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"realises" poems
***Night came and conquered my ceiling Head tilted back to inherit it's familiar splendour. But she isn't there... Left my heart slightly gaping. O twinkly one, have you seen her?*** *She's mysteriously veiled tonight, Playfully on her halo, dances gentle light. Don't give up on her, listless moongazer, She wants to be conquered, put up a good fight.* ***Persistent skirmish that sets dreams and reality apart, Eyes don't see what the heart knows so clear, Clarity eludes when forgotten scars start to smart, Do you know if she even realises I'm here?*** *She knows, and dreams of your happy eyes, That only her will hold on their feverish gaze. Unbroken threads of hope, your yearning to baptize And her ice cold craters to be set ablaze.* ***Fire in my vessel still burns bright and strong, Never extinguished behind the facade of my weary husk, My flame would endure just as the wick is long, Tell me dear star, will I see her next dusk?*** *When the sun's swords will seize, slashing the sky in dazzling blue, When the air will bring a comforting ease, Her glistening "yes" will welcome you.* ***Your comforting words ring only of truth, Winking in codes, you might be right . Darkness had claimed and engulfed all proof, Will you accompany me through tonight?*** *This piercing question you don't have to ask me, For even though my light's billion of years away, Twinkling in your dreams I'll always be, The night companion, under your moon's ray.* ryn Dajena M
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Mar 1, 2015
Mar 1, 2015 at 10:29 AM UTC
Dialogue with a Star
Perhaps I'm encased in a box made out of two-way glass. A biased one-way mirror... Mutual vision doesn't meet nor pass. When you look at me, you only see, yourself for all that you care... Me? Just a faint suggestion that I'm even there.    Maybe that's why...       you ask about my life,       about my strife.       When I'm about to unload my       head,       I end up having to hear about yours       instead. Perhaps at times I travel around in a bubble of frosted glass. Only a blurred version of me... Clumsily ploughing through the mass. Incoherent, misunderstood and unclear. Unintelligible muffles of hopes and fear.    Maybe that's why...       My words are just perceived as       playful rhymes.       Never keeping up with the times.       Words regurgitated but no one       realises what's coming undone... Perhaps what I need is an armour of bulletproof glass. One of unique quality... One ahead of its class. You can do and say what you want. A shell that would bear most of the brunt.      *I'll be impervious.           I'll be protected.                I can be indifferent.                     I can be jaded.*    Maybe that's all I need...            *A shocking stunt.                  A fresh perspective.                       A new plan.                            Revised objectives.*    Maybe a different name to start all    over...       To tie the binds and thoughts that       scatter...       Hoping of holding everything       together... Come morning, all will be       forgotten... Maybe I'd still be beaten.    So for a chance that's,      fat as hell            or      thin just a sliver... Truth is of the three, I have neither... So...     what I've said doesn't really matter.
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Oct 18, 2014
Oct 18, 2014 at 1:36 PM UTC
Maybe
Perhaps I'm encased in a box made out of two-way glass. A biased one-way mirror... Mutual vision doesn't meet nor pass. When you look at me, you only see, yourself for all that you care... Me? Just a faint suggestion that I'm even there.    Maybe that's why...       you ask about my life,       about my strife.       When I'm about to unload my       head,       I end up having to hear about yours       instead. Perhaps at times I travel around in a bubble of frosted glass. Only a blurred version of me... Clumsily ploughing through the mass. Incoherent, misunderstood and unclear. Unintelligible muffles of hopes and fear.    Maybe that's why...       My words are just perceived as       playful rhymes.       Never keeping up with the times.       Words regurgitated but no one       realises what's coming undone... Perhaps what I need is an armour of bulletproof glass. One of unique quality... One ahead of its class. You can do and say what you want. A shell that would bear most of the brunt.      *I'll be impervious.           I'll be protected.                I can be indifferent.                     I can be jaded.*    Maybe that's all I need...            *A shocking stunt.                  A fresh perspective.                       A new plan.                            Revised objectives.*    Maybe a different name to start all    over...       To tie the binds and thoughts that       scatter...       Hoping of holding everything       together... Come morning, all will be       forgotten... Maybe I'd still be beaten.    So for a chance that's,      fat as hell            or      thin just a sliver... Truth is of the three, I have neither... So...     what I've said doesn't really matter.
