"pooping" poems
this table in the
shade
these commune hippies
in the river
I wrote a poem
in my sleep
I looked at the mountains
and thought
rain
staccato
metronome
irrigation
and caps
melting
but enough of this
nature
let’s go back
to the concrete
mouth
where we walk
through the city
full of cake
bloated like
balloons
but rolling
because
cake doesn’t make
you float
no
cake only makes you
fat
the conversation turns
to the stench
there’s something dying
in the air
we leave
and roll joints
spot magnums
on tree branches
and think
only monkeys ****
in trees
and we would never
want to see
monkey ***
and ******
no
we’d never try it
and the homeless man next to us
puts his spoon
away
but god
why do we sleep
when we just wake up?
why do we sleep
to dream
such ********
things
where celebrities
feed us salami in
back alleyways
and we see our mother
pooping on
world maps?
time rips of
lyrical grass
conductive smile
soap bubbles
these beautiful
dreamtime mornings
spent thinking of you
in playhouse mountains
like a child
you smile
like a friend
I offer you my hand
and we walk
to the white
together
bill withers is there
he is singing
in his yellow
turtleneck
May 27, 2016
May 27, 2016 at 11:44 AM UTC
Denim and Icky Nicky pooping in a tree
p o o p i ng
Denim is 2 dumb 2 understand luvvvv
and icky Nicky is ugly as heck.
Denim wants to marry icky Nicky and have lots of ugly children.
Mar 6, 2014
Mar 6, 2014 at 11:02 AM UTC
Yesterday
America raised a rainbow banner.
I woke up today.
Facebook wasn't blue anymore.
Unicorns came pooping all over my friends faces.
Love wins.
Jun 27, 2015
Jun 27, 2015 at 9:02 PM UTC
Cars, are's, bars, git-are's, oov-are's, dars and mars
With these I can construct a rooping Flargnar. Cigars.
And without these I am too **** in the far. Pooping in the car.
Now can I find the Kragar? Or have a lost it in Nar?
Wigga foug under the dug like a big bug in the rain, its all the same.
What a doog? Got a Spoog? Butter up your hands and put them in the dands.
If ever should have shooken my loog, then up-chuck all the poog! What a gwoog! Me!
But who else could it have been! In the long run no one but we.
We cannot it be, it was the glove who fell in love with that dove!
Show me the rub! For we need it to subsub.
Hrug, Hrug, hrug magug! shrug off the flug, please doug do a love for the bitter twub!
In the end it doesn't matter, I had to fub to wub it dub!
Aug 16, 2011
Aug 16, 2011 at 11:52 PM UTC
I am relieved
No, I didn't
Relieve myself
(Meaning pooping, etc.)
I am relieved
Because something I worried was wrong
Somehow
Is actually embraced.
A weight has been lifted.
Aug 11, 2013
Aug 11, 2013 at 11:00 PM UTC
There's a thin line between obsession and love
Often hard to discern
Obsession sits in the bathroom while you ****
Love shoves a magazine under the door
Nov 15, 2017
Nov 15, 2017 at 8:36 AM UTC
Hello there little hemorrhoid.
Hanging from my ****
I really wish you'd go away,
'Cause you hurt like you know what.
At times you seem to disappear,
And then I have relief.
But when I go and take a dump,
You then return. "Good grief!"
You really make me feel,
Like I'm pooping broken glass.
Or something else that's jagged,
That I have to try and pass.
I don't want you to stay around,
My sphincter and I agree.
'Cause when I use the toilet paper,
It feels like bark from a tree!
I've used medicated pads
And even gooey cream.
But no matter what, you still return,
Like an awful, recurring dream!
From suppositories to cold packs
And using an air pillow.
There seems to be no relief
From you my little fellow.
I've heard that a specialist
Who braves that funky zone
Can remove you with a snip
But my wallet's empty and alone.
So I guess I am stuck with you
On my derriere
And with the pain I get from you
Causing me to swear!
