Why is my efforts so transparent to everyone?
Yes, it doesn't seem noticeable
Yes, it doesn't seem enough
But its the small thing that matters.
Should i be happy or sad?
Woke up blurred, picking up a unknown call, thought the call was just some mutual friends of mine
You asked where am i?
I answered im at home
This voice is so familiar
Alot memories came through while you were asking me to guess who are you.
Just one try, i got it right.
Its really you, did god hear my prayer?
The call was less than 10 minutes
But i was ******* happy
The call ended smoothly without holding grudges like the last time we end things.
I just feel so completed as if i had finish a important task.
Let me sleep in peace now, forever.
I felt more relaxed now.
It's been a few months since i posted
Here again, still at the edge,
Seeking for help. No one will notice,
Before this you're the only one who will notice me but never again.
I miss those days, if everything was still the same right now, now i would be lying down on your shoulder
Replaying my favorite song
Helping you to light up ur cigarettes.
Too bad it's all gone,
My efforts wasn't enough when i thought i've already tried my best but
maybe to you those small efforts its nothing at all.
Really thankful for everything you did for me
Even the smallest thing
Risking ur freedom for me
Or even ur happiness.
You seems to be happier,
happier than before
hope she's treating you better than me
hope that she can do those small little thing for you that i didn't manage to do
hope that she comfort you the way you wanted when you're down.
Everyday it gets darker and darker for me.
My loss, never yours.
Holding her like how you used to hold me, gently grabbing her face like what you did to me.
Saw you bandage her finger, the painful flash back to the first time you put on a little plaster on my ankle.
I still starred all the messages you promised me but does it mean nothing now?
I stayed but i kept quiet because you seems to be dislike me
my tired eyes
are shaking for you every 3am.
Im still waiting even though you asked me not to.
I gave you my best,
I've never travel down for someone when they're down.
I've never comfort someone the way i comfort you.
I've never worried others like how i worried about you.
I've never go this far for someone but for you.
I've never cried for someone so badly just because knowing i did my best but it's not enough.
But you left me because its not enough.
Why do they keep promising the things that they don't mean it?
Everyone forgotten me when there's fun but came back running to me for comfort
yet the closer ones promised to be there for me when im down.
Look what've i left? Nothing.
Cherish every moments.
— The End —