you asked me once
how real it all felt
sometimes i wonder
if it had all just been a dream
but then i remember
your gentle eyes
under a summer moon,
the scent of oranges
hanging in the air
and the feeling of stars
bursting out of the sky
the moment our lips met.

the roses on your knuckles
bloomed
as you held me open for you
moonlight casting it's gentle glow
silver cupping your face
as your eyes met mine
and my soul awakened
longing to dance with yours
each breath a crescendo
that left no doubt behind
the knowledge so clear
like the sapphire sky
shining above us
the balmy summer night
our own refuge
i couldn't escape it
the stolen whispers between us
were never going to be enough
for my heart had been yours
in every lifetime.

we find ways to steal moments together, knowing our time is running out. clinging to each other like inmates on death row, facing the realisation that soon we will no longer exist. each time your eyes find mine my heart breaks. you move the stars in my sky and send fireworks through my soul. the ghost of you stays with me, the feeling of your body against mine and of my lips finding yours in the dark are infused in my very being. in those moments we were immortal. i'd give anything for one more night to surrender to you, to fully explore what was robbed from us the first time. **** i'd even take 10 minutes. just you & i hidden from the world, left to speak in the only language our souls understand. i dream that we got that. that somehow, somewhere we got a real goodbye. they say at the end you see it all infront of you, now you're all i see and i'm terrified of a life without you in it. you are my inferno.

let me drink you in
i will gasp for air
just to consume you.

i stare at these pages
as if the words
are going to be enough
to bring you back,
as if the blood spilled
will be all you need
to see that i'm right here.
yet once again,
all i'm left with
is ink stained hands
and a fracture in my chest.

it's july
and we're falling out of bars
incense clinging to our hair
chasing the last
of the saccharine sun
each strawberry stained kiss
introducing us to god

it's july
and we're hiding under satin sheets
moonlight dancing
upon naked flame
sticky fingers
trying to hold us together
your teeth find my skin
and i can never find the words
to tell you how you've marked me
like spoiled fruit
in the summer heat

it's july
and each amber scented day
leaves me longing
for the month we stole
your eyes met mine
and it felt like a wound mending
before slipping away
with the autumn breeze

it's july
and all i can see is you.

i saw glaciers in your eyes,
icy plains and lost streams.
i felt you fill my lungs
your salt water burning
with each new breath,
drowning in you
with every exhale.

you placed a crown
upon my head
making me feel
like i was the queen
of your castles
little did i know
they were made
of nothing but sand
then the tide crashed in
and swept them away
hushed promises
forgotten by morning.

you told me
when you closed your eyes
and you felt your blood
start to boil
it's my face you see
all without ever
having my body.

i smiled
and replied;
lover,
undress the mind
and the soul will follow
the body will never come close.

at our first hello
i seen it;
a memory flashing
from an ancient time.
you had held my heart before
wild hair dancing in the wind,
you had watched me burn.
just like the sweet notes
that poured from your fingertips
caressing the keys
had haunted my dreams,
those same fingers would
send my body into chaos.
you were my muse
in every incarnation
and i yours,
destined to never be strangers
our hearts never our own.

gone,
yet you linger
like a hollow cavity
in my chest.
i feel you
wrapped tight
around my ribcage
blooming
with every breath,
the sweetest lilacs
wrapping tight
like your body on mine
on clementine nights.

we are nothing but ghosts
yet you've stained me
like red lipstick
on fresh white linen.

if you cannot
unravel my soul,
then you do not deserve
to undress
my body.

i guess
to put it simply,
i miss each atom of you
individually.
each molecule
each grain of stardust,
more than i ever knew
was humanly possible.

and i wonder why you
let me continue
to fall, when
i'd already
hit the

g
   r
      o
         u
            n
               d.

i once was told
that i loved too much
my lotus heart
opening too quickly,
yearning for a love
deeper than i could handle.
i may be soft,
but i am also a fire
and you are the only one
who sets my heart to bloom.

isn't it strange,
how we are each made
from little scrap pieces
of lovers left behind.
one lovers
favourite coffee order
is still my most reached for,
anothers user name
became endless passwords
and your t-shirt
became all i could sleep in.
i guess those we loved
never really leave us,
and so i wonder
which part of me
you took with you
when you left.

out of all of the ways to die,
you are my favourite.

but what happens
when you find your soulmate
only it's simply not your time
life tears you apart
and before you know it,
days become years
that emptiness stays
knowing a piece of you
has been left behind
a phantom following you
reminding you of what you lost
what happens then?
how do we survive
knowing we've lost our very self?

i know now
that i get you in phases,
from having all of you
with your ocean eyes
and sleepy hand holds
to having only glimpses,
before you disappear again
leaving me in the darkness
once more
just like the moon,
only you have the power
to captivate me
and send me to madness.

i was always told
vampires don't exist
yet i spend hours and days
feverishly trying
to forget the feel
of your teeth upon my skin.

your voice is slowly fading
your words too far
to remember clearly
but the discussion between
your fingertips
and my skin,
still blazes wildly
keeping me up at night
like a moth to a flame.