Nov 26, 2012
Nov 26, 2012 at 5:30 PM UTC
Pooping makes me sad sometimes
Sometimes it hurts
Sometimes it takes a while
Sometimes though
When it’s over
It makes me smile
People make me sad sometimes
Sometimes they hurt
Sometimes they take a while
Sometimes though
For no good reason
They make me smile
Words make me sad sometimes
Sometimes they hurt
Sometimes they stutter for a while
Sometimes though
Their timing is perfect
And they make me smile
You make me sad sometimes
Sometimes you hurt
Sometimes your love takes a while
Sometimes though
Mostly when you’re not making me sad
You’re making me smile
Sep 20, 2011
Sep 20, 2011 at 5:16 AM UTC
One of you continues to ****
my head E-mailing from HP
covertly unprovoqued.
Your hateful angry senseless
defecated words
are your property not me.
"My roses aren't planted in your dark
nasty places for your misery and pain"
You aren't the center of my Universe
come out from your dark cloud
stop your pooping rain
on me find another victim.
Satan doesn't want you in hell
and God won't let you in
heaven.
~~~
By: karijinbba, 2020.
Feb 20, 2021
Feb 20, 2021 at 11:46 PM UTC
Bookends with fatty livers and bad backs
squinting at instructions
for another **** fool distraction
and the laughing, thankfully
On the walk, bees, butterflies,
catkin reminders of time and loops
and irregular pooping
as constants
Thankfully, laughing
requires just enough muscles
from those that still work,
but I’ll feel it tomorrow
Mar 26, 2022
Mar 26, 2022 at 9:23 AM UTC
such a treasure, and a chore! I have bought the local store
out of bleach, vinegar, baking soda, ***** and kibble.
A bother, yes, when I try
to walk to the bathroom or refrigerator
without being tripped up, and I shuffle along now,
I don't dare to lift my feet for fear of hearing a wounded
yelp. And bad breath, I thought the drunk begging a dollar for a small bottle who lives under the bridge when he asked, "spare a dollar, mister?", and my
eyebrows sizzled , had bad breath. These treasures breath smells like they eat and drink from a septic tank.
Let one whimper or get on their back legs begging me to pick his or her little sticky *** up, and I put it on my chest and watch her , or him, get all cozy listening to my heart beat, and it seems worth it.
Feb 3, 2016
Feb 3, 2016 at 8:16 PM UTC
If I were to die tonight
or tomorrow
or in the next 3 seconds…
…
…
…
I would want you by my side,
because there’s so much I would want to say
and so many ways to guide
about the world
and love
and about dreams that you should unfurl
wisdom, to dare to do things you never have
strength, so through everything, you remember to laugh,
hope, as the unfolding map
and love, to guide your every path
its a neverending list
a stockade
a wish,
of things I hope you know
of ways you can always grow
but if I had to choose
with my final breathe I’d say:
live your life
you’ve got everything to lose
everything to gain
and everything to choose.
So don’t waste your time
and make sure to let loose
and most important of all
sometimes I don’t wash my hands after pooping
Jun 10, 2013
Jun 10, 2013 at 7:28 PM UTC
Today I am angry.
I'm angry that the car is ***** from my sister's dog.
I'm angry that the cat threw up on my bed.
I'm angry that I wasted time taking the family dog to the groomers when it was the wrong day.
I'm angry that I'm tired
I'm angry to the point that I want to cry and grumble
I'm angry that these dogs are pooping and peeing in the house and making a mess and nothing feels clean.
I'm just so ******* ******* ******
At everything.
I'm angry that the water in the shower won't heat up.
I'm angry that whoever showered last left puddles on the floor.
I'm angry the sink keeps clogging.
Heck,
I'm angry that I woke up.
I'm angry at everything around me.
But I'm mostly angry at myself for allowing my anger to show
For letting it control me...
But it still burns viciously with an unquenchable hunger.
Apr 15, 2021
Apr 15, 2021 at 4:25 PM UTC
Parents are the weirdest - of God's creation.
