My favorite time to go to the ocean-
Is when the crowds leave,
The umbrellas go away,
And the darkness of night falls upon the sand.
The stars glisten like the diamonds they are,
And I just sit,
And listen to the waves pound against the shore.
Because no one else is around,
They tell me their secrets,
And speak to me stories of long journeys.
I listen for hours until I become tired,
It makes me sad to leave,
But I can only wish,
To come back tomorrow.

Help me,
She said
What were you wearing?
They asked.
What do you mean?
I need your help!
I bet you wanted it.
You shouldn't have dressed like you did
It's your fault.

When did the words *help me
Get lost in translation?
Those two words turn into
Why should I help you?
When they should be,
I'm so sorry
How can I help?
I guess I will never understand.

After all that work
After all the fight,
I find myself
Back where I started.
Do I have any fight left in me?

Tread lightly on this path
Walked a long road from depression
To almost happiness.
Why?
Why must you come and ruin it
You've thrown boulders
Into my path
You've made me turn around
Heading back to the dark place.

6 months
It said.
A trial run.
If you don't like it,
You can send it back.

I guess our love was kind of like that.

Politics
At least that what they call it
I call it lies.
I call it The Cold War
The Holocaust
The war between the states.

I'm here to help you
At least that's what they say
But all I hear
Are all the broken families
Cries of children that haven't eaten
The graduate that is jobless and depressed

I want to be your next president
But from all of their mouths,
All I hear is
I'm here for my own gain.
That's all I hear
From every **** politician.

The words slipped out of my mouth
Before I had time to think.
I'm sorry for what I said,
I know you're on the brink
Please forgive me.

Don't tell me I'm strong
And then beat me down.
Don't tell me I'm smart
And then attack me with cleverness.
Don't tell me I'm pretty
And then make me feel ugly.
Don't tell me I'm honest
And then make me tell a lie.
Don't tell me I'm brave
And then treat me like a coward.
Don't tell me I'm kind
And then make me fight.

Don't tell me these things,
And then leave me to die.

Step into the light,
They said.
Open the blinds,
And maybe you'll find your way.
The sun shall guide you
To wherever you need to be,
The happiness you've dreamed of
For all of eternity*

But my friend,
I replied.
The life in which I live,
I am satisfied.
The moon guides me throughout the night,
And to be honest,
It is best if I stay out of the light.
The darkness has consumed me,
We have become one
In fact,
Now I can see better in the dark,
Than I can in the sun.

I walked away without a word more,
Into the darkness
In which I continued fighting my war.

I lose
Bits and pieces
Of myself
Every night.

I only realize
Now-
When so much
Is already gone.

You took something from me-
I'm not sure what.

I've been frantically searching,
But I don't know what I'm looking for.

Something about me is missing,
And it's taken away my smile.

You took something from me-
And I'd like it back, please.

If you could tell me
That everything
Would be okay tomorrow,
Maybe I'd believe you.
Maybe for once,
I could pretend
That the future held hope.
So please
Tell me all your hopes and dreams
So that I may dream, too.

She used the fall and winter
To **** off
Any unnecessary leaves
So that when spring came,
She could bloom again.

"Why don't you call?"
They ask,
Even though
Every time I do,
It's always something new.

I grew out of toxic behavior
I don't miss the screaming
And the emotional trauma.
She was always scheming.
And I believe in karma.

This life isn't easy.
I'd rather be alone.
But it's hard without-
A place to call home.

Oh life
Is a beautiful, devastating mess
In a wonderful, insane world
With terrible, lovely people
With deadly, lively personalities

Because our lives
Can't be described by one word.
We are too complex
We, humans,
Are amazing and awful
All at once.

I swear to you-
Go to any ocean or mountain view,
And I'll be there.
I might be sitting in a chair,
Or perhaps upon a rock,
Or maybe I'm just standing,
Admiring.

You will know it's me,
By the way I am looking at the beauty.
I will be smiling.
My eyes will be shining.
I might even close my eyes,
And just listen to the songs of the world.
You will recognize me immediately.

Join me.
Join me and we will admire together.
Come find me,
And sit beside me.
We will love the world together.
All you have to do is recognize me.

I promise you.
Go somewhere beautiful,
And I'll be there, too.

He fell in love
With the brightest star
In the sky.
The way she glowed
Just for him-
A celestial deity
Shining down on him
As he worshipped at her altar.

She loved him too,
This human.
He made her laugh
With the things he would say.
He made her feel worthy
With the way he worshipped her,
But
The human man was broken.

The brightest star in the sky
Watched the human man
Walk in the shadow of his past trauma-
A constant onyx cloud
Hanging over his head.
The man was beautiful.
The man was so loving.
The man was broken.  