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58
I'm not as strong as everyone thinks I am, But it's not like anyone gives a **** I have a constant reminder of my depression. It rests on my wrist in a line shaped fashion. It was somehow an accident, my mother believes. Little does she know that it was truly my intention. Everytime I'm out in public I pinch myself only wishing, I would've cut deeper, maybe just an inch further. Would I somehow keep breathing, would I be missed? Maybe for a little while, but I doubt it would've sticked. No one ever realises the pain until it's taken something away.
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Apr 21, 2015
Apr 21, 2015 at 10:32 AM UTC
Depression
I have found soft soil in secret parts of your body Pushed it back with my fingers, stuck underneath My finger nails and unearthed lore of lands and Spirits that run around and make me realises how much I miss your stupid face when you’re not digging up my weeds
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Apr 28, 2014
Apr 28, 2014 at 7:52 PM UTC
19.04.14 - 11:58 pm
the copper beech tree, rooted over the road, seems ageless though it has been, there since Grandfather Time, came from some unknown place, and implemented his power, into the land. the copper beech tree, hangs over the road, the branches move, like a body of fine hair in the wind, to and fro to and fro to and fro. the copper beech tree, still over the road, sees all walks of life, the scolding ***** the busy mothers, the mindless teens. the copper beech tree, watches us from over the road, gazing into this silent home. It knows, it realises, It sees, it feels, all the way down, to its wise roots.
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Jun 21, 2013
Jun 21, 2013 at 3:57 PM UTC
The copper beech tree
After laying awake way past her bedtime There where nights she cried herself to sleep, Thinking how could she have possibly been so naive? But as she closed her eyes and wanders down the streets of once-used-to-be's She realises, she'd lost herself to a past of full of mistreatment But now she refuses to be a victim of it and stands tall rising above it There used to be a time she'd been used, and so to be used was all she knew And to crave love, a sense of belongingness, was unthinkably selfish So instead of finding love from within, She'd give her all to all those who'd treat her like she didn't mean a thing And apologised and forgave repeatedly though she was never to blame She became a dreamer of dreams to cope with the painful reality of things But now instead of living with wishful thinking She wakes up and struggles hard to make her dreams into a reality No longer a slave to her fictional fantasies
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Jan 6, 2015
Jan 6, 2015 at 12:26 PM UTC
Memory Lane
I am told Nun is a picture of a humbled gasping fish who realises he can only truly swim in a sea of His righteousness.    © Qwey.ku
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Jun 27, 2014
Jun 27, 2014 at 2:56 AM UTC
TWENTY TWO
Well, I've written two . . . sonnets . . first ones from the point of view of a typical twit youngish bloke . when he realises his latest conquests a bit keen like . . . He writes a poem . . . Leaves it lying around carelessly So I'm to meet .your mum and dad ? . . . But I thought this . a one time **** . . . Not children planned or Sunday roasts I dreamt no champagne wedding toasts . . . ! They're coming round for tea . . tonight ?. . . This ***** no longer feeling right . . ! In epic terms this now's a fail . ! I think . it's time for me to bail !! Though . . something sparkled in your kiss, A luscious tingling of lips . . Add alcoholic lust fuelled hips Whose groovy moves I know I'd miss . . So . . . If I meet your mum and dad . Then that gets me . . another **** She finds the poem . . And replies . . . Dear silly boy . who left behind His hopeful sentimental rhyme . . . Who fancies meeting mum and dad Just to secure another **** . . . Well pretty boy . . KEEP DREAMING ON . . . Since any chance you had . . has gone, I found your rhyme upon the floor . . Now ******* closed . . as is my door It's such a shame . . you'll never know How far down I can really go . . Nor that my naughty little hand Is worth your golden wedding band My poet lad . . you've well derailed All future chance . . of getting nailed
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Aug 9, 2013
Aug 9, 2013 at 12:14 PM UTC
Two silly sonnets
How many masks do I have in my collection until someone realises something is off? How long does the party go on until everyone goes home, strips off and sees that not everything is as lovely, as majestic as how the lights, decorations and music made it out to be? How many more superhero costumes are made until they save me, from me? -m.b
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May 31, 2017
May 31, 2017 at 4:49 AM UTC
Of masks and costumes
Her mind has become a tangle of webs. Her memories fight against each other as she tries to recall her wedding dress. Words mix and mingle as her grandchildren tell her about their day. Past and present blur as her loved ones dance beside the lake. She weeps and she frowns as she realises that she's not well. She smiles as she bids her daughter farewell.
