the feel of fingertips on the skin
the rush of blood surprises
a spark that sets the soul ablaze
the ticking clock stops turning
eruptively raging fires keep burning
forging a path in dewy maze
the melded body realizes
consumption is from within

Everything for everyone
Nothing left for me
I speak to walls
My voice makes zombies
My life, unrecognizable
Broken by family
My love has twisted all my hopes and dreams
A cracked shell of shards
Remnants of what happy was
Before I realized I was happy
Used up, worn out, and discarded
There is only so much trying
There are only so many tears
My pain is not yours to take
My crazy is no one else's burden
Open and empty carcass
Picked clean by harsh words
Not even my pain is my own
Claimed by others to fuel their anger
Their growing hatred
All I did was love
Now I'm lost eternally
Alone surrounded by people
No trust, not for my broken innards
No comfort, no solace
I am chewed up and shat out
Invisible and inconsequential
I am alone in a house full of people
Where only I say "I love you"
Where only I need more
I need purpose
I need to be free to feel what I feel
Now, with that freedom removed permanently,
How can the status quo remain
I, once filled with love, am empty
Eyes dulled
Mind devoid of substance
Heart as cold as a glacier
A shell, numb to the outside
Motions without thought
Time drudges on
Drained of everything
My last breath, too, goes unnoticed

the world sees me how they want me to be
not how I truly am
I've shown you the same as all the rest
yet you see through the facade
you see a soul that I've kept hidden
a heart that's behind bars
the spirit forever broken
and to you, I am beautiful

I am what you need to make you smile
I believe in the best parts of you
like you believe in the best parts of me
to you I am not lost
the storms I have a weathered
have not broken me
even though I still seem cracked
in my reflection

He asked to see my words
Joy in unexpected interest
But to share a glimpse inside the emptiness
The truth I've hidden for years
The fact that my feelings lay bare in ink
Though no longer reside in my soul

He asked to see my words
Answers to unasked questions
The truth of my daily struggle
The demons dancing within
The reason my heart is dessicated
The shame of my reality

He asked to see my words
To learn I do not trust
To see the dark prevail
So different from what I show
Frightened to lose someone else
Someone I dared to pretend to love

He asked to see my words
Hidden within is truth
The fact I try to no avail
That I only betray myself
To risk a loss of one so dear
There will be no recovery from nonacceptance

He asked to see my words

Misty sunrise beautiful
Pale gold and icy blue
Steeped in iridescence
Each color alive within the other
Today I saw love
And it felt like you

It turned cold quickly
Almost skipping Autumn
Reluctant to wear a jacket
Or a hat, or gloves
Too distant for my arms
To keep him warm against my chest
He said he never wore a scarf
But if he did, he would go Dr. Who style
I had to laugh as i looked up the reference
Fifteen feet of mismatched stripes
Maybe not the stripes, he said
I happened upon a huge skein of yarn
It felt like a warm blanket in the oddest,
Most interesting colors
Manly, neutral, and perfect for Fall
So i crocheted a scarf and pictured him warm
The pattern in those colors was a mess
I chuckled at why they would make such an ugly pattern
I crocheted every stitch with love
Through arthritic hands that felt no pain
I crocheted a scarf, stopping only when it dragged the floor when i put it on
Two feet short, but ridiculously long
I bordered it in shades of green to match
Not realizing it was variegated into Brown's and maroons along the way
But it matched the odd mix of colors
And finally made it almost pretty to me
I covered myself in perfume
And put it around my neck
As I turned I caught a glimpse in the mirror
It wasn't a horrible amalgamation of hideous colors
It was camouflage, with a matching border
I laughed so hard, and felt so bad
My hillbilly in camouflage
Wearing a scarf way too long
Maybe he would hate it
Maybe he won't wear it
I knew better
So, I packed up his bag of gifts
And sent it to the frozen mountains
He never wore a scarf
He opened it and put it on
It smells like You, he said in blssful remembrances
It's definitely camouflage, he laughed
It's perfect baby, I'll wear it whenever it's cold
And in the picture he sent
I saw its beauty
It wasn't in the patterns of crisscrossing colors
It wasn't in the accidental way
The border perfectly complimented the body
It wasn't in the fact that he would be able
To wrap himself up in me to stay warm
It was in that picture
It was the joy that filled his smile
It was in his eyes that danced in love
It was in the fact that he believes
Because i made it, it's perfect
Yes, i accidentally crocheted a thirteen foot camouflage scarf
And he loves that I can keep him warm.