Night by night,
The celestial deity provided light
To the man she loved
Chasing away each shadow as it came.
The light leaving her,
She became dimmer on each night-
Giving pieces of herself
To save the human man from the darkness.

One summer night,
The celestial deity
Looked down upon the man
Who in turn was looking up at the stars.
He was glowing.
The brightest human on earth-
But he did not smile.
He did not show love to his star.  

"Why do you not shine for me?"
He asked.
"I loved you for your beauty,
But now I can barely see you."
The star made an attempt
To respond with a flicker of light,
But it was gone.
She had given it all to him.

When she saw her love
The next night,
He was gazing with a look of awe
Out towards the Eastern sky,
And she watched with despair as
He fell in love
With the brightest star
In the sky.

It is becoming more difficult
It seems;
To hide behind the walls
I built years ago.
The dark cages behind my eyes.
The pain that I trapped,
Hoping it would never escape.
But there is a crack in my walls,
And I am vulnerable.
From the hammer
To which
Only you hold.

Maybe the only thing
My heart can feel
Is nervousness

The days get longer,
It seems,
With less and less excitement
Life becomes boring.

And the late nights cease,
To wake up for the early sun,
For another long day.
It never really seems to end.

Here I am-
Trapped in a cycle
Of my own unhappiness.
Where I torture myself.

Always put a smile on my face
Under every circumstance
These wonderful children
I've been blessed to be around
So much they've taught me
Mostly, love does not always need words.

I have taken on so many identities,
Worn so many masks,
Covered up my emotions,
For so long.
I do not even know
Who I am anymore.

And then you were gone-
No goodbyes,
No last words-
You floated away out of existence.
It was as if you never were there.
And I missed you-
Missed you in a way only I could.
I missed the torn half of my heart,
That seemed to crumble to dust,
When I found out you were gone.
And I cried.
It was a hurricane sweeping the pain away.
I knew I'd be alone,
And I hated it.
Because I was your daughter.
And I was alone,
Left by my best friend-
My father.
And you left me here

The current brings me in safely
As I was drowning
And although I was deep
In the crystal clear water,
The waves coax me back to shore
Where you wait for me-
Arms wide open.

My feet touch the sand
And I run to you
Because you make me forget
About the past
About the high tide
That almost killed me.
And I am safe.

My words,
Like a whisper,
The world drowning them with noise.
Written on paper instead-
Where they may live forever.

Her dreams-
Were too loud
And when she was told to be quiet,
She listened.
Now she just sits in silence.

Don't forget my smile,
Especially on my rough days,
Don't forget my laugh,
When we were being rowdy,
Don't forget my friendliness,
Even when people didn't deserve it,
Don't forget my quirky habits,
That I always found fault in,
Don't forget how I chose my words,
And how I made every sentence count,
Don't forget how I wrote,
The flow of words on paper,
Don't forget my favorite things,
All the colors and my jersey numbers,
Don't forget my obsessions,
The many hours of reading,
Don't forget my love for others,
And how I was fascinated with other lives.
Don't forget my love for food,
The way I would criticize everything,
Don't forget my life,
Don't forget how much I lived,
Don't forget me,
When I'm gone.

I try my best at everything.
I push myself to my greatest lengths.
I always get back up,
When I fall down.
Something good may happen,
Every once in a while.
And I feel okay for some time.
But then it happens again.
I fall.
I tumble.
I crash and burn.
I cannot stop falling.
I cannot stop failing.

I stumbled,
And I fell down a dark hole.
I ended up with plenty of bruises,
As I hit the jagged edges on the walls.
I fell for a very long time.
But,
I finally hit the bottom.
It was the worst pain-
I had ever experienced.
But all that mattered-
Was that I was alive.

I'm an angel,
They said.
But they don't know me.

Wanderer,
Where are you going?

Are you making a home here,
Or will you explore the world?

Will you stay and tend the fire,
Or will you fly too close to the sun?

Do you wish to sit idly as time passes,
Or will you run with the bulls?

Is a life of no change what you want,
Or will you seek a great perhaps?

Wanderer,
Were you meant for this life?
Were you not meant to be free?

Maybe I'm sad
Because I thought-
I was worth more
Than
You treated me.

We use our pens and pencils
As a way to fight the injustices of this world-
It is our biggest weapon.

People will read,
They will understand,
But they will not do.

I will write,
Because I understand,
Because it is the only thing I can do.

What else can I do-
When high society plans against us?
Pitting us against each other.

They watch us fight
They watch us suffer.
As they sit upon their thrones.

