I have a plan
Yes it may be unconventional,
But as a fan
I assure you its success will be intentional.

Most of you may know me
My talent feted shore to shore,
With puppets real as all can see
Talking, singing and much more.

I know I have a skill
And the will to use it right,
Some may say a magic pill
A potent weapon that can bite.

Now that I'm finally a Star
I need embrace the social causes,
No longer propping up the bar
I'm great at mimicking the poses.

One such thought that came my way
To help the old man pull it off,
It's for me to do and say
While he covers with a cough.

I can crouch behind the stand
Prop him up as best I must,
Work his head with my free hand
With experience I'll adjust.

All dear Joe needs do is focus
Read the screen and move his lips,
They won't know that's it's all bogus
That I've written all the scripts.

Only this way can he win
As my famous mates all say,
A little magic is no sin
If I get him through each day.

Should he stray I've got a treat
An ice cream cone well in his sight,
Only once his tasks complete
Will I let him take a bite.

I'm a patriot as all can see
I'll move mountains to beat Trump,
If Joe's to win it’s up to me
And if he flags I've got the pump.

I know I'm slightly losing it and Jill sees that now too,
So all we can but hope for is to Bluster and to Woo.
What If I sometimes falter with names or something more,
Only Fox is bent on keeping that lame and pointless score.
The rest of my fan Media provides me with great flak,
While I air my inner Irish and repeatedly attack.

As to the clueless voters I truly feel for all,
I quietly do get them, as the choices do appall.
Trump is but a cannon with a worn-out rusty bore,
Little in the barrel spraying mayhem aft and fore.
And to my friend Kamala, words truly don't suffice,
But no-one of sound mind would want to roll that dice.

So what are we now left with that possibly makes sense,
To getting people voting and off that dreaded fence.
I'm quite the only choice if truth be clearly told,
Despite the fact I'm quirky and obviously quite old.
Thank goodness for the knowledge my team will see me through,
I bless HIM every night for this weird creative crew.

They tell me what to say whenever I might need,
Have me practice all **** day to show that I can lead.
It's a challenge for them all but what about for me,
I’m sure it’ll be worth it in the end as you will see.
And while this plan unfolds I’ll keep a low profile
Speaking ever less as has become my style.

There is one thing that worries me far more than I would care,
Jon Stewart's now resurfacing with his weird confounding stare.
Throwing comments like sharp knives as a rapper from the hood,
And jabs like some street **** with a blistering left hook.
I’m asking my top people to rush him off the air,
The answer that I’m getting is pretend he isn’t there.

None of this a problem, the story of my life,
I cherish a good brawl and every dose of strife.
Abortion is my ticket with progressives by my side,
This alone will stem the frothing MAGA tide.
Just watch me now perform with my wily stash of tricks,
For if Trump is made of Teflon, I’m made from Scranton bricks.

I'm sitting pretty biding my time
Staying real quiet towing the line,
For President Biden, that lovely old man
Playing the game as only I can.

Why make loud waves, somehow act up,
When everything soon will fall in my lap,
Quiet will do it, with a giggle or two,
Hold my cards close and see this thing through.

Joe barely knows and doesn’t much care
When all he can muster is the 50 yard stare,
Once a great man now just a shell
Hell of a shame he can't hear the bell.

Time is my friend for as every week passes,
The closer I get to those fawning masses,
Cheering me on as I take our great oath
Sealing my path, cementing my growth.

Joe's a mere tool I’ll use till I'm ready,
But it needs to be soon as he's ever less steady,
Have him beat Trump, that foul mouthed buffoon,
Then on to dear Joe who shan't be immune.

The Media will gush, but just for a bit,
While I contentedly wait and quietly sit,
One gaffe way too many, they'll call for his head,
And here am I ready to jump in instead.

Madam President, sure has a ring,
A fine tune Beyonce will conjure and sing,
As to the fact I wasn't elected,
Who cares if it's me that must be selected.

