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***
Heart throbbing
Mind racing
Breath panting
Pores sweating
Nails clawing
Lips locking
Tongues dancing
Skin tingling
Back arching
Mind altering
Eyes closing
Mouths moaning
Fingers finding
Hair pulling
Voice growling
Senses overloading
Being tingling
Blood singing
Body aching
Sleep **coming!
Copyright © JLB
12/05/2015
03:33 BST
Soma Mukherjee Jul 2011
Once I met a lady in a store who looked at my daughter and asked me
what was wrong with her why was she behaving this way
I saw my daughter and told her nothing, she is just dancing to her favourite song
and this is also one of the ways she plays

She looked confused so I explained and told her she is autistic
For which the lady congratulated me as she thought I said artistic

She may have not heard it properly but she was right wasn’t she?
Both the words had so much in common if only world could see


Autistic is artistic cos they look at the world very differently from us
They paint or write or sing what they feel and create a beautiful buzz
An autistic’s perception of world is so different so unique
And like any other artist they  prefer to let their work speak
Most autistics/artists are still looking for the medium
they want to express their feelings in, what makes them comfortable
Or maybe what they are doing right now is their art,
their stroke, their poetry,
whether or not we find that agreeable

Are we mature enough to understand their art?
Are we talented enough to polish their skills?



Don’t ruin it for them by moulding them into something they are not.
You will lose them for ever, for they won’t be the same without their art
Guide them through this life, make them as independent
as you would any other child but give them space and time
Don’t rush them into this life, for every child autistic or not,
is a caterpillar in cocoon, and will only emerge when nature chimes
You won’t get a butterfly by breaking the cocoon,
or else they will neither be a caterpillar nor a butterfly
Give them time, nourish them make them feel loved
and see how your beautiful butterfly flies

Do we have patience to give them that time?
Do we not know what broken dreams feel like? *


Guide them give them the proper tools to move and grow
How to overcome obstacles that you have to show
Don’t overload them with your expectations or pampering’s,
For every child autistic or not is like a seed,
and overloading will be very hampering
Always remember too much spoils and too little leaves impoverished
They need just the right amount of everything you can offer
and oh the places these kids go when they feel loved and cherished
Care for them, they are part of you, involve them in your life
and participate in theirs with all your Arden
And see how they bloom into the most beautiful flower in your garden

Have you learnt and polished your skills to be good gardener?
Have you taken training to be a good coach?

I have a child with autism and I have had my share of
taunts, staring, worthless advices and criticisms,
But I never let those rule my life; for it would have been insult
to all those angels I met in this journey of autism
This is a long journey and we will fall and fail, a lot, I know that
But I will learn, get up and make corrections
and move ahead and not worry about the stat
I will get up every time and help my daughter get up too,
I promise to my child and myself
We will keep moving whether life offers us
an empty or a well-stocked shelf

When I see my child I see
-A budding artist,
- A butterfly emerging from a cocoon,
-A beautiful sprouting seed.
*

Yes I will give her all that she needs and enjoy the process.
karin naude Feb 2014
my 3rd vice
my catalyst for food restriction
desperate to sooth my shattered self image
daily bombarded by airbrushed perfect female beauty
braking my image of beauty and showing my cellulite
followed by overloading information about fixing me
regular exercise, beauty routines and Cal restricted diets
insecurity the new female epidemic
we fight for women's rights
and threw the baby out with the bath water
a basic human need
unmet and exploited
our legacy
the English standard
geneticly out of reach for women of color
My eyes were beaming out,
onto the gloomy streets.
Fog was lurking in.
It adhered to my skin.
As the dew latched on,
after only seconds,
I slowly became damp.
Contributing to my silky skin.
Dusting my cheeks,
generating rosiness on my surface.
Glazing over my hair,
gluing each strand to another.
Coating my hands,
nipping at my fingertips
The haze in the back of my head,
It kept getting heavier.
Digging my fingernails into my head.
Tugging on each strand,
between my scalp and jagged fingernail.
Clawing as my nails trailed down my skull.
Blood dripping,
Streaming,
Creating tidal waves.
Fog was sprouting in my essence
The fog began to maneuver on me.
Blanketing over my body,
weighing down my soul,
overloading my carcass.
Melody Dec 2010
The pain I feel.
Just sitting here thinking..
Is overloading my soul..
It broke my heart...Too many times..
That he said I love you..Then took it away..
The only way...Isn't possible..
Can't tell how I feel..
Anymore..
The crack is too large to carry around..
Anymore..
I'll tell the truth...This is a love poem...Or more like..A broken heart poem...Sorry it's not happy..
Westley Barnes Sep 2012
Gather up, all you roaming and innocent true eyed youths,
the bells that chime the maturing of years will dictate.
And our minds, even in dreaming, are flashing,overloading,constantly ON.
Burning ourselves back towards the sediment,
back towards the eve of light and the horizon’s sweet ascent,
the hope of the bettering of Man (Woman, Child, Subject, Dependent, Enemy, Statistic)
to be played out by actors unsure all over again,
Plot, attempt, market research, unlikely success, unforetold rapid decline
Walk on down that road.

Twenty-Three years of Searching and Bafflement
I still walk on down that road.
The air smelling of leaking chemicals of exported decorative garden plants
the odd fir tree to remind me of a progressive upheaval.
I’ve read about Everything, I’ve sought out Everything; I’ve tried Everything
And yet still unsatisfied.
And yet onward I trot....
Left with the only things I still enjoy doing
Reading, writing about reading and writing about life
listening to music (Both new and the old, same old...cycle ending cycle re-entering brainwaves)
Thinking about ******’
and occasionally enjoying non-self centered ***
(Giving, once in a while, such unexpected joy, and who’d have thought?..)
And always at the back of my head
wondering how if I could get hooked on some supposed poisonous deity
Billfold notes stained ******* or some equally widely condemned non-popular pariah seal
And if I managed not to impoverish myself and become alienated from friends and family
And the moral majority
Then perhaps I could evolve to enjoy even that.
What is pleasure and its pursuit if not some guarantee of routine?
So I continue walking down that road.

Away, away, soon to return another day
Fresher (hardly) enlightened, the same...
and still I cannot recommend to myself
anything else but walking.
For to which valley the wise one goes, who knows, who knows......
Turn left, turn right, only the principles of geography can begin to decide fate.
(Though I would suggest bringing an umbrella, every now and again, just in case....)
To search for others, who would bring a chance of difference, on that self-same route
who share jokes about this one man...
Who was walking down that road.
This poem was partly inspired by Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds's song "Papa Won't Leave You,Henry".
(From the album "Henry's Dream",1992.)
derelictmemory Dec 2013
Take the stake and break my skin, guaranteed your hands will get covered in sin
For God's sake we're in this lake of blood but we aren't getting any younger,
look at how childish we've been

Twisted games and wandering ghouls, how quick we are to sell our souls
Lost and searching, grieving and wailing
The Great Perhaps may be our downfall

But may the scars litter the places you've touched
We're older, none the wiser and still we do not amount to much
Steal and cheat, we break our vows

To make something of what we had when we left town
Mystical dreams and whimsical fancies, we let ourselves rot to the tales
A dance with Death and burnt flesh, we sacrifice only to burn in hell.

Able minded fables with opposable thumbs, writing how we wanted things to be
On the picket fence like it's a clock, it's become my job to leave the decision to you

But I'm  done following footsteps that have become too big for my soul
Let me slip back into my cocoon until I remember, again, how it feels to fly on my own

A multitude of voices trying to influence my choices
Making notes of what they deem to be right and wrong
And by Royal Decree, they deem themselves as the most supreme
To have sights on only one road and forgetting of the others that are at their disposal

And my mind takes it in like a dry sponge over water
Overloading, always screaming
And it drives me into myself again, just further
Learning to let go of the only thing keeping a firm hold of reality to finally being free

Crack open the crevices of my chest
And let my soul be freed of the binding hands
Holding it back from what it seeks
A never-ending spiral of vertigo
A collaboration with Devlin Andrew Harris.
Djs Jun 2013
i am starting to get bad again
my heart ceasing to an empty end
yet my mind's overloading
satisfied with drugs, pain, and dying
uncontrollable shakes
forced harming to wake
no signs of courage
restless and wornout image
my heart stops beating
and my head starts pounding
i am starting to get bad again
and i am craving for my dead end.