i said never again,
but maybe this time
you would be different.
maybe it would hurt less,
when you handed
my love back to me.
maybe we were still
made of stardust,
desperate for another chance
to make it.
wanting to do better,
to finish what we started.
but you walked out the door
and once again,
i'm left alone
with my ******* heart
and the unwavering need
to love that which can destroy me.

in the darkness
your ghost finds me
the memories leave me aching.
the moon was the only witness
to our midnight worship
the stars burned with longing.
teeth bared, nails dragging,
your moans becoming
my personal symphony
each beat of my heart,
yearning for your love.
now my skin is still on fire
from a blanket of kisses
bright enough
to make the night sky herself
weep with envy.

even after everything
if i could go back
to the first moment we met
i wouldn't run
from the heartache
i'd only tell myself
just how worth it
you were.

i keep you with me always
you visit me
in the space between
sunset and moonrise,
in that world i belong to you.
keeping our memories
loccked up tight,
keeping them safe
in their heart shaped boxes.
i go back to them each night,
a land of whispered promises
and starlit worship.
i know if i could go back
there's not one i would erase.
despite the hurt,
despite the loss,
you were my masterpiece.

if it takes 28 days
for skin to renew,
then i have been
13 new versions of myself
since i last felt your touch.
each day gets longer,
yet i still hear your name
in the ocean waves
and your moon soaked kisses
still keep me up at night.

sapphire nights
spent with your body
pressed on mine,
hearts racing
stars aligning
moonlit promises
forgotten by dawn,
each bittersweet memory
a reminder
of what could have been.

sometimes
the moon comes by
and tells me
about you.
how she created your eyes
from the sea itself
and your bones
from the dust
of forgotten stars
kissed by saturn,
before sending you
soaring over my horizon.
i gaze at her in wonder,
knowing i will never find
the words to say
t h a n k  y o u
for sharing you
with me.

i long to be
your first cup of coffee
kissing those
sleepy eyes awake,
whilst you feel the warmth
spread through your bones.
i long to be
the reminder of home
felt with each
gentle mouthful,
now an essential part
of your daily ritual.
i long for you
to spend the day thinking
of when you might
taste me next,
leaving hints of cinnamon
and sweetness on your lips.

now i understand,
that i have always
been enough

i just wasn't
enough for you.

you have an addictive personality
that's what they say.
you threw your arms around me too fast
like a hurricane,
consuming me completely.
i don't doubt the sincerity
in those moments and whispers
too pure to be lies,
your sweetness like a cavity.
but now i see it for what it was
your latest fixation
simply a way to pass the time

i was just another habit to break.

you succeeded where others failed
you undressed my mind first
now all my words are for you.

now all that's left
is burning valentines
and forgotten promises
my heart beating
outside of my chest,
destined for a life
of solitude
searching for a love
so beautiful
that even fate herself
weeps amongst the stars.

i still remember
your sleepy steel eyes
staring back at me
bed hair and soft sheets
your tender fingertips
always lost
in my crimson hair
that just couldn't stop itself
from gently spilling
onto your face
in those moments i knew
you would always give me
a thousand new reasons
to unravel for you
before the amber sun
filled the sky
with her nectarine kisses.

we were creatures of the night
worshipping each other,
bathing in the starlight.
now we are strangers,
and i long to run free
around the corners
of your mind once more.

as darkness falls
i feel you
calling to me.
the starlight
screams your name
pulling me back
to silver nights
dressed in midnight,
with your kisses tasting
like strawberries
and fated promises.

i have realised
why it still hurts so much;
i have too many words
inside my head,
to describe the way my heart
burst from my chest
the moment we met.
too many memories
of your fingertips
tracing the curve of my hips,
keeping me up at night.

you make me ungodly
i crave you above all else
like nosferatu
confined to an eternal bloodlust,
hungry for your love.

as surely as winter
loosens it's icy grip
with one last kiss
upon my throat,
i know spring
will soon return
to gently hold me
in her warm embrace
as the earth
calls me back home.

do not look for me here
i am running
barefoot through the trees
with the scent of soft pine needles
and moonlight on skin
my heart in my hands
wide eyed and free.

during those twilight hours
the moon gazed upon us
and blushed,
not knowing
where you ended
and i began.

i have never
felt so helpless
as when i fell
head first into you,
drowning
in your murky waters
you were the only
light i could see.
you kissed me
and my body
drifted to the surface
my heart cracked open
like a lotus
knowing that
without the darkness,
without being held
in your grasp,
i would never
have been able
to dance along the surface
kissing the waterlillies
confessing my love
in sweet whispers
to the dragonflies
bathing in the scent
of soft summer rain.

the scent of incense
hangs heavy in the air
the constant murmer of voices
comes crashing like waves
but your eyes meet mine
and the faces disappear
the voices die,
all that remains
is an unspoken invitation
from my lips
willing yours to kiss them
and yours happily
meet their request
leaving our love tasting
like oranges
tenderly plucked
from moonlight lips.

loving you was such a rush
you swam through my veins
hitting me like ******,
now i'm in withdrawal

i can still feel you in my blood.