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Dec 2016 · 452
Untitled
Destiny Fleming Dec 2016
I'm still waiting for the night
when your face isn't the skeletal
structure holding my entire being up


and your smile isn't the blood
flowing through my veins
keeping this ******* body of mine
functioning


the one night


when I'll be fine and the
realization that the throb
of missing you isn't fused
into my heart forever


but tonight is not that night


and i lay w a i t i n g
-DDF
Sep 2016 · 404
Fragile. Care.
Destiny Fleming Sep 2016
i lie here, your deep breathing
tickling tiny wisps of my hair

the cracked ceiling tiles have
never looked so interesting

somehow, your warm body cocooned itself
around mine last night
and i can't bring myself to untangle
your limbs from mine

you're a box labeled: “FRAGILE.
HANDLE WITH CARE.”

and one thought flutters forward:
“oh, honey,
how no one handled you with care.”

my fingers trace “fragile” on your exposed skin,
as i count -one,two- the cracks
in the ceiling.
-DDF
Aug 2016 · 442
Swimming While Drowning
Destiny Fleming Aug 2016
it's funny how i watched you walk
away, eyes holding the floor as if
the secrets of the universe were
hidden in the cracked eggshell
tiles

and i know about how you looked back,
eyes starving and finding my face,
appetite then satisfied
and trust me,
i know about how your cheeks took
on the color of roses and you turned
away, pushing our memories even further
from the two of us.

i know all of this because my eyes
held your body captive in the clear blue
of them,
drowning you in so many tidal waves,
even as I longed to be your life vest. -DDF
Destiny Fleming Jun 2016
“you should probably go,”
I know, what an innocent, simple request

but no matter the innocence, it
starts a quake in my bones, a trembling
that shakes continents from my veins,
and rips loose whole cities from their
foundations nestled in between my knuckles  

i’m sorry. i know how hard it must be to
deal with my arms wrapping themselves
around you, boa constrictors after prey,
and pulling you ever so close, close enough
to feel your pulse beat against mine

to feel the quickening of my own heart,
knowing that now i must leave, leave and
put up a fight with the empty storage that is
my bed

i cannot begin to tell you how many times i have
fought the crippling loneliness that lays between
my sheets, an unwanted lover, and have portrayed
the abuse of a lost battle

too many times i have lied down to show
my surrender, and too many times i have
been beaten while doing so

you see, loneliness was never a fair contender
never a fair person to begin with, matter of factly
and when i say i’m undeniably sorry for my arms
holding you too close,
know,
i mean it. -DDF
May 2016 · 363
Laughing Hatter
Destiny Fleming May 2016
(This is how i let go)
the best feeling in the
human body is when
your lungs push out
laughter that has long
been blocked by ruthless
words thrown around as if
they were nothing more than
raindrops when they were actually
grenades
and your smile is finally genuine
and crinkles your eyes,
the same eyes that spent too many hours
swollen from constant pain

but the absolute best feeling
in the
human body is when
your mind loosens it's
grip on the crazy notion
that you needed him to survive,
you needed him almost as if
you were an addict.

but rehab has made an angel out of
you and your body yet.
and how happy i am and will
continue to be now that you
have dropped the needle
you once used to inject him
into your veins.

(Help was never as far as we thought,
was it?)
-DDF
******* going through some tough ****. Dying here.
Destiny Fleming Apr 2016
your finger tips trace novels
along my spine

your lips bury themselves
within my hair,
chapters following each strand

your whole being turns
my sorry excuse of an
existence into a New York
Times best seller

maybe one day I'll stop getting
our limbs so confused on
whose is whose
and actually climb out of
bed and show the world i am
what you made me out to be.

but for now,
I’m content in the sanctuary of
your arms,
our pulses struggling to
decipher if mine is yours,
and if your’s is mine.  -DDF
Mar 2016 · 426
Nirvana
Destiny Fleming Mar 2016
when I close my eyes
I find simplistic nirvana
in remembering
the way his face shapes
as if it was molded with an effort
so meaningful that the artist
wanted to share it with the world

and to think that I was once
his version of a world that
needed a masterpiece added
to its gallery
-DDF
Mar 2016 · 734
Cigarettes
Destiny Fleming Mar 2016
I light a cigarette and cross my legs, eyes boring into his neck where a midnight shade of purple resides, just below where I once kissed.
A new smell of feminine wishes hangs in the air between us. And I know now, you can ****** someone without the use of any weapons. Death comes easy with even the most subtle breaking of a heart. -DDF
I entered a poetry contest. Wish me luck
Feb 2016 · 727
Eye Sockets
Destiny Fleming Feb 2016
that boy hasn't been
sober for days

