Stop relying the memories
I used to get jealous everytime you posted her,
But when you officially annouced that you are dating her why didn’t I feel annoyed? Sad? Salty?
I guess I’m slowly getting over you
happy for you, as always.
Didn’t want to care too tired to care
Guess it’s enough
We shouldn’t be greedy in life
I’m happy that I get to
Wake up beside you
Breakfast to supper together
Before everything ended.
I shouldn’t be selfish and move on
And let you be together with someone you truly love, someone that won’t make you angry again.
Till the next life.
Love is always selfish, never fair.
I still remembered why you left me
You felt like it isn’t enough
You didn’t give me a chance to talk about it
But it’s okay because the efforts that I put in that took me sweat, tears and blood still doesn’t reach ur expectations.
And hey it’s been 2 years,
Silly me is still waiting for you
while knowing you have her already.
Love me to the fullest when we meet again.. next life.
So painful to see you
Sitting so close to her
Side by side,
Head to shoulder
And hands by the side
Lips by lips.
Teach me how to be happy again
I’m too tired to be sad already.
Each time I fall, you pulled me up
No matter what it takes. Sweat,tears,blood you’ll
Still be here for me, yet I take it for granted
I took granted
I repeat the same mistake
No one likes that, all I care was myself and I was selfish, but you didn’t give up on me
No matter how busy, tired, sick you will still call me and ask me come back home early or ask me if I have eaten all I did was either decline the call or seen the message
Im young and dumb and always thought my friends got my back, but when I ****** things up
You’re the only one supporting me, comforting me, helping me, my pillar of everything.
I love you so much And I don’t say it out
But I’m really thankful and I look back and I regret for not cherishing it I’m sorry that I’m caused you so much trouble, it’s always me
But you never ******* give up on me
You ******* help me all the way
I’m sorry mummy I’m the burden
Life would be easier if I doesn’t exist
I love you please forgive me.
How far more can we walk together?
I want to walk with you just last one time with the same old feelings
Our smile will be the sweetest
And I’ll be the happiest the girl
But I’m not the girl that you wanted
want you to notice me but you notice her instead
Just know that I’ve been waiting painfully
I hate it that I’m been unstable for quite some time and I really hope you’re not the reason why
I don’t want to blame you, all you did is gave me the best but I took granted for it.
Now you’re looking happier than before
I’m glad you’re fine but I’m not
If the time can rewind
I promise I’ll make you the happiest
Thank you for making a huge impact in my life
In a great way because I really enjoyed those days with you.
I lost so much weight
I’m so tired, very tired and I have no idea why
Staying home is boring but going out bring me anxiety and makes me feel like going home.
I miss my friends so much but I’m just too tired to get up, I want to tell them how I feel but it will sound ridiculous
Am I just sick or I have depression?
Who can I seek help from?
My world is so dark everything seems so meaningless, just so tired.
When I’m finally asleep please don’t wake me up
I’m happy there, I just want to sleep forever.
Seeking help from depression itself
If you meant it
Please come back
Because I love you too
We became friend
To close friend
You cared for me
I cared for you
You liked me
I let you down
You push me away
You left me
We stopped talking
I saw you
You saw me
I have mix feelings
We met again
I still want you back
I’m confused all along, you didn’t give me a chance to talk it out
You step in and out of my life whenever you wants.
Now I want you back will you come back?
If you’ve given me a little more time, I’ll be lying on ur shoulder now.
Can’t believe it but I’m moving on, forcing myself to move on.
So it won’t pain me to see you.
Hoping the next time I see you, I will be going home smiling and not turning my music loud to block everyone around me.
I’m not a alcoholic
I don’t like the taste of alcohol
But I’ll start drinking, just to get you off my mind.
I know you won’t replay my story and see how am I doing without you
I know you won’t be thinking about me every night at 3AM
I know you won’t be missing me every seconds
I know you won’t crave for attention from me
I know you won’t live the way I want it to be
I know you won’t notice me anymore
I know you don’t love me anymore
And i surely you don’t know everything i listed down is the opposite. For you.
Everything I do leads to you
Hoping you’ll replay my story
Hoping you’ll think about me
Hoping you’ll miss me
Hoping you’ll want attention from me
Hoping you will love the way I want
Hoping you’ll notice me
Hoping you will still love me.
Tried so hard to get your attention
And clearly you didn’t bother or even care
And it’s killing me.
Told myself I should just stop everything
I should not live by the expectation of yours so you would notice me
I should just carry on to my life
Focus on my family and friends instead of you.
I’m sorry to love you
I hope you will find someone you truly love
I really don’t have much time left
really want to spend all my time with you again.
It’s been a year
I’m missing you so badly each day passes
Yes we’ve chat, we catch up a few times.
But the bond isn’t the same as last time
Because you probably move on already
I love you so much, I’m sorry to say it now
Because when you want hear it so badly I couldn’t say it out. Time will tell. And time really tell, how can I love you when it’s been a year?
Don’t made me a fool
because of you I look a ******* fool
I put so much efforts just to get close to you again.
It’s you all along.
Time heal? Forgive? Forget?
Those are just comforting words, it never work.
It’s been a year and it ******* hurts
Wake up every morning and ask myself
‘When are you gonna come back?’
Every single day just waiting till dark.
Tried to move on but why does it look like what I do on a daily basis, leads back to you?
Will you come back please?
Wouldn’t mind traveling down for you when I know my wallet it’s gonna burn a hole.
Wouldn’t mind to do anything for you.
