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Restless Soul Nov 29
Ashes rise to the sky
Like fireflies
Reach a height then disappear
Such a short, bright life.


-t.s.
Restless Soul Nov 29
T,

I won't be there in life for all the moments where you might need my advice so here are all the words of wisdom you might need.

1. Don't settle for less than you deserve - there are only a certain number of days you have on this Earth, don't waste them with things that make you feel half full.

2. Find the little moments and celebrate them, don't wait for the big things to enjoy life because every sucess, every joyful moment is worth celebrating.

3. Be patient and open your eyes to see God work in your life. Not everything will happen at the speed you want it to but if you calm your mind and heart, the period in-between great changes will be one of reflection and peace rather than unsteady nervousness.

4. Give your heart space to heal and room to grow. You will have many things in life that touch your heart, good and bad. Give them time to make their mark, learn from them and don't forget the lessons.

5. You will walk around this life as a whole person with spaces to fill. Someone will come along and fit right in those spaces, keep your eyes and heart open to recognize them and let them fill you up with love, acceptance, and joy. But don't forget that you are whole without them, too. You do not need someone to 'complete' you because you are whole all on your own.

6. Go out into the world and experience life before it's gone. Love greatly, pray deeply, give endless, and know that you are special and worth more than than all the riches in the world.

7. Remember those who love you that have gone before you and know that we are watching over you, smiling wide at all your success and crying with you on the hard days. We hope you live a full life but also can't wait to see you when we meet again one day in heaven.

Love, Tom
Restless Soul Nov 29
You built me a casket that was too small and expected I would accept it quietly.




-t.s.
The wind plays a symphony that only the silent can hear.
Close your eyes, put your mind at peace, and open you heart to the sound.
Let the breeze fill your lungs and lift you higher.
Hear the rustle of the leaves high above and the gusts whistling a tune.
Windchimes add percussion while the hum of the earth beneath your feet casts a steady beating of your heart.
Breathe in, breathe out becomes the harmony.
And the wind roars the melody.
You are the conductor, the one in control.
You guide the song through its journey and take a victorious bow.
And when you stand and look out again and wonder why it has to go,
Remember that there will always been another symphony storm



-t.s.
My moods are like the wind. Contains the same elements but expressed in different ways.

Starry sky, crickets chirp, wind skips lightly across your skin
I whisper,
Peace.

Sun beams pierce the windshield, my hair floats recklessly from the open window, music playing,
I sing,
Carefree.

A light drizzle with a light rustle in the trees, grey sky, puddles under foot
I mutter,
Lonely.

Sharp, cold air scratched against your face, snow like glass, shiver in my bones,
I bellow,
Anger.

Chaotic gusts like trains rushing by, thunder crashes, the sky groans in angst
I cry,
Pain.

The breeze softens and floats with the rain, eerie stillness, the world is quiet once more,
I gasp,
Exhausted.

My moods are like the wind. Ever changing, ever growing, and forever calling your name.




-t.s.
The sun rises as do my eyes to greet the view.
I have traveled far and often to be right here with you.

I am mesmerized with a heart so still.
Inside I am empty, searching for the will.

Wonder which vacant street will find the beat of my aching heart,
Hoping for an answer, direction, or a start.

Letting go is never easy even when you have the space,
Growing to which I am unsure but I long to see its face.

The look of darkness, the smoke fills my lungs
I know the waking nightmares just begun.

Do not blind me with your beauty, I will never be impressed.
Instead be honest, whole, and true, a fate I will caress.

I live with you for my whole life, and feel my heartbeat start
No matter how I try to flee, we shall never drift apart.




-t.s.
Restless Soul Sep 19
I feel things fiercely. A whole new level of pain, sadness, and very occasionally joy. When my heart breaks, it falls from the top of a mountain to the deepest abyss of the earth. When I am hurt, I feel the pain of ten-thousand thorns piercing through my skin, a hundred poisonous snake bites, and 24 years of self deprecating thoughts all stirred into a single tear. Some might call it dramatic, but if they knew the impact it had on my thoughts, my smile,my whole life , they would eat those words as fast as they spit them out.

She's just being dramatic.

She's just too extreme.

She doesn't have control of her emotions.

You make it sound like I chose this, like I continue to choose this. When something "small" happens, like a friend not turning out to who you thought they were, or a moment not living up to its expectations, my whole world quakes. I cannot help it. I can't fix it. I didn't pick this. I didn't want to feel so impacted by the smallest movement. This is the way I was created and believe me, I am trying so hard to fix it - more than I could ever explain. The process of caring enough to fight instead of ending my life is something that might come easy for you, but takes a lot of convincing for me. Please try to understand. And if you don't, that's okay. I don't want to be here anyway.



-t.s.
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