To my friends-
Please read,
Please write,
Please fight.

We need to count on each other to win this war.

How do you know when the journey is over?
When to say goodbye,
When to move on?
The complicated emotions I feel
Do not give me a clear answer.
Perhaps-
The journey doesn't have to end?
If only.
If only.

Oh my
Oh why
Can't you learn?
A friend who uses you
Ends up abusing you
Is not a friend at all
As much as they have you believe
They could care less if you leave
They just want special treatment
But in the end
Only your time was spent
They don't care
So beware
I suggest you stop going down this path
**And get your head out of their ***!

The music inside my head
Never goes away
Sometimes it's a lovely melody
Sometimes it's in disarray

I never quiet my mind
Because that is where she lives-
My creative self,
Her home for all these years.

But lately she has been silent,
And I do not know why.
I wonder if she's broken,
If she's still alive.

I miss her everday,
Every beautiful moment.
She's been with me forever,
My own special poet.

I hope she will return,
She made me feel alive.
To my creative self-
You don't need to hide.

I want to feel alive again,
Writing poem after poem
She had all the words for me,
She made my mind a home.

She looked everywhere-
For passion,
For whatever meaning to life-
Happiness.

And yet,
She lost who she was
In the journey
Of finding herself.

Let my words reach you
As your words reach me,
Let us teach
Each other lessons
Through our writing
Let us help each other
Through hard times
And understand each other
When we make no sense.
Let us write poetry.

I feel it in my bones.
I need it.
I want it.
But I know I can't.

The urge is so great.
Will I falter?
I know I must stop.
But it seems to make me feel better.

The thought of it
Tapping against my thick skull
I must not falter.
But I always do.

No matter how much love
I put into it-
It still fell apart
In my hands.
Nothing but ashes now.
Is it wishful thinking-
To hope for a phoenix?

Tell me more lies
Tell me the story.
You swore on a heart
But you don't mind to break
Because what is the promise,
If you no longer have a heart?

And then in the end,
She collapsed into herself.
And she cried.
She cried like there was nothing left.
Because there wasn't.
She was alone.
Or so she thought.
Because when she closed her eyes,
She was surprised by what she saw.
Everyone she had ever lost was right there.
They grasped her tight in an embrace.
She realized then
That even when she felt alone,
The memories of the ones she loved,
Would stay by her side forever.
And she would never be alone.

To be a poet is more than-
Fancy words,
Alliteration,
Onomatopoeia,
Stanzas and rhythms,
Or even an excellent metaphor.

I believe a true poet-
Is honest.

Have a little faith
A little bit of strength
And before I know it-
I might be able to escape.

The faith doesn't come easy
And the weakness fights against me
But I rage against my shackles
And suddenly, I am free.

In the silence,
I find every broken piece of myself
Their sharp edges cut me until I bleed
Forcing me to drop them to the floor-
The pain too much to bear.
Perhaps it is not worth it
To repair the shattered remains of my past.
The pieces on the floor
Taunt me to try again.

The silence here is deafening,
And still I do not whisper for aid.

The best nights of my life
Have been on cold, bleak nights-
My breath a cloud of smoke
And my face numb.
The nights when the stars and moon
Would look down upon me
As I laughed and danced for them.
I could never feel my body,
But my soul was alive.
On those nights,
I never felt alone-
Wrapped around a lover
Or laughing with a friend.
The sounds of silence never unnerving-
Because how could it truly be silent
When the stars wove such beautiful tales?

This is the end of the beginning,
For it will never be more-
This is the end of the burdens,
You gave me to endure.
This is the end of a friendship-
That I didn't want anyway, before.
This is the end of a nice girl-
Who always opened stressful doors.
This is the end of the lies-
Because of the attention you were looking for.
This is the end of it all-
Because, I just can't do it anymore.

I am unsure of where to go.

I was always told
That life would show me the way,
And Frost told me-
To take the road less traveled.
But the roads do not seem clear to me.
Where do I go?
What do I do?
How do I find my way?

Tell me-
What happens when you cage a wild animal?
Does it forget what it is meant to be?

Does it forget to hunt,
And gather food,
And search for its prey?

Does it forget that it is no longer free,
That it can no longer reach-
Past the glass enclosure?

Does it forget its instincts,
Its defense mechanisms,
How it protects itself?

Does it forget the family it once had,
Its home,
Where safety came easily?

Tell me-
What happens when you cage a living being?
It forgets what it is meant to be.

I slowly reveal myself-
The thick molasses starts to thin.
I look to them,
I expect judgment.
They just look at me with listening eyes,
And that's when I know.
I am free.
Thanks to them, I am free to be me.