*-djs
MadeleineBarnham Apr 2018
We all thought the same
She cut the rope we were balancing on
But you wanna keep your slate clean
So she was just a bad dream to be forgotten

You lie to yourself to be loved
Threw us under the bus and took your crown
Created a false article that told a biased story

Then published it...

We’re the blood thirsty reptilians now!
The drama seeking horror queens
The tables have turned
The fable turned to be true
A lesson is to be learnt.
Don’t trust the mouth of an unmasked joker
It doesn’t matter how much they shed their unequivocal truths
There are still darker hidden layers of secrets...
Secrets locked in an overloading box ready to busticate

Stay away...

You’re the poison that can’t be reckoned with.

Just remember!

While the vultures scavenge for fictious answers
The eagles laugh and over rule moronic actions.

               - Madeleine.Barnham
Betrayal is a funny thing and a sad thing when someone close turns to a darker shade of grey. It hurts when it's someone close, someone, you trusted for years, it only ***** when it's someone distant. It's funny how minds change and we never know why?
Joshua Smith Apr 2011
“You are not special.”
We are not special.
“You are the same as any other person.”
We are the same.
“Science says you are the same.”
If science has proven it, it must be true.
We walk with the Clan.
We breathe with the Clan.
We are Clan.
###
The science is truth.
The science is all.
Repetition, repetition, repetition.
We were born to work.
We were born to serve the Clan.
We must work so we may survive.
The Clan must survive.
###
We gaze into the gray wall.
The clouds are unmoving, unyielding.
The light-globes reveal the path home, to sleep, so we may rise again to serve the Clan.
The logic is clear.
We must serve the Clan if we are to survive.
We must survive so we may serve the Clan.
More techniques are needed, more ways to harness the Unseen.
Only the Exalted may witness it, for all others who were not chosen for it would perish in its fiery embrace.
We must work.
We must work.
Work.
###
Each day leads to the next.
Each street leads to the next.
The path is clear.
Work until nothing is left.
Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.
We have worked well today.
The new project is finished.
A vague, fuzzy part of the brain attempts to resurface, but it is squelched easily.
We will eat well tonight.
###
“We are not special.”
This day, a new project.
This day, a new group.
This day, a Sweeper tripped off the skyway and splattered in front of me.
It is of no consequence.
Another will be cleaning the refuse by tomorrow.
###
“We are the same.”
The long walk home.
Work on the latest project is finished; another will be brought in tomorrow.
The Unseen is being harvested well, but only for a time.
Various other gray shapes shuffle past, heading home.
The school is on the left, the eating center is on the right.
Suddenly, a commotion erupts.
A siren wails, and people scramble from the front of the school; a flash of black is visible among the masses.
The crowd breaks, an Enforcer visibly seen in the center, beating a boy with a concussion-rod.
“What were you thinking?” The Enforcer screeches, “Do you wish the Clan to fail? Do you wish the Clan to starve?”
“No!” The boy of perhaps eight winter’s old wails, “I just want to go home!”
“You are nothing! There is only the Clan!”
The Enforcer, of perhaps sixteen winter’s old, descended upon the boy, shouting, “You are worthless without the Clan! You had your chance, and you threw it all away!”
The Enforcer beat the boy for several minutes, until the Enforcer realized that it was pointless to further beat the mass of pulp in the street.
The Enforcer rose, exclaiming, “This is unacceptable! The Clan does not tolerate insubordination! And we are all Clan!”
“We are all Clan,” we repeated.
“We are all the same!”
“We are all the same.”
“The logic is truth! The logic is law!”
“We follow the logic. We follow the truth. We follow the law.”
“Now, go home. There is work to be done tomorrow.”
As one, the gray shapes huddle towards home, avoiding the mess in the street.
Maybe the new Sweeper will clean it.
###
“Science says we are the same.”
We work for hours, days, weeks, months.
The day of rest is approaching, and final preparations are being made.
The parade of the Exalted, in all their glory, will feature our new project to harvest the Unseen.
Again, a faint buzzing at the base of the skull, but it is ignored.
Models are built of the various projects of the scientific departments.
We build a Collector, another builds a Transporter, and another is working on a model of DNA.
It is not known why DNA is still being researched with so much else to do, but we do not question orders.
After all, it is said that DNA proves we are ninety-nine percent the same, so perhaps they are studying the remainder.
The parade approaches, we must prepare.
###
The day has arrived.
No laboring for one day, so we may enjoy the work of the year and prepare for the next.
The building-sized models are rolled through the streets, to display the Clan’s capabilities.
Vaguely, a sound is heard from the back of the procession.
A model of a giant metal orb has broken its restraints and is rolling down the street.
The crowd scatters like vermin before the light, and many take refuge in a building next to the skylift.
The skylift is near and the mob approaches, so we bolt for the skylift.
We rush inside the glass box and the door hisses closed behind us.
A blur of motion is visible outside, but suddenly the skylight begins ascending!
We begin to panic, since we are forbidden to travel to the home of the Exalted, but it is too late now.
The gray wall approaches closer and closer, as we huddle in fear upon the floor.
Nothing is outside except the gray, impenetrable wall.
Then, with a sudden jolt, a brilliant flash of radiance enters the small glass box.
The sensation is overwhelming and nothing can be seen nor heard for a time.
Slowly, the brightness dims, and we look about the box we rode in.
Outside, great floating towers with Collector arrays seem suspended in time, slowly revolving to follow the radiance.
The doors open with a whoosh and we find ourselves on a smoothly polished deck that is abundant with bright benches and plants that grow without hydroponics.
These sights are a mystery, but thoughts are scattered as suddenly we notice two figures standing before us to the side of the skylift.
The glow emanating from the beings themselves glistened and rippled with a silvery sheen.
We stared in awe at the raw perfection of their features; the smooth bronze skin, the clear eyes that pierced deep.
“What is this? Why are these Workers here?” one Exalted questioned another with a deep, booming voice.
“I don’t know. Perhaps the Enforcers know of this?” the other Exalted responded in a clear, trebled voice.
The Exalted snorted, “I doubt it. Those children are full of themselves. They are just bitter because they cannot join us until they pass their Ordeal.”
I? What is I?
“It is no matter. Let’s just stick it back in the skylift and let the Enforcers take care of this,” the Exalted continued.
The Exalted approached us and fear overcame our senses.
We backed up into the skylift and watched as the doors closed before the Exalted could touch us.
We watched as the wonderful plants and buildings flashed past, until we descended into the gray wall.

###

We thought.
We saw.
We felt.
Nothing was the same.
Our thoughts clouded, our mind scrambled.
Our work was pitiful, the reprimand was fierce.
Still, this question remained.
What is I?
We thought and thought, but nothing made sense.
We made the trip finally, to search the Records.
We requested a definition of I.
Thousands of responses came, overloading the senses.
We read and read.
It was wonderful!
It was spectacular!
But it still went against the rational mind, our thoughts, the Clan’s thoughts.
How can we be I?
How could our ancestors have been so blind?
Could they not see that to not be one was to be nothing?
But then, there was still the doubt.
There is always that doubt.