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Apr 7, 2016
Apr 7, 2016 at 11:00 AM UTC
The Broken Mind
Two great minds On each other they land Each never knew the other But they fought each other The secret was kept Not to let unconscious conscious So there were two men One a poacher The other trader. Trader:my friend, make me a sword, My honey I give in return. Poacher:ok,let us meet tomorrow. (They part) The trader was a liar The poacher was a cheat The day came Each sent a boy to pick the items Trader:(sent soil,smeared by honey,) Received a wood carefully Chopped and a sword It looked. Caught amazed Just laughed at himself Pocher:(sent the "sword") Received the "honey" Caught amused Laugh at the haux ... Again, The poacher invite the trader They go poach The day was set And it came,off they set The bush rough, Grass wet, Poach on the lead! Poach:(seeing an angry beast,) My friend,the coarse has Turned rough,come lead this Shrubby path! Trader:is it ***** or thorny? Poach: ***** Trader:I lead we go back home,turn And follow me! They went back home The danger was evaded. The liar and the cheat were clever. The trader invited the poach Come for this honey we got to harvest And he came Trader:(climbs the tree,he realises that there was a big snake inside) My friend,the bees are fierce Come help me. Pocher:is it smooth or sticky? Trader:smooth my friend! Poacher: come we go,we have to set another day then The clever men went home save The liar lost,the cheat lost They were clever. The cheat invited the liar, Come home for a meal! That day he drank a cow! And the friend arrived A heavy lunch then, Poacher:I have a problem,for years This my cow has been sick! What kind of sickness This can be? Trader:(taking his time,'staggering?') If cows could take alcohol I can say this one is drank! ...... The men laughed jointly And the wisdom minds Got them by surprise. The liar and the cheater Were the best wisdom Of the time
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Jan 17, 2015
Jan 17, 2015 at 1:59 AM UTC
Two wisdoms fighting
Two great minds On each other they land Each never knew the other But they fought each other The secret was kept Not to let unconscious conscious So there were two men One a poacher The other trader. Trader:my friend, make me a sword, My honey I give in return. Poacher:ok,let us meet tomorrow. (They part) The trader was a liar The poacher was a cheat The day came Each sent a boy to pick the items Trader:(sent soil,smeared by honey,) Received a wood carefully Chopped and a sword It looked. Caught amazed Just laughed at himself Pocher:(sent the "sword") Received the "honey" Caught amused Laugh at the haux ... Again, The poacher invite the trader They go poach The day was set And it came,off they set The bush rough, Grass wet, Poach on the lead! Poach:(seeing an angry beast,) My friend,the coarse has Turned rough,come lead this Shrubby path! Trader:is it ***** or thorny? Poach: ***** Trader:I lead we go back home,turn And follow me! They went back home The danger was evaded. The liar and the cheat were clever. The trader invited the poach Come for this honey we got to harvest And he came Trader:(climbs the tree,he realises that there was a big snake inside) My friend,the bees are fierce Come help me. Pocher:is it smooth or sticky? Trader:smooth my friend! Poacher: come we go,we have to set another day then The clever men went home save The liar lost,the cheat lost They were clever. The cheat invited the liar, Come home for a meal! That day he drank a cow! And the friend arrived A heavy lunch then, Poacher:I have a problem,for years This my cow has been sick! What kind of sickness This can be? Trader:(taking his time,'staggering?') If cows could take alcohol I can say this one is drank! ...... The men laughed jointly And the wisdom minds Got them by surprise. The liar and the cheater Were the best wisdom Of the time
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82
