My heart loved and adored
My mind trapped
My body desired
My soul adrift
Confused
I need guidance
90 degree of seperation
To close
Blinded
Need 90 degree of seperation
Time
Willing and able guide
I box you in my mind
We talk
We laugh
I hide like clown
Visiting hours assigned to box
Time observes
Vigilant always
I reserve my decision

You do not love as i love
I crave you
You occupy my every thought
I wither in your absence
You show none of this
You love but not as i do
I make time
No matter how tired
Want you to feel a priority
You serve me excuses
I am saturated
You do not love as i love
I fear neglect
I fear me being forced on a shelf
A trophy covered in dust
Barefoot and pregnant....
Loss of independencr
Your mind is fickle at best
You love but not as i do
Forced to eat your decisions
You do not discuss future plans
You want me for children
You want my body
You do not see me
I love you love an idea of love

Seperation anxiety
Im so tired
Waking in the night
Shiffering with fear
Unable to calm my thoughts
Poetry my sounding board
No judgment
Pure freedom among artist im home

I respect your hustle
I support your hustle
But baby stay in touch
I serve you
Im rewarded with scraps
You want to be chased
But im no priority
You want your ego brushed
Mine you trample

People
My only regret
They use abuse manipulate discard
Trash
Never recycled
Companionship
My weaknes

I hate my life
The lack of meaningful relationships
The lack of connection to people
The lack of fulfillment
I live in pretence
Only way to make it through
I live alone
I eat alone
I sleep alone
I wake alone
I walk alone
I worry alone
I am tired of this emptiness
I hate my life
Oh how i have tried and tested
Gambled and broke
Left misrable heartbroken
Why this winter rose lives
I can't fathom
I fear death
I fear suicide
I fear cutting
But need release
I hate my life

Cant sleep
You took my sanity
Crumpled it up
Satisfied with your work
You tossed it into the fire
Im heartbroken
Im confused

I fear death more than depression
Caught between my vices
Once beautiful chaos
Now it make no sense to me
No one notices behind the clown paint
Falling slipping falling
I reach for you
You reach for excuses
You promised to hold my hand
Im so tired of your lies
Lies, 3 square meals a day
Im over weight
Going on hunger strike

I need to purge
My body resist
Im drowning in my own body of lies
Why wont i release you
Faith died
Hope on her last leg
But holding on
Refusing to yield
I need to purge

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