My world was your love, the sun was your smile,
Now darkness has come and blackened my sky

In life I will find joy no more, green turned to gray forevermore
Death I’ll go looking for… to comfort my everlasting woe

Like spots on my face,
People are
Beautiful

My head – spins,
Blood vessels – pump,
Bones – squeak,
Diagnosis – alive

You knock on the door, you cry and you fight,
You take a sip form a cup of somebody’s lies
You rage like a kid, you laugh and abuse,
Try to make all those fools see the stupidity of their own rules

Others don’t get, they don’t hear nor dream
To find deeper meaning in things that they see
To explore this life on their own cul (***)
Feel the pain, agony, thirst and again be refueled

With pleasure – drop of rain, winds’ kiss on your cheek,
Rivers’ flow, roses’ smell, suns’ bright shine on your skin

Describe the emotion, state of mind, things with words
No, old language won’t fit here… must invent new, my own
With more of a meaning, and passion in it
More precise, more refined, and no “censorshit”

God I shall doubt, folk I’ll despise,
Contemporaries shall call me “spoilt little child!”
I won’t pay attention to those hypocrites,
My work now is done, pay attention to the…

My gift to this greedy, rotten, sickening world,
It’s this book of poetry, which shall speak in my stead when I’m gone
For I talk through the ages, through decades of time,
Now genius I am, and this is a testament of mine

Born in the dances of the night
Grew in the playful noises of light
Died and flew into the phantom blue of sky

My brothers, sisters, mothers, farthers,
Scientists and artists, poets and all others,
To dreamers who can not walk on Earthly ground
Don’t ever let being brought down by the crowd
And don’t you ever let them tear your wings down
They won’t grow back, they are your soul, your wind, your wow,
To those who feel they don’t belong in this kingdom of demise
Rise, Rise, Rise! Spread your wings, and fly into blue skies!

Where am I? What is this? How did I get here?
Who are these strange unfamiliar creatures around me?
Like arduous bees they are swarming to work for the best of their kind
Or so I’ve first thought, when I saw their world
Not looking for reasons, for judgments, for cause… to me they are like a virus
A despicable spawn – relentless, unstoppable, greedy, they’ll destroy everything
Even if they don’t profit at all, they’ll die for their ego – such is their law
And in this whirlpool of blood, lust and wars – one question is born
WHAT F*ING FOR???
What was the science for? What for was the art? What for was the flight of thoughts of our kind?
Why are we here? What goals to pursue?!
All meaningless was it, just for the time **** sake? Or are we just animals that jumped way too high above our heads?
Was it just that, or was it something more? I guess we won’t know, I guess we are here to find it out on our own

Remember your birth, remember your name
And never you dare to forget all that pain

Please take this blindfolding light away from me
It burns, hurts, melts my eyes, it makes them bleed
Breathing is hard, air crushes my lungs, I’m coughing with spit
I beg of you, stop, you’ve done enough no enslave me
Just tell me, what is the reason of all us, people, existing here
Brought to this world all together, together we’re born and together we die…
Prison – one word to describe this gloomy nefarious cell
A place where no light reaches and no sun shines
And If you’ve ever come to this forsaken land, my friend, listen to my advise
No matter how much you want to escape, this nightmare will forever chase (you),
And even if you’re brave enough to choose suicide, the “man in the tunnel” will always bring you back to “life”,
They’ll never let us run away from this cage, from this doom, from this Hell,
This is the place where our eternity shall be spend and where our hopes will die… again and again

I slit my wrists and I crush my bones, I poke my eyes and I cut my throat
No virtues exist in this realm of despair, where God has been drowned in the pool of a software
I choose my fate and I choose my end, so I choose to meet it standing straight with a sword in my hand

The world flickers me, I flicker back,
A butterfly, I feel so tempted by this energy and light
But it’s like a dejavu, feels like it’s not a first time,
The pictures of my past lives blink in my eyes,
My mirror of soul, my deceiving sensors of truth and lies,
And again I find myself surrounded by convicts, by prisoners... they are my mates
We all share same world, same home, same cell,
Still we can not even try to understand ourselves,
Doomed to exist in this chaos divided we fall, united… we’ve never stood a chance
Our nature has already taken care of us – no matter how much we try to help, to support or understand
We all are chained in our brain cells, we are condemned and we are slayed
We even can not help ourselves, we all are left to die in pain, in misery and loneliness
Help will not come, just not today, and not tomorrow… and centuries will pass, and we will still be on our own,
In pain, in misery, in loneliness… we all are here to die once more, one billion times more, before our torture ends… again…
And then… world flickers me… will I flicker back?

After this fraud, this lie, this pain
I will stand up again and again
I will come back and in my veins
I will digest all of that hate
And with my bare hands I will
Tear all the matter, time and space
Destroy this universe in flames
And on the ashes I will build
A new beginning, my new will
No God’s forsaken land will be,
No creature will be in misery,
No pain, no fear, no more lies,
And no more soul will be baptized,
For I’m legion, I am many,
I am that God that you’re praying!!!

