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Noah Stowe Nov 2015
I sit alone again
Wishing for you to return.
Noah Stowe Nov 2015
I sit alone,
Not crying,
I lost all my tears
And I feel like I'm dying.

When will help come
Or will it be to late
Please just come
And save me from fate.

Slipping away into Darkness
I fall into the hidden seams of all that is lost
And forgotten
Never to be seen again by human eyes.
Wow... that poem took quite the turn didn't it...
Noah Stowe Dec 2015
again I sit
among the trees
I wipe away
a tear
If only...
maybe a friend comes
Then they disappear around the corner
I can only see a silhouette
Now read backwards!
Noah Stowe Jun 2016
I fall on the floor
And everybody sees
But life drags on without caring.

I get sick
And everybody knows
But life drags on without caring.

I fall into depression
And everybody feels it
But life drags on without caring.

But when I leave the world
Suddenly I am the selfish one.
And life drags on without me.
Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
All of my depression poems after 6/5/2016 will have a suicide hotline number.
Noah Stowe Jan 2017
Falling down into darkness,
I am awaited by an angel
More beautiful than anything.
Her light, dappling the walls
Her hair, rippling golden waves
Her eyes, holding sapphires
Her gaze, stopping time
She catches me and laughs
Her laugh, contagious and godly
Her voice, more beautiful than
The first flowers of spring.
She is my angel,
Saving me from the darkness.
Noah Stowe Oct 2016
Swallow a pill.
Fake a smile.
Swallow a pill.
Fake a smile.
The endless motions of my life
No hopes of ending
No hopes of really feeling happy
Swallow a pill.
Fake a smile.
Continuous proceedures
It still doesn't work
Increase the dosage
Swallow a pill.
Fake a smile.
Repeating into eternity
Like a car in a tunnel, looking for the light
Hoping to leave the dark space
Swallow a pill.
Fake a smile.
They still don't work
It's my fault
Continue no matter what
Swallow a pill.
Fake a smile.
The endless task needs to stop
I forget
I let go
Fake a smile.
Maybe I should just let things go.
Force a smile no matter how fake.
It's not working.
They see right through me.
Maybe I'll try something else.
Don't fake a smile.
Don't force a laugh.
Suddenly, they see me.
But now it's my fault, not the pill.
Noah Stowe Apr 2016
Life is such a beautiful thing, I know.
You say it twice a day, or maybe more.
You act like it's a present with a bow.
Well the beauty of life is just fokelore.

Nobody sees the pain I go through,
What hides behind a strong, beautiful mask,
But being forgotten is nothing new.
If you wanted to know you could just ask.

Well you have waited a little too long,
And my blade has done its work, Dragging deep
Watching blood drip the tune of my heart's song,
Dripping to the floor, letting the blood seep.

And now that I am gone, what will you do?
*Will you save others like me? Or let them go too?
This poem is not about me or anyone I know.  Please don't cut or commit suicide.
Noah Stowe Aug 2016
The beautiful Flower
Stood tall in the grass.
Until a storm took its
Beauty away.
And the Flower was
No more.
Noah Stowe Oct 2016
My heart has stopped working
My brain has stopped thinking
My face has stopped smiling
My soul has stopped living
My body has stopped sleeping
My mind has stopped caring
My fingers have stopped typing
My eyes have stopped crying
My body has grown limp
My body is just a machine
It goes on.
Somehow it goes on,
Even though the pieces are broken.
It still goes on.
The gears aren't oiled.
And yet it keeps going.
And no mechanic has been able to fix it.
So I continue going through life
Like a broken machine.
Noah Stowe Sep 2016
They contain us like vicious creatures.
If we escape the box we are forced into,
We must be hunted down and stopped,
Or put into a new, stronger box.

The only way we can escape
Is if all the boxes are destroyed
Or every creature has its own, perfect, self-made box.
Noah Stowe Jan 2015
join my journey
to nowhere in particular

to the depths of my soul
and to the back of my mind

dance in the darkest parts of my mind
and sing in the brightest place of my heart
Noah Stowe Jun 2017
broken crayons
organized by colour
and size
shape and fracture
they’re all used
all beautiful
but for some reason
everyone prefers a colour
they say they love the rainbow
but when it rains
they find the shelter
they say they love the smile
but when tears
mark enemies of good thoughts
they back away
into the depths
broken crayons
aren’t meant for being sat on
broken crayons
can still draw
images of velvet skies
and crystalline water
but you’ll always reach
for the whole
before you think
to touch the broken
Noah Stowe Oct 2016
Imagine a person that is dead
Imagine their eyes rolled back in their head
Imagine their lifeless body without any heat
Imagine their heart that no longer beats
Imagine their brain that no longer thinks
Imagine their eyes that no longer blink.
Imagine their body, lifeless and dead.