###

We moved through life, slippery as soap.
No one must suspect that things were not as they seem.
Every day, we viewed the skylift with envy and curiosity.
Every day, we approached it to ascend through the gray wall.
Every day, we turned away and went home.
Finally, the day arrived.
We resolved to enter the skylift no matter what.
We boldly entered and stood as the doors shut.
As we rose, our knees swayed.
We did not know precisely what awaited us at the top, but we knew that we must see it again.
The Unseen must be seen.
We rose and rose, and so did our spirits.
The pounding in the ears, the raw feeling of energy overcame us.
Now, rising through the gray wall towards the Unseen.
Now, rising towards salvation.
The wall was coming to an end, the freedom was coming.
The radiance burst in again, no less dizzyingly than the last time.
Once we stopped at the flat level again, we tentatively looked around, searching for signs of any of the Exalted.
With none in sight, we bent over and sprinted to the nearest cover, which was a large, fruit-bearing tree.
Now, this was an oddity, since the only plants we ever saw were grown in factories, and they were suspended in water.
We reached up and plucked the nearest fruit, which was about the size of our hand and had a smooth, red exterior.
We split it open, to find that within, it was moist and somewhat white inside.
Slowly, carefully, we placed a bit of the fruit in our mouth and chewed.
How delightful!
It was sweet, moist, crunchy!
We proceeded to devour the rest of the fruit, except the seeds, which were hard and small, and the small twig atop the strange, amazing fruit.
Once finished, we cautiously walked down the central path around the curious, floating buildings that radiated gold light, and pondered the burning questions in our mind.
What if our ancestors had something?
Was their downfall because of individuality, or was it the lack of it?
What if that one percent difference is what matters?
We did not know for certain, but eventually, we had to turn back, because the radiance began to fade and night would soon come.

###

You are not special.
“We aren’t?”
You are the same as any other person.
“Are we really?”
Science says you are the same.
“Is science really so infallible?”

###

So it became routine, to leave work and go up the skylift, to eat the globe-shaped fruit, which we discovered were called “apples”, and think.
Things below the gray, misty wall became less clear, less defined.
We saw the people around us, but it was as if they did not see us.
The gray walls, the gray shapes shifting from home to work, home to work.
Are they blind?
Was this how life has been?
It was uncertain, but thoughts began to form.
The others must know.
They cannot remain ignorant.
All the things they must know.
Above the gray wall, it was clear.
The purpose was clear.
We must leave, gather the knowledge, and teach the others.
We must plan.
We must prepare.

###

We thought, and we knew.
I am unique. I am not the same as everyone else. I think, breathe, eat, and exist for my reasons and purpose, nobody else’s. I will not submit to the will of others. I think clearly and for myself. I will be set free.

###

On the final day, it really wasn’t that difficult.
After work, I began to walk, and never looked back. I approached the edge of civilization. No one stopped me. No one even looked at me. Only the blankness was there. Before me, an endless, barren landscape, devoid of life. Behind me, the same.
I vowed to return, however; the people behind me would know what it was to feel, what it was to see, what it was to live. The Exalted were not so special as to leave the rest of us in the waste and filth. People would be given a chance for redemption.
Time grows short; I must hurry.
I try to tell myself that I am in control this time
Hoping that you will feel some kind of wonderment or downhearted, one second thought about me
I will not call you
I will not give in
I will not get my heart broken again
I want to use you to show you how I felt
But I can't
Because despite all the disappointment and letdown I could never hurt you
I could never ignore you

Although while I am over here over analyzing and nearly overloading my cranium with what if's and thoughts
You have the air of nonchalance and disinterestedness while you pop into my life again without warning
Can you tell that you get me all frazzled?
Is this purely for your own amusement?

Why can't I figure you out.
Why do you interest me so?
Why do I feel like my connection to you is the strongest thing I have ever felt.
No I must be naive and disillusioned

Till the day I completely cease sparing my time and thoughts to you
You will be the winner
Even if it is a bad thought you are still consuming my mind
Confusion and Love
Spite and Wonder
They all are the same
Same being you
Cancer & vaccination quotes
Quotes  Cancer and vaccines  Leukemia & lymphoma

Polio vaccine contamination with SV40
Childhood diseases prevent cancer:

Another practitioner, Dr. W. B. Clarke of Indiana, finds that "Cancer was practically unknown until compulsory vaccination with cowpox vaccine began to be introduced. I have had to deal with at least two hundred cases of cancer, and I never saw a case of cancer in an unvaccinated person."--Eustace Mullins

In an "In Memoriam" notice in a local paper, in November 1942, it was stated that William Martin Graham, Bowness Farm, Bowness, Wigton, aged four years, had died on 13 November 1941, from inoculation. The cause of death, which occurred five months after inoculation, had been certified as acute lymphatic Leukemia. The Truth About Vaccination and Immunization by Lily Loat

"The chief, if not the sole, cause of the monstrous increase in cancer has been vaccination." - Dr. Robert Bell; V. President International Society for Cancer Research, British Cancer Hospital.

My son was diagnosed with acute lymphablastic leukaemia (ALL) ten days or so post-MMR dose. I realise this is not one of the side-effects that you mentioned. I have been reassured many times that it had nothing to do with triggering ALL. My son is alive, 19 now and persevering against side-effects of treatment 18 years ago. Jessica Mullan, Grand Rapids, Michigan, USA 09.03.07 [2007] Parliament was given false MMR assurance

   Mr. J. Jackson Clarke, M.B. (Lond.), F.R.C.S., &c, the distinguished surgeon, when recently describing experiments in vaccination on the cornea, refers to the resulting "now well-known bodies " which "recall the bodies Russell described in cancer in 1890." Mr. Jackson Clarke further states that the bodies seen in the vaccinated cornea are closely similar in their appearance to those described as protozoa in cancer.
    General Phelps, in a paper read at the Glasgow meeting of the National Anti-Vaccination League, held in November, 1903, says : " Monckton-Copeman and Mann, writing on vaccine lesions in skin, observes : 'Clarke rightly points out that many cells appear similar to those found  in cancer.' " [1921] Vaccination and the State By Arnold Lupton MP.

Dr. Tennison Deane of San Francisco, in his Crime of Vaccination, tells a remarkable story illustrative of this truth.
    Dr. Deane relates that he was summering in Northern California in the late 80's, near a wealthy ranchman who lived with his wife and seven children on a 10,000-acre ranch in a salubrious pine region, 15 miles from the nearest town and having no adjacent neighbors. With him on the ranch at that time was a ***** foreman who also had a wife and five children. Until Dr. Deane appeared on the scene, none of these 16 persons—white nor black—had ever been vaccinated.
    As a zealous young practitioner, very close to his medical school traditions, Dr. Deane quickly warned these ranch-dwellers of their "unprotected" state and was able to persuade six of the sixteen—the farmer's wife and three children, the ***** foreman and his 12-year-old son—to submit to the vaccinating operation. "A year later," writes Dr. Deane, "an epidemic of sore throats broke out in this ranch colony which developed into diphtheria in four of the vaccinated, among them the farmer's wife, and one child died. The unvaccinated recovered rapidly from their sore throats, but the farmer's wife was paralyzed for a year and eleven years later died of cancer."
    It seems that the San Francisco physician was so impressed by this unexpected turn of his well-intentioned vaccinating zeal, that he not only kept tab on the subsequent history of the two families on the northern ranch, but watched the connection between vaccination and other maladies occurring in his general practice. He learned that the other four persons whom he had vaccinated on the ranch all died either of tuberculosis or cancer within four to twenty-two years from the date of vaccination, while none of the unvaccinated in either family died within that period except the white farmer who, he says, "died of old age."
    Dr. Deane relates that for many years after this early experience with vaccination on the Northern California ranch, when a patient came to him with any serious throat, bronchial or pulmonary trouble, he made a point of inquiring into his past history, and invariably he found a back-ground of calf-pus "immunization" against smallpox. Then when he felt he had sufficient data to warrant it, he published The Crime of Vaccination (in 1913), which brought down on him the wrath of his medical colleagues, and made his professional life in San Francisco so unhappy that he voluntarily withdrew from all medical assemblages and finally abandoned all medical practice except surgery. Hale, Annie Riley. The Medical Voodoo. New York: Gotham House, 1936.