and i can't help but
wonder
if it was my own
selfishness that
turned him into
such a useless fray
-DDF
Destiny Fleming Feb 2016
i will kiss each one
of your knuckles
just to remind you that
pain and love go hand
in hand

but
oh
how we punish ourselves
with both poisons

and i cannot tell if it's
you or i that brings us
back to this repetitive idea
that love will kiss our
scars and wipe at our
tears with hands equal
to that of
satin bows found
in sewing boxes

but **** did you love
how satin shimmered
-DDF
Feb 2016 · 394
Stardust
Destiny Fleming Feb 2016
stardust builds a home
for its particles in almost
everything
but i think more than
a few particles found you

it's uncanny the way
you mimic a star’s behavior

you shine your brightest
right before i lose you

though i want
nothing more than
to help
you're far away

distant from the others
who only admire stars
but never enough to
become one like you

and i can't help but
wonder who tore you
from your throne and
tethered your helpless
soul to a place
that could never be home
-DDF
Jan 2016 · 902
Destroying
Destiny Fleming Jan 2016
.surviving is being
.destroyed and finding
.a way to rebuild yourself
.with your own two hands
.while others watch
-DDF
Jan 2016 · 751
Once a Writer ....
Destiny Fleming Jan 2016
.Once a writer
.has released poetry
.within your veins

.you will forever
.be beautiful
-DDF
Jan 2016 · 1.1k
The Entire Me
Destiny Fleming Jan 2016
it tears me apart
knowing that you will
never be able to have me
as I was

the innocent child running
her hands along off-white
walls
seeking Something she had yet
to find

the me before that Something
had found

the me that wouldn’t flinch
when a hand reached to
caress my skin

the me who looked
Something in the face
before it had bruised
all of her

the whole me
the me as I was

not this broken me
-DDF
Jan 2016 · 352
Sinew Song
Destiny Fleming Jan 2016
I will lie awake every night
imagining each one of your
muscles dancing under
your moonlit skin

just longing to run my
fingertips over each bone
pushing against your shell

because in your slumber
the innocence you've so long
hid
finds an escape route and
plants itself upon your
porcelain face

and I want to be the one
to greet it with the softness
of rose-petaled lips
-DDF
Jan 2016 · 815
Gone Awry
Destiny Fleming Jan 2016
if my mother would
have told me
that happiness was
equivalent to the
fragility of a vinyl

…. I would have
threw my happiness
back in her face.

-DDF
Welllllllll.
Jan 2016 · 561
Occupational Hazard
Destiny Fleming Jan 2016
miniscule cracks
lining the ceiling of your bedroom
chart out the abuse of
occupants who took
for granted the
memories spilling over
molded window sills  

but the cracks lining
each chamber of my
heart
chart out the abuse
of you

an occupant who was
far too familiar
with the way this
house twists and turns

even when vacancy
was no longer a
grungy sign swinging
from rusted chains

but a cry for help
-DDF
We can be beautiful.
Destiny Fleming Jan 2016
CBW: Broken nails claw hollow eyes,
Lifeless breath gasps slow demise,
Stifled are my solemn cries,
Forever failed, my many tries
To work my way out of this rut, this godforsaken hole, but like dust upon rock bottom are the fragments of my soul.
The pent up pressure, the murky waters of creative flow,
Now soaks the floors like poisoned blood,
A concentrated woe.
Alas, the shadows,
my sunken home,
It's where I'm told I should belong,
And you expect a simple answer when you ask me what is wrong..

DDF: To expect a simple answer
when I ask,
"What is wrong?"
is an accusation burning in rhythm
of songs
For I know depression can be
miles long

Show me the enemy you've
fought for too long
depression
I know is strong

Show me what I can
do just to keep you

Show me the empty shell
you have stuffed yourself
into
For I promise I can mend you

Show me the animal chained
inside of you
Because I have one too

Show me the late night screams
For I can see your sadness ripping
at happiness' seams

Don't be afraid to show
me all of you

Let me help you build upon
this sadness that has consumed
all intentions of something
new

Together who knows what we could
do?

