to escape. Falling back into habits I fought so hard to break. Scars revealing wounds that never heal. Please somebody? anybody? catch me before its to late. Im fine tho. Everything is ok.

Eyes can be deceiving
In recieving that which we do not wish to see. Optical illusion creates a delusion of something more pleasing. Blinded to pain and misery. Its calculated in the sensory. Knowing this vision isnt seen through rose colored glasses we make believe. Looking only at the beauty past the ugly. We camouflage the eyesores. Blinking just once to change the perspective of all things in sight. We hide behind closed eyes to avoid the view of the world as it is. We overlook just so we dont have to see. Its only when we realy look do we find the truth hidden behind blue eyes.

Manipulating, maneuvering, DarrylWade; he so kool&he, chills in the shade like willow trees. a field o'dreams, or inspirations just build it son,be dedicated, no wastefull thinking,or contemplating, to accomplish goals , u must have patience. Strive for it! U can do it, if u see it, then choose it, if its in ur grasps, grab at it, keep tha pursuit and determination will be ur success ; never the less even if ur not in first place u ahead of the rest. Head on swivle& ya mind in check. Resiliantly vigilant. Unpredictable& achieved, all cause u believed. I can & i will.

That is all

Witty at word play
Some might say
Some tho may not know
What lies between the lines
Something clever tends to hide
When asked
"Did you make it by nine?"
My response
" I made it right on time"

Falling away

The edges crack
They break

Slipping through
Losing all we held onto

Fighting
Sinking

Trying to swim

Deeper and deeper

A battle within

Fearing death
After a life of sin

An unforgiving goodbye

THE END

Left for good
Bad is right
Living a one way life
Wishing to end
This life of sin

~
      In the end one then begins to right the wrongs; from insight ,with what we write in songs. a night alone,beside urself in a fight for gold  frigid& cold feelin naked & ****** bruised bleedin all because wireless network pending payment delayed and and my messages not sending nor recieving and in traffic but with my 4 bad habits safe to include i forgot if it was right ? Maybe left?

For good
If only we knew
Our way of life
If only we knew
The struggle
The fight left inside
Wrong is wrong
Right is right

Have you ever wondered who you are???
The real you???
Not what you think you are.
Not what others think of you.
But who you realy are???
Not the you thats defined by your actions.
Not the you you think or feel the need to be.
Not the you you portray to the world.
The you inside that nobdy knows???
The you your afraid to show???
Do you ever wonder who that person realy is???

Not bent
Not bruised
Broken
Together one minute
Shattered the next
Like a mirror
Showing a perfect reflection
It cracks
It breaks
Distortion is all i see
Or maybe its just the real me
Not bended
Not bruised
But broken.

Im no stranger to this. Submitting a poem hoping to join. Clearing my mind one word at a time. On this keyboard i type. In my journal i write. A note here or there on a napkin square. Never revealing how i truely feel. Never knowing whats fake and whats real. Checking my email hoping im accepted although its not expected. Thank you for your time if it was in fact yours. If not thank you algorithm and the info you store.