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I hate realizing I forgot to take my
meds. I don’t mind taking them. I need
them to pretend I can function. And
forgetting until the next morning can
be brutal, but I get right up and start
again. But when I realize they didn’t
slide down my throat and enter my
bloodstream in the middle of the day,
or halfway through the time of night
when magic unfolds and destruction
happens, I’m reminded of something.

I’m reminded that these small, white
discs with an indent down the middle
are the only thing keeping me from
climbing the tallest building and
taking a deep breath. I’m reminded
that I’m not in control. I’m reminded
that I wouldn’t want it if I had it.


-
by Aleksander Mielnikow
JS CARIE Oct 2018
To openly relinquish vulnerabilities, having found love will likely be present in advance

Being in love, will challenge defenses making present vulnerabilities

Fating the present after liberating vulnerabilities, ensures a relief to drop defenses, and a willingly surrender to love
Before During After Vulnerable powerlessness love present
Glenn Currier Aug 2018
In the crazy busyness of the day
where electric sounds suffuse,
even a little chat is often a freeway
of words and noise.

And in the midst, he tells me
“Just be yourself.”
There I am
in the small space of silence
being undone
with nothing to say
while I wonder
what self.

A friend tells me they’re getting a divorce.
The doctor says the tests are positive.
I watch: the surge of floods taking homes and lives
or images of smoke and debris right after a bombing.
After a real serious play or movie.
In the waiting room after I hear she is going to die.

In those lonely tiny spaces
of darkness
I cannot speak.

In those aftermath moments
I am silenced.

How do I react
to being out of control
or make these things normal
or fit them into my routine ways of being me?

Silence asserts itself
like a wild animal
I cannot tame.

At these intervals
of being powerless
I hope I do not miss the chance
to humbly bow
in silence
and embrace my humanity
and smallness
in the cosmos
where it is utterly trivial
to just be my self.
In humble gratitude to Rowan Williams looking forward to his upcoming book: Being Human: Bodies, Minds, Persons.
Zero Nine Nov 2017
look at me center stage
send your brain to sleep
if you can't, or won't
this is going to look a lot like satire
but picture me here
with yourself in the audience
you've seen my name on the internet
you've probably seen it on facebook
maybe you've heard of my movies
let's see if you can name five
isn't it funny that i'm being conceited
isn't it funny that i'm not like other women?
let's see if you can name five
maybe you've heard of feminism
if you hate it, i hate you, if you love it,
i reinvented it in a co-opted form
so please, don't forget to thank me
but seriously, though, just kidding
there's some real acting, here
i'm acting like i give one slimy **** about you
and your plebeian existence
i'm acting like i give a single, genuine *******
thought or care
to your meaningless, peasant
life, but i've never thought of you once, at all, .
you think it matters once your
stank cash and card swipe become my available
balance? i drive a tesla, ffs
i've heard the word philanthropy, it's meaning
is a mystery, or is it? ****
you, thanks for the view, but this is my business
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