she sits alone gazing out into the distance her feet dangling in the water, she questions her existence and the clouds look like they could fall out of the sky and engulf her; she says she's not afraid to die she's afraid of being average but the beauty of her mind betrays this and she doesn't want to be a burden a waste the tears falling from her eyes are smudging the freckles on her face whilst she sits alone, she plays with her hands she doesn't mean to cry as her lungs expand and the simple epiphany that her body is doing all it can to maintain her life provides a profound ability to view the world differently she realises she'll never get to live it twice and she picks up two daisies one in each hand and all that's in front of her now is outstretched land all the while, her tears were drying and with them the sadness subsided she smiles and is grateful for the time she gets to witness the world's chaos and madness colliding - she'd rather be a part of it and watch the sun rise each morning than let it all go and never see a new day dawning the stars may implode sometimes and even the sky sheds it's tears but those stars were full of particles essential for new life and that sky is home to the rainbow, awe rife at the sight every individual has their fears, regrets and may become disheartened or depressed but we're all on this rock together and no one's alone in their distress sometimes you have to hold your own hand to make it through you're strong, you can do this, i believe in you
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Jul 17, 2014
Jul 17, 2014 at 4:57 AM UTC
you're more than you know
she sits alone gazing out into the distance her feet dangling in the water, she questions her existence and the clouds look like they could fall out of the sky and engulf her; she says she's not afraid to die she's afraid of being average but the beauty of her mind betrays this and she doesn't want to be a burden a waste the tears falling from her eyes are smudging the freckles on her face whilst she sits alone, she plays with her hands she doesn't mean to cry as her lungs expand and the simple epiphany that her body is doing all it can to maintain her life provides a profound ability to view the world differently she realises she'll never get to live it twice and she picks up two daisies one in each hand and all that's in front of her now is outstretched land all the while, her tears were drying and with them the sadness subsided she smiles and is grateful for the time she gets to witness the world's chaos and madness colliding - she'd rather be a part of it and watch the sun rise each morning than let it all go and never see a new day dawning the stars may implode sometimes and even the sky sheds it's tears but those stars were full of particles essential for new life and that sky is home to the rainbow, awe rife at the sight every individual has their fears, regrets and may become disheartened or depressed but we're all on this rock together and no one's alone in their distress sometimes you have to hold your own hand to make it through you're strong, you can do this, i believe in you
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29
And he traces her inner thigh with his lips, eliciting a moan from her as he teases her entrance. He slides a finger in, pressing deep inside her. She bucks her hips up to meet his knuckle, he growls with feigned arousal. He resurfaces, attacking her mouth, owning her. She surrenders to his tongue, if only to allow nostalgia passage. She rubs herself against him, a mewling kitten in heat, crying harder. She fakes an ****** to satisfy him. He presses his **** against her and she realises how little she affects him. Determined, he forces himself past her barrier, grunting and growling. He assaults her mouth again and she reacts accordingly, trailing her nails down his back in a futile attempt to rekindle. She is unsure of how this came to be. She fights back tears as she threads her fingers through his hair. She knows she is still and always will be second best. He grows soft. A tacit agreement. Neither of them finish. She rolls over to face the television. An old british comedy is on loop, making the same stale jokes that may have been funny a decade ago. And here she is, on repeat, making the same mistakes she made a decade ago.
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Oct 16, 2013
Oct 16, 2013 at 9:53 PM UTC
Nostalgia.
That girl with the broken heart Shes worth more than she realises There's a galaxy hidden behind those tired eyes When she smiles she draws you in like a black-hole The tears that spill from her eyes fall like shooting stars And, oh, that heart It loves more harshly than the sun burns!
