I sat down by the tree in the center of the cul de sac and I stared straight ahead for what seemed like days. There was a brand new mailbox and front door, but my ten year old handprint is still on the driveway.
My favorite dog, Louie, used to lay on that windowsill and patiently wait for me to come back from school, and behind that front window was the formal dining room where my dad first taught me how to play pool.
Just behind that was the kitchen where Momma used to make meat patties and gravy, her hands covered in flour, and the upstairs middle window was where my sisters and I used to argue over who was first in line to shower.
The upstairs window on the far right was where my neighbor used to throw small rocks to get my attention. Eight years later, that friend is now in a cemetery and I think about him and his family more than I can even mention.
The memories of my entire childhood are embedded into each brick of this two story house in Candlelight Hills and knowing that my white picket fence past is now nothing but distant fond memories gives me the chills.
These walls in front of me shaped me into who I am today and as I sit here on the curb reminiscing on my own, I know in my heart that no matter where I live or how many years pass, this will always be my home.
Let's not go down memory lane For we may not come back sober But drunk with pain we caused each other And things will be back to the first squre Of the entire grid that we have crossed Or rather somehow,just stumbled across To stand in this square, together,once again.
Let's not fight,cause it felt nice Talking to you once again tonight All of a sudden I wish to hold you tight And be the source and sink of each others strength Dare to tell me you do not feel the same ?
Let's not be teens,for we were fools back then You physical and me emotional Maybe our grown up depression was meant To bring us on the same page But here on let us just be kids Frolicking in the sun Falling on the grass Drinking the rain And licking our hands Tasting all the fun we ever had Relishing those flavours once again!
Can we go back...to where life met laughter. To when love had more value than fame. To how we used to respect those who came before us. And family extend far beyond the limits of your doorsteps. Can I get back to a gap toothed smile and fill em in puzzles. To puff bread and pecan candy. To walking my hanging with the homies at Dunbar. Who want to go back to walking from Oak St to Wakefield. Playing ball at Centennial Park, East end community center and MLK Elementary. Somehow I've wipped away a lot of my memory, however, I'll never forget my homies playing their makeshift drum set and me winking at their sister behind their back. Childhood crushes right. I have erased dates and events but the way you all have influenced me is engraved in me like the chiseled details on Donatello sculptures. I just want to go.....
After laying awake way past her bedtime There where nights she cried herself to sleep,
Thinking how could she have possibly been so naive?
But as she closed her eyes and wanders down the streets of once-used-to-be's She realises, she'd lost herself to a past of full of mistreatment But now she refuses to be a victim of it and stands tall rising above it There used to be a time she'd been used, and so to be used was all she knew And to crave love, a sense of belongingness, was unthinkably selfish So instead of finding love from within, She'd give her all to all those who'd treat her like she didn't mean a thing And apologised and forgave repeatedly though she was never to blame She became a dreamer of dreams to cope with the painful reality of things
But now instead of living with wishful thinking She wakes up and struggles hard to make her dreams into a reality No longer a slave to her fictional fantasies