I had to do it,

but the choice I made felt like --


someone else's coat.

Father's green leather

briefcase is in the kitchen--


filled with many dreams.

The cupboard, crammed full

of my memories won't close --


Out! Out! Out! they push.

Around your presence,

everything becomes gloomy --


So stay in my eyes!

Come all through the gate

of our wedding: Be welcome --


to our paradise!

When terror is far

away, you can just remain --


on your pet subject.

There's the nagging pain

of violence, and worse, of --


chatting about it.

I slept like a bean

in the pod of my car, in --


my cradle, my egg.

My suffering ends

here, as I pass through the door --


into not-knowing.

There's a thunderstorm,

lightning above me, rumbling --


deep beneath my feet.

It is May, and yet

winter is in the air now --


that Mama is dead.

Well, I used to cry,

but I stopped, because no one --


cared, no one at all.

My poet friends sleep,

it's quiet, I look at them --


eat a banana.

Inconceivable

God is, creating the world --


without any act.

Everything that we

humans can touch is sacred --


Sacred Emptiness.

Only if you know

yearning, can you understand --


my suffering, me.

My wish is that they...

want the same thing as I do:


the best. United.

In the neon light,

shadows appear and vanish --


Strolling nightlife girls.

Downstream, three buckets

of mayonnaise are sailing --


along with our boat.

The house has new sounds,

a harmony: languages --


dance, and skin colours.

On the peak I dream

of La Vie Parisienne --


in Tijuana.

The lightning dances

yellowly on the ridges --


It's an event here.

Bright flashes of light,

the rigging and the heather --


screaming the loudest.

Sometimes the sunlight

glints in the drop that I am --


in the sea of life.

I was a stranger

when I arrived, I still am --


now that I must go.

You don't care about

me, so I hope you have fun --


I am doing well.

Sometimes she answers,

she is very indignant --


and doesn't talk to him.

We went wild, so happy
with each other, so happy
to have found each other
to have found love
true love, for you and me

...My love for you is still there
...you can see it shining
...wherever you are, let the sun
...of your activities go down
...and blow away the clouds of your worries
...then you'll see it, see me
...with you again

I lived with my friends
until I met you
and you turned out
to give me more than they do
and I want to give that to you too

...My love for you is still there
...you can see it shining
...wherever you are, let the sun
...of your activities go down
...and blow away the clouds of your worries
...then you'll see it, see me
...with you again

Boys thinking to be

a good lover, sink their claws --


into the girl's soul.

The cold lies thick
over the world like dust
as if no one has been
there for a long time

and I have been
forgotten or overlooked
left behind as if I couldn't
be taken with them

No one with whom I can
share what I feel, the cold
since you've been gone, the cold
since I've been home alone

No one
to tell that
I have lost you
my dear darling

All alone
No one
who sees, who knows
that I miss you

Once you falter, you

keep doing so, in circles --


that will get smaller.

Are you an angel, am I a dog?
Are you from heaven and I from hell?
Or are you a dog, my dog?
And will we go to hell together?

Where are you taking me?
Where am I taking you?
Why do you want to love me?
What can I ever give you?

The more you love me
the more I have to
betray your love, tear it apart
like a dog at the gate

The more you believe in me, the more
I'll bite back until your love is dead
at the gates of heaven
or the gates of hell

The future eats me,


which I don't mind, as long as --



I feel the chewing.

At home, no clothes on
brushing my hair
putting on makeup
laughing in the mirror

Toasting myself:
I love me
after you

At home, no clothes on
the curtains open
free, free in sight
of the dark

In the night I am free
in the night I love me
after you

Let the streets see me
let the night see me
I'm not going to hide
after you

Everyone may see me
I love me
after you

I crawled, I stood up,


grandpa only nodded: yes --



that's how one grows up.

My tent has a hole
at the top, that's the moon
which always shines
Before me, after me

Moon, you have room, right?
Tell me, do you have a place
for my heart?
Then, I'll come

to you
when I die, I will
to let my love shine
together with you

..One day I'll have to leave
..everything behind
..and none of it is mine
..except my love
..which is mine, all mine

for my loved one here on earth
That's why I hope
I can shine on him
with you later

..Nothing is mine
..except my love
..which is mine
..all mine
..all mine

I like the attic,

sitting in the armchair, in --


front of the window.

From year to year there are
memories snowing, covering
and blocking the driveway

I shovel them aside
I must get out, I must
do some shopping

And when they start to melt
when they drip down
the drainpipe and run away

I lie awake in bed
listening and following
the rippling in the gutter

It makes me desperate
I want to leave, a break
to write it all down

to tell it
in the dark and be
answered, applauded

From the violence

of two jostling elephants --


the grass is injured.

My ear is colour positive
the red rim boils
from your words, a bright
light bursts from the auricle
and hangs in front of my mouth

in front of my held breath
my lips not quite open
my thoughts unspoken

my look colour negative
with well blooded brains
crossed arms, glowing
with suspicion and defiance
with the desire to attack

You won't get away with it
you won't get away with it
you won't get away with it

From the storm, the flood,

washed ashore in the silence --


of the newborn day.

In the evening I like to walk
through the streets, looking
at the people in their houses
and then I wonder who
I would like to swap with

and what kind of swap that would be
What do I give and what do I get?
A soul for a soul, maybe
not to keep forever
but, who would want mine

with all its consequences?
Of course I don't get an answer
A bird on a street-lamp
is looking at me, it's night
so it doesn't sing

whether it's free or captive
it doesn't sing, because it's night
But we're not alone now
and I'd like to swap with it
Yes, I did

Helping people with

a hundred arms breaks you up --


if you're not a god.

I want other thoughts
I don't like to be alone
with those opinions
about what I do

So I turn up the music
and I work hard, with a cake
on holidays, a whole cake
all for me

And then I feel sick
and I have to throw up
Another memory
that I won't lose

It's quietly waiting for doubts
and then it stands in line
with all my thoughts
about what I have done

Not a party, not a cake
not a whole cake for me
just my work, so
don't take that away from me

In bed I listen

to the piano playing --


somewhere down the road.

Mosquitoes may drink my blood
I stay here to enjoy myself
the blood of the moon

the fireflies in the garden
and the whooping children
around a campfire somewhere

...Behind, a freight train rumbles past
...Once the hooves of bison pounded there

My dreams are blind and nameless
They **** on the spot
and eat when I'm away

Maybe it would be easier
without them, but when I see them
asleep, everything is fine

...Behind, a freight train rumbles past
...Once the hooves of bison pounded there

I must go with it,

and so do you, the stream pulls --


everyone along.

There's a little black angel
stuck in the liquor residue
at the bottom of my glass

I like to drink, a glass
is nice company, just
like family, Family

That little black angel is me
It's my good self, my love
stuck at the bottom

of your promises
that you couldn't keep
That rookie mistake

Promises you break
will break you
I know all about it

with the self-invented consolation
that a fallen angel
is still an angel

A person who boasts

of a quality, wishes --


to receive it, right?

Our love fills the room
The basso continuo of your voice
conforms and mixes
with the song of the string
that you strike within me
resounding into heaven
- heaven, heaven

I bend my branches
with you, I ripple thoughts
of you all over you
I drink the rest from your cup
pressing my lips where yours
still kiss me, in heaven
- heaven, heaven

Outside the storm dances
something free, it runs away
around the corner, into the night
which we make wait
while we stay here
in the light of heaven
- heaven, heaven