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May 8, 2017
May 8, 2017 at 5:31 PM UTC
THAT GIRL
You got in the way Of the backlash From uncontrollable, Unreasonable rage Smashed in the mouth Blood and pain Only left with Broken teeth You never saw The coming meltdown All you did Was sit next to him But he doesn't know Never realises Exactly what he did Not his fault He's only a child On a high spectrum You'll forgive him Because I do
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May 12, 2015
May 12, 2015 at 9:56 AM UTC
504: Broken Teeth
I sense it,   I can feel its mist. Thunder begins to roll. Lighting begins to flash. “Drip Drop” Now I can hear it. Where already there, Where getting into it. “Drip Drop” Comes closer to me, Taking away my every breathe Begins to pick up the speed “Drip Drop” We begin to intertwine, I begin to lose control of my mind All of a Sudden “Drip Drop” Realises my struggle Begins slow down Understand me, So it slows down. “Drip Drop” Please I beg take me away, I fell in love with you, Please don’t go away. “Drip Drop” It stayed and waited, Until I fell asleep, Falling into a subliminal state. “Drip Drop” I woke up, Only to remember its sound, Never looked once upon its face. “Drip Drop”
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Nov 19, 2009
Nov 19, 2009 at 9:55 AM UTC
Drip Drop
The wave of storm, Full of coldness, Which never came in person, But — emotionally. Strange, right? Then that night, When you ask yourself for the first time, Ever realising... With all that pain, sitting with a stain, Till the date I doubted — Does it ever make sense? What is love? How does it feel? Will I be able to imagine like Aladdin–Jasmine? Then those questions — revolving, staying, Until you start finding it in every person, right? After a while, you realises How much courage it takes... To love, To stand, To hope, To wait. Then suddenly, this world becomes imaginary, As if it just never existed, Because you never knew — or maybe not — How much this feeling actually takes... Huh! Love — a chemical reaction! With a lot of exceptions — I wonder... Why do we ever love the one whom we can never be with? With confusions, doubts, and overthinking... As if it is just not meant for me... Until the day... out of the blue... Those beautiful eyes meet your gaze — As if it’s just our heart that talked, and we both remained stay. And then, growing every day with your life Realising how those 5 seconds meant you a life.... Not in one day but,there would be a day...when you'll truly realise — You finally found a HOME. – Parisha
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Jul 12, 2025
Jul 12, 2025 at 2:50 PM UTC
Home Of Heart [Part 1]
He steps forward from the shadows His eyes shine with glee As he reaches for the soul of the man Who just departed dearly Black clad people surround him The Grim Reaper blends in just right The dead man's soul walks towards him He claps his hands with delight "A new friend to play with!" he thinks He's really starved for company All the souls around him just mourn For the lives they didn't live fully No one ever thinks of him, Doing this deary job All day and night, without complaint Bearing the hatred of the mob. Everytime he collects a soul, He thinks 'this will be one' To look past his black robes and scythe, Then he can finally have some fun.   Bus alas, its seems as though, It's just not meant to be The Grim Reaper roams the realms, Dejected and lonely. No one realises that He's just misunderstood He's neither vicious nor cruel He's always judged based on his looks So next time you feel sad and alone, Multiply that by infinity Then you'll have a little idea of How the poor Grim Reaper feels!
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Aug 29, 2014
Aug 29, 2014 at 9:00 AM UTC
The Grim Reaper
i know it today, life is a short stay, amidst all wants and desires, of which one never retires, desires for self and self ones, greed together of million tonnes, such things though many times, force me to think of crimes, betraying someone's trust, for things less worthier than dust, seeing death every other day, still thinking we are here to stay, for and ever till, our pocket affords the bill, but no thought is given, wether we go to hell or heaven, our debts money won't pay, karmas will be counted for each day, during our life's course, when we did things with force, which was given temporarily to us, to display whoz god and what he does, acts of humans should be such, giving an estimate of how much, greatness would be in the one, who owes such a nice son, who loves him and all, whoz values are infinitely tall, whoz presence inaugrates all ethical energies, whoz work is beyond all intelligent strategies, who realises god's omnipresence, and make him his life's essence, remember all my dear friends, when all of our life ends, our powers won't accompany us, as in life's course it does, what goes with thw soul then, is all of those times when, we have made someone smile, and loved some other for a little while, laughed in someone's good times, cried in other time of destiny's sad rhyme. I know it today..........................
