Hug me, hold me tight.
With you, I will say goodbye

My scars are finally starting to heal a little,
But my veins are itching for more.

I know you looked at me,
But I don't think you saw me.

I can't believe it's actually happening,
It's all I wanted for so long.
And fantasy becomes reality,
But it all feels so wrong?

Ghosts are real,
Monsters are too.
They live inside us.
And sometimes they win.

My parents made me
Wear a skirt, and a short sleeved t-shirt.
The only reason they didn't see
The scars that covered my arm
Is because they bought make up for me 2 days ago, in which I hid the scars.
"Because you're a girl."
Right now, I ******* feel like
'Micheal in the bathroom'
Anyway, I'm gonna continue crying in closeted trans now, bye.

That's the thing with life,
No one makes it out alive.

And you said:
~
I'm also so ******* in love with you
And together we will move forward, I also don't know what will happen.
But we will get those good things together

I'm losing my mind,
But you're here to catch it.

I tried to write the most beautiful poem for you,
Until I realised you were the poem.

I really don't know anymore.

I wrote and thought, erased and tried.
Because sometimes, being a poet hurts.
But then I looked at you, and right away,
I knew I'd found the exact right words.

It's not because of my eyes that the world is blurry,
My mind is always a little bit behind.

Fingertips frozen,
Arms up my sleeve.
But I have to write this idea down.
My hands are already filled with ink.
Everything has to be gold these days.
Golden chain, Golden eyes, Golden soul, Golden ring.
Still want to be the one to speak her name as mine though.
It's cold outside,
But I'm colder.
You poor thing.

Somehow,
After all these days,
I still don't remember.
Where did you go?
Where did I leave you?
When you walk out that door,
Leaving me torn,
You're teaching me to live without it.
But still we wonder.
When we all fall asleep,
Where do we go?

Thank you!!??!
I'm so happy.

Sorry, the wifi was down.
The missing notes will be posted today.

"You make me realise a little bit more every day that love can be a good thing."

I don't do don't don't disundisdisagreen'tn't

I don't have a poem today, but I do have this video that got sent in the group chat.

https://youtu.be/Qp5apTvlHt4

(Thanks to @Amaryllis for the vid ;)

You can't raise Hell with a saint.

I will wait for you whenever,
But when you let go, know,
That I will do so too.

I won't ask,
I already know.
I love to talk to you,
But not about this trauma though.

I will follow you to heaven,
If you come with me to hell.

Words fail

Hello there.
Same sentence,
Different voice.
But I want to hear yours.
I dreamed about you last night.
Not really a surprise.
Just desire.
What?

I love you,
Whoever you are reading this.
I love you,
Take care of yourself.

And then I came out

I'm sorry for the poems that were delayed,
I was on a journey far away.

Even if I did live in my head,
You'd still be there.
Whenever I'm scared, I remind myself that you wouldn't want me to be scared, so then I remember;
I know that I'll be okay anywhere.

[20/10/19: 20:04] Me: okay so I'm kind of proud of myself. I just showered normally, and shaved without having the urge to self-harm. Like, I held the razor blade against my wrist and I could just say "I don't want this anymore." So I'm kinda happy. There are still strech marks and scars on my underarm, but they're fading, and in a few weeks/months they're going to be (almost) completely gone :) You probably don't care that much and I text you too much stuff, but I thought this might make you a little happy.

I dreamt that I kissed you last night,
But I wasn't sad when I woke up.
Because seing you in real life is just like a dream,
Like the dreams I lived were real.

My phone clock said it's 18:0011
And I wondered if I traveled back in time.
But then I realised, once again,
You can only do that after midnight.

Yes, I can write forever about you.
But pens run out of ink sometimes.

I used to think you were just beautiful,
I didn't know you at all.
And I stil don't know you now.
But for your mind, I did fall.

I didn't know if I was safe,
But you had a way with words.
They didn't even need to rhyme,
Because they were yours,
And that's what mattered.

BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY
FREDDIE MERCURY
GAY
~ Amaryllis

The thing that hurts the most, to realise, is that no matter how much I love you, and how much I tell you that, it won't change the fact that you want to end yourself. I am powerless, and that's pretty awful, because not a lot of people want you to be okay more than I do, and I can't do anything about it. I'm sorry for that

Every day's a guess

Maybe our letters will be published one day too,
And we'll get a place in history together.
You deserve a place in history, in my history.
I want to remember this, forever.

Every day I doubt if I'm still a poet,
But then I look at you again, and I know it.
My purpose is to write in life,
So I look at your eyes, and take another dive.
The sea of words is high and wide,
But your eyes make the sea go tide.

It's like I'm losing control of time,
And my mind is dissapearing.

~   I
     Don't
     Wanna
                         F
                              E
                               ­     E
                                          L

Ever again.

Can I unsubscribe from gender?

If all the good girls go to hell,
...
I'm the sweetest of them all.
...
Because I'm already there