starving on the fringes gorged and gored of that vibrating center  
Look at me but not that long, let me be a cog of the conversation, I can't start the wheels turning and god please don't turn me into rust, grinding words to a scream, a screeching halt

You try to pierce me with the daggers of your eyes, my skin is amour, watch the sparks fly
The metal is from a fallen star that burned with 1000 year old joy, the tin the adorned your face can't hurt me
Your aren't having as much fun as your snapchat story plays, 8 seconds of acting

Use me till I run out of words, I have nothing else to offer
I'm three steps away from daily motivation
There is a peace in knowing your worth, sleep to the freezing
We both know the moment that you got what you wanted, I haven't felt your need on my leg in weeks

My soul is tailgating the tour van of some band from SF that takes themselves a bit to seriously
My soul is somewhere in the woods, half submerged in a creek, caressed by ancient waters toughened by ancient stones
My soul is in a brand new a stadium, cheering on some logo with 80,000 strangers
My soul is the color of calloused feet and broken promises
My soul is the gorilla beating his chest and in a swing of his fist my soul is a little kid wondering how can he cheapen the family bills

I have been showed the flowers and the garbage and I can't tell them apart
I said give me your palm, I will read the future, but really I'm just addicted to the rivers of your hand

The heat singes my fingers as the strength leaves my legs
The sweetness hits my nose as I blow worry out of my mouth
I think it's hesitation but it's peace that slows down my hand
Peace is the mini smoke stack that churns stress and life to a smiling cough
I'm not clear but I'd rather be blind then look in my minds eye
I like the discord, the order has grown to heavy to handle

Look up and see and the stars?
You mean the light pink, blood in the water darkness?
I have never seen stars, I know the sound of trains and cars, horses and stillness are as foreign to me as your touch
I'm sorry for my wonder, my sky only shines with artificial beauty

I don't give up easy, my muscles are strong and thunder wishes it beat as strong as my heart
They put me down to early, heaven and hell are still just words to me
I will cut done a 1000 pines with my nails and tear the ground like an earthquake with my teeth
And I will find my way back to her
The light of here eyes will guide me from their small darkness, The Lord can go **** himself, I only need forgiveness from her

If I stay I'm a disappoint and of I go I'm selfish
I have spent my time being selfless but I'm not allowed to breath
You see my freedom as your loss, my breathing as stealing air you might have taken in

We call ourselves the masters of the universe, the barriers of weather, gravity and terrain have been blown apart, just like the gaping death in the ozone
But before the evolutionary chiropractor found us to straighten our backs the trees kissed the moon and before life was born mountains made love to her
10,000 years before we stole kisses from her to power the A/c unit desert flowers lived a thousand thousand generations in Death Valley

Batter me with the ocean, take me to the hurricane
I love the smell of the power of nature, those dark clouds that fill my nose, that foreboding humidity
Time is natures way of making sure everything doesn't happen at once, still I need you to take me to that Glorious nocturne, take me to dark churning ocean, but always remember the blood attracts sharks and that they are starving

The fog from the mouth of the river mists over the roadway, shaming the steam from your mouth
We turn on our high beams to cut a seam for the sight of rolling concrete
The wooden monoliths of antiquity have been pushed aside for our fleet

Darlin Ophelia come a little closer
There is witchcraft in your hips, let me into your bubble, I don't care what trouble you boiled baby I need to be spoiled
Find your way back into my bed, cough that water up and let's jump into the dark
You leave me stumblin for a step stttutterin for a word, and the shape of your legs makes me slur

It's never dark in newark, the ruddy sickly glow of money spent keeps us safe from night
We used to depend on her, her white light reflections was our protection from fear and wonder

For every good intention there is 1000 evil uses
And for every evil use there is 10000 dead bodies there is no art in those corpses and there is no art in yours
They do not tell you about the cold ice that will devour your skin
The wails of my mother stay my hand, she is silent but it's all I hear
I don't need you here, I will take what's offered I know the deal
Let's seal it it with a kiss I can be your lateness swing and miss
You will always have your bliss, it's good to know my uses
I'm tired of your truces, lies that don't last a week, i prefer your abuses, at least that way I have some sympathy to eat

Tall as perception
Short as rejection
Student
Boyfriend
Son
Brother
Strong as a memory
Weak as your grip
Surprise
Warm
Friend
Teacher
Sore as his knuckles
Cozy as her bed
Loving
Smiler
Laugher
Care taker
Smart as potential
Dumb as expectations
Faker
Crier
Lier
Fighter
Hot as lust
Cold as isolation