But all you do is leave me on ‘read’
You couldn’t see how much efforts I put in
just to travel down somewhere near you but knowing I won’t able to see you but that is the only way to feel close again.. ‘close’
It’s always you
Bring me back to the good old days
Crying for comfort
I will be here,
Call me if you need me
No matter what time, what am i doing
If it's you, I'll stop everything i'm doing for you.
Even if i can look at you just for a few seconds i would travel down just for that
You're my cure to my overthinkimg
Even though i know its already over.
I miss you
Please come back
That day at the carnival
I was dead tired, exhausted. dying to get out of the queue and go home
Saw you coming in, kept me going
Didn't expect we'll have so much fun
Memories keep flashing
We kept talking
Really miss you alot
I've been waiting for this day for a very long time.
Really want to create more memories with you again
The vibes is back, you said.
It's been a year, saw you a little back while ago.
Lighting up my cigarettes,
Saw you. I turned around
Hoping you will notice me
You did and my heart felt like it was everything but knowing its already over.
You shouted my name from far and waved.
I waved back and said hello
We both were smiling happily and waving to each other.
But i wonder, behind ur smile do you still miss me like how i did?
Do you still miss us?
Do you still love me?
Still wondering till now
If you do, please come back
My doors are always open like how your doors was open in the past.
Behund ur smile
Really want to see you right now my dear, how are you? Hope ur doing great today, because last year today we were arguing very badly
I hope you're doing great now
I watch you from far,
From a distance.
If you're curious, i still go to those places that still remains all our memories.
Im not doing very good, I'm still struggling very badly and still getting those flash back of you
Patting my head
Cooking for me
Sending me home
Holding my hands tightly
Making sure i've eaten my meals
Making sure i'm safe
Hugging me tightly while sleeping.
I tried to forget you, trying to replace you, trying to move on with someone else
Nothing works, everything i do leads back to you. Its still you, its always you
I miss you so much.
Do you still remember how you would take silly pictures of me just trying to get my attention so I'll do back the same too? I miss that feeling
Do you still remember you asking me if im hungry? So caring.
Do you still remember we would always eat ice cream after our meals? You love those chocolate cone.
Do you still remember bringing me for a ride to the place i requested? That's where we talk about our life.
Do you still remember you would bring me to your friend's event even though im not invited? Sorry for making you left out.
Do you remember helping me to clean my small wound and place a plaster for me?
Do you still remember you came down to my place? We ate dinner together that day.
Do you still remember making breakfast for me? It felt like im happiest ******* earth.
Do you still remember i dozed off at ur bed and woke up in the middle of a night finding for you and straight texted you asking you where were you? You were eating at the kitchen, i was worried.
Do you still remember you would make sure i have enough money to go home and make sure im home safely?
Do you still remember how many times i made you sad?
Do you still remember what's the promises you made before we cut contact?
Do you still remember you hugged me that one night and i hugged it back tightly didn't want to let go? I didn't want you to see me crying it hurts because i know no matter how much i try its never ur expectations.
Do you remember those promises?
I always broke ur promises
But i kept one of our promises till today. I promised you I will never leave, i promised me, i promised us
Till today im still waiting, been a year dear.
What happened to the promises that you say you're gonna prove to me?
Bring me back to the moment even if its for awhile.
I miss you till today
Why is my efforts so transparent to everyone?
Yes, it doesn't seem noticeable
Yes, it doesn't seem enough
But its the small thing that matters.
Should i be happy or sad?
Woke up blurred, picking up a unknown call, thought the call was just some mutual friends of mine
You asked where am i?
I answered im at home
This voice is so familiar
Alot memories came through while you were asking me to guess who are you.
Just one try, i got it right.
Its really you, did god hear my prayer?
The call was less than 10 minutes
But i was ******* happy
The call ended smoothly without holding grudges like the last time we end things.
I just feel so completed as if i had finish a important task.
Let me sleep in peace now, forever.
I felt more relaxed now.
It's been a few months since i posted
Here again, still at the edge,
Seeking for help. No one will notice,
Before this you're the only one who will notice me but never again.
I miss those days, if everything was still the same right now, now i would be lying down on your shoulder
Replaying my favorite song
Helping you to light up ur cigarettes.
Too bad it's all gone,
My efforts wasn't enough when i thought i've already tried my best but
maybe to you those small efforts its nothing at all.
Really thankful for everything you did for me
Even the smallest thing
Risking ur freedom for me
Or even ur happiness.
You seems to be happier,
happier than before
hope she's treating you better than me
hope that she can do those small little thing for you that i didn't manage to do
hope that she comfort you the way you wanted when you're down.
Everyday it gets darker and darker for me.
My loss, never yours.
Holding her like how you used to hold me, gently grabbing her face like what you did to me.
Saw you bandage her finger, the painful flash back to the first time you put on a little plaster on my ankle.
I still starred all the messages you promised me but does it mean nothing now?
I stayed but i kept quiet because you seems to be dislike me
my tired eyes
are shaking for you every 3am.
Im still waiting even though you asked me not to.
I gave you my best,
I've never travel down for someone when they're down.
I've never comfort someone the way i comfort you.
I've never worried others like how i worried about you.
I've never go this far for someone but for you.
I've never cried for someone so badly just because knowing i did my best but it's not enough.
But you left me because its not enough.
Why do they keep promising the things that they don't mean it?
Everyone forgotten me when there's fun but came back running to me for comfort
yet the closer ones promised to be there for me when im down.
Look what've i left? Nothing.
Cherish every moments.
— The End —