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Akemi Mar 5
a swelling pocket of fat
over and over
the tongue shifts left and right
some nervous gag
mottle
other cascade
where nobody says a thing

well what do you give?

an open palm
a sick ****** wreath
under bath water breathing in half water half air water recedes rises up backwards head recedes as background element neck bone recedes as background element headless corpse motions forward head arrives as foreground element
Akemi Feb 3
the path to love is elsewhere
surface folds create the illusion of depth
in a fully mutable system

this is you
roving and roiling
on your open palm

an offer of lack
in lieu of fulfilment
Akemi Jan 25
infantile death spectrum
blood is litter is
carry on and other unassailable tears
wretched vacuous laughter
the open infinite connect
i choke and choke and choke
and nothing sits right

some eyes hold myths deeper than god

i'm afraid
would you expect otherwise?

petty indifferent me
Akemi Jan 25
there’s a gulf
how i mistook it
eyes turned
you lost in that cruelty
if only for a moment.
how pathetic and petty and wretched

to close my eyes in the light of gentleness
Akemi Jan 24
light barred
through your drifting reach
i’m trying and trying and ******* up

if i could
i’d take in all your frailties
and break

but things would only get worse
Akemi Jan 24
life seemed safe
stab yourself
the harbour would be a nice place to die
if these ******* couples would just leave
leave me the **** alone
my resentment is my resentment is split the city in two and ride your body through ****
some people carry bukowski never read and spill their emptiness into the world
what do you do?
sleep and sleep until everything is worse
everyone is moving moving moving
there is the new bloom
tiqqun staged anew
unbridgeable
Akemi Jan 8
i’m just not sure what you expected
wasting through the flesh of your palm
as if some invariant nightmare was worth chasing
right through your ******* palm

******* distraction
don’t pretend you’re worth anything
you know, i'm starting to think buddhism was right.
and that my psychoanalysis friend was right.
there is no intersubjectivity, no reciprocity.
whatever two desires you thought came together, was nothing but a misapprehension of the situation. you read your own desire in the other, and they read their own desire in you, and you both spent your worthless time together, thinking you were a match, slowly burrowing your expectations into one another's flesh, like ****** idiot worms trying to find a home, but instead making holes.
and then when your expectations fail you, you blame the other, when really you should blame yourself for ever expecting anything.
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