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Haych Jul 2017

you're doing your sisters hair.

i'm laying here, miles away, on a bed sprawled next to my notebook and pen.

i feel completely, wholly, utterly numb.


you of all people should know what it's like to slowly loose faith just before the light changes to green. but until it changes, the wait, is what it is. antagonising.


i don't know if i'll make it, i'm numb scared and worried that i won't. i don't even know if you'll be pleased to see me even if i do.


i will always, try my best, to stand by you through everything, please never doubt that. please always remember ~
thinking of you.
Haych Jul 2017

i wanted to message,
ask if you're okay
but it feels silly and pointless
with everything going on.


i don't want to be a
'me' without 'you'


i feel numb. to the facts and events about to come. all i can think of is finding a way back to you right now. that's my mission. that's what i have to, need to, focus on.


i'm trying so hard to keep things together. for you, for me, for us. but it's so hard when all i feel like is im failing at  being an ounce bit of comfort.


the reason i'm rather reluctant to share happier stuff is because i'm selfish too. sometimes i only want to share with a selected few. you're always one of the few though, just incase you had a moment of doubt.

there are happy moments amidst the struggles and they make living life, all the much more bearable (praise be to God).


I miss you to smithereens.
To bits and pieces.
my best friend is getting married and i miss her to the moon and back and beyond
Haych Jan 2017
the problem
with heroes
is that everyone thinks
they're perfect
until they're not.

its almost as if
people can't stand to deal
with the dark sides of people that exist*

nobody likes discovering
the skeletons that we keep
they'll tell you they care
that they'll always be there
that there's nothing
that could ever
change their mind
until something does

then suddenly
curtains are closed
all good that has once been done
disappears into smoke

people love to say
tell me the truth over a lie any day
but when truth comes knocking
*suddenly they're the ones running away
Haych Dec 2016
giving up

isn't an option

when you want to go home.

you've got to fight,

you're going to cry,

you're going to hurt,

time after time after time,

you're going to have to sacrifice,

and give and give and forgive,

and forgive and give and give,

you're going to bleed,

drop by drip by drip,

you're going to have your heart,

ripped to shreds,

over and over and over,

and even when

you think

you're finally numb

the feelings will come back

in waves upon waves

you will never be left to rest

in this world.

test upon test,

will occur,

until it's your time to leave,

and may you leave in the best

and the most beautiful

and painless of ways.

may you find peace,

comfort and happiness,

may you find your way home,

may it be everything you wished,

wanted, and more ~
Haych Aug 2016
its forty-eight minutes past seven pm

time ticks on*

fingers tap on

hearts beat on

eyes search forward

minds yearn more

souls grow tired

so another day sets

another day is gone

was today an accomplishment?

was today a waste?

did you take a second to contemplate?

fingers grow numb

hearts grow warm

*bodies begin to ache, at the thought of time slowly but surely slipping away, marking the certainty of life, that it will end one day, and we will all return back to the One who gave us life in the first place
May we return in a way that is in the best of forms, Ameen ~

Late evening summer reflections.
Haych Apr 2016
Notes to self*:
You don't have to have it all figured out, it's okay
You may not be able to make sense of things always, and that's okay
You're not alone in this world, you'll find a way through this, okay?
You may not understand why things happen, and that's okay
You may be confused and scared right now of so many things, and it's okay to be
Things will fall into place, with time and patience, so stay strong, okay?
I believe in you, even though you lose hope in yourself at times
Turn back to He, who brought you this far in the first place
Be kinder to yourself too, okay?
Haych Apr 2016
She looked left, she saw pain
She looked right, she saw struggling
She looked ahead, she saw tests
She looked behind her, she saw heartbreak
She looked up, she saw illusions and deception
She looked down, she saw cracks in the pavement
she felt very much like the pavement
Walked on. Ignored. Deadly Silent.
People called her 'pretty',
But she was so much more than just a 'face'.
She was skin deep, filled. With intricate delicate details.
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