CBW: A crack in the ceiling, exposing a light?
A call from the heavens to let me know it's alright?
This twang on my heartstring,
Resonates deep inside,
Yet, why does the strummer think her good side should hide?
Her music consumed
what once writhed in the shade,
The musical beauty was who my demons obeyed,
Yet my demons are different from the ones some portrayed,
But you can easily soothe them, if only you played.
Although the music is for me, it's played for another,
You're stuck in a sort of limbo for a lover,
And it's hard to hear from rock bottom, to the top of your tower,
The music is faint unless you give it more power.
I'll be here, filling this rut with my tears, wishing that your music could reach my ears.

DDF: I watch you struggle
trying, trying
to pull yourself from the
bottom

I look down in despair
for I know this in itself
is not fair

A god I would never bring myself
to bow to
whispers of redemption in single-
minded tongue
catching my attention

My mouth opens without a warning
spewing out prayers from night until
morning

This is not music, my dear
these are my words laced with
your fear
My friend and I wrote this together. CBW is him.
Jan 2016 · 1.2k
Destruction
Destiny Fleming Jan 2016
She had yet to realize
that the destruction
swimming in her veins
would form

continents along her skin

oceans in her eyes

a world in her heart

just to crumble the creations
when her love
reached out for
a taste

-DDF
"Destruction is a form of creativity." -Donnie Darko
Dec 2015 · 3.5k
Five Sense Sex
Destiny Fleming Dec 2015
When I lean into
you

my God

how my nostrils quiver

for the smell of
you is
so human
-DDF
In a world where humanity is lost.
Dec 2015 · 1.1k
One Night Love
Destiny Fleming Dec 2015
I want to feel
the clink of your
teeth against mine
when your kisses
were too rough
for my rose-petaled lips

I want your fingertips
to trace the scars lining
my thigh while your
mouth explores the
terrain I myself
have yet to cultivate

I want you to find happiness
in the intimate crevices
of my body
that have yet to
hear the words:
“You’re beautiful.”
muttered and caught in
them for safe-keeping

I want this moment

here

forever

to attach itself to
my being so I can
at least remember
you at your most
vulnerable

and not when you
vanish into the
gray dawn that always
held ghosts for me -DDF
Dec 2015 · 484
Religious Sacraments
Destiny Fleming Dec 2015
You’ll try to save her
but
saviors are only

knelt to

prayed to

given to

and dear
self-control was a
religion she did not practice
-DDF
Dec 2015 · 425
Streetlight
Destiny Fleming Dec 2015
“I’m tired,”
but
her eyes fell to her
feet and her weariness
was not found scrambling
across the floor

“I’m not hungry,”
but
her stomach screamed
at the mere idea of
a tangible item perching
within it

“I just don’t feel good,”
but
her mind was jumbled
into a trainwreck
while the survivors
continuously terminated
themselves instead of
living with the guilt
of breathing

“I’m fine,”
but
the streetlight in her
eyes has long winked
out
sending the whole block
into lonely midnight

and
she'll let her body become a
grave site for the lost memories
of happiness that
used to perch along her veins

-DDF
Destiny Fleming Dec 2015
I’m told that I am too young
to feel the world…

Yet,
I feel every year weighing
down my bones
forcing every archaeologist to second guess
the being they have extricated
from the Earth’s
most intimate parts

every month holding
my head under salt water
screaming in my face:
“Swim!”

every week scratching
at my skin
digging nails deep into
the flesh of my body

every day
kicking my ribs inwards
pleading for them to stab
deep into the things
they have worked
so hard to protect inside of me

every hour asking for me
to give up, give it all up

every minute digging into
my being, my existence
asking for the happiness
I have so long
perfected

every second wonders
why I am
so strong

But the clock has
yet to invert the life
it so painstakingly made
but has realized
the omission in
-DDF
Sorry, writer's block
Dec 2015 · 349
Harmonize
Destiny Fleming Dec 2015
happiness was a
concept we both had yet
to understand
and our rebellious
minds grasped
each other for a hope
to reach it

I remember just
you
everyday reaching
for my fingers
digging deep into
my psyche
asking for attention
and
I remember thinking:
this
this is love

But love was
another word for lust
back then
and we’ve yet
to kiss again

-DDF
I have writer's block :( I'm sorry this *****
Destiny Fleming Dec 2015
Dear Future Lover, this is an explanation as to why you’ll never be good enough:

Hours of holding her were trapped inside of my brain like prisoners of war. Her eyes held mine even after I found her, broken and bruised on the New York concrete, between the two apartment buildings. The lurking of depression was ever present in her veins, her eyes, her hands. Every night I whispered into the darkness,
“****, Lettie. I miss you.”
Even after months had pulled across the void. We never did believe in God, especially her. My Lettie. She was opinionated fire, and I was the silent ice to her heat. But after she had distinguished herself, I was the one left melting alone. Lettie had never bothered to even tell me goodbye, but I knew she wouldn’t have; she loved being her own mystery and no matter how much I had hated it; she had left her answers behind for me to find. All of our memories were bundled up inside of me to behold alone; I had years of lone nights under my belt, but none of those could come close to losing Lettie and holding her memories within me. You may be asking why she did what she did, and I don’t think anyone will ever have the answer. Not even me, her last words carrier. I’d like to think that she didn’t mean to do it; Yeah, I’m pathetic, I’d like to think that my best friend accidentally died. But Lettie had a death wish, and despite worrying, I had let her flirt with the idea of it. Lettie had hidden her depression from everyone but me, and I had wrapped it up with a bow and presented it back to her, a look of worry on my face. But I did nothing. I watched her battle, her death was inevitable, but that was because of me.

I remember holding her, Lettie, and her whispering into my neck: “I’m trapped, you know. But you’re here. That’s all I need.” This was on one of her bad days, and she had spent it with me, curled into my body as we sat in my old truck. This was the first time she had kissed me, my Lettie. I had known her for years, and I was always here when she needed to throw her words at someone who cared. But that day had been so different, Lettie had leaned in too close, and she brushed her lips against mine in the softest of kisses. I looked into her eyes then, and I knew my Lettie was gone. The old Lettie, the one who had showed me happiness, wine, and her mother’s cigarettes at age 15. Lettie was my only friend, and I had vowed to keep her mine until she had died. But at the time, I hadn’t known that would have been so soon. That day was the day I knew Lettie was crumbling into nothingness, and she was too far gone for me to glue her together once more. The first day I had felt her lips on mine, and I had felt her beauty radiate through me; Lettie, my Lettie, was leaving me too soon.

I remember her first spiral downwards. Her boyfriend, Tom, was the cause of the fall. Despite hurting every time I saw them together, I supported her decisions to be with him; he was everything I would never be. But when Lettie had ran, screaming, into my room one night, I knew I should have saved her(my first mistake). I had held her while her tears soaked into my clothes, my heart, my being.
“Lettie, Lettie, Lettie…” was all I could think to say as she screamed into my shoulder.
“He cheated, that *******! I saw him, and he looked me in the face and told me, “You’re psychotic.” after I punched him in the mouth!” she screeched louder, and I flinched.
“Lettie, please stop. You’re okay, I’m here. I won’t leave, I promise.” and she grasped onto me and squeezed. This was the first time Lettie had fallen apart, and I had fixed her with ease, but that was only the first.

Lettie was more than a friend to me. Lettie was me, all of me, my existence, my being; Lettie was literal life for me. I never thought I could love her anymore than I had when she kissed me, but the first time we made love had changed my thoughts completely. Yes, my best friend and I, we had made love. My first, surely not her’s.

You see, Lettie had a reputation for sleeping with the guys throughout our school. Don’t assume her a *****, she was broken beyond repair. She only wanted someone to hold her in her raw beauty, to whisper how beautiful she was in her nest of tangled hair, to feel skin on skin in the morning light. Lettie had searched for far too long, but had never found that. Until us happened.

It was in my truck, perched upon a hill over-looking the town’s cemetery, which was Lettie’s favorite spot. She had leaned into me, her breath filling my nostrils, and I turned. The thoughts in my mind revolved around one word: mine. Lettie was mine. I pressed my lips into hers, and a small sigh equal to that of a bird’s wings escaped her mouth and landed in mine. My hands were entangled in her hair and before long, we were skin to skin. I didn’t let her go, and we lay intertwined like yarn for hours after. I whispered the love I held within myself for her into her neck, and she let tears build maps along her skin. My Lettie, why did you search for so long when I was right in front of you?

I should have known that nothing is forever. But I didn’t expect my “nothing” to end so quickly. The day after we made love, the day after I confessed in Lettie’s sweat filled hair: “I love you”, the day after I held Lettie in my arms and let her cry the world out into my shoulder, was when I found Lettie in between apartment buildings, her limbs at odd angles. I remember Lettie telling me she was always cold, but when I tried to cover her, she would push away and cry. I now know that she meant her emotions were cold, her heart, her eyes. The greed of society had collected Lettie and dispersed her throughout registers in old gas stations. Lettie, my Lettie, had ran for far too long. Her lungs were damaged and decayed, every breath she took was cheating the Grim Reaper. Lettie, my Lettie, had died without me. Lettie, my Lettie, had looked through my heart even when her soul no longer frequented her eyes while she was crumpled on the New York concrete. Lettie, my Lettie, had made love to my soul, just to tear her’s away. I lost myself along with her. I’m a living, breathing shell of the hollow heart I carry within me. I don’t think you’ll ever understand me…. I don’t think you’ll ever look into my eyes and see the real me, the one Lettie took with her.