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Mar 22, 2013
Mar 22, 2013 at 4:20 PM UTC
I Know it Today
If you are wondering whether to go on adventures with the beautiful strange boy with the light eyes that allow you to see into his soul don't because he will leave  your heart in a galaxy far away out of reach and he will make tiny stars burst out of you with each flutter of an eyelash and he will make your pupils dilate and your knees weak and you will not be able to remove the taste of his kisses from your lips and you will not be able to find a fragrance strong enough to disguise his own that he left on you so with every movement you will be reminded of him and you will hurt and if you are wondering whether or not to swap 5 confessions at 4am about 3 words between the 2 of you and how you want to be the only 1 that matters to him don't because he will plant roses in even the darkest corners of you and rip them to pieces when he realises he prefers tulips - A.A. ©
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Dec 5, 2014
Dec 5, 2014 at 9:46 PM UTC
Roses
The puppeteer is the fool, delivering drugs like a mule, unaware of his crime, he will pay a price of time. The puppeteer approaches his boss, in a room with some moss. A man with two tears tattooed on his face, holds out the his gross overpay and hands him mace. The Puppeteer walks with what he believes is just cheats, not hearing the sound of foot beats. to late to block, he is clocked. The puppeteer protects what is his, the boy beats him without a single miss, out comes his hero in a baseball cap, threatening the boy he tries to leave the map. The puppeteers pride is damaged, and takes the bat hitting his atter leaving him in bandages. paying off the right people the man with tear tattoo's make all the charges become taboo. The puppeteer reads the news, the boy he attacked might be set a new, sitting by the rail on valentines day, his friend approaches with a blush like a bae. The puppeteer hears the boy say love, he pushes his into the wall not wanting to be his dove, though secretly he feels different, and his hero can tell and kisses him not ashamed he is indifferent. The puppeteer panics he is set a miss for he never expected to receive a kiss, he shoves him off and yells queer, his heart is set with fear. The puppeteer sees him sit down next to him, his girlfriend near he won't mention it Kim, looking for justice an older brother show up, though he is ignored as his opponent sips from a cup. The puppeteer hears a shot be fired, he realises he is deaths desire, when all went black, his eyes open to see the gunman be pushed a back. The puppeteer smiles for he has won, till his hand touched someone, looking to the side their lies the hero, and the puppeteers sanity hits zero. Complete our dream that is his last call, before the hero's eyes will fall. an unmarked grave is mentioned through my rhyme, nothing can heal the heart not even time. One goal is set in mind, and he will accomplish it in do time, to become an artist of the written word, only then can the puppeteer become a bird. The puppeteer lives no more, for now he closes the past's door.
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Sep 23, 2014
Sep 23, 2014 at 2:40 PM UTC
The Final Day Of The Pupeteer
The puppeteer is the fool, delivering drugs like a mule, unaware of his crime, he will pay a price of time. The puppeteer approaches his boss, in a room with some moss. A man with two tears tattooed on his face, holds out the his gross overpay and hands him mace. The Puppeteer walks with what he believes is just cheats, not hearing the sound of foot beats. to late to block, he is clocked. The puppeteer protects what is his, the boy beats him without a single miss, out comes his hero in a baseball cap, threatening the boy he tries to leave the map. The puppeteers pride is damaged, and takes the bat hitting his atter leaving him in bandages. paying off the right people the man with tear tattoo's make all the charges become taboo. The puppeteer reads the news, the boy he attacked might be set a new, sitting by the rail on valentines day, his friend approaches with a blush like a bae. The puppeteer hears the boy say love, he pushes his into the wall not wanting to be his dove, though secretly he feels different, and his hero can tell and kisses him not ashamed he is indifferent. The puppeteer panics he is set a miss for he never expected to receive a kiss, he shoves him off and yells queer, his heart is set with fear. The puppeteer sees him sit down next to him, his girlfriend near he won't mention it Kim, looking for justice an older brother show up, though he is ignored as his opponent sips from a cup. The puppeteer hears a shot be fired, he realises he is deaths desire, when all went black, his eyes open to see the gunman be pushed a back. The puppeteer smiles for he has won, till his hand touched someone, looking to the side their lies the hero, and the puppeteers sanity hits zero. Complete our dream that is his last call, before the hero's eyes will fall. an unmarked grave is mentioned through my rhyme, nothing can heal the heart not even time. One goal is set in mind, and he will accomplish it in do time, to become an artist of the written word, only then can the puppeteer become a bird. The puppeteer lives no more, for now he closes the past's door.
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54
Kinda ironic I write poems and find myself writing about how much I hate English. **I don't want to read Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde again or analyse a play!** No matter how interesting. The themes are the the themes and the characters the story tellers but to me it's just words No link in my head. Every sentence is read. Then the next, makes no sense. It all seems out of context but no one realises I don't know what the **** the teacher goes on and on about, it goes over my head. I can't explain my ideas because I can't make them myself and I can't understand where anyone else's are from. So I lead my self on a tangent, that could go on and on repeating itself that could go on and on repeating itself that could go on and on repeating itself but will never come back to the beginning. Writing aimlessly but no one seems to see; it's all nonsense to me. Kinda ironic.