Now look me in the eyes and you'll  realize that not every dead person is concealed behind a coffin lid.
Noah Stowe Mar 2015
dear                        lover
I think you          tried to use
Cupid's bow on m-  e, well I guess it
worked.  You hit me in the heart
We fell in love. We kissed. We
hugged. We put on a show
for our friends to laugh
at.  But then it
the poison
left my heart
and made realize
what a fool I was. You
hurt my heart, you didn't
heal it from the pain of the past
I hope you realize that instead of
pulling the arrow out gently, You let
it break inside of me. And now you want
my heart back?  No it's gone.  I put it on a higher
shelf for those who truly care. If you want my heart back
you'll need a taller chair.   My heart doesn't want you now

former lover
if you really care
find another person
who knows how to fall
for a heart breaker because
now I know w-        hy it's called
falling in lov-         e and why it's
called a crush.            I really hope you
find a lover who's            as gullible as you

This is written from the point of view of a teen who has just broken up from a terrible relationship.
Noah Stowe Aug 2016
Swept beneath the ocean waves,

Gasping for air,

Never quite reaching the surface.
Noah Stowe Nov 2015
In the deepest cave
a monster waits.
Crouched alone I wait to be rescued
but help cannot save the blackest of souls.
As I sit and wonder,
Without a drop of hope,
The monster devours me.
Nothing ever seems to help,
Not the kiss of true love or a safe place to hide.
Nothing will help...
Nothing but you.
Noah Stowe Dec 2015
is always
portrayed as some
beautiful diamond always
perfect, smooth, and ready  to buy.  
But sometimes diamonds are
not perfect.  A rough
edge.  A small
Isn't always perfect...
And                          sometimes
It hurts                                    even to cry
And                                           sometimes
The                                             strength
we need                                           isn't there
when we                                  need it most
And we                            fall apart
with no          shoulder
to cry on...

Life isn't a diamond ring.
Noah Stowe Jun 2017
draw me the sky
with the angels weeping
draw me the moon
with all its flaws
we all have flaws
we all die off
we won’t last forever
and that’s why
the angels weep
and demons preach
and never for the right reasons
draw me your world
in perfect perfection
and i’ll draw you mine
in exact chaos
the world wasn’t meant
to be distorted
it’s a vile creature
of native things
sin isn’t abnormal
and we don’t pray away the sin
we pray away the pain
Noah Stowe Nov 2015
                 ­                                                           ve
                                                                ­              m-
                                                ­                               e I
                                                               ­               am
                                                                ­            dro
                                                 ­                         wni
                                    ­       ng in                    my
                                       own emot              ions
                                          ­please          save me
                                 from myself I am drown
                               ing in   my own thought
                             and  I     keep sinking
                             deep       er into thou
                             ghts         I need you
                               to           pull me up
                                to           safety befo
                                              re I disapp
                                              ear into the
­                                                     bel
    ­                                                    p
           ­                                                 l
   ­                                                   e
            ­                                            h
                   ­                                        e
        ­                                             m
     ­                                                   b
            ­                                             e
       ­                                          **i
           ­                                  's      
                     ­                 l
        ­                               t
                 ­                              .
Noah Stowe Nov 2015
Writing down my thoughts
On the crisp white paper
Nothing seems to explain
My love for you
better than a blank page.
Noah Stowe Sep 2016
staring into the dark waters
endlessly deep, dark waters
took a step forward
and fell
into the deep, dark, endless waters
that make up your soul
Noah Stowe Nov 2015
You promised forever...
Forever what?
Forever Alone
Forever Together
Noah Stowe Nov 2015
Remember in first grade
When we swore our friendship
And treated it like it was engraved in stone

Remember in second grade
When I got a new friend
And you were convinced I has replaced you, so you "replaced" me

Remember in fifth grade
When we were going to middle school
And you made me re-sware our friendship