…. And I know, I know, you’ll look into my face and say,
“Asher, I love you.” and I will not be able to begin to tell you how you’ll never have her smell, her eyes, her heart, her soul. You’ll never know the spot when we first found ourselves in my beat up truck on the hill over-looking the town’s cemetery. You’ll never hear the little snort in her laugh when she gets too excited. You’ll never replay that small sigh in your head every ******* night while your mind reels and your sobs rip your throat apart.

“Asher, I love you.”
And I’ll never be able to explain why you’ll never be good enough.
This was a creative writing assignment. I picked the song "One Headlight" by the Wallflowers to make a story out of. :) Very proud of this.
Dec 2015 · 932
Hell in Large Torrents
Destiny Fleming Dec 2015
All she wanted
was for someone to
long for her lips
like a nicotine addiction

to tell her that
her beauty was not
cordial enough
to plaster itself
on the outside of
her skin
but instead it
reserved itself
to be found within

to look her in
the face and
tell her that her
eyes held the
ocean's tranquility
before a hurricane

Because that's what
she was:

A ******* hurricane

-DDF
Destiny Fleming Dec 2015
I want you
to find your
childhood happiness hidden
in my protruding
hip
to remember your
mother’s laughter
laced within my
ribs
to see your
brother’s face
one more time
inside the
crook of my elbow

I want you to
find the
beauty hidden within
my bones
and
extract it for me
piece by piece
because I
have yet to
see it's presence


Please, love
Just make me beautiful
-DDF
Destiny Fleming Dec 2015
I remember the
warm breath on my
neck when you
first muttered
“I love you”

It had been
a contradiction
to the cold air
that filled the
empty space of
my existence
when you slammed
the door
(your final goodbye)

-DDF
Destiny Fleming Dec 2015
They don’t remember
her

Well, she got burnt out
in a hotel and lost
herself

Now,
you can’t make anything
out of
her.

-DDF
Dec 2015 · 1.3k
Pangea Plunge
Destiny Fleming Dec 2015
I watched her crumble into
my hands like
the Earth’s crust

her death wish
had become a mass
I could no longer break apart

this Pangea of emotion
that I couldn’t save her from
was on our minds every
waking moment

She was swimming in a puddle
but to her it was the Atlantic
and
the continents were holding her
under

But
any archaeologist
who tried to extract
this skeleton
from the dust of
her mind was
indeed
foolish
-DDF
Nov 2015 · 1.1k
For Cliff
Destiny Fleming Nov 2015
The notion that he could
not be fixed was held over
his head like an
abyss
and
I could not fathom why
in the **** no one
pulled him from
his own thoughts,
he was drowning,
couldn't you tell?

That boys eyes held
the words
“save me”
in every native tongue

The impending death of hope
was
a familiar song in his bones
and
I wanted to be the one
to excavate it from
the marrow of his existence

Everything about this
boy was synchronized
beauty;
right down to his
very name,

a ledge that he had
been dancing on for
far too long. -DDF
Destiny Fleming Nov 2015
“I love you.”

Yet,
You do not know
the idea of pills in
unknown bottles
Or the blade
waiting for the whisper
of crimson
nor
The hopelessness and
abandonment of a God
your stomach can
no longer swallow

You do not know
the stale hours
of quiet sanctuary
I took within the
night
to grasp why my
thoughts always ran
to oblivion
Nor
when I was so close
to making Death
my
murderer

I have never
told you any of
this,
baby.

Because
a problem
is still a problem,
and you've always
told me,
“I'm a problem solver.”
but I know
this is one without
a solution.
-DDF
(I'm proud of this)
Nov 2015 · 1.0k
Atlantis
Destiny Fleming Nov 2015
This map shapes around streets,
cities, and boulevards
Tiny crevices, corners, and
unknown places I have yet to explore
Curves that sharpen themselves
just to mellow out

I can trace each line to find where
I am wanted

This map has ribs
has eyes
has bones
has spine

This map I explore with childish
vigor

This map has been used and torn
but beauty prints itself upon
parched paper

The eyes hold boulevards of love
The knots of spine hold cities
around the thin ligaments
The bones hold streets in every marrow
despite being worn down and rugged

This map I tell:
“I love you.”
When tragedy strikes in stale hours
of night

This map I hold
When happiness is just too far too grasp

I can read this map while others
squint eyes to see it’s perfect but faded
structure

Yet, I’ve never grown old of the minuscule
rips and faded print of her.