I was raised with a king, a grey moon on a black sky was his standard and his proud kingdom was 4 houses
He went alone and proud into the dark
I met a wild dark storm, a killer with a soft spot, magic in his eyes, courage in his teeth.  He is still in the woods, he belongs with the trees
His mother has a quiet dignity, she spends are days in timid quiet repose, yielding food to her wild son and giving love softly
I held spun gold, eyes the color of the sun on water.  A lover who expected nothing, fierce but kind, always ready for a new friend.  
Death cheated and snuck up on you when you were young and asleep

New old records play as the caster of my shadow gets a new job because he is wilder than wonderland
New old records play as my source is tamed by long dark hair and eyes the color of earth
New old records play as my father disappoints his father as easy as habit
New old records play as my mother flexes a rebellious muscle again
New old records play as my role model prays that the caster of my shadow will age like the wine they love
New old records play as the shadow dances gleefully in a field, unaware of the commitment, the anguish, the love around him
Old records play as the shadow out grows the subject and makes a 12 year old a meal from rote

I've traded all my tomorrow's, the devil can dance to the rhythm of my symphony of my future
I didn't buy any yesterday's I bought a moment of sound
I bought the cold from the speaker, that hits in my neck and races down my arm.

Too trusting by half, seeing good in those who don't wish to give any light back
Seeing reflections in cold brick walls, sure that everyone cares for someone
Confused by the lack of empathy, choices made for the self baffle, doesn't everyone else check the mirror last?  
Doesn't everyone consider each step? The floor isn't covered with lava, it's covered with hearts, please watch your step
As the knife goes in and the blood pours out, I assume they stumbled

Sweat and fire, tears and anger, hear the gears turning, hear the earth dying
You **** the river so the machines won't rust, the only red you want is from the heart
Taste the iron in your mouth, steel yourself for for the metallic rapture, sell your pain for a dollar!
40 or 40,000 hours, all that matters is that your labor is sold
All that matters is the soles of your feet and your soul are the same

I'm dying of thirst but I'm afraid to ask for a drink
I'm starving for a connection but I turned my phone off
Look look, look at me, I have lots of great qualities! Please god don't leave me alone with my **** and my headphones
I'm used to fighting off sleep at 3am with beauty in my eyes and red in my cheeks
Now the sun drags me down with it

Notice notice notice notice
Notice the wind in the tress and the wind in his voice
Put your phone in your pocket for a moment and see the snow, rejoice
But go back to your pocket when you feel the buzz, there is a new moment of your life, a sight of a million reflected lights is just as real as one

Please please love me!  Don't make me consider my thoughts and actions, I'm afraid of the dark
Use your mouth to silence mine, I hate the way I speak and I need to be needed
Every morning is harder to rise, the sun mocks me with its easy eastern comings
I sorry I'm not taller or stronger or more whatever "er" you want

There is beauty in our souls and love in his eyes
But there is no beauty in the destruction that grows like a **** from my finger tips, my eyes are dull and empty and you are gonna taste blood
The beaten love me made feels like shards of glass in my toes, there is no beauty in our bed
There is no beauty in the deafening silence, no care in your finger tips, you pound out words made to cut
My vision goes dark and I let fear swallow me, I will go out the same way I came in: screaming in joy and fear and confusion with archaic song in my heart.  There is no beauty in a young casket

My body is roiling and boiling and I'm spoiling for a fight
My hands shake with a grief locked in future, please suture the cuts the blood is a flood and all I see is red
Lay me down to bed, and lower me back to the earth let a there be birth from my bones

I am a simple man
I follow the path the universe leads me, the path that resists the leasts
I am a simple man
I swim up stream I need to reach her mouth
Let the water smooth the years from my feet, let the stream wash the old blood away
Cool water is the cure for my hot head, all words are kindling
Even in summer leaves fall from trees

Hi! And welcome to earth, me and you are gonna break a half a century old cycle together! I know you can do it, and I will do my best to buffer the waves of lies, manipulation and selfishness that has plagued a name nobody will say right
I will not be a bleared eyed, slurred shadow of your future, I will be loving and put you first, above my wants and my ideals
I will step back and allow you to learn and outsmart me one day
Love,
Your father and his scars