I mean, who on Earth would desire the responsibility of another human being from the time they **** in their pants to the time they leave saying 'what have you ever done for me?' ?
Who would, of all the things in the world, like their homeroom stuffed with stupid CDs and stuffed racoons, waterguns and Legos, dried acrylics and miniature utensil sets, ugly pyjamas and strange half-knit sweaters?
I need to know why parents don't object to their kids pooping everywhere.
It's either the kids are super cute or the parents are super crazy.
I'm sure it isn't the former.
A certain lack of imaginative faculties, in parents, is evident to me,quite frankly.
Think of it this way- if it weren't for us - kids, our parents would have been carefree playboys and playgirls, and 'living their lives' - cliché.
What weirdos really!
Their standards of children's safety too possess a particular oddity.
It's only the exact moment of physical contact during a hug that our parents feel we're safe.
Their sense of economy and finance is oxymoronic.
They love discounts. But they'll pay extra for whatever their kids wish.
I wonder how they resist TV shows of most sorts just because they won't have their kids watch remotely explicit content, visual or auditory.
I bet their sense of direction is most unnaturally affected too.
Why do they even follow their kids, when they know kids don't have a working GPS?
Do you have any idea, to what lengths parents go to make veggies seem delicious?
Veggies, Really?
Parents will have you take disgusting syrups and painful **** injections,
And claim they love you.
Parents will have you hit the books,
And claim they love you.
Parents will ground you because you do something they don't like (but they too did it when they were kids),
And claim they love you.
Parents will stop you every time you say a swear word (but they swear all the time),
And claim they love you.
Parents will claim they love you,
Maybe, because they really love you.
Oh, their weirdness never ends.
Parents may seem eccentric,
Their ways might seem a bit too bizarre,
Maybe that's how the people who really love us behave!
Yet, we're always rushing away from them.
If you have ever traveled in a bus, you'll know how absurdly keen the passengers are, to get off, when it stops.
That's how keen the kids are, to leave the laps of their mothers, quite literally the most comfortable place in the world.
Parents really are - the weirdest of God's creation.
And the loveliest too.
Mar 12, 2019
Mar 12, 2019 at 1:31 PM UTC
you're so happy when I came
I wonder why you always call me by the same
until I found out that you have given me a name
the first time you hit me, I know you just want me to tame
but for me, I only want to hear your voice calling me and play a game
thank you for giving me the most cutest name in the world
lately I've been losing control, I think it's because of these whiskers
I'm sorry for destroying some of your slippers
maybe I just need your attention
and your affection
or maybe I'm just hungry
I began eating what I shouldn't be
thank you for feeding me the most delicious food in the world
even when I bit your charger's cord
I'm sorry for pooping on the floor
I was so nervous when you came home and opened the door
I thought you would hit me again
but I was wrong, instead,
you gave me a gentle pat on my head
thank you for walking with me
even I had chains on my neck
I know you just don't want me to be lost
you're holding me at all cost
thank you for letting me see the most beautiful places in the world
I love you, if only I could be heard
thank you for talking to me,
even you know I can't answer you back
thank you for giving me a bath
I feel so clean and also starting to love a cat
thank you for letting me sleep on your bed
when I feel so alone and cold outside, under the shed
you are the most wonderful person for me
you are the angel I always want to see
I hate it when you need to go and leave me
because I missed you from the moment you left me
you are the only one that makes me happy
I loved you since I was a puppy
and now I'm becoming old and weak
I feel so sad when I think that I only got a year of eight or nine
I will be always yours and I hope you will be always mine
I don't want to leave your side
you are my whole life
for you, I would take a bullet or a knife
so while I'm still alive,
thank you for taking care of me,
and if I die,
please don't forget me
Mar 9, 2014
Mar 9, 2014 at 11:06 AM UTC
" i slept like a baby"
when someone says this, i picture them peeing and pooping, and crying all night
Aug 13, 2015
Aug 13, 2015 at 1:16 PM UTC
Never Have I Ever (Slam Poem)
5/27/2014
Having a best friend makes you think of weird things.
