I don't have perfect hair
I don't have a perfect face
I don't have a perfect mind
but in my heart, I have a lot to say

In the outside you may see a smile
Maybe you'll see a laugh
but somewhere deep inside
I've had enough

Who cares if I'm a nerd
who cares if I'm a geek
It's not my fault I was born this way
I apologize for being a freak

I'm not asking for that much
all I want is for you all to stop
stop telling me I'm worthless
I've really had enough...

"He has too many tattoos"
"I bet he's gone to jail"
To a man on a motorbike
My parents say

"Look at those girls, don't
Be like them, okay?"
They turned and looked at me
Referring to the girls
Too drunk to even stand up on their feet

"That's disgusting"
They say to a gay couple
Across the room
I sit there and laugh to myself
Haha if only they knew

The intoxicated girls
The man with tattoos
The gay couple in the room
I'm like them too

My heart isn't meant to be played with
it definitely isn't a toy
but if you want yours broken
give it to a boy

A simple look, that's all I need to see
Is it too much to ask, for you to notice me
I was there behind your shadow, I waited for so long
I thought you'd come to your senses someday
turns out that I was wrong

hold me together
as i come undone
i pretend that
these shrapnels of
you aren't digging
into my skin
we are hurting
we are broken
but we are one
we'll walk on faulty
bridges and lean on
crumbling walls but
i trust that you won't
break down
in the end the weight
of my broken pieces
were just too much for
you weren't they?

L-O-V-E....
Easy to spell
hard to define
and impossible to live without

we were at McDonald's
and you only ordered fries
there weren't any stars
that night

you held my hand
like you always did
after a meal
your fingers were as cold
as the midnight breeze

weird

you were always warm
whenever we touched
no matter how cold it was

it was strange
your skin somehow felt foreign
it was as if we were
doing this for the first time

you were staring at me
I didn't notice
I was on my phone
your eyes felt different
looked different
I used to describe them as
deep
captivating
oceans
I could drown in
forever
but now they're just
blue
dull
eyes

weird

you were smiling at me
I didn't notice
your smile felt different
I used to describe it as
breathtaking  
beautiful
but now it's just
red lips and teeth

you were talking to me
I didn't notice
you were saying something
about a movie?
I wasn't listening
I used to love your stories
your voice used to breakthrough
my ears
straight to my heart
I used to describe it as
smooth
calming
soothing
but now it's just
noise

weird

you asked me what was wrong?
I didn't notice
I told you I was fine

we were at McDonalds
and you only ordered fries
there weren't any stars that night

you held my hand
and I held yours
god
help me tell her
I don't love her anymore

I let my heart
dance with yours
even for just
a moment
but I knew
this song wasn't
meant for us

why did I
settle for less
why did I
settle for
second best
when I knew
I'd be starving
when I knew
I'd be wanting
more
from
you

it isn't until you let go
that you notice the blood
dropping from your palms
it isn't until you look down
that you notice how close
you are to the bottom
it isn't until I distanced myself
that I realized you were
slowly killing me

So, this is how it ends?
A knife in my grasp,
A grin on my face,
Ecstatic to end everything.
The last color I would ever see,
I wouldn't call it red.
It's just a beautiful shade of death with
a touch of happiness.
dripping from my wrists,
from the wounds the world has permanently
engraved on me.
Farewell to all you cruel people,
Goodbye to the world.
I will never, ever miss you.

do me a favor
are you having trouble
finding the door?
tell me are you lost
was the exit not
worth finding anymore?

you've been sitting in my head
for what seems like an hour or two
was it at least comfortable?
I think the space in my mind
is big enough for you

were you walking in circles?
are there blisters on your feet?
honey, you've been running on my mind
for the thirty second time
on repeat

it's not that I don't want you here
you're always free to wander in my dreams
just know it hurts a different kind of way
when you think about someone you can't keep

and as much as I want to kick you out
this run down mind of mine
rid me of infatuation
let heartache be a sign
but why do I remain stubborn
still I let you stay
promising myself to
free this heart from you the next day

empty promises soon fade
maybe tomorrows turn into maybe nots
I let you make yourself at home
within this foolish heart you caught

by now you might be wondering
what am I to do?
the simple answer is nothing
but then again I haven't got a clue

who knows? maybe indifference isn't the ideal
what's a girl gotta do to make her wishes real?
Paying it no mind won't make it hurt any less
but don't worry
looking at you from afar is what I do best

Life is like a roller coaster
filled with ups and downs
but it's up to you to scream?
Or enjoy the ride.

I put these thoughts
inside my head
I grip my wrists
'till they turn red
I grit my teeth
I bite my tongue
don't say a word
to anyone

my heart constricts
I close my eyes
I count to when
these feelings die

the darkness
does not
prolong their
stay
I get to
live another
day

Should I be happy 'cause we're friends
or should I cry 'cause that's all we're ever gonna be

A deck of hearts
A deck of spades
Some cards to get me
through the day

Shuffle the stack
And mix them so
You lay them down
And you're good to go

Black goes with red
Red goes with black
No cards in hand?
take three from the stack

Now we go from King
then Queen to Jack
Red, black, red
Black, red, black

If you've played for some time
it's safe to say
you've come across a card
that had an A
don't be confused, it's called an ace
If you find all four,
it's your lucky day!

So here's a truth
I'm sure you can bare
Congratulations, my friend
You just played solitaire

sun

from here the sun looked small
a yellow dot in the distance
so far yet its warmth seemed
to reach me as if it were a breath away
I loved the way it shone
my how beautifully did it shine
I wondered if it shined as bright
if I were close to it
the sun beckoned me to swim
in his golden rays
it shone brilliantly as I came closer
yet little did I know
as it shone
it also burned
it hurt
but my heart was too busy
admiring the sun
my eyes were to focused on etching its beauty in my mind
fearing I would forget it
if I looked away for
just a second
it was painful
loving you
but my did it feel so good
eventually
I had to leave you
burnt skin
a broken heart
it was an honor to
find out how much you shone
and how much it hurt to be burned
by you
my god
the sun looks small from here
doesn't it?

as the sun will rest,
the horizon as its bed,
beautiful in sleep

I rest on a shelf
tidy and well kept
I sit and stare
as my owner wept
If only when you hugged me
I could hug back
I'm sorry for the strength I lack
I'm sorry I can't talk
I'm sorry I wasn't there
I would do all of those if I can
but I'm only a Teddy Bear.

I'm not afraid of the dark
I'm afraid of what's in it.

You're a mess
You're broken
Bottles adorn your apartment floor
And I'm standing outside your door

Are your eyes too swollen
To see that I'm here
Did she break you completely,
what if you don't need me,
tell me if I'm
getting too near

I love you too much
To see that I'm not
Who your tears are for
I love you too much
To stop when it hurts
Only to come back and ask for more

I'm here.
There's no need to cry
your heart is too broken
so let me give you mine

I'm still here.
When will I learn?
That the love I gave
Can never be returned.