The air smelled sweet of promises
The quill wet and ready
The seat sat empty
The page lay bare
Sweet promises turn decayed expectations
Rotting delusions
Spill through quill
From self-inflicted gaping wounds
The worms seem happy
Dancing in the meat of yesterday's dreams

Okay Brdies
Flap your wings and repeat after me:

I pledge to never leave a Brd behind:

♥ if you need a shoulder
♥ if you need an ear
♥ if you need to vent
♥ in times of fear
♥ if you need understanding
♥ if you need a friend
♥ if you think you need advice +
♥ if you're on the mend
♥ if there's any trouble
♥ if you're in a bind
♥ if you've gone all cuckoo and lost your mind
♥ if your soul needs healing
♥ if you're a moody mess ++
♥ if you need SHOPPING to heal your stress
♥ if you feel alone
♥ if you're out of sorts
♥ if you need a laugh we're all good sports
♥ if you have writer's block
♥ if you need distracting
♥ if you need a break we'll escape through crafting+++

Now we Brds are bound in honor
With a heart of a poet to guide our flights
Never again in isolation
The Flock is here with great delight :)

So much to say
Yet I fumble at the start
Tripping over my tongue
Falling  into my heart

Distance holds possibilities
As life plays
With dreams yet unseen

How can I be honest
When it is too much to bear
When all I can do is pretend

Please don't ask me how I feel
I can't say the words
It's almost too hard to comprehend

We were only kids
When that look in your eye
Sent me whirling for reasons unknown

Agitated by your smile
Or your bothersome ways
I wouldn't understand until I was grown

Now that I know
What I should have known
About that blonde haired angel-faced kid

I think back
To the hell in your eye
And I know what I guess I always did

So here we are
The two of us older
No longer hiding what our bodies betray

Yet there is no freedom
No joyous reunion
Only fear that my heart's already strayed

How can I be honest
When it is too much to bear
When all I can do is pretend

Please don't ask me how I feel
I can't say the words
It's almost too hard to comprehend

Sometimes I get the briefest glimpse
A glimpse of a boy
Of a child
Of a man
I see a smile
Meant for me but accidental
I hear a laugh
Slip softly between warm lips
And I sigh
I sigh a sigh of contentment
For in the brevity of your laughter
I find peace
And in that instant
Your demons are swallowed by my love
They burn in their own breath
They wither in the warmth of my embrace
Yes, the child you left behind
Still wants to play
When you forget to be grown
When you let the world slip away
Finding that the past no longer exists
The future is still beyond reach
And in this moment
This perfect little moment
With me, you believe you can be happy
And you sigh....

I waste too much time
Thinking about you
Talking to you
Sleeping with you
I waste too much time
With you in my dreams
With you in my heart
Sharing a soul with you
They say time is wasted
When one isn't being productive
When there are things that need doing
So, I waste too much time
Sharing moments lost in love
Consumed with your essence
With what ifs and what could be
I linger in the most peaceful of places
Yes, I waste too much time
Being happy with you

A heart skinned alive
Just to prove a love
A soul grated by self-loathing and denial
Finding acceptance for what's shattered
Giving all that's inside 'til you're empty
And all the flesh 'til you're numb
Waiting for a chance
To believe in unspoken promises
Risking, losing your soul to love a shadow
Trusting beyond reason
Yet not at all
Twisted frowns can't be called a smile
And pain is not tantamount to joy

here's to all the beautiful people
with cracked facades and glorious souls
to the ones transparent and forgotten
who's mind's hear in rainbows and see in music
here's to the true odists and bards
who share their laughter and shine through pain
to all the invisibles within which the only true beauty resides
may you always share your truth
may we never become blinded to your grace

Traces of you line every moment silver,
     even in my darkest day
Traces of you can make the empty linger,
     the second you walk away

Traces of you are my hidden treasure,
     a joy that is all my own
Traces of you are too fine to measure,
     yet brighten my darkness alone