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Jun 5, 2016
Jun 5, 2016 at 12:43 PM UTC
Kinda Ironic
I have walked this earth a thousand times. Dirt. A loose aggregate of particles, held together by gravity, and moisture. Rain. Water suspended. Resurging. Cascading in plumes, like sheets of smoke. Sky. Blue. Stretched like canvas. Abstract. Nowhere. Everywhere. I exist. Here. Standing. Thinking. I am dead. I am being born. I am existing across all time and space, but I do not know it. At this moment, I am trapped. I am unconscious. I am unaware. I have walked this earth a thousand times, and cannot even remember. Because it has not happened. Has yet to happen. May never happen. Future. A nonexistence on the horizon. Hope. An ache. A nothing replaced with nothing. Misery. The wretched face in the mirror. A child wears my eyes. She drifts through life. Scared. Alone. Free. She plays in the forest. Her small, sap-covered hands grasp branch after branch. She enters intermediate school. Is called freak. Is judged by her skin, her eyes. She realises she is different for the first time. Alien. Deviant. Other. Her eyes fill with self-hatred. I have watched this moment a thousand times, yet can do nothing. Disintegration. The act of separation. Loneliness. A billion strangers condemned to live together. Existence. A billion billion billion particles, shifting beneath my flesh. There is no death that can end my being. I have felt the atoms of my past collide, and spark into biology. I have felt the atoms of my future shred like fractals, spiralling into a dim, dark nothingness. I have felt all this, and none of it. From infinity I came, to infinity I’ll go. Forever cycling in the pantomime of existence. This pretend construct of space and time.
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Oct 20, 2015
Oct 20, 2015 at 8:45 AM UTC
Recurrence
I have walked this earth a thousand times. Dirt. A loose aggregate of particles, held together by gravity, and moisture. Rain. Water suspended. Resurging. Cascading in plumes, like sheets of smoke. Sky. Blue. Stretched like canvas. Abstract. Nowhere. Everywhere. I exist. Here. Standing. Thinking. I am dead. I am being born. I am existing across all time and space, but I do not know it. At this moment, I am trapped. I am unconscious. I am unaware. I have walked this earth a thousand times, and cannot even remember. Because it has not happened. Has yet to happen. May never happen. Future. A nonexistence on the horizon. Hope. An ache. A nothing replaced with nothing. Misery. The wretched face in the mirror. A child wears my eyes. She drifts through life. Scared. Alone. Free. She plays in the forest. Her small, sap-covered hands grasp branch after branch. She enters intermediate school. Is called freak. Is judged by her skin, her eyes. She realises she is different for the first time. Alien. Deviant. Other. Her eyes fill with self-hatred. I have watched this moment a thousand times, yet can do nothing. Disintegration. The act of separation. Loneliness. A billion strangers condemned to live together. Existence. A billion billion billion particles, shifting beneath my flesh. There is no death that can end my being. I have felt the atoms of my past collide, and spark into biology. I have felt the atoms of my future shred like fractals, spiralling into a dim, dark nothingness. I have felt all this, and none of it. From infinity I came, to infinity I’ll go. Forever cycling in the pantomime of existence. This pretend construct of space and time.
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I see colors. But all I think of is black. The bright blue of the sky Is always clouded by ugly grey clouds In my mind. Each of my eyes Sees different things. One of them sees everything That any normal eye should; Family, friends, birds, trees. A vast blanket of normalness. The other one, however, Sees how threadbare the blanket really is. Sees only the shadows that fall behind Family, friends, birds and trees. The other eye sees everything As it really is. The other eye realises That the lush lawn of our humanity Is really just a concrete floor Painted green.
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Sep 4, 2015
Sep 4, 2015 at 8:39 AM UTC
True eyes.
As she steps forward to take the final bow and as she steps back into the dim amber glow of the fading spotlight that once shone so brightly she realises this is her last she looks out towards the applauding crowd their eyes twinkling like stars their claps roaring like thunder the velvet curtains close leaving her in darkness leaving her Alone.
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Jan 27, 2020
Jan 27, 2020 at 2:12 PM UTC
the dim glow of the fading spotlight