-DDF
Nov 2015 · 647
The City Of Love (Paris)
Destiny Fleming Nov 2015
To the men who terrorized my innocence,

The screams that night still plague me, they haunt my midnight hours when I
beg for sleep to take its hold on me.
I remember holding her hand.

the girl I loved.

But, to you, she was just another person in the crowd…
Another victim.
To me, she was honey and roses on a summer morning; she was
the one to save me when I mixed too much Hell with Heaven.
I repaid her with the last few kisses I could muster while her tears intermingled
with our blood.

Just a few hours ago, she was smiling up at me in delight; arms wrapped around my waist
as the music played behind our enclosed bodies.

I held her like this until the bullet ripped her life away from this Earth.

An Earth without her,
It wasn’t someplace I wanted to be.
But I held onto the tidbit of life dancing in front of me;
the one that you had injured but had not stolen.
I couldn’t quite tell which set of crimson belonged to I;
the puddles were drowning all of us.
Which screams were mine?
I’ll never remember and I don’t think I’ll care to;
they all mixed into one loud wail as we fought to grip
the idea of hope.

Trust me,
my lungs were filling with so much hopelessness that
I couldn’t quite remember how to breathe without it within those moments
where I begged for God to take me with her.

But you.
Did you take delight in destroying us?
Her, I, and the others?
I had felt someone grasp my hand right after her’s had fallen away;

You know,
they must have felt me give up. because I knew
It was an encouragement to keep myself breathing;
to keep my lungs from restricting and my soul from rising.

I couldn’t quite tell you how long I thought you were there;
to me,
it felt like years.
I can’t imagine how long it felt for those people who were lined up in front of you
waiting for God to show his face in any form possible.  

The ones who stared down at your guns;
who pleaded for you to rethink your decisions
who had children at home,
who had spouses waiting for their smiles,
who had… families.

Those shots will forever be burned within my memory;
This night,
this horror,
this loss.

But will you wake up screaming,
wondering how you could have saved her?

Will you see their faces in every little corner of the street;
in every thought?

Will you relive the memory of how her hand felt pressed into yours,
right before you lost her?

Will you thank God for that one man who tightened his grip
on your fingers, keeping your mind here,
keeping you alive?

Will you trace the line of stitches along your body,
where the bullets had made a home within your skin?

Will you pray to God that this was only a nightmare,
just to hear Satan laugh in your ears?*

-DDF
Nov 2015 · 419
Human Hybrid
Destiny Fleming Nov 2015
I don't belong in his world
nor he in mine

The tidal waves that
push against us are beginning
to drown me

I've tried so hard to
remember how to swim

But my lungs can only
hold their life for so
long
before the promise
of breathing easier becomes
a reality

He stands in front of me
watching the water torment
my body

He could reach out and save
me

But he watches as our
worlds break apart
without even a backward
glance

Maybe he meant more
to me than I to him

I wish I would have
knew that before I
took him in as
mine to mend

-*DDF
Nov 2015 · 956
Warfare
Destiny Fleming Nov 2015
To the girl who loves my brother,*

When you look at him, see his wide
eyes as not an invitation, but as an endless
cavern of innocence.
Look at my brother with respect,
as he survived his entire life growing up
with women.
Yes, he was taken in because his parents
no longer wanted the burden of a child
who was believed to be a mistake.
Look at my brother with pride,
because every night he heard me cry,
he whispered into the shadows,
“Are you okay?” To which my
reply was always, “I'm fine. Just sick.”
He listened to me blast my ears with
music to block out the world, and *******
it, he would pull one out just to say:
“Hey, you're going to lose your hearing.”
which was his way of saying,
“I'm worried about you.”
Don't you hurt my brother, as I've said
before, he was raised by she-wolves who
not only built a home, but arose from
nothing.
My brother was a burden I did not want
to bear growing up.
Now, I see his eyes are filled with
life, and his voice is deeper than an abyss.
My little brother who is not so little
anymore.
My little brother who I completely
destroyed when I told a whole bus filled
with kids: “He's adopted.”
I regretted it as his eyes clouded over, and
at such a young age, he knew this was a
bad thing.
Love my little brother for his quirky
comments, love him because I didn't
love him enough.
Love him on his weakest days,
love him when he's crying into
your pillows.
Love him because as I paved a path
for him to follow, he got himself
lost in the woods.
Lead him back to me, please.
Love my little brother as he was denied
this.
-DDF
(I don't usually write about my life or anything... I gave it a shot )
Nov 2015 · 702
Black Out
Destiny Fleming Nov 2015
I remember the innocence of my childhood
happiness.