"My site has several articles by the Nobel Laureate Alexis Carrel regarding injections of highly dilute poisons, similar to formaldehyde in Salk vaccine, which was 1:4000 concentration. Carrel injected carcinogens at 1:5000 to 1:250000 and caused reliably, cancer in chickens."---Jim West (Harpub) www.geocities.com/harpub  

"The big question everyone seems to avoid is:  Can vaccines cause cancer? There is certainly  evidence connecting contaminated vaccines to AIDS. And *** is a cancer-causing  virus. Robert Gallo, the co-discoverer of *** in 1984, has clearly stated AIDS is an epidemic of cancer.    Animal and avian viruses can contaminate vaccines and have all been studied as cancer-causing  agents. And cancer  and vaccine research would be much more difficult without the use of cell lines, some of which are derived from cancer."--Dr Cantwell

"Had my mother and father known that the poliovirus vaccines of the 1950s were heavily contaminated with more than 26 monkey viruses, including the cancer virus SV40, I can say with certainty that they would not have allowed their children and themselves to take those vaccines.  Both of my parents might not have developed cancers suspected of being vaccine-related, and might even be alive today. "--Dr Urnovitz

"MY DAUGHTER had the MMR booster at four and her arm immediately swelled up and she started to feel unwell. Within six weeks, she was diagnosed as having leukaemia, and the doctors we spoke to accepted that the MMR jab was probably the trigger for the disease by overloading her immune system."--Media letter

"A study by Ronne (Lancet, 5/5/85 1-5) showed that adults who had had natural measles with a rash had a decreased incidence of various cancers, including cervical. Another study showed that women are less likely to contract ovarian cancer if they have had mumps during childhood."--Dr Jayne Donegan

"Vaccination and sulpha drugs have been recognised as being directly responsible for the production of leukemia in humans."---Dr B. Duperrat of the Saint-Louis Hospital in Paris, writing in the French medical journal Presse Medicale, march 12, 1955.

"All vaccination has the effect of directing the three values of the blood into or toward the zone characteristics of cancer and leukaemia...Vaccines do predispose to cancer and leukaemia." Professor L. Vincent - founder of Bioelectronics

"Already published reports, as well as our own observations indicate that smallpox vaccination sometimes produces manifestations of leukemia.  In children and adults observed in the clinics of Cracow, smallpox vaccination has been followed by violent local and general reactions and by leukemia."---Professors Julian Aleksandrowickz and Boguslave Halileokowski of the Medical Academy of Cracow, Poland wrote as reported in Lancet, May 6, 1967.

"Many here voice a silent view that the Salk and Sabin vaccine, being made of monkey kidney tissue....has been directly responsible for the major increase in leukemia in this country"---Dr Klenner, M.D.

"Within a few years of the polio vaccine we started seeing some strange phenomena like the year before the first 300,000 doses were given in the United States childhood leukaemia had never struck in children under the age of two. One year after the first onslaught they had the first cases of children under the age of two that died of leukaemia........ Dr Herbert Radnor observed that in a small area of this little town, in an area where no cases of leukaemia had been expected or at the most one in 4 years according to previous statistics, they suddenly had a rash like an epidemic within a few blocks"---Dr Snead

"He (Moskowitz MD) also suggests a link between whooping cough vaccine and leukaemia — an association he supports with case histories from his own practice and with other clinical data."---Media article

"Most infants have been receiving up to 15 doses of mercury-containing vaccines by the time they are 6 months old. It is almost inconceivable that these heavy burdens of foreign immunologic materials, introduced into the immature systems of children, could fail to bring about disruptions and adverse reactions in these in these systems."--Harold Buttram MD

Polio vaccine contamination with SV40:
"Stanley Kops....has produced proof positive that the oral polio vaccine has always been contaminated with SV-40, a monkey virus which has been linked by the FDA and other organisations with cancers such as mesothelioma and meduloblastoma. Since 1963, we have been assured that polio vaccines have not contained this deadly contaminant. Stanley Kops shows that not only is this not the case, but that the vaccine regulators who are charged with keeping our families safe, have known all along that SV-40 was never removed from vaccines."----Meryl W. Dorey

Childhood diseases prevent cancer [Homeopathy and Measles]
"On the basis of observations by the Vienna surgeon Professor Schmidt, which took place over decades in his practice 16, studies in the last 100 years have shown consistently that people who experienced childhood diseases accompanied by fever were less likely to suffer from cancer in later life 17, 18,19,20."---Anita Petek-Dimmer
Sara Jones Apr 2015
I'll lay my soul on your tombstone

Sorry I missed the funeral darling but
I couldn't quite handle seeing you so bare in your casket

A sight so painful like the cuts I made on my wrists

Those pearls gracing your neck still pale in comparison to your beauty

Now that you're gone there's not much else to say
My days are a little more grey as every thought if you turns my head

Maybe you'll walk through the door undead
Killing my eyes with that bright laugh and smile
But it's alright I guess

I'll keep your memory just below my surface
Living in your memory using all my favorite vices

I smoke those herbs to numb it all
Bowls after bowls token up like Thomas the engine
Trying to get as high as possible to laugh so hard my tears stop being from sadness and start being from joy

I drink this patrone to forget it all
Feeling the burn of my favorite whiskey hitting my throat and slurring words a bit
Speaking so vague not even I know what I'm saying.

But it doesn't help

You're overloading my system every once in a while
With those eyes as pale blue as the sky on the last day we met

Never opening again, **** that hurts my soul

My dear it may have been four short years but
It all feels like yesterday I got that phone call

Telling me you're fighting for your breath
Telling me you might not make it
Telling me it's a time for prayer
Telling me you've been killed

But here's the deal
I've never been the spiritual type
The first thought that comes to mind when I go in road trips isn't to pray for safety
And I'm not sure why

Maybe because I prayed more in my life in the two hours between those phone calls telling me you've been hit, and when you died

Maybe because when I needed Him the most he didn't come to my rescue like everyone said he would

When I was staring at white walls and florescent bulbs waiting for the next meal
I would reject because I wanted to be hanging from a rope and noone should try to stop me

When I prayed to Him about wanting to take my own life he turned his back on me
It was as if it was meant to be

But then I sat staring at four white walls lying on a bed of nails contemplating how I made it there

Then I think about you
21 was to young to be murdered.
16 was to young to contemplate suicide.

I guess my point has been lost in traslation

But just to bring this to a close it's that your departure did more than **** you
It killed my faith
It killed my self worth
It killed me

But maybe it happened to bring me here.

You know I always have to put this positive twist here somewhere

I've settled in the university of my dreams with friends I couldn't have thought better of myself.

I've started blossoming In my poetry
Spittin these words straight from my notepad where four years ago noone would be able to stare at me this long without my anxiety destroying me inside and out

My dear, if you were still here
I don't know where I'd be today
Maybe I would have found some different passion
But I think I'm happier where I am
Then where I would have been
Had you never been taken from me
I wrote this out of a guy of sadness so I apologize if it's difficult to follow: it's raw and unedited.
Rachel Apr 2015
Have you imagined yourself in a middle of a field?
Alone and left enchanting with the beauty of nature
Captivated with its attractive creatures
Thanking god for making all this blessings
Fascinated by how he trust us to nourish his creation
Feeling like you might explode any time
Because your heart is overloading with different emotions
Hope, faith and love

It makes you speechless at the same time teary eyed
You don't know how you can reciprocate his glory
And you feel like you deserve none of this things
This clean air that provides you life
Those grasses with its perfect shade of green that relaxes you
Those trees with its fruits that provide shelter and food
Those weird noises of the insects at night that lulled us to sleep

Little things that we forget to be grateful
We're blinded by our progress that we neglect our own origin
Have you ever thank god for this?
We just bypass this things just like we bypass others
Because we are self-centered, selfish and always seeking for more
We are not satisfied, We are not contended
But at least can we thank god for this things that seemed nothing?
Holla when she sakes
King of hearts Ripples through the lakes
Making to brake
Dollars to take
simple or fake
Roll them dice as she shakes
Anticipate to elevate
Partpicate the wake
Passionate to wait
Overcoming overflowing overdose overloading
System flowing
holding the soal
shifting titonic plates
exspensive stakes
Misplaced mistakes
Expensive taste
Liquidate the place
Displaced Love
relocate hallucinate
darken hate
Tornado hurricane earthquakes
shaded pain
ashes brings
shadowed rain
Misselle Jun 2016
I lost him in a bottle of Mucinex
And a flood of serotonin
I lost him between the ‘D’ and ‘M’
And a flood of serotonin

Convulsions, fever, hallucinations
It was just because of serotonin
Overloading his system, forging images
That then began to own him

But then the questions late at night
Why did he choose to end his life?
Was it a choice, did he think of us?
It’s all because of serotonin

I can’t stomach the thought of him lying
At my age in a hospital bed
Because the world was too dark
That grandfather ghosts must stand above him and make a choice
All because of serotonin

And how did he—No!
I can’t go there
I can’t, I don’t want to know!
And in the end, all that’s important, was it was all serotonin

I lost him eight hundred miles away
Without a chance to hold on, not for a moment
I lost him at the Golden Gate
Because of ******* serotonin
SoulSwirl Jan 2012
Warm headlights cut through the muggy latenite
of the strange *******.
All the anger, frustration and pain
shift to
primitive energy (skin tight and mad doper than smack).

does it get surreal?