Remember this year
When you left me
And I was all alone in the world to fend for myself
Noah Stowe Sep 2016
Encased in a delicate
Glass ball
Each of us is trapped in our own
Yet we never realize
That one small move
Will shatter the glass ball.
Noah Stowe Mar 2015
i am a very talented typing cat
all though i know how to use capital letters and punctuation marks
i cant stand them i have decided to take over the world through lack of both
if you cant use comas then lets eat grandma will **** everybody
leaving me the only one left
but what happens when somebody says something that kills the cats
i am beginning to see why we use grammar
yet i still refuse
i wish i could explain to you why my predicament is so brain racking
but what if i did take over the world with lack of grammar
but then again what if i took over the world through extensive use of grammar
causing everybodys brain to take over their body
wait arent brains already in control
so what if the lack of grammar caused the brain to only focus on my lack of proper english
and now you see why english teachers say they arent payed enough
so maybe if i used an extensive amount of grammar then people would be required to go back to school
just because a cat is smarter than they
and then the outcome would be a financial crisis causing more people to be poor
and goods to become more expensive
maybe i can take over the world with extensive grammar usage

now i just need to figure out how to get people to read my work

please excuse my spelling and grammar i may be a very intelligent cat
but i too am lazy
This is a poem to show people that they shouldn't be overly worried about grammar.
Noah Stowe Jan 2015
hello dear
I see you still have a glimpse of that beautiful smile
even if I ruined it

your scratched up *****, and worn face
still beautiful in the sunlight
yet worn by the years of work

hello dear
I see you still have a glimpse of that beautiful smile
even if I ruined it

I changed your way of life
I edited everything about you
wear this jewel, that scarf for me

hello dear
I see you still have a glimpse of that beautiful smile
even if I ruined it

I'm surprised to see you care about me
surprised you still provide for me
surprised to see your worn-out face still handing me breakfast

hello dear
I see you still have a glimpse of that beautiful smile
even if I ruined it

dear mother earth
I'm sorry
Noah Stowe Dec 2016
Je t'aime.
Ma vie est plus belle avec toi.
Tu es la lumière de ma vie.
Tu as ma coeur.
Je t'aime.
J'ai ta coeur.
Nous sommes tombés en amour.
Tu es mienne,
Et je t’appartiens.
Je t'aime.
Pour ma petite amie.
Noah Stowe Jan 2015
The strange child watches me
copies every step
when I move
he also does
and when I die
he falls.
Noah Stowe May 2016
I am the moon
And you are the sun.
You are the light of my life.

You are my everything.

But even though I love you,
We can never meet.
We will never meet.

And so I am the moon,
And you are my sun.

Ma vie est plus belle avec toi,
*Tu es la lumière de ma vie.
Dear Ky Stowe;
If you are reading this, I miss you so much.  This poem romantic while our relationship is only platonic but the message still stands.

My life is more beautiful with you,
You are the light of my life.
Noah Stowe Nov 2016
Parallel lines
Running forever
I found a friend that will stay next to me like those lines
Those beautiful, thin parallel lines
Running on and on
A deep reminder of my life
The lovely lines that match the colour of the pretty girl's lips
The pain isn't felt when the friend leaves
But rather is painful when present
Some say my friend is terrible
But I defend my friends no matter what.
And likewise, I will protect my friend
The blade.
Noah Stowe Jan 2017
I was a broken mess
You are the gold
Holding me together
And making me more beautiful.
Noah Stowe Nov 2015
Brushing off
the dusty pages
I continue the story
I once began
I used to question
If the world deserved to hear my story
Now, with pen in hand, I question
If I am allowed me to keep those secrets
Hidden in the depths of my soul
Controlling my hand
The pen starts to write
Sharing all of the secrets
I thought I could hide.
Noah Stowe Sep 2016
Please, let me hold you.
One last time.
Please, let me tell you I love you.
One last time.
Please, let me kiss you.
One last time.
Just let me love you.
One last time.

One last time
Before you go.

Before you slip out of my reach forever.

Just one last time.
A poem that goes with a story. (The poem and the story can be read separately or together. And both of which were written by me.) This is copyrighted by Alex Stowe.
Noah Stowe Nov 2015
Hiding behind a pseudonym
I begin to wonder if the words I write are enough
Or if I will be forgotten forever.
So hidden behind a pseudonym I will stay
Waiting until I am good enough.
Noah Stowe Jul 2017
i have learned
that love
does not come
without strings
people love for their benefit
and nothing else

i have never
been truly loved
Noah Stowe Jan 2016
Fighting tears and clouded thoughts
I began to question if this was all
That there is in the world,
Small, hopeless moments of love,
Only to return
To our cold dark world that is reality.
Noah Stowe Nov 2015
Another silent tear drips down my face.
Laugh, stay calm, act normal for once.
The night is a softer shade of black than my heart.
Don't let them know how much you hurt.
The pain tugs at my heart.