It was before bracelets were used
for more than just fashion…
before they were used to hide jagged cuts

The days when I only cried for my
scraped skin.

Now I cry for heartbreak and the loss
of more than just happiness.

The days where pills were only taken
to make “the hurt go away”.

Now they’re taken to make me go away.

The days where Root Beer was the only
“alcohol” I drank.

Now I drink shots of hopelessness
in small glasses of heartbreak

The days where the only kisses I asked for
were before I drifted off to sleep.

Now I beg for kisses in midnight hours
where the only love I receive is the kind
where the sheets are terrorized.

The days where candied cigarettes were my
way of being an adult.

Now cigarettes are the way of keeping
me sane.

“Look, mommy, look. I’ve grew
an inch!”

Now I’m growing without you.

Gone are the days where I felt your kisses
planted upon wet cheeks,
The days where I beg for your love, mommy.

I beg for love in the form of moaning,
bed springs creaking;
where sweat caked into my pores.

The days where my life meant something to
someone.

If I died now, who would cry for me?

The days where happiness grew on trees,
and you showed me how to grasp them with
dirt-covered palms.

Look, mommy. I’ve grew an inch.

An inch closer to the bullet
awaiting in it’s home.

-DDF
Nov 2015 · 450
Descent
Destiny Fleming Nov 2015
Is it possible for me to love
someone when I can't
seem to grasp the
concept of loving myself?

But you.
Oh, you.
You make me wanna
love myself;
love every
curve of my bones
every scar
every raised mark.

You make me beautiful.
So beautiful.

But it's not enough for me.

I shed old dreams in the form
of traveling lies
pouring into a porcelain bowl.

I see bones carve themselves
from the shell of skin
that claimed itself as mine.

The eyes pry at my demise;
However, I cannot hide.
Believe me, I've tried.

I just want to be what
you want.
What you need.

Unrelenting midnight hours
have pushed me to empty
more lies than normal,
All I see is what you ask
of me.
My stomach is a cemetery
for you;
No matter how many times
I greet your casket;
you find your way home.

I just hope I find a way
to tell you…
This house is not a home.
-DDF
Destiny Fleming Nov 2015
I am a man.

Society has weighed itself
upon my shoulders.

I can do
no wrong.


The waters rush over my ears;
I can drown myself in alcohol
to make up for the horrid years.

A man; could I really have been
created by God’s hands?
I truly find this impossible;
Forgive me, Father,
for I have sinned.
I let desire win.

I loved a Her.
But in the end, a voice
equal to a cat’s purr
and skin like fur are what
plagued my stale nights.

Her.

This equaled out
to be an atomic bomb
in my ruined mind.

The philistine hands
pulled me from waters;
just to hold me back under again.

The eyes that had
traveled along my body

the fingertips tracing
every bone of my existence

the laughter dancing
in tune with my subdued one

Her.

Forgive me,
Father, for I have sinned.
I let her lust pull me in. -DDF
Oct 2015 · 435
A Writer's Relationship
Destiny Fleming Oct 2015
Dear You,*

Your eyes hold the
stanzas of a late-night guilty pleasure.

The voice of you wrenches words
and inaugurates ink
to blue-lined paper.  

The smell of Sunday mornings
on the sheets elicits
pages of verses
I myself
could not behold alone.  

The imperfections of an unsound
life upon your body
make for melodic rhythms.

The curve of your
existence can stab
letters from a desolated mind
I call my own.

The refrain of life
hanging on your heart
reverberates ink stains
onto porcelain
skin
and
I must admit,
I think you’re in love with a writer.

*Sincerely,
Me
Oct 2015 · 346
Pluto Dust
Destiny Fleming Oct 2015
She was a supernova;
I trailed in her wake.
All along I thought
She needed me
And that was my
first mistake. *-DDF
I enjoy this so much but then again I hate it. It's a writer's relationship.
Oct 2015 · 967
The Ache of Tired Lungs
Destiny Fleming Oct 2015
The recollection of screaming and
tears breaks every wave of my
thoughts. The sheets remembered
the melody of you, and I can still
smell you dancing within in the air
of my desolated thoughts.