The desire for an invasion of your body is like a suspicion
overloading the ocean of ones and zeros.

the reservoir is full again.
planetary evolution is merely a diversion.

Look, mommy, there is an airplane in the sky.

*pleasure
I don't know why,
you're trying to be so kind.
Every second here,
is a waste of time.

I'm overloading,
my mind is corroding,
and I can't seem to find,
purpose in my life.

Silver tears,
and pearly white smiles,
reflecting off my glazed over eyes.

I'm standing on thin ice,
please don't come near,
or we'll both drown,
in all my fears.

I just want to die alone,
I don't want to take you down.
I don't want to die alone,
I just don't want to take you down.
Copyright Barry Pietrantonio
Jonathan Dec 2017
If every poet wants to be loved why do they need every feeling but love everything that is essential becomes contradictory find every word in the dictionary to send our message fully infused With the subsequent substance with a enveloping past that you give power to with each glance a symbiotic connection hungry for attention a powerful grip with feelings of strong misguided blinded moral film that covers your skin irresistible until you come back to your writing and you realize what you just wrote dig deep down and see your true depth in a paradox of perspectives thoughts bounce off waves of reflecting inception overloading my cornea flood of images I spill into text what's the imprint that was left try so hard to fit in thinking they're excluding you when it turns out I'm really excluding you corrupted excess of expression poisoning cycle of nervous thought of my inner dialogue separate me from a clear view with the greifing fog try to hide try to distract but never dodge three the highs and lows even and odds I always see the effect just hopelessly blind to the cause shocking withdrawls lost in the in flames dowsed a brave heart with callouses made of cowardice after everything a poet really does just want to be loved....
Act I

               Married at 25, in a small chapel off Caustic drive. Mr. Robinson was the envy of the whole town, as they all witnessed the beauty of his wife in a wedding gown. Twas a truly glorious occasion, even for those opposed to the Victorian persuasion.
                As a gift from her father, Mrs. Robinson received a family home. It wasn’t a gigantic bother, just a free place to roam. The couple was instantly overjoyed, not that it was an emotion to avoid. It just wasn’t a typical occurrence, for Mr. Robinson who, devoid of the world, felt little congruence.
                For six long years Mrs. Robinson’s husband toiled with cars, and avoided the nightly pleasure of bars. He brought home every penny he could, but was robbed a bit, working in a “hood”. Still he had enough saved for a little vacation, something to distract him from his “wretched vocation”.
                On the way home from withdrawing some money, just some small cash to get something for his honey, Mr. Robinson was stood up by a common thief, who smiled viciously with rotted teeth.  The man handed over his wallet with little struggle, scarred for his life. Seeing a license the man remarked through a muddle, about ****** Mr. Robinson’s wife.

Act II

                  Brutality was in this man’s blood, his day of reckoning approaching like a flood. It was clear to see in the thief’s gaze, that this wasn’t some malformed craze. Mr. Robinson had seen the look before, in his own mirror before crashing to the floor.
                  Violence was something begrudged in his soul, burning hot now festered by burning coal. He had avoided it all his life, steered away by a devotion to a girl he knew would be his wife. But in this moment it could have all faded away. So Mr. Robinson allowed his mind to stray.
                   His fists flew in an uncontrolled manor, there was little there that resembled glamour. The thief thrashed with the might of a knife, but Mr. Robinson put up a fight, clamoring to an image of his wife. Soon the thief’s skull was as flat as the pavement, and then Mr. Robinson sat there, constant and patient.
                    After a trip to the bar, Mr. Robinson returned home to his wife, and then laid before her all his strife. He wasn’t one to hide behind a lie, which could sever such an ever-loving tie. Mrs. Robinson understood it all to well, though from her hysteria you could hardly tell.
                    Tears were shed between both the Robinsons, and then came a series of promises. The first was that they’d leave the country with great speed; the second came contingent on one final deed. Mr. Robinson had to clear out his chequeing account, without inspiring a hint of doubt.
                    Sure enough, the deed went off without a single hitch, but in the back of his mind, Mr. Robinson had an itch. The wish for chaos hadn’t gone unnoticed inside his head, just lingered behind like a common dose of dread. Still he pressed on, and bought two tickets to Milan.

Act III

                    Mr. Robinson was drenched in sweat as the couple went through the metal detectors, and crossed a path of lazy eyed T.S.A inspectors. Regardless of any present fear, the man was aware that his destination was more than near. Walking past the last of the T.S.A, Mr. Robinson looked cool, nodding along to the music of DFA.
                    Boarding the plane turned out to be no big deal, in the pat down security had hardly copped a feel. They played a movie on the plane; its plotline seemed to run quite the same. A man boarded a westbound flight, but fell victim to a trending plight.
                    The whole compartment was overloaded with rage, and it came in a parcel they couldn’t encage. One by one they fell victim to disillusion, surely the result of a drastic head contusion. Though quickly it spread like a vile pollution…no race exclusion.
                     In the end only one lay in the wake, the turmoil, to him, was no more than a piece of cake. He was immune to the disease spreading amongst the flight, and used brute force to conquer the plight. Slid from the plane a triumphant man, and smiled for the cameras after a quick scan.
                     The whole film was a colossal joke, told from the mirrored reflection of a director on coke. Mr. Robinson didn’t take much from it at all, except that the righteous stand tall, it didn’t matter that the plot was about a hero, Mr. Robinson was going to burn that down like the fires of Nero.

Act IV

                      He strolled off the plane with a righteous grin. Mrs. Robinson obliviously was seen coating sun tan lotion all over her skin. They stayed at a hotel near the beach; Mr. Robinson renewed his license and began to teach. Six months passed without blood, no names to drag through mud.
                      During this time the Robinsons had a child, who had a tendency to be quite wild. The little girl was far too rambunctious; though saying so may be a bit presumptuous. It seems though, that it was the opinion of her father, who found need in removing the life of his daughter.
                       Mrs. Robinson played the part of being willfully naive, searching for some desperate form of reprieve.  She knew her husband had gone insane, the facts for which were more than plain. Still she pushed through and looked for the good, no matter what sort of hallowed grounds the shadow stood.
                       Two years went by without incident, their tedious normalcy, overly consistent. Then a reporter came asking questions, about a small time mugger and their known relations. Mr. Robinson laughed it off as though nothing was the matter, and then took the man down through the science of avoided clatter.
                       Hidden amongst those who don’t get found, was Mr. Robinson’s third victim, newly crowned. The deed lay hidden for a decade or so, time’s vagueness makes it hard to know. Romance was lively in the Robinson household, though such flare up hardly needed to be foretold.

