loving you was my
favorite thing to do
because it
felt so good
loving you
was like breathing
to me
I didn't need a book
to know how to do it
I just
do
loving you
felt so natural
like it was something
I knew how to do
for a long time
and I felt giddy
thinking about my
newfound ability
it feels as if my heart
was always under
a warm blanket
so safe
so secure
longing for yours
under the covers
it feels as if my hands
we're naked whenever
it was not linked with yours
it feels as if every breath
I take was being clouded
with you
you
you
if only
you knew how
to love me too
because for you
loving me was
learning a new language
playing the piano
driving a car
it just doesn't come
as naturally
as walking
talking
breathing
in
out
in
out
I still don't know
how to stop

break
away
float
away
fly
into my
thoughts
swim in
my memories
and I'll
tell you
why you
can never
love
me

i hate that you always make wrong feel right

I'll make
you feel
better
I'll make
things
better
use me
to feel
happy

She said that night
tell me something about love
I stood still
my mind racing
it was as if my head
came to an abrupt halt
but my heart almost immediately
came up with words
I don't think existed yet

I wanted to tell her
love is looking into her eyes
and melting on the spot
but somehow I couldn't
so I looked her into her eyes
and smiled

I wanted to tell her
love is caring
but somehow I couldn't
so I grabbed her a glass of water
she smiled

I wanted to tell her
love is two hearts
dancing to the same rhythm
but somehow I couldn't
so I asked her what movie
she'd like us to watch later
still smiling
she had a confused expression
the notebook
she wanted to watch the notebook

I wanted to tell her
love is patient
and that I couldn't stand that movie
but somehow I couldn't
so I kissed her on the cheek
and said ok

I wanted to tell her
love is admiration
but I couldn't
so I stared at her
and told her she was beautiful
all throughout the movie
even though you were teasing me
that I was missing half of the storyline

I wanted to tell her
love is warm
but somehow I couldn't
so I wrapped her in my arms
even though we were already
warm under the covers

I wanted to tell her
love is happiness
but I couldn't
so we laughed all night
exchanging jokes no one
else would understand

I wanted to tell her
love is so many things
but somehow I couldn't
so I loved her
and hoped she would understand

When you told me we were just friends
My world came crashing down
for all the years we've been together
how come you haven't noticed until now

Like how I get butterflies in my stomach
whenever you are near
Like "Hi" is the only word from you that I need to hear

Can't you see how lost I get
when I stare into your eyes
or how I die inside
when you have to say goodbye

wrong place
maybe one of these days
i'll find the right time
but I know that i'm
too late

maybe one of these days
I just might
find the right time
and place
but, oh well
you might as well
be with someone else

joined the race
lost the chase
but maybe one of
these days
I might just find
the right place

but did you pass me by
while I was waiting
for the right time?
did you pass by?
why did I
let you pass me by?

but maybe one of
these days
when i'm in the
right place
and find myself at
the right time
we'll finally collide
and sparks will fly
when we find
each other

Life is a tragic play with no curtain calls
it somehow keeps going on, without a happy ending at all
life is a silly game, when everybody cheats
life is a tyrant, a cruel king, which no one could beat
It's a one man world out there, evil unseen by the naked eye
you'll be all alone, just me, myself and I

this debris
i cannot
give to
someone
expecting a
heart

My soul was dark
my heart was cold
" Do not love. "
my heart was told

My heart obeyed, it didn't love
it was numb from the stars above
I was shielded from the beauty of the world
a normal condition of a heartless girl

The feeling of affection, I despise
I speak without a hint of emotion in my eyes
for I believe that love is only for the weak
You will not receive what you seek

Here's my advice, don't fall in love at all
because you will literally fall
the pain when crash is unbearable, it's too much
Don't let a little feeling destroy you
Don't fall for a crush

I am standing
on the edge
the void is within
my reach
my mind says
jump
but my body
just freezes

I wonder
what it's like
to live life
til the last minute
the last centimeter
will I
regret it?

When I'm standing
on the edge
the world is silent
it's empty
as if it's watching,
waiting for me
to jump
to stay
but it's too late
because
I
am
already
falling

you taught my heart how to dance

after I burn everything you gave me
will you still be here?
when these pictures turn into ash
will I still hear my heart whispering your name?
if i force myself to forget every song you made me listen to
will I still hear you somewhere in the melody?  
if I gave away every single book you bought me
will my eyes stop watering every time I hear the title?
somehow
you are no where
yet I find you everywhere
no matter how many times i take a bath
i cant seem to rid myself of you
soap cannot erase what you left behind
im stuck with you
well
with the memory of you rather
tell me if its wrong to feel your lips against my skin
when im alone with my thoughts in public transport
tell me if its wrong to remember how you said you loved me
when Im standing in line to grab lunch
tell me if its wrong to miss you
because I do
but you’re not coming back
to make it stop

you make me question everything i knew about myself

How could I forget
when you gave me so much to remember?

this heart of mine
will not keep still
this fast pace rhythm
won't stop until
my lungs continue to
gasp for breath
until this soul wanders
to the arms of death
my love for you
shall never die
it shall go on
as I am alive

I miss you
backspace
I still think about you
backspace
I'm sorry
backspace
I love you
backspace
backspace
backspace
hi
enter

-eleven­

I don't miss you
I just miss the person I thought you were.

I look at you
I see the sea
calm waves of you
gently caressing me

I see the ocean
in your eyes
I'm drowning
they're pulling me in

deeper

and deeper

I don't look away
that was my mistake

the ocean was beautiful
it was a magical sight
but I couldn't breathe
and I couldn't swim
but you seemed nice
it looked right

you looked right

and suddenly
there was no more air
I was sinking
my lungs ablaze
every drop of you consuming me
hurting me
I closed my eyes
I couldn't see how nice it was
you felt wrong

the ocean killed me that night
but if I would've knew
I might
have never looked into those eyes

so beautiful

but wrong

What is it about her that I don't have?
is it her smile, is it her laugh?
What if I changed, will you be there?
Will you love me if I was her?