karin naude Jul 7

Healing from pain
Is easy
The hard
Not measuring others by this
Allowing each new person to bloom
In there season in your life
Only by complete forgiveness time and forgetfullness
Can this happen?
How to get there?
How to heal a lifelong insecurity and abuse
Yes they used me and then discarded
Yes they lied and betrayad me
Yes they healed but abandoned me
Yes they devalued me to fit in there box
Yes i was left to not return

This person is totally not them
I need to stop comparing him to them
Change my deep ingrained selfdestructive
Yet self preservative thinking
My only hope
The voice wispers but what if your feelings are wrong

karin naude Jun 18

Watching families
Celebrate each other
blessing each other
Even the plate throughing fights
A table with settings
A feast prepared
Laughing joking teasing
And endless more moments
Being scolded
Knowing someone cares enough
All this i miss
I avoid the topic
I never acknowledge
Giving it a name makes it real
Dont want others to know
To see my pain
The fear i live with
Yes my god knows
I have wrestled and cried at his feet
I have surrendered
But the fear and pain remain

karin naude Jun 18

When the time comes
Will you be there my love
To hold my hand
And speak words of encouragement
To watch over me
Afraid something will happen
To pray for my recovery
The thought of life without me
Rock bottom life crippling fear
Will my dear one be present

Or will i be at the mercy of strangers
Family i have not
Close friends, yes
But they always return to there own lives
I am merely a pit stop

Left with only memories
Broken dreams
Shatterd wishes
Will only they visit when the time comes

karin naude Jun 6

a pizza after work to watch the sunset
going to the beach to feel the ocean and sand play with my feet
star gazing with moonlit walks over icy grass
a small gift just because

precious insignificant moments
there echo feed and strengthen me
i knew them once
i long to live them again

karin naude Jun 5

i wrestled with GOD
back and forth
why he safe me one more year
no one to share with

all along you waited for me

karin naude Jun 5

the warmth of the sun
the light of the moon
this you are to me
your presence give me hope
your laugh bring me joy
your smile reassures me
love unending
unknown to me
until now
i love you
bibo, my bibo
always be my bibo

karin naude May 29

my struggles
my wounds
my lessons learned
allows me to appreciate what i have now
allows me to live in the moment fully and free
nothing else matters
tomorrow is not promised
the past cannot be changed
all i have is my now. my present moment
this is choose to share with my love and loves
the rest is dust in the wind

nothing else but the now
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