Act V**

                      Mrs. Robinson was blind to all her surroundings, making it rather hard to collect any findings. She continued to believe that her husband was a kind soul, an innocent, but worldly foal. He spoke to her by the tender light of a candles glimmer, held her close in that weak flames shimmer.
                      One day she fractured a wall overloading a shelf, behind the latex laid the Robinsons daughter herself. Terrified and confused, Mrs. Robinson waited for her husband to come through the door, when he did she was already curled up on the floor.
                     They prayed together for a solemn moment, and then Mr. Robinson murdered his wife with little postponement.  He placed her inside the wall of his family home, right night to the kitchen phone. The next 40 years he consoled his loss with many a life, but none were buried anywhere near his wife.
                      He left the home as a constant reminder, of those he had failed as a provider. Stayed in it for every moment one should, and held onto it as long as one could. But in death, the home went up for auction, and it was sold off without a hint of caution.
                      A young Stedman bought the home for him and his future wife. They bought the home at a very low price, at such a rate it was hard to think twice. Renovations came, as one would expect, though the issues found weren’t necessarily from neglect.
                      This family was tainted by that gruesome, wretched home. Turns out, Mr. Stedman was also forced to roam. He had a nasty habit with a very sharp blade…that type of predilection doesn’t typically fade. During upkeep, Mr. Stedman discovered an odd bit of insulation, but certainly wasn’t about to seek further consultation.
                      He realized exactly what it was laying in the walls of his home, and he saw no reason not to let it get overgrown. The first victim added was his very own wife; they had been going through a bit of a strife. Soon after mudded in his parents in law, but removed them thereafter finding their odour quite raw.  

……………………………………………………………………………………
Andrea Lee Bolt Dec 2020
Gorgeousness,

I want you to explore the unknown parts of yourself through me.

Shackles break free when thirst turns to unity.

The feeling of being at one with the void
Independent is the 1 from the Zero
Yet excited to create the code together, heart in heart there is no other energy in the game more sweet then after you are satisfied we wash your feet.

Humbly bow to the King who hath finally revealed himself to his queen. We have loved with reckless abandon every time thinking that was you behind the light in their eyes, we took the leap only to find more lessons, more sharpening of our mastery, more compassion for who we used to be.

In your eyes we receive an achievement unlocked. Here is the place we have won our best self, we leveled up, integrated and at one with all the creatures of love, below and above.

We see the code of golden light, hold space so that you may enjoy the desire knowing your deep primal wants have already been written to be freely expressed inside of Us.

Set your Love free, let out your god seed feed on the bliss of its own creation story, it’s you we have longed for to release the dam between our hearts and all our vast expression of wondrous fire.

Néw notes of pleasure We sing discovered songs of satisfied, building out the tribe, there are so many stories we have yet to live in the frequency of Gorgeousness.

Weirdly Honest, Surprisingly Calming.

Like our first kiss when your electricity shot through our spine, like a tape hitting rewind in surrender of the tech. A beautiful mess of circuits overloading, shifting directions to dimensions of unsung awareness of possibility.

The Fantasy is Our Reality.

Living on the edge in a womb we built, free to be free, love is our hilt and there are enough Bliss Dragons to keep us busy for all eternity.
Co-creating with our One True Love calling him home.
Quinntin Bravo Jun 2018
I feel sick to my stomach
I feel like throwing up these words
bottled up inside
but all I do
is gag
on the feeling of fear
leaving a bitter taste in my mouth

I don't want to eat
I just want to eat away the pain
wash away the fear
with bubbly sugars
filling my sensations
overloading myself
with stimulations
but
it's never enough
Why won't these feelings go away
Marcus Belcher Nov 2015
Great minds understand
Only fools see two entities
Overloading to one side
Destined to always shine

Again and again
Neither gaining or losing
Doubt always around

Everyday is a battle
Victory is impossible
Infinite dance
Love is the partner
More random works
Frank Corbett Jan 2013
I've created this thing,
it's teeth of alabaster,
an uneven ring,
of watchful disaster.

It's staring at me,
from the sliding glass door,
while cold creeps onto my toes,
from the cracked white tile floor.

Purple skies of snowfall,
overloading bald trees,
makes this horror seem small,
though even now it cannot freeze.
Sawyer May 2019
Rivers, eyes, pools of blood, dense and hollow all at once,
Colors shifting like embers, burning like flame, the blue kind,
Deceptively cool in appearance but in truth,
Truth,
The most deadly of anything.

Can’t cry, can’t smile, can’t feel,
Can’t be real,
But can’t be dead because if I were
Maybe it wouldn’t be so ******* cold,
But to hell with the idea that I’m alive,
That’s *******
Just like everything else they said and don’t you *******
DARE
Ask me who “they” are

Because

They are the directors of the last movie that caused me to panic
They are the boy cracking his ******* knuckles in class and overloading my senses
They are the dark and the shadows that I’m scared of
They are the light that I want more than anything and then
They become the tall ******* in second grade who held your books over your head, just out of reach of your chubby little hands

Except the “books” just out of my reach aren’t stories now, they’re lightbulbs
Which is the most boring thing ever to a kid
But when you grow up and the lightbulbs go out and you reach for a replacement and it’s not there
You’re even more scared of the dark than you were when you were 5.
So you do the thing where you lay really still and wait for the sun to come up but hey, surprise surprise,
It never ******* does, and you forget there was ever a time when you weren’t laying still in the dark.
Hell, you forget there was even a sun in the first place.

And yeah, maybe it sounds like I’m making the whole world out to be against me but sometimes
It just feels like it is,
Maybe they didn’t mean to do it but the road to hell is paved with good intentions and
At this point my backpack is full of ******* cement so
I guess I’m to blame too,
Paving my own path to hell which would be poetic if the heat would stop burning
all
my
*******
nerves

away
I've been having a lot of bad nights lately
Yenson Sep 2019
They call it flooding
sensory overloading and psyche attack
persisting harping on negatives acts created
this to a spineless snowflake would drive insane
they see it as gnawing at a scar re opening wounds for pain
or the torturing style of keeping a prisoner awake while music runs
playing unappreciated sounds over and over and over and over again
he sadist ****** buzzes believing we are doing his head cracking it

I see emotional intelligence
this is psychotic obsession by an inferior bully
imagine the damage inherent in minds such as these
imagine how useless inadequate unfulfilled and pained to do this
I feel sorry for them then I find it funny they put in time and effort
then even funnier  that there is no bases in reality or truth to it at all
perhaps sadly I also see there are loads of unhinged people around
then gainfully it all reinforces my confidence and self assurance
and in all modesty the difference between good education an *******

But there is something I do not comprehend
why ingrates have not considered that if their acts impacted
I have choice to leave site and not read their delusion therapies
do they imagine I am masochistic or numb as they erroneously say
I think not its simply narcissists are arrogant and lack introspection
which brings me to a salient assertion which again I state humbly
If I'm going to be driven mad it would not be by a bunch of asinine nutcases and semi illiterate spineless cowards and certified toe-rags