Traces of you make life worth living,
     the birth of my very smile
Traces of you make ease of forgiving,  
     though memories tend to beguile

Traces of you turn hell into glory,  
     then turn back the other way
Traces of you rewrite the story,
     every second of every day

Traces of you line every moment silver,
     even in my darkest day
Traces of you can make the empty linger,
     the second you walk away

Traces of you are my hidden treasure,
     a joy that is all my own
Traces of you are too fine to measure,
     yet brighten my darkness alone

Traces of you make life worth living,
     the birth of my very smile
Traces of you make ease of forgiving,  
     though memories tend to beguile

Traces of you turn hell into glory,  
     then turn back the other way
Traces of you rewrite the story,
     every second of every day

Traces of you line every moment silver,
     even in my darkest day
Traces of you can make the empty linger,
     the second you walk away

Traces of you are my hidden treasure,
     a joy that is all my own
Traces of you are too fine to measure,
     yet brighten my darkness alone

Traces of you make life worth living,
     the birth of my very smile
Traces of you make ease of forgiving,
     though memories tend to beguile

Traces of you turn hell into glory,  
     then turn back the other way
Traces of you rewrite the story,
     every second of every day

Traces of you line every moment silver,
     even in my darkest day
Traces of you can make the empty linger,
     the second you walk away

Traces of you are my hidden treasure,
     a joy that is all my own
Traces of you are too fine to measure,
     yet brighten my darkness alone

Traces of you make life worth living,
     the birth of my very smile
Traces of you make ease of forgiving,
     though memories tend to beguile

Traces of you turn hell into glory,  
     then turn back the other way
Traces of you rewrite the story,
     every second of every day

Traces of you line every moment silver,
     even in my darkest day
Traces of you can make the empty linger,
     the second you walk away

Traces of you are my hidden treasure,
     a joy that is all my own
Traces of you are too fine to measure,
     yet brighten my darkness alone

Traces of you make life worth living,
     the birth of my very smile
Traces of you make ease of forgiving,  
     though memories tend to beguile

Traces of you turn hell into glory,  
     then turn back the other way
Traces of you rewrite the story,
     every second of every day

With all the innocence of old friends, wrapped in silent hoping, knowing but afraid to believe.  The heart beats a bit faster as the words become free. No longer chained in what came before. Transformed by insight, a vision sent to each of us alone.  And in those words were hidden truths that underlay what came before.  A true affection melts in heat into a fire that burns free.  

With a breath was lit
What had always smoldered there
Ablaze on a wire

Tentative in this new-found freedom. We touch delicately, lingering on the words that electrify the flesh and liquify defenses.  Steam wafting in the air as emotion meets desire.  Intoxicated by the ethereal beauty of it all. Left reeling, hearts traded, souls tangled and the lascivious nature of what was once hidden ravages the senses.

Gone to live her life
Adventures unknown excite
Remnants of childhood
Lost between was and will be
Emerging victorious

Lovely words meant for another
A heart alone again
Shadowed by the bright reflection
Of your love for her instead
Romantic notions mused by her
In words meant once for me
Now, my eyes steal glances
Of a love I never meant to see
And so I wish you worlds of joy
A lifetime of togetherness in love
Truth be told, I mean each word
As it's you I'm thinking of
So I read all your romantic notions
Of your love for her instead
As I sit here in the darkness
A heart alone...again

It was the child within the woman
Who could not let the heart believe
That a mere man could be so trusted
Without reason or reprieve

So they tussled through emotion
To see his thoughtfulness unveiled
But left invisible, unnoticed
It was the child who had prevailed

So the woman's barren heart
Bled in oceans on the floor
As once again she was transparent
Behind the tears which she endured

And so this man who claimed to love her
Called her Goddess, his living dream
Proved indubidably that in the heart
However pure, lives perfidy

Invisible she
Sheets of anger like a storm
Blinding as they sting

heart beats
in the hand of another
grated like cheese
forsaken
unrecognizable
and utterly...