The screams had made a home inside of
my ears, and I brought them forward
everyday; I just wanted to remember
something of you.

Your tears.
Oh, God.
Your tears.
I drowned in them every night.
I never bothered to learn the
swim; I felt closer to you the
more I struggled to pull a
harrowing breathe from the lungs of
a being I did not recognize as myself.

I felt closer when meals turned into
a nightmare; when my bones stabbed
at my skin; threatening to push through
the shell of me.

I especially felt close when the metallic
barrel of my father’s gun whispered
sweet nothings; appealing demons I had
buried six feet under.

But even though I tried to feel so close
to you again,
I could not forgive the memories
within my mind for bringing
you home to me everyday. -DDF
Oct 2015 · 352
Cloud
Destiny Fleming Oct 2015
I don't know
what your love is.

Is it the words you slurred
while a bottle trembled
within your hand?

Did it make you feel
As if you were holding
the ideas of freedom?
But what God would
****** away the hope
nested inside of
my heart?
The hope I had to see you shine.

A God of heartbreak.
A God of loneliness.
A God who seeks revenge.

A God I watched you
pray to when happiness
made a home
inside of white capsules...
And you left me with
hopelessness. -DDF
Oct 2015 · 1.4k
Inward Martian
Destiny Fleming Oct 2015
He continued to gaze at the skies with alien experiences
And
He heard unprejudiced reception from
an
Unknown
World
-DDF
SO PROUD OF THISSSSSSS
Oct 2015 · 1.8k
Teenage Wasteland
Destiny Fleming Oct 2015
Two individuals …
One love.
A love for the works,
and the creations from a
society of censorship.

But what's to love here?

-DDF
Destiny Fleming Oct 2015
Run run run run run run.
Thoughts thoughts thoughts

Take me away.

Help help help help help

Wake up, wake me up.

Savesavesavesavesave me.

I’m drowning,
Aren’t I?

I’m dying*

God, I think I’m dying.

But I can still feel the blood in my veins,
The air in my lungs.

Remind yourself, Destiny,

“You are alive.”

But…I don’t think I am.

The scars on my wrists tell me a different story
than my heart.

I’m leaving, I need to go.
I need to find my home.

I need help. I need saved. I need happiness.

I NEED HELP. -DDF
GOD GOD GOD GOD GOD GOD.
Destiny Fleming Oct 2015
I will never have you.
The thought that hosts
my life,
even without a tip.

Maybe I should be content with myself,
But I know I can’t think of my life
without your smile rushing in.

Why can’t you be mine?
I know I should be happy with someone else;
but I can’t live a day without seeing your face.

Look at me, won’t you?
You’re mine. *Mine.

But… you’re not.

I want to feel your kiss.
the pressure of love on
my hips.

Can you put your arms around me?
Can you be mine?
I will never have you, will I?


Look. At. Me.

I'm a fool for you, and you can’t even see it.
You’re not happy with her, I know you.
I know she’s not what you want.

We grew up as one,
but have now since separated as two.

Oh ****,
I think I’m in love with you. -DDF
I was seriously rambling to myself. Like, I'm having such a hard time with this. I can't deal with myself right now, have mercy.
Oct 2015 · 328
Laughing With Satan
Destiny Fleming Oct 2015
Laughing With Satan

You wore the sun as if it were nothing but a necklace.

Is that why you could no longer sleep?

I could smell your stale dreams hanging off of your skin.

An unwanted aroma for any woman.

It was stars captured in a jar,
the smell of their rotting corpses.

They died with your regret drowning everyone of their breaths.

You couldn’t dream,
So you made them do it for you.


Lighter and lighter the dreams became,
until you could no longer see their bright flame.

But it wasn’t seeing dreams that bothered you, was it?

No, it was the thought of not seeing him inside of your
head anymore
. -DDF
Oct 2015 · 451
The Eyes of God
Destiny Fleming Oct 2015
It wasn’t your fault, I promise.
Well, maybe I cannot promise that.
It could have been your fault,
Actually, it was your fault.

I didn’t realize it until now.
You handed me that rope, didn’t you?
Yet, I tied the noose.
It’s not my fault…
It’s yours.
No, it cannot be.

Your words were the knives in my back.
But… I was the one who shoved them in.
It’s not my fault…
It’s yours.
No, it cannot be.

Your poignant silence was the fractures in my bones.
But… I was the one who allowed them to break.
It’s not my fault…
It’s yours.
No, it cannot be.

Tell me,
Can you ****** with just words?
Because you did. -DDF
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