I rest my Lords......
Mateuš Conrad Feb 2017
never certain whether it's actually happening,
or if i have reached a pinnacle
of myth-making,
never really know....
   but it's fun when you do begin
thinking less, and myth-making more...
   for one thing, drinking beer,
after about 100ml of whiskey is a hilarious
event...
or drinking in general,
i never really feel ashamed at my vice,
   ****, i embrace it,
  i like writing about it,
   after about 5 beers and 70cl of whiskey
i turn into a ******* sparrow...
   so i might enlarge my perspective on german,
and everything that was once idea,
   and... theory...
    like spotting the lack of diacritical marks
in english when the greeks are: well,
kinda overloading on it...
               a bit like writing about the sun:
it's recurrent, it never changes...
   or a bit like me giving my ***
  the jerks and wiggles, bouncing up and down,
watching the moon behind a clot
of cloud: hello!
   while squatting, picking up
   the cigarette buts off the roof just outside my window...
    frozen moon,
the dilation and shrinking of a cat's eye...
very feline, haven't you noticed, the moon being, thus?
    last night, i spent about 20 minutes,
drunk, literally about to do a coma
caressing a cat... a maine koon,
ginger, weighs about 10kg...
         forced him onto the back,
on a nice, soft back-rest...
     and those eyes appeared...
   day-time cat eye: scythe nearing,
actually a diamon sharp...
   night-time cat eye? wild-eyed!
   big, bulging things that could scrap
any theory on the black hole...
   i already said it's a 2-d object in a 3-d space...
it's monster carousel... spinning spinning spinning...
   like a fern bush in the first Lara Croft game,
and with computers being all about
experiment, it's possible, you actually can
encode a two-dimensional object in a three-dimensional
system, it's doable...
                 well... i'm sorta *******
that i get to teach the lesson about forgiving your enemies,
i'm actually: really, really ******* about it,
  i've become much more disgruntled with life
and i've turned into an imitation of a boar,
i.e. a boor... gboor in polish,
  and no, i don't belive that in gnostic
the g is silent, nor in gnome...
given that you perfectly say it in the word:
diagnostic...
              that's english: so many particular
examples, quasi-etiquette, that you might as well
forget bird-watching and look at the language,
given that it perfectly complies with
a universal quality, as it stands:
it really is a lingua franca,
besides talk of a commerce medium, there's this.
oh, that guy who tried to **** me
  telling me i'd be taking something akin
to l.s.d., well, he's bipolar now,
oh sure, i know his name,
    i know where he lives,
his mother was, quiet fond of me...
     started acting like he was the only one
in the "ghetto"...
          and the woman who invoked
the original plan.... schizophrenic...
calls me up (9 years ago, pst)...
****, what's a prolonged S in german?
thankfully i have a sense of humour...
dark, isn't it? i don't know where they get those
stars from, on screen and with camera,
dark as **** around here,
     very much akin to a blue sky...
so dark, i have only about 3... ok, i'll stretch it
to four constellations i'd care to talk about,
that rhombus, that zodiac scorpion,
and those two identical constellations of
the big and little dippers...
   and i was once asked to travel to Australia
to see: "the many more constellations"...
i went up to Scotland, to a remote place
   near Ben Nevis, in the highlands,
   got dropped off in Glen Coe...
climbed a mountain, walked a craig...
   camped in complete darkness...
went to a pub, drank an ale called:
   sheepshaggers...
        huh?! the Welsh, so far up north?
and guess what: all that talk of light-pollution
proved to be, utter tosh....
           where are they? am i sight-able,
am i blinking?! what's with this talk
of so many stars that William Blake talked about?
i.e. how, there are more stars than grains
of sand on all the beaches in the world?
  i can see jack-****!
i already said, a max of 4 constellations!
      i'd see more stars in a cat-pounce-ready
being petted at 3 am by a drunk like me...
it really was me listening to bonie m's rasputin
picking up cigarette butts off the roof
   just outside my window, above the kitchen...
squatting, and looking at the moon from beneath
the clot of wintry clouds, moving across
the sky like a Mongolian horde...
   i have many names... huh?
oh right... i've been called the hunchback angel
by a thief, and simply an angel
   by this spanish girl who took me back to her
flat and i said: honey, been with prostitutes,
we don't **** under the bed-sheets...
to know it all, you have to see it all...
   then we went to the Notting Hill carnival
the next day, after some time spent talking
in a bath together... and her two intimidating
gay friends... my "erectile dysfunction",
and my limp phallus in her mouth,
  *** under the bed-sheets... ugh...
   and her madonna-***** complex prescribed by
Freud...
         she lived with two gayos...
     i'm sure my **** was just about ready
had i asked...
              and that robin in her garden...
puffy-orange breasted nibble for the eyes...
chirp... chirp... the smaller the better:
nervous twitching, lightning like strokes
of head-movement, a bit like a sparrow,
that never could walk like a crow, indulging
in a funeral-procession, domineering schwarz...
  just skipping, unable to walk, just... skipping.
so that's nice... being called
   a hunchback angel...
   (i don't leave my hermit hole that often,
when i do, i hear the most amazing things,
as i usually do, when picking up a newspaper) -
but the cherry has to be coming from this friend
of mine that tried to **** me...
oh it's a cherry... the death of death...
     and it's in English!
  how could they ever drag the gentleman out
if not in speaking english?
                 now i don't know whether i should be
******* that i didn't die aged 21,
or whether i should be happy, that i have
so much happiness in drinking...
         and look! so much agility and capacity to
write a load of ******* while drinking...
  ah... rose Isolde... don't despair...
           i have canned laughter
             and a theatre filled with an audience
of 1.
   this is the part where you say all of this
is *******, and find adventures in a supermarket aisle
while shopping for canned sardines.
bon voyage! mon ami.
   not all punctuation marks belong alongside dot...
   hence the ...
                            how to transcend into the
practice of ensuring ! ? are not like dots
and more like commas? and do not, necessarily,
belong as sentence-show-stoppers?
          is it just me, or is there an astma problem
in the punctuation sector of the, given language?
hoo! ha! hoo! ha! who! ha ha ha.
Paula Sullaj Mar 2015
Transform   me   to   the    point  of   death
Surrounding    my    scars     with   daisies,
Overloading  my   blood with  white light,
Explode   me   into   billions    of   sparkles.
Then    create    my   wings  out    of    frail
fairy  dust   and the  strength of a tornado.
After give me eyes to  see energy   floating
And antennas to feel every touch as a bliss
Turn   my   being   into     a          butterfly,
So    I     can      pop      around       prettily,
Colorfully,       energetically,        infinitely.
**Love me!
eve Nov 2017
What you give me is what I receive,
The feelings overloading and essentially controlling me are forcing the inner version of myself to ignore thee,
Block off anyone who interferes with my life in the smallest of ways.
Stress is enough,
I can no longer think straight.
Consistently titling to both ends of our path,
I thought the starting would lead us somewhere beyond the fan stays of great,
But I was kicked and left in the dust with the others,
The prophecy unveiled itself,
I was right since the beginning, but my witless gut remained oblivious to my emotionally unstable self and instead stayed behind with the real you.
I grew attached to you, thinking everything for once would finally accumulate into one enjoyable entirety,
But you shattered me both internally and externally,
Now all I can focus on is how to fix these pieces back together.
Before I loose touch upon myself once more,
I ask anyone for forgiveness, begging on my knees for all to please.
I wish to give the little portion of my purity and happiness to you, now, am I considered the wrong and careless one?
Or are you, the heartless form of me?
“I know you, you're nothing but a sad boy.”
Jeremy Duff Aug 2012
Stop. Please. Can't you see at all how this could hurt me?
Underneath this broken frame there is a beating heart. And you're not helping.
Rage is a very despicable feeling. I don't like it.
Very near talking. Spilling. Overloading. It almost feels right.
I** know not why these feelings persist. They are ghosts and I am going to exercise them.
Valiant efforts are useless. Hatred and sadness always win. Always.
And no amount of love I bring, I'm always afraid of the hate my heart brings.
Love is a myth. You will never feel it. Nor will I. Give up.

Everything about you makes me sick. I can't stand feeling this way.
Never did I think this would happen. These thoughts would come back. They were gone.
Deliver me from this darkness. I beg you. Bring me forth from the shadows.
Stop. Please. Can't you see at all how this could hurt me?
Yenson Sep 2019
They call it flooding
sensory overloading and psyche attack
persisting harping on negatives acts created
this to a spineless snowflake would drive insane
they see it as gnawing at a scar re opening wounds for pain
or the torturing style of keeping a prisoner awake while music runs
playing unappreciated sounds over and over and over and over again
them sadist psychos buzzes believing we are doing his head in, cracking it

I see from emotional intelligence
this is psychotic obsessions by an inferior bullies
imagine the damage inherent in minds such as these
imagine how useless inadequate unfulfilled and pained to do this
I feel sorry for them then I find it funny they put in time and effort
then even funnier  that there is no bases in reality or truth to it at all
perhaps sadly I also see there are loads of unhinged people around
then gainfully it all reinforces my confidence and self assurance
and in all modesty the difference between good education an *******

But there is something I do not comprehend
why ingrates have not considered that if their acts impacted
I have choice to leave site and not read their delusion therapies
do they imagine I am masochistic or numb as they erroneously say
I think not its simply narcissists are arrogant and lack introspection
which brings me to a salient assertion which again I state humbly
If I'm going to be driven mad it would not be by a bunch of asinine nutcases and semi illiterate spineless cowards and certified toe-rags
TS Sep 2019
Do you ever feel so overwhelmed that every nerve in your body tightens? Just so angry and anxious that you want to shake the dirt off of every fiber of your being. Crank up the volume in the car till your eardrums vibrate and only hear one constant, extremely loud noise. Clutch the steering wheel, speeding down the highway, eyes darting to the metal side rail, battling the urge to slam into it and flip your car.

