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  Oct 4 eve
Sylvia Plath
You do not do, you do not do
Any more, black shoe
In which I have lived like a foot
For thirty years, poor and white,
Barely daring to breathe or Achoo.

Daddy, I have had to **** you.
You died before I had time ----
Marble-heavy, a bag full of God,
Ghastly statue with one gray toe
Big as a Frisco seal

And a head in the freakish Atlantic
Where it pours bean green over blue
In the waters off the beautiful Nauset.
I used to pray to recover you.
Ach, du.

In the German tongue, in the Polish town
Scraped flat by the roller
Of wars, wars, wars.
But the name of the town is common.
My ****** friend

Says there are a dozen or two.
So I never could tell where you
Put your foot, your root,
I never could talk to you.
The tongue stuck in my jaw.

It stuck in a barb wire snare.
Ich, ich, ich, ich,
I could hardly speak.
I thought every German was you.
And the language obscene

An engine, an engine,
Chuffing me off like a Jew.
A Jew to Dachau, Auschwitz, Belsen.
I began to talk like a Jew.
I think I may well be a Jew.

The snows of the Tyrol, the clear beer of Vienna
Are not very pure or true.
With my gypsy ancestress and my weird luck
And my Taroc pack and my Taroc pack
I may be a bit of a Jew.

I have always been scared of you,
With your Luftwaffe, your gobbledygoo.
And your neat mustache
And your Aryan eye, bright blue.
Panzer-man, panzer-man, O You ----

Not God but a *******
So black no sky could squeak through.
Every woman adores a Fascist,
The boot in the face, the brute
Brute heart of a brute like you.

You stand at the blackboard, daddy,
In the picture I have of you,
A cleft in your chin instead of your foot
But no less a devil for that, no not
Any less the black man who

Bit my pretty red heart in two.
I was ten when they buried you.
At twenty I tried to die
And get back, back, back to you.
I thought even the bones would do.

But they pulled me out of the sack,
And they stuck me together with glue.
And then I knew what to do.
I made a model of you,
A man in black with a Meinkampf look

And a love of the rack and the *****.
And I said I do, I do.
So daddy, I'm finally through.
The black telephone's off at the root,
The voices just can't worm through.

If I've killed one man, I've killed two ----
The vampire who said he was you
And drank my blood for a year,
Seven years, if you want to know.
Daddy, you can lie back now.

There's a stake in your fat black heart
And the villagersnever liked you.
They are dancing and stamping on you.
They always knew it was you.
Daddy, daddy, you *******, I'm through.
eve Oct 4
find someone
you can think of
  and talk to
     for hours on end
both of you
take trips
  to different dimensions
exploring each other
through the mind
with this person
  in your life
you forget
the most important things,
things you're looking forward to
you can latch onto
this person
when life is too hard to contemplate
this person goes out of their way
to pick you up from the ocean's deep end
upon request,
they ask you how your days have been
without you by their side
they instantly regret
all the plans they've made
that exclude you
they are so deeply vested
in you
despite the water below
that slowly pulls them in
above the waters
you lay
awake
that is all that matters to them.
eve Oct 4
she lays awake at night
too much is on her mind
someone her age
should be sleeping the pain away
but
in desperate attempts to rid feelings
she experiments
  with the things she disproves
to satisfy the present
the past is draining her
from inside out
she feels trapped
at home
entangled in time
she feels time is like
the ropes of life;
far too slippery,
light years away from freedom
she must deal with life's challenges
or she'll be eaten away
like a plant that receives no water
in a week, they're long gone;
dry and unsatisfied.
eve Oct 4
two people; "total opposites"
one reflection; "twins"
both people
obtain similar views towards life
both people
crash and burn
when near each other
one attitude is shared between the two; one heart split in two;
one mirror reflects one
the dying question is
who is who?
eve Sep 28
music plays in my ears
my thoughts are laced with the rhythm
and lyrics
while my physical body is at a standstill
with my mind
and my heart
i cannot render anything
nothing makes sense anymore
without this particular person
even though i’ve lost this person long ago
i foster the craving of their presence
lost i am
lost.
eve Aug 29
every now & then
my mind is sprinkled with powder dust
i can barely make out...tell apart
reality from
fantasy
it all seems too much
thinking hurts
feelings misguided
goals unreached
during this moment of time
i slip through the cracks of roads
that lead ordinary people to success
eve Aug 13
“if you want something very badly,
set it free.
if it comes back to you,
it is yours forever.
if it doesn’t,
it was never yours to begin with.”
this is all because
everything happens for a reason
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