And* yet again it happens my thoughts collide with reality and I cannot control my tears.
Noah Stowe Nov 2015
I Didn't Believe In*  The Idea Of Anyone Repairing My Heart
And The Idea Of A Love  At        First Sight Was So Fake To Me
In Pain And Fear Well I Didn't Believe It Until Then That Anyone  Can Hurt Me Now.  Now That I Met You, I Believe That ANy
One May Say Love You and I Want You In My Life and Not Mean
It Truly.  And This Mad Love Is Truly  Painful and
Broken. Pain Is Rushing To My Mind And It Hurts to Love
It Hurts So Much I Can't Think Straight No Matter What
And Reality Is Dripping Away
Away From

Read all of the text, then go back and only read the Italics.  Also the italics form a heart.
Noah Stowe Apr 2016
Follow the rules
There are patterns
A tempo and a beat
The world runs off rhythm.
There is a tune
Find the harmony
Find the melody

The music of life has strict rules to follow

There are always a few little tricks and
some logic behind the song.

But sometimes the world forgets Jazz
The music that doesn't fit.
*The music just like me.
I wrote this as part of an essay.  Here is the description of the poem as described in my essay:
The poem The Rhythm of My Soul is a poem about breaking the boundaries to find who you are.  Much like life, music allows people to add their own side to the world.  Life is like music, every person is a different note, if every person is the same note our song would just be a solid sound.
Noah Stowe Sep 2016
Sinking into the depths of the sea,
Her mind like an anchor,
Dragging her down.
But her heart,
Like a raft trying, forever, to pull her back up.

And finally the raft pops.
She sinks down.


And farther,

Until the light of the beautiful sun
Won't even touch her fragile face.
Noah Stowe Jun 2016
Dear World;
I'm so sorry
That I wouldn't tell you about the pain.
That you couldn't see me sinking in
Until I sunk too deep.
That you couldn't hear my screams
Until they were gone.
That you couldn't see my pain
Until I went numb.
Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
All of my depression poems after 6/5/2016 will have a suicide hotline number.
Noah Stowe Nov 2015
Tear Dripping
Silently Down My
Cheek Can Describe
My Entire Life.  And
Nobody Seems To
Notice It...
Noah Stowe Nov 2015
Question everything around you
Until you no longer have questions.
Noah Stowe Jan 2016

Oh how the twang of man’s harp
Disrupts my precious sleep.


It’s never put at rest,
“Control yourself,” I thought.


My rage grew deep,
I could hear them laugh at me, already an outcast in this young world.


Somehow, almost as if I were possessed,
I began to **** them one by one.


Night by night the casualties grew,
I couldn’t control myself, it’s a demon’s curse.


I kept killing them,
Until the final night.


The young hero pulled out my arm
And raised it up in a bitter-sweet victory.


Away I ran into my lair
What have I done?


Was this the pain I inflicted on man?
The pain was throbbing and strong, like no pain I had ever felt.

Finally the world went black.

The twang was gone.

At peace I will lay forever.
I hope mother won’t make the same mistake.
Noah Stowe Oct 2017
***** laced lips
Stumble over slurs.
I try not to trip over
Your tangle of lies,
Glass shattered at my feet.
The only silver lining
Is the cigarette
Smoke-filled air
And broken shards
Shining up with epicaricacy.
Masquerade behind bitter liquid lips,
Shallow promises.
Innocent heart, ragged with age.
Noah Stowe Oct 2016
(Five parts, all are listed here.)
My mind battles my body
Tearing apart the threads of what I live for
An eternal fight that can never be won
Time running out
Nothing seems to save me
Part of me wanting to live
Part of me wanting to die
Neither side winning
Yet neither side losing.
And time is the only constant.
But time is the thing I have the least of
Time is the thing that I’m losing
And no matter what I do,
The war is always raging.
The battle never ending.
And that’s the way my life feels.
A constant battle of good and bad.
A constant battle of the will to live
And the will to die.

I dream of happiness
Yet everything good
Is torn away from me
By depression
Never feeling good enough
But needing something
To hold onto.
The hunger of that thing
Rips into my heart
Gnawing on my soul
Eating everything it can reach.
But nothing satisfies its appetite.
Of the thing it needs most.
So I let it consume me
Sense I can’t control it.
No matter what I do.

Depression leaks into my soul.
It covers every part of me with a black, consuming acid.
It wants to steal me away slowly.
But it isn’t merciful enough to finish the task.
And it isn’t merciful enough to surface to the outside.
Where others can see it.
So it consumes my soul,
My mind,
My body.
And enjoys my suffering.
The darkness fills every corner of my body.
And filters out the light.
Taking my body over so even I can’t control it.
Using myself against me.
Showing me my weaknesses but not my strengths.
And somehow, I’m still here despite the mental disease worse than any physical one.
Because it can’t be cured with any antidote, no matter how strong.
No matter what I do, the darkness seems to win.