                                                     ­           unlovable

He sings
And she loves him more deeply
He croons
And lulls her in peace
A bard
Who sings for his Goddess
His voice
Keeps her heart skipping beats

He speaks
In hushed tones of a lover
He watches
With love in his heart
He sees
The joy that he brings Her
He knows
That they'll never part

He can't
Understand how he moves her
He'll sing
'Til she tells him to cease
His voice
Like a choir of angels
She swoons
Inhibitions release

He sings
And she loves him more deeply
He watches
With love in his heart
A bard
Who sings for his Goddess
He knows
That they'll never part

Tsu.co is a social media platform with user owned content, that pays you.  You have to be invited to join, so consider this your invitation. My short code is PrttyBrd. My page there is tsu.co/prttybrd.  Look it up and see for yourself. It's another way to get your original art, pics, poetry, stories, etc. You can post links to your page here as well; driving more poetry lovers to view your awesomeness.  ☺☺☺

An idea
Formed from nothing
Grips the mind
Squeezing
Until reality is unrecognizable
Pain seeps in
Through self-inflicted wounds
Perception
Once sunny
Now in shadows
Fighting hard to see the light
To step into it, again
To see through it like before
The mind leads down twisted paths
To find its way back to the beginning
A new light
Yet, shadows linger in hidden corners
Tainted yet free
Thought, imagination, and fear
The worlds most powerful words

The paths that lay ahead call
Singing harmoniously to the soul
A chorus of whispers like flitting wings
Opinions, unsolicited and unwelcome
The future is seen in logical deduction
Two steps down this road
Five steps down that
Some are well lit
While others sit in the darkness of the unknown
Eenie, meenie, miney, and moe
Life is ruled by a despot
Every choice, each minute decision
Made by one
There is no team in, I
Take a deep breath
One foot in front of the other
The options are limitless
Final say and fate accepted
There is no one to blame
When responsibility lies within
Change direction at will
Enjoy the unexpected
Each life a maze
Each with its own tyrant

Wildfire, camouflaged
In a shell of normalcy,
She will consume you

Razor-sharp fingernails scrape layers of flesh from eyelids
Splaying them eternally open
Can't unsee what's been seen
Can't unhear the sounds
Or unsmell the odor that rots in nostrils, infecting every rose
There's no stopping when they all stink the same
Can't undo, can't undo
Safety in bile where nightmares are birthed in reality,
In places that fester like the remnants of the lids that blinded
Bleach doesn't clean untruths
Fire doesn't  burn hot enough to mask pain
Blisters seem like hope
Hope to heal
Hope to resemble something familiar
Peeling skin back with teeth
Wishing for them to bleed
When scalding tubfulls try to cleanse
the grime that sludges through a broken mind
Attached to a heart mindlessly lashed in the shame of

Love

Challenges unspoken
Break silence into thunder
Denial looms heavy between us
Though there is no denying
To pretend it does not exist
To lie, even to ourselves, seems blasphemous
Hearts so united that they beat as one
Cannot be ripped one from another
To do so would render both lifeless
Too frail to sustain alone
Yet so strong in tandem we cannot be broken

Changing slowly, painfully
Shedding skin
Raw and new
Naked and bleeding
So long to heal
Longer to toughen
Layers turned scars
Hide a silenced heart

There is no way to prepare
for the day that the reality of monsters
lies squarely on your shoulders.

One day
in one split second,
it will never be the same.

Drowning in verbosity
Lost in time
For I cannot express
In prose or rhyme
The beauty that enlivens
Kindred by chance
A victim by choice
or circumstance?
A victimless crime?
A passionate flare
Unexpected rawness
Enter, enter if you dare
Challenges accepted
Without hesitation
Jump into darkness
Accede consummation
Oh my pretty, pretty one
Whatever have we done
With hell deep in your eyes
The claiming has begun
Every calculation
And each strategic move
An action for an action
Every step it does behoove
How easily the game is played
When lines are drawn in black
Maneuvering each bitty piece
Not giving any slack
Training like a solider
Satisfying every need
Holding on to nothing
The past promised to impede
Eating demons in the flesh
A Knight in rusted armor
Feeding darkness innocence
Inherently a charmer
There you are so handsome
Seemingly sweet and kind
Hidden far behind those eyes
Lives a *****, evil mind

I wrapped your cracks in my bleeding heart...


you're welcome

he searches though i am not lost
he worries when i am not close
he fears what keeps me away

though i am with him always
though he is my calm sea
though my heart lays within him