I will remake all my mistakes,
And for forgiveness I must pray,
For all of this is my own fault,
I’m sorry, I was wrong

But do not worry living beings,
This universe and all you see,
I have created from my own,
An endless, everlasting source
The source that runs through you and me,
You humans call it – energy!

I will come back and I do swear,
I will not rest until I’m better,
I will be greater this I pledge
And just as promised… I’ll create the perfect world for every single each (of you)

You rip what you sour, the society says
While ripping off of you whatever you have,
They tell to never stop believing in good
While making all bad things look like as it should.

Deceiving, robbing and killing everything in you –
They say, “it’s a law, obey or we’ll make you”.

No freedom is left in this world of power abuse,
Where rotten people rule, and prodigies are being refused

I scamp around trying to find myself,
All others say – you’re ******* lazy man,
I try to do something others don’t,
People say – oh, look at this child’s moan,
I want to be nothing like everyone else around,
They scream – so, you think you’re better than the rest of us and you want to fly off this ground?

I say – I want to, I try to, I dream no matter what
But in the end I realize, I’m just like everyone else in this stupid world
I’m rotten, sinful and full of ****,
And only with time I realize that I’ve been swallowed by others… and puked back into this dirt

Am I dead, or am I alive,
Do I exist, or am I a dream,
Inside someone’s head for just a while

Where do I go, where do I flee,
I do not know, I do not feel

No answers given, only questions,
And through the unbearable longing this pain tortures

Is there something you believe in?
Is there anything you think is verity?
How does this world treat your dreams,
When you face the ash and terror of reality

Lustful, greedy, hatred souls,
Millions of them, trying to reach their own goals,
They’ll put all others into dirt
And sell their own mothers for a piece of sparkling ****

Would you’ve really wanted to be born again,
Into this world of horror and demonic pain,
Seems that God has long ago forsaken this cell
And Satan rules in his newly born Hell

Would you really want to live in this agony and misery,
When you learn that nothing is an axiom, a verity,
No morality’s left and none follows
In the future light of the suicidal merrows

Itches, scratches, moves under the skin,
Something deep inside me wants to be set free,
Nowhere to run from this insane obsession,
When gruesome demons are breaking from the hell within.

I want to cry, I want to scream, I want to die,
I still resist against this impulsive ****** drive,
With time, he obtains control, and all I can be thinking of is
I want to bring suffering, I want to bring fear, I want to bring the darkest abyss

The pain awakes deep in my belly
Making me want to scream at top of my lungs,
Reap and tear the flesh off my bones,
Dragging all insides on the outside

Now that I’m lying dead and broken,
Blood, **** and liquids of my body
Fill my throat, go into my nose and into my eyes,
Making me choke on them in pre-death convulsions

And so I’m dead, I depart my sinful body,
Watching angels coming for me from above,
Reaching with their shining hands for my soul
Only demons are faster, their hands are burning fire,
And before I realize it, I’ve already been dragged into hell, chained and cursed for eternity

Oh, fallen angel, why do you weep, why do you cry?
Have you lost your way, have you lost your eyes
Defined by others, you can never get back into skies
Now, being torn down you must forget how to fly
And learn how to walk among these rats in the hellish fires

And if they see you trying to take off the ground,
They’ll tear your wings off and gnaw you to death in an instant count

Close your eyes,
Tell me, what can you see?

Blue unclouded skies,
With thousands of stars shining upon me
I see landscapes with snow and sand,
Deepest sees and highest mountains,
I see beauty of nature in every wave that rolls on the land
In every wind blow that refreshes my face,
I see animals, fishes and birds,
All different but also all with the same chords

Now open your eyes, and describe what do you see?
I see ash and terror of creatures that came before me,
Now the results of their greed and gluttony you can see
For today, this world is merely a shadow of what it once used to be

Heavy drops of rain fall on my face
Refreshing my body and my inner self
And though I thought I could hardly feel this world,
The rain has made me feel alive again

Shades pass me as I stand on the street,
Dark blurry unfamiliar faces,
They melt into a grand pile of dark matter,
The one I’m trying not to be a part of

And in the end, I stand alone,
On the outside only?... or on the inside as well?

O angel’s bliss, fall down from the skies
Slowly swaying down, with a falling leaf like manner of demise,
You will sanctify all that’s left of me to rise,
Grow my wings back to fly and leave behind all my dice

Oh cruel me, how could you have forgotten,
What have you used to be once you were still not rotten,
When colors were full, the sun has shown out of the blue,
When everywhere were dragons,… all of them against you

Oh cheaty me, how could you have forsaken,
What have you used to be once you were not meant to be breaking,
When wind has whispered ancient spells into your ears,
When all mud covered, you were still the greatest of the heroes

Here in the darkness I lie alone
Letting her raven wings cover my ******,
Her gloomy and dreadful mystery runs through my veins,
As I slowly become one with her.

Time goes by, I’ve already fallen into the abyss,
Immersed with its darkness, my soul has been obliterated by it
Blind, deaf and emotionless, I’m fine with it
Since it’s warm and peaceful inside it, like in mothers’ belly.

But what is this?.. a light?
Haven’t seen it in years, decades of time
It burns my eyes, it kills me,
And though some say light is a savior,
For me it was just a destroyer.