Stuff like:
Getting slapped in the face with a fish is more about smell than texture.
13 nights in a row drinking isn't so bad if you save cash not using mixers.
A stranger hitting on you is a storyline for tomorrow's lunch.
Redecorating my room is just for you, nobody else will see it.
You asked me to go shop with you, are you saying I need new clothes?
Crushing Ritalin in a bathroom, because we stayed up 'til 6am before work.
Pooping is like extra time in the day set aside to call you on the phone.
Why do we play Never Have I Ever when we already know the ever's?
People think we constantly say inside jokes, but we're just telepathic.
I get into shape before you visit town, because you're my best wingman.
If we ever stop being friends, I really hope you don't blackmail me.
Can I designate you to speak at my wedding, babyshower, and funeral?
... or is it too soon to do that?
Losing friends can make you think of weird things, I imagine.
Stuff like:
1. I should stop ordering carne asada fries - I can't finish a whole portion.
2. I keep my curtains closed - I know your car won't randomly be outside.
3. Having lunch alone ***** - I shared a crazy story with the cashier today.
4. I take my poops with the stereo on now - I never could go in silence.
5. My voicemail inbox is full - I can't delete any when your voice pops up.
6. Maybe I should call you.
7. I need to talk to you.
8. I wish I could call you.
9. If only you'd come visit town.
10. Maybe I should go visit the cemetery.
11. I have a new least favorite Never Have I Ever.
12. Never Have I Ever had a best friend die.
And I hope I never ever will put that finger down.
May 27, 2014
May 27, 2014 at 6:05 PM UTC
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Royale Rococco rigged remarkably regular referee reefers red reddit reeder recuperating. Reconnaissance recluse really rabid. QVC quotient quoting, quo quoi quivering quite quirky. Quisling quipped. Quintuplets quintessentially quiet. Quids Quicken questions.
Quartermaster qualified quaint quaffing quadrilateral Pythons. Pyrex pylons put purdy purposeful puny punsters punching. Pumpkin pumice publicized prudential protean pros properly pronouncing prolific prodigies.
Proletariats professors' problematic. Pro privileges prioritized. Principle primates prevaricate. Preppy pregnant, praying prattler possibly Porgie. Poseidon pooping poodle ponders poppycock. Plum? Polite poison pods ply pitiful pinterest.
Pinhead Pillsbury pillager Pi. Pigskin pierce petsmart pests permanently. Perdition percolates peppered PennState pedigreed PearlJam Patagonian. Pastor pastes passion passably. Papas' paginated orbitz okayed. Nutty node needs money.
Next netzero nee naugahyde. Nattering nationwide nabob Moxie Molly McGee. Monosodium livingsocial joyus je kickstarter. Identityguard Huffington GMO. Gluten Glutamate footloose fancy free footlocker. Fingerhut fetishistic fabrication Cingular.
Feb 3, 2018
Feb 3, 2018 at 9:47 PM UTC
It was time, it was time.
You held my hand underneath the table cloth,
and your feet next to mine.
My parents sat across from us,
and they clapped, and laughed.
You pecked me on the cheek
and they cheered, spilling wine.
So we picked up our ***** plates
and took them to the kitchen,
where you proposed to me
with a sterling silver spoon.
It was time, it was time,
my stomach was swollen and ****
Nebulous and veiny, but you didn’t mind,
didn’t mind.
You touched my tummy and wailed,
as I laughed a scream.
An automated thud tapped the walls inside,
and you ran, and you ran to the door, keys in hand,
hopping and dancing a fool.
It was time, it was time.
How you ran, how you ran.
The teetering Titan steps,
you ate your hands, you ate your feet,
you ate any mush you would find.
You were here, you were there, eating, pooping,
all divine. You gloriously didn’t mind, didn’t mind.
You didn’t mind, that I screamed.
Sea green eyes, thunder thighs.
You were wise, and I was meek.