Sleep and quiet eludes me
It shakes and shimmies our of my grasp
20 in 4
20 in 4
I am sore
hours and days run, there is dark but not total
The weight on my face pulls me down
I fall head head first in my chair, my neck can't support my bare empty head, full of half made walking dreams, I reach out for a translucent hand
20 in 4
20 in 4
There is no giddiness in this, only floating in semi nothing, work stumbles out of my mouth hours after my shift, I just need to drift
20 in 4
20 in 4
I will settle for lucid, these dreams where I'm chased by shadows of the day are giving me whiplash
20 in 4
20 in 4

My soul is tailgating the tour van of some band from SF that takes themselves a bit to seriously
My soul is somewhere in the woods, half submerged in a creek, caressed by ancient waters toughened by ancient stones
My soul is in a brand new a stadium, cheering on some logo with 80,000 strangers
My soul is the color of calloused feet and broken promises
My soul is the gorilla beating his chest and in a swing of his fist my soul is a little kid wondering how can he cheapen the family bills

"In 10 years you won't remember his name" chirps the 30 yr old self help ******* who thinks he is smarter than everyone born 1989
"In three months you won't remember her voice" blabs the inane buzzfeed writer, fresh out of college and master of that subtle tone of superiority
*******, I'm not living  in three months from now, it's today and her voice rings in my ears, her face is burned into my eye lids and her name may taste bitter on my tongue but I still know the ******* taste
Stop telling people to not live in their momentary emotions, don't tell my sister to not be heartbroken, his name hurts her now and she deserves to feel that pain
Don't live in the imaginary painless future, live in the wonderful, terrible, awe inspiring now

Pull the death out of my gut
Pull the pellets out of me and examine the names that tore me, if you have the grace to worry about seeing your name, you will find the name of a stranger
Be careful of the postmortem, I'm sorry tremors of my hands
born from the post beating tears
from the post script of your disappointment
After I'm dead I'm still sorry that I bothered you  
You look at my heart and dare to wonder why it is as shriveled as my corpse  
You burned the love out with sideways glares frontways sneers I wish you just gave honest backwards smiles

I taste bile when you grate my name out
Please please for ***** sake leave me alone
I'm not shaking cuz of the weather, my body is trying to take flight, fight isn't an option
Your breath smells like dusty years  and sucker punches
I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry
I'd cut myself but you already covered me in indifferent scars
I wish you hit me harder when I was small, because old bruises protect you from new ones
I'd say you let me down but you dropped me when my voice cracked, and anyone can hold up a baby

Dying for some life, i have the audacity to walk into a prison and complain to the bars
I'm not sure why I chose this anymore, but then I could never plan ahead of the next storm
I'm dying for a drink and despite the water risen I was taught to not to take when I can not give so thirst strikes another blow, the pain it hits me, it lays me low but I will not take that bite

You have got this far, by some miracle, you have drank and laughed your way through life
But the thing is all you drink is the firriest whiskey and you laugh flames, and almost all your bridges have been burned away
But you still have one, and despite all the gas and searing lies
Your last bridge still stands, it's wrought of the hardest iron and the most cutting guilt
Its held together by the mortar of melted shards of decades of shattered expectations
But here I am, burning and broken, but not breaking

My lungs are trying to climb out of my chest
I can't get high, the smoke poisons me worse than memories
I wipe away the red that sputters out of my mouth, hoping I wake up in the morning
I hope she is at the party, I hope I say a funny joke, I hope I'm not swallowed by silences
I think it is guilt that is trying to pound it's way through my skull, at least I hope it's guilt, anything else would be your fault, and we can't have that
The coldness of that last meal still leaves me shivering, and I can't warm up
Id rather ***** up a lung then hear your voice right now, so please don't call me
My eyes are heavy but I don't wanna sleep alone, come here and sleep on my chest, we can count sheep in the dark.

She doesn’t care, never forget that
She doesn’t care how or why or even who
The screaming woman holding the charred remains of her life doesn’t give a **** about go **** yourselves 1000th of year of history
She doesn’t care if she saw the tank rolling over her past before it annihilated her present.
She doesn’t care if she didn’t see the bomb drop
All that matters to her is her baby is dead
She doesn’t care if there was bottle rockets near her home, we dropped a smart bomb on it
And it’s we, don’t forget that either, we build the bombs, we build the anguish, we sell death
And what is the price of a mothers anguish?
Campaign money and 2% for your side next election

Some men look for Jesus, but I'm looking for Cain
I'm vibrating out of my skin and I'm not looking for saving I'm looking to be shaken by the earth
I'm done, don't help me I'm going on a walk
Something is broken and my muscles are done limping, I'm gonna tear it out, throw it to your feet and turn my back to your reflection
Masks, excuses, and old scars have shaken off and if I die that's ok, I'd like a go at being a flower

