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Akemi Jun 2022
i wanted to
live in hope

why do i try at all

out the window
like nothing ever
so simple

i wish i could
Akemi Apr 2022
regression into month old sediment
where day old dreams resemble recall into
the arche-fossil of fever
i read the record of a dream i had three days ago
and it felt like a memory from a lifetime ago
Akemi Apr 2022
hallucinations of wildflowers and flooding windpipes
a fig
a bell jar
covid day 2
Akemi Aug 2021
feeling of regressing an endless motion
round and round linoleum
muffled stomach black casing and

movement is nothing but
the making into absence
of what was.

and three hundred years is
a body without sunlight.
Akemi Aug 2021
there's not much point being here
there's an expanse
there're people gathering outside
i can't see them
here there
the empty passages that go on and on and
i haven't moved in years
curled into myself
empty confine
shaking arrowroot
dried to dust.

i thought i was existence
not yet
not yet
Akemi Mar 2021
my skin is peeling away
soon there’ll be nothing left of me

long long ago
there was light dancing on the windowsill
in the dim quiet of
eyes closed to the sun

it’s a lot harder to think

sometimes i see my hands and i wonder who i am
trick of the sunlight
fizzing apart
at the blue red edge of my shadow

today i saw children playing outside
spinning their umbrellas
light across
the parched earth
and it hurt

it’s the feeling of forgetting the air
beyond your room

i just wish i had the grace
of motion without intention

of sunlight
and absence
every year sort of crumples and folds

and there’s only so much space

and no matter how much support i get

i feel like a disappointment

and i’m sure everyone is as tired of me

as i am
Akemi Dec 2020
growth splits the ground
and blisters
everything it touches

you say on and on and on
the same condescension

hung on the tree
bone white
an empty frame
over your eyes

like you’re some holy martyr

i’d rather choke on my *****
than live your life
i don’t think you’ve ever tried to understand me
with your self-absorbed purity politics
judging everything you’ve never engaged with
i’d rather overdose and die than live your ******* hipster life
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