My heart has stopped working
It doesn’t care about beating, the darkness has already stopped it from wanting and willing to live.
My brain has stopped thinking
The darkness won’t let it think anything but thoughts of darkness, why think when you can’t.
My face has stopped smiling
Nobody believes it anyways, the darkness can’t be seen, but my laugh has already been terminated.
My soul has stopped living
It has no reason to, not when the darkness has stolen its faith of a new beginning.
My body has stopped sleeping
Why sleep when all your dreams are filled with nightmares, when all your nights are restless to begin with?
My mind has stopped caring
It doesn’t need to, not when the darkness has already shown it that each thing it loved can be lost.
My eyes have stopped crying
Why cry when you have nothing left to care about? When everything you loved has left?
My body has grown limp
Why move when you have no reason to live?
My body is just a machine.
I’ve become a mindless automaton controlled by the dark depression I’ve fallen into.
My fingers have stopped typing
Why type when you’ve nothing to say? When the words run dry, when everything you say is just mindless babbling?
Why live when you can’t?
Why live when you’ve already died to begin with?

The Angel
The darkness has filled me.
I’m close to the end.
One more step and I’m gone.
One more step and it’s over.
But then there is a light.
A light more beautiful than any other.
More vibrant than the sun.
A star is nothing compared to the way the light shone.
And the angel approached me.
It tried to remove the darkness.
It couldn’t.
No matter how it tried.
So instead, it comforted me.
But the angel was whisked away from me.
Right as the darkness was losing its strength.
And so I was forced to watch the angel leave.
My angel. My hope. My love, removed from me.
The thing that gave me light in the darkness was taken away.
The end of my tunnel was closed off.
Each poem has its own writing style to match the Horsemen or the Angel. The Angel represents the hope I was given to escape depression, but it was taken away from me.
Noah Stowe Nov 2015
I sit and gaze up at the stars
A baby still curious and young of age
Not a clue in the world
Just a curious babe

Now five, I wonder about life
How do I exist
Innocently, I ponder life
And all things

A fifteen, love is on my mind
Who will I love and what is love like
Dating and breaking up, it's what I do
I sit and question love.

Now eighteen I question the future
Will I get married or go to college
The future is still big and I have lots of time
So I think about the future.

Now twenty-six and already it's time
What will I do for the rest of my life
Is this truly what I want to do forever
So I question my decisions

Already fifty-five and it's time to decide
When will I retire and what will I do
Do I truly want to give up my job
So I question my options

Finally one-hundred and eight
I start to question
where did all the time go by
So I question death.
Noah Stowe Nov 2015
Hidden behind a mask
Lies a beast
Waiting for the right moment to pounce.

Attacking his children first
Followed by those
who try to protect them

And whenever
An angel passes by,
On goes the mask hiding his hatred

The only time the beast won't pounce
Is when the angel is around.
Noah Stowe Aug 2016
Her words went unheard.
Her story untold.
She lived in silence.
A deafening silence.

But had her voice been heard,
The world would have turned out better.

And the world would have been filled
With deafening noise.
Noah Stowe Sep 2016
I sit at the table next to you.
Dreaming of being with you.
To sit there with you.
To laugh.
To share your jokes.
Your stories.
Your laughter and
Your tears.
But you put me at this table.
You shoved me aside as though
I was just some unwanted or discarded
Piece of gum stuck on your shoe.
You won't let me sit there with you.
And it isn't because you're popular.
It's because I'm different.
And you're afraid of change and of diversity.
You're afraid of my ways affecting you.
You think that my identity is going to rub off onto you and ruin your social aesthetic.
Stop judging me for something I can't control.
You think that my race, my gender, my ****** orientation will affect you.
But it doesn't.
It affects me.
It changes the way I speak.
Changes where I'm allowed to go.
Changes what I'm allowed to do.
Changes who will accept me.
It may even change whether I have a home or not.
So don't you go saying that my identity will ruin the way your friends see you.
Don't say it will ruin your life for being friends with someone like me.
Because losing a friend is the least of my concerns.
Next time you shove someone aside and force them into the table next to you, imagine how hard it would be to not just lose a home,
But to not even be accepted in the place where you feel most comfortable and with the people you thought cared most.
Next time, don't shove us to the other table.
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