Watching me with a knowing gaze.
You didn’t mind, that I was clueless,
you beamed light that broke like god.
Dark brown hair, fairchild stare.
It could end now, and that’d be fine.
I would’t mind, wouldn’t mind,
wouldn’t mind if it was time.
Jul 26, 2014
Jul 26, 2014 at 12:35 AM UTC
the little ant hill is pooping out more piles of sand
piling little grains of metals high into the sky
they shine immaculately in the sunshine
as the rows of workers stream through the citys’ veins
they carry their plump, white babies
nurtured through larval state to maturity
the work continues tirelessly, ceaselessly
over green hills and through forests
over land and around the suburbs
families sit in their homes around television sets
the hills of little grains pile higher and higher
their antennae turn upward and sense the setting sun
night falls and the work is paused
the night beasts move around the piles of grain
the structure collapses and the residents scatter
rain begins and the flood is upon
the little ant hill is pooping out more piles of sand
piling little grains of metals high into the sky
shining brilliantly in the sun
the colony remains
originally posted on my blog https://sublimeobscenities.wordpress.com/ on May 24, 2014
Feb 25, 2015
Feb 25, 2015 at 1:50 PM UTC
Companions,
They may bark, meow or chirp,
Hiss, squeak or burp,
Pets or friends,
They're still there,
Priceless,
Irreplaceable,
Your companions,
Whatever size or shape,
Are the best,
They have their tough times,
Dogs are always pooping and peeing,
Cats always have furballs,
Birds **** everywhere,
But,
Dogs always play with you,
Cats are there to let you pet them,
Birds are there to look... good and do tricks,
They may vary in intelligence and grace,
But one thing's for sure,
They're fun and exciting,
To see someone when you go home,
Someone to cry and lean to,
Someone that will always feel what you feel,
They lick you till you're comfortable,
Paw you till you notice them,
Breath at you,
Let you feel their heartbeat,
They have their different ways,
But one thing's for sure,
Their there to love you,
Companions till death,
Some might have shorter life,
But some have longer,
Than you can ever have,
Yet time always passes when they're there,
Love your pets,
Love your friends,
Companions are the best,
And with their presence,
You're sure to have fun.
Jun 13, 2017
Jun 13, 2017 at 8:34 AM UTC
White House Biden ****
Shame on you
genocide joe
liar liar **** gov
burn in Gaza's hell
bombs fire ***** and all.
Kamala Harris laughing Haina
Genocide Joe hoo morena
Narcissist pooping
heartless lunatic
****** devils advocate
garbage ticking bomb.
Shame on USA, UK,Germany
France, Ukraine
Israel **** regime, go to hell
Court martial sinister satanyahu
and it's **** ****** IDF psychopaths
~~~~
Free free long live Palestine!
From the River to the sea 1947.
~~~
By legions of human beings.
May all Israelites **** regime be
exiled incarcerated famined too
Thanks Israel for teaching us
Earthlings on
how to hate you..
Apr 4, 2024
Apr 4, 2024 at 1:05 AM UTC
What is a dogs life
Eating, pooping and barking
Waiting for you to arrive
Checking out the garbage cans
Hanging around on the couch
Sleeping, sleeping and sleeping
Asking you to please pet me
Can we go for a walk now
Answering the door with barks
A joyous FAMILY member
A beautiful soul
Dog backwards is God
Very appropriate name
Cherish your together time....!
Brian Hill - 2019 # 238
Sep 22, 2019
Sep 22, 2019 at 9:56 AM UTC
A wet machine encased in skin,
Eating, Pooping, Sleeping all day long.
I meant to describe my baby,
But am I any different?
Dec 26, 2014
Dec 26, 2014 at 10:53 PM UTC
Don't you just hate it when
you're just there either pooping or
wandering by the mall
and an idea pops up.
You then try to remember it
for as long as you can
yet once you have the
pen and paper,
you ask yourself
"What was it again?"
Apr 16, 2015
Apr 16, 2015 at 4:35 AM UTC