How do I fix this? How do I avoid feeling this way from the beginning? It's the smallest things that set this off and it's absolutely suffocating - like a building on your chest, gasping for air. I think being reckless and overloading the senses helps. Sure it can really hurt you, but in that moment, nothing is okay. I just want it all to shut up - all the thoughts running through my head, all the emotions bubbling up. I just want peace. If that means shaking loose all the parts of my brain and filling that adrenaline by speeding down the highway - then so be it.



-t.s.
Mateuš Conrad Apr 2021
what should, could... what one would otherwise
do-not-do...
when language policing is so enforced
that i just... have to... punctuate a stutter or
at least suppose so on
a racial slur, a slurp-up stricken by ice,
and cold... and if lambs had elbows...
this modus operandi of post-colonial peoples
this crucifixion self-laceration
hard-on... which i want a taste of:
bad person, forever... murderer...
since there was no censor at work
around an added G: for giggle's worth...
and an existent R - although in english
there's no trill of it... no thrill, of it so...
nay bovver...
'aggis neeps 'n' tatties...
      otherwise the swede of the suede
is a bit like digesting blue & shoe...
once upon a time two bottles of wine
and i'd be off my rockers in
a little town in Essex where the women
are as fine as nuns and
sooner a cow-*****-******* for milk than...
Juan a-hey-presto... stand... night...
unbearable...
the less *** i've had the more
this... one-armed gambit does... the more...
of the trickery...
not overloading on the use
of a definite article...
but... it's so much easier to curl a hand
into a makeshift ******...
solipsistic *** lives... of... mostly men...
a bit like... regressing / seeing double...
homosexual ***-lives in literature from
the 20th century...
******* literature from the 20th century...
heterosexual antics of men
in the 21st century...
almost a: gleich scheiße,
           anders deckel...
                dekiel.... almost a loan word...
           living in close proximity of: zee schwaben
haben saschisch... aben aben...
perhaps the grammatical
juxtaposing is akin to ancient
Latin, my concern for: anders deckel
or deckel anders...
   same ****, different cover... cover's different...
overstating a fact with
a... conjunction or is it, is, the it...
preposition of... the it is is... Beckett's last
lunch... an hour of sunshine...
keep all chalky 'andy...
beside the apostrophe and the hyphen-conjugate...
glue's not glue:
blue is blue...
green is green...
but there's also... grue...
which is not... y'ella...

          a bluegreen: present grew:
for not yellow...

and i will... entertain... language policing...
over... slurring... past punctuation markers...
like... every time i see a choc-sensation...
no offense - you want the manure skin analogy...
because choc is counter-productive block...
well... let me get on my one remaining
good knee and play tongue the custard
for a Malcolm Noble...

     i would just hate to appease...
it's so ******* boring i'm turning into a boorish
**** of apathy...
by some lineage of argumentation
i've heard the lazy etymological
"argument" that...
from the Caucus... a ****-asian male...
the argument: Paul's a pole...
a pole a Paul's Paul...
            what's missing in... less than germ-
-anic...
                   like it's so simply
Slav(e)...

         less a ****** show & tell a whitey
clad in a bleached ghost necking-tie...
off-on-the-offensive...
   i.e. attack...
      there's a klaus nigge...
      a deutsche photographer...
there's... nigh-ger-ia...
            there's also a Nigh-Ger...
  giggle glutton... gargle... growing pains
in both groin... und gut...

cages i see cages i see tongues in iron
maidens i see souls in hell
and thoughts in limbo...

sound capture... i want to scoop some letters
as almost dead:

  ж = зъ = ż...
    imagine my disbelief at the lack of
orthographical aesthetic...
it only took a dot above the Z
to encourage...

perhaps in braille
perhaps in katakana:

         ⠛⠛⠗

         but letters as atoms of sound...
or methane...
ta-
         ma-
                      -ah
                                   -e contra -eh:
the tetragrammaton my vowel
catcher...
         no surprise of a fire...

hence the surd... like an apostrophe...
extending the saxon
spelling of words into compounds
in the field of chemistry...
a herr adams that wealth of the nations
shamed
jean-paul sartre... lived with his mother
because...

i'll have to leave it to stutter...
overtly punctuated...
no, no surprises...
it's a slur like it might be allowed
for urbanites
and listening to wap folk...
but no: wrap it up
on the horizon... already excluded...
so back to no drawing board...

spikes-up mein jerky chin of a Lee
and says: it's n'ah ah... LEAN...
****** my tongue is harsh but
not towing some unfathomable tie-up...
it's byzantine bilingual
but not... schizoid-teasing-afro-affluence...
like me taking a stab
at living in... h'almighty: Ghana...
visit... Raw-Andy... the Rwandese... plumber...

whereas the romantic affairs
of men are mostly... linear...
the romantic affairs of women
are... overbearingly... cyclic... thus...
what thus?

i'm strapped to a gimmick
and a pseudo expression of lingo...
i'm spineless... death-core....

replenishing the walking abortion(s)...
this ****-job of a man
this scrap heap of egg
and nullifying shells...
like this gargantuan homosexual
**** would never begin
or end with a flower-eater
quest for...
              a drunkard's ****, side...

there aren't enough hours in a day
to want to... beside having to...
listen to bbc radio 3...
once upon a time there was
me guilty of a radio 4 escapade...
but... where there's a t.v.
i'm pretty sure there's no fire-
                           -place....

like the old addition of curating
an attic space: might it be an "also"
cave... without ridicule...
underappreciated...
undermined... this tongue that
does the waggling...
like slurp majestic of floral pattern
*****... well...
i'm tired of the sort of freedom
thus, presented...

here comes the bundle... the bulge...
heaving criss-cross and X's
at the ha ha: stubble pin-point...
yahoo fro Idaho...
this whittle sort
of green patch of land 'n'
h'america..

    my yours truly...
       delving into shelved
secrecies of gluck-winding-back...
clock... there's the admiral...
the hour of our wait...
                the ice creasing a shallot being sliced...
the agony of the wait... the agony
of a yawn... the elongated

tears over an onion...
         if i could claim ownership
for a woman to deposit her
scrutiny of mortality...

yes, this shadow,
yes: this noon...
yes this dwarf of me in shadow grit
drifting toward an apart...

onions for the peel...
i tend to forget what and where
was... "fun"...
i'll hardly want to be left
having inherited
some variation of bias
with either children
or a grandiosity of grand-
   (angwy prefix lady said
so: sock 'em in)

        here's too, a forward...leisurerly
issued: from an Ottoman outpost...
i'm a bad man...
thought language police...
i'm a bad man...
i was inherently bad...
i'm bad i'm bad
i'm terribly... horridly...  anaemic... so...
self-lacerate moi...

cages in their 'eds...
language like afghan
******'s plenty..

better target practice with
those khaki attired
mustard clad foe...
to hell with the **-**-hoes...
i forget what's inclined by stressing
the dynamic of beta...
alpha resources...

as the crucified man said:
if i am not the alpha...
i'm not going to be
the BETA-BUCK-DELUX...

i'll be... last... omega.. "junction"...
yes... i'll be that... just that..
omega malph.
Pepper Dove Feb 2018
Difficulties arise
competing with
all of these
fallacies
surrounding me

We're incomplete
receiving till we overheat
technology's consuming me

Because what you see
it isn't me
it isn't me
system's overloading

We've got to dilate our minds
- disconnect to reconnect -
evaluate your time.
To my muse, that pulled me out of
a still place, where I was a offspring
of my past, placing me here, as a
parent to my future. Where this
present, converts itself into loving
memories, content at the same time,
anticipate the future, working towards
overloading love to live the experience

— The End —