I'm not smart enough for the path that resists the least, so I slog up this hill till my fingers are russet nubs
My eyes are blind to the truth, so i keep climbing up this vertical mountain
Hopefully I will learn after another sharp regret tumbles down and splits my skull
But i never was a fast learner
One foot in front of the other
One foot in front of the other till you forget why you're moving
One foot in front of the other if you say it loud enough you forget the shackles that stumble my steps

Straving on the fringes gorged and gored of that vibrating center  
Look at me but not that long, let me be a cog of the conversation, I can't start the wheels turning and god please don't turn me into rust, grinding words to a scream screeching halt

He looked ****** for a few hours, sleep in his eyes and pain on his face
We laughed and joked, basking in the light of young bravado and strength, he'd walk this off, three steps from rubbing some dirt in it
But death was a plastic sheet away
A curtain separated us from our future, the lights will go dark and the jokes won't make sense
Sickness has little pull when your strong and 20, but **** across the curtain a man was drowning
And someday we will taste the same water full our lungs

The stars have left your body and your skin has grown cold
It's 3pm and I don't know your face
The moon let me know you, she let your smile unfold
He burns away my memories, your kisses are just empty space
They made me feel something or nothing, maybe happy maybe drowsy
Maybe it was your "save me" eyes maybe it was our pace

If you hate me for my burning hair please forgive my eyes
If you cringe at the sound of my voice remember the waves of my face
I'm sorry I'm a ghost to you, a nightmare of mistakes, missed chances and empty "I love yous"
But I'm sorry I'm backwards, I only know the man not the ghost

I feel the synapses and glue holding my brain together loosening, I'm not sure where I am or what I am
I don't think these pills will do much but it's worth a shot
my arms are bare because I'm a coward, not because I fear the cold or the sharpness of a blade
I fear the cold in your eyes, looks that I wish could ****
I fear the sharpness of your voice
I fear you more than anything in the world
But I need you, even as my home crumbles I'm desperate to show you what I did with the kitchen
Please god approve approve!

Some men look for Jesus, but I'm looking for Cain
I'm vibrating out of my skin and I'm not looking for saving I'm looking to be shaken by the earth
I'm done, don't help me I'm going on a walk
Something is broken and my muscles are done limping, I'm gonna tear it out, throw it to your feet and turn my back to your reflection
Masks, excuses, and old scars have shaken off and if I die that's ok, I'd like a go at being a flower

The blows wash over me, if you think  my stares are acid wait till you hear my fire, words that burns with the spurs of hell
You have closed the loving hands I was given by my mother, feel my hardened knuckles
See the rage tear apart the face that reminds you of a lost memory, the tears remind you if head on collisions

I saw a women die today
She didn't plan to feel the jolt, she was planning to go home
That last final jolt has to be a feeling, that instant of confusion and pain is almost as scary as the jolt of organs and bones being in the desperately wrong place
I hope she knew before she hit the cold pavement, I hope she knew it was over, I hope she knew she wouldn't beat this one
but she was strong, she had lived a whole life on earth and that's the hardest thing to do

Step into my minds eye, feel your hand on your chest and feel nothing and nothing
The world is a screaming rippling blur, a dropped boulder in a pond, someone has asked you to repeat yourself, you still talk to fast
Water stills and you are blinded by joy and pride someone laughs at that thing you said
The sun and the moon are running opposite races, the speed of light is the speed of a word, darkness rushes in, thought wishes it was faster
A hole jumps into your mouth at the sound of voices, hammers on gongs bring you to your knees
"your father is on the phone"
"I'm sorry, I didn't want to hurt you"
"I need you to drop me off"
"I'm sorry there is nothing we can do for her anymore"
"You look just like him"

Some men look for Jesus, but I'm looking for Cain
I'm vibrating out of my skin and I'm not looking for saving I'm looking to be shaken by the earth
I'm done, don't help me I'm going on a walk
Something is broken and my muscles are done limping, I'm gonna tear it out, throw it to your feet and turn my back to your reflection
Masks, excuses, and old scars have shaken off and if I die that's ok, I'd like a go at being a flower

If you are looking for forgiveness baby you will need to move that *** you wouldn't shut up about a few years back
If you want an out lover I'm not giving you one, stare at your screen and scream
Don't push my head under drowning love only to realize you don't like the way water feels on your hands
Cuz I'm past empty apologies, you lead me to sweet acid and I'm not ready to show your burns but I'm not putting on a painted mask