you made me gorge on lies convincing me all the while that it is truth you made me believe that life is beautiful that after each storm life renew better stronger than before what a perfect trap i fell in a prisoner of my lonely life was so desperate i didn't question my intuition warned me again and again i stood up for you like the warrior i am semper fi never leave one behind
once again i find myself alone and abandoned lost in a jungle i do not know punishment i have to endure this was my last, this i promise myself i wish i never met you, *** only knows why i had to meet you i warned you before, forgetting me is impossible replacing me will never happen you have signed yourself to a death sentence by being weak soon you will be married soon you will be a father soon you will crave me you will search for me in every corner then only will you realize my worth my life has been ended so that her life can continue and for your family who does not care for you nor love you sacrificed i hope it is worth it in the end for you
you act like i do not exist i am a stone to be thrown away each day you pray to your *** i wonder my mind tells me that within a year you will be dead? don't know wont be by my hand you are not deserving of that you will call my name in agony a name you have never acknowledged nor accepted you will call my name for the pain and tears that you cause me now will pave the road for you careful you might slip and fall you will call my name i will haunt your dreams but there will be no comfort not in a bottle not in prayer not in fasting not in any drug you trampled on my love and dreams a price needs to be pain not to me, but the balance needs to be restored
i am a unwilling sacrifice for your sick twisted sense of right and wrong, it will not be worth it in the end. you cannot build on someone else's tears a bright future.
another apology this is becoming a deadly game trust vs past experience my mind apologizes to my heart again my heart sacrificed on a ghastly alter a sacrifice for someone else's happiness my tears and broken pieces are the building blocks for a new marriage
the shame i feel i defended an unworthy person in the end you abandoned me like all the others you proved yourself to be a liar of great standing
i do not know what i lack as a person but its is clear i am unworthy of love and companionship my curse to live and to love a lonely life my punishment
So much sadness I struggle to keep a leach I put a face up I am a bad pretender But most only see the anger Few realise it is rooted in tear People ask what i want Most days im so busy fighting A war that never ends Im trying only to survive I dont have the luxury of knowing what i want In most cases i dont get it anyway So why bother to want Why make the effort In the end i will be disappointed I feel a deep desire to just leave Leave and disappear Not death Just gone No one can judge me No one can find fault in me No ons can dictate who i should be No one to criticise me This oasis does not exist I know, silly girl A clown for all to laugh at The world is full of like minded people We must find each other We can create a sanctuary for us We can love each other and heal through nurturing I can dream My dreams unrealistic is all that is mine In a world were a round shape cannot exist
Lets run away Only me myself and i And of course my babies Will anybody look I wonder who will look Will anybody wonder Will they ever find me All the questions over flow If i gambled i would say, NO No one will look, wonder or find me I am here but already gone No one even knows No one sees through my ******* No one questions when i say im fine No one To me this equals my worth I have made no differance being here I am a waste More reason to just disappear
Stop looking at your phone I say to mysef, angry and irretated Inside, my heart holds a flame of hope Mind is wrong Heart declares Bold and sure He loves me He will call or message He cares about me I will hear his ringtone My heart trying to convince my mind But the truth is known by all Mind spirit soul and body
Loved by so few I do not recognise being loved anymore All i feel is pain Pain, anger, bitterness, sadness, shame Shame to admit all the above Only way to heal is to lay bare
During daily life I wonder what you are doing Are you happy or unhappy If i buy you this, will you appreciate it Would you like my taste in gift Do you even want a gift from me I show interest in your likes I bend to accomodate you I allow you my body But .... but ..... In return ..... not enough I crave romance and nurturing From only you This i have communicated Many .... many ... many times But not important to you How you always say ," we have mature love"
In your heart of hearts Am i? Or are you comsumed by turning me into your only real love? Fuelling my anxiety and low self esteem Find myself negotiating with my inner Life will not be so bad if i settle with you It could be much ... much worse Financially you can and will provide This i know But so can i I have been doing it for a long while I need ....... I crave .......