For those that once doubted my
inscrutable skills,
It gives me the goosebumps and even the chills,
I socked it to Hillary and ******* the great chump,
So call me Kamala, the Queen and a Champ.

My head is in a spin,
My obsession just to win,
I'm driven and I'm mad
All I smell is gushing blood.

I feel I'm in a surreal game
That shooting sort - so very lame,
Where targets pop-up all around,
Nothing ever out of bounds.

What's good for them is great for me,
I'll deftly flatten all I see,
From rabid lawyers to media hacks,
I relish all their wild attacks.

For unbridled as they are
They alone propel me far,
Every moment of every day
From their lips my name they say.

Isn't that just simply grand,
As for every blow they land
Folks just rally to my side
Ferral wokes unable to abide.

I'm a fighter - all see that,
Unlike Joe that doddering dud.
Yes I'm tired - who wouldn't be,
But now the end I clearly see.

With the White House in my grasp,
I doubt I'll even need to ask,
They'll plead with me to take the keys
Given Biden's on his knees.

So while my enemies do the dance,
The time is near for me to prance.
They'll squeal and holler with all their might,
With me cheerleading at the sight.

I'll seal this race and do it quick
By any means and every trick.
Count me out at your great peril,
Not great odds even for the Devil.

Can you believe it, indicted again,
By a bunch of pure zealots, callous grey men,
Political hacks given the task,
To take down the Don and in the limelight then bask.
Find any cause, invent a good ruse,
Just make it stick, all tricks good to use.

But boxes of stuff, how low can they get,
Papers with socks stacked in the shower, some wet,
All safely collected in my place at the beach,
Easy to find, easy to reach.
Just mere mementos of my time as the Boss,
Not something I’d part with or wantonly toss.

Now they accuse me under some act,
With great media fanfare like milk to a cat,
Gloating, backslapping each other in turn,
Pouring on fuel, hoping I burn.
Little sick people don't they recall
They tried this before and I embarrassed them all.

To be top of news is clearly my ace,
Providing the fame and my favorite space,
For me to then weave my own brand of spin
And just like last time, that got me straight in.
But if this turn they're sure I've been finally licked,
They won't even feel how hard they've been kicked.

The ssa sdrawkcab & ǝpᴉsdn uʍop
Transpansexual king (King Clown),
The reprobate-minded ice cream ****
Who's reprobate unto every good work,
Whose middle name is Robinette,
Is President Xi's personal pet.

I will very very probably do it again
Anyone who knows me and has a brain
Can see that Biden's old and lame
Now's the time to reignite my reign.

MAGA folks love me and want me back
They need our country set on track
For what I have all others lack
Of running stuff they know sweet jack.

As to DeSantimonius, Short Pants Pence and Chippy Cheney
That they'll burn out I'll wage you money
I'm the one that's smart and funny
My golden touch makes all things sunny.

So once these midterms are sown up
I'll squeeze lame Joe just like a bug
Show the world that he's a dud
For I’m the man, I know it in my gut.

I'm senile, demented, a has been, a dud,
At least that's the story, the Republican fad,
Yet little they know in their haste to throw dirt,
That they're helping my cause with their views so absurd.

Each arrow they fly with anger and speed
Is akin to a child that as yet doesn't read,
It has no direction it lands off its mark,
Its aim misaligned, a shot in the dark.

But let them continue, this path suits me fine,
For while they're distracted I follow my line
Of making great changes, passing new laws,
Pushing them through despite the known flaws.

My ace up the sleeve I've yet to pull out,
The one that will make my enemies shout,
Trump’s just my ticket to another 4 years
Flooding Republicans in a torrent of tears.

So let him continue to posture and shout,
Instilling in voters that lingering doubt,
The choice never clearer between him and me
And just like the last time I’ll win out you'll see.

2 Corinthians walk into a bar
Where the bartender is the Devil,
And they say to him, "We know who you are."
"Who am I?" asks the Living Evil.
They reply, "The wandering star
Fallen from the heaven you chose to abandon."  
"Yes," says the Devil, "and also President Brandon."