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pia Jul 11
with every blow
and every scratch
i cement myself
hoping the next
wont hurt as much
with every layer of stone
the sting fades away
but the walls of concrete
made me feel empty
that day
pia Jul 11
its the eyes
its the face
its your smile
i cant erase
its your voice
its your touch
i never thought
it would hurt
this much
i got what i wanted
didn’t i?
this is what i wanted
right?
right?
there’s those eyes
they’re there again
there’s that face
i count to ten
1
2
3
it’s haunting me
4
5
6
i’m not over it
7
8
9
****
you were mine
and 10
and then?
it’s you
it’s still you
it’ll always be
you
pia Jul 11
missing you had been
like breathing to me
recently
thoughts of you
swarming my head
like flies to a moldy sandwich

my heart aches
when i remember your smile
my smile
we were so happy

my heart breaks
for the hundredth time
when i recall the way
you used to sing to me when
we had nothing better to do
i cheer you on
as you close your eyes
and belt out the melody
you weren’t the best singer
but the way i felt that night
tells me otherwise

my heart sinks and i
blink back the tears as
i hug the pillow close to my heart
i wished it was you,
but of course, i knew
that won’t happen
i close my eyes and
i try and
try and
try
to silence my regrets,
forget every moment
i spent loving you
losing you

but i don’t

i cling to the memories
even though they were
hurting me
i hold on
even though it was wrong
because it was the only
thing i had left of you

i hold on to you
even though i knew
you wouldn’t want me to

but that’s okay
this is okay

i’ll be okay
pia Jul 11
my heart has arms outstretched
to something they cannot reach
my heart shouts in a language
i do not speak
it tosses and turns all day and night
it seems like it can’t keep still
it aches
it breaks
it made mistakes
its pain won’t stop until
you say my name
like you used to

look at me
like you used to

love me like
we didn’t break
each other yet

love me like
none of this ever
happened yet

love me like
we knew what we were
doing this time

love me so I won’t need
some ******* rhymes
to give my heart some peace
a release

please.
pia Feb 10
we were at McDonald's
and you only ordered fries
there weren't any stars
that night

you held my hand
like you always did
after a meal
your fingers were as cold
as the midnight breeze

weird

you were always warm
whenever we touched
no matter how cold it was

it was strange
your skin somehow felt foreign
it was as if we were
doing this for the first time

you were staring at me
I didn't notice
I was on my phone
your eyes felt different
looked different
I used to describe them as
deep
captivating
oceans
I could drown in
forever
but now they're just
blue
dull
eyes

weird

you were smiling at me
I didn't notice
your smile felt different
I used to describe it as
breathtaking  
beautiful
but now it's just
red lips and teeth

you were talking to me
I didn't notice
you were saying something
about a movie?
I wasn't listening
I used to love your stories
your voice used to breakthrough
my ears
straight to my heart
I used to describe it as
smooth
calming
soothing
but now it's just
noise

weird

you asked me what was wrong?
I didn't notice
I told you I was fine

we were at McDonalds
and you only ordered fries
there weren't any stars that night

you held my hand
and I held yours
god
help me tell her
I don't love her anymore
pia Feb 10
I put these thoughts
inside my head
I grip my wrists
'till they turn red
I grit my teeth
I bite my tongue
don't say a word
to anyone

my heart constricts
I close my eyes
I count to when
these feelings die

the darkness
does not
prolong their
stay
I get to
live another
day
pia Feb 10
it's a long long wait
for something uncertain
we will spend months eager
years, hurting
but oh, when the time comes
we shall hold each other tight
take deep breaths and close our eyes
I smile a wide smile inside my head
a few years is nothing compared to the eternity ahead
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