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1.1k · Feb 2019
It's me not you
It’s not that you do not want my love
It’s that you do not want me.
1.1k · Sep 2014
I always wonder
I cannot help but wonder
How often I saw you
And if I had stopped and said "hi"
Would it have changed anything at all
I always wonder
How close we were
How often we almost met
How many times we may have passed each other on the streets
And I had no idea you would become my sunlight
I always wonder if I ever bumped into you
And brushed it off as if destiny was not intruding in our lives
I cannot help but wonder
How often I dreamt about you
When you were sleeping a few feet away
I always wonder
If we ever shared my dream but woke up disorientated
And forgot about us until the next time
I often wonder if we'd met any other way
Would I be with you now?
Or would she be the first one on your mind?
1.1k · May 2015
The 5th Plate
Breathe.
It's only for a time.
Breathe.
Do not let the tears spill out.
Breathe.
But they laugh and laugh and *laugh
and I cannot handle their hands on each other and their smiles turned away from me and the complicity they share I am so
alone
In a sea of people
I put 5 plates
On a table and I am the odd one
Out.
I stare straight at the wall.
But they laugh and laugh and laugh and do not realize we are in a different universe.


**I am the 5th plate.
What do you do when something that was supposed to go right goes left?
How do you fix it?
How do you fix the mistake?
Perhaps it wasn't even yours.
But you still need to fix it somehow.
You need to make it right again.
You need to find solutions.
How do you fix it?

*How do I fix it?
How did it even get broken?
1.0k · Jul 2017
The Demon with a Sword
Often I feel like people do not realize I am smarter than they think. Perhaps not in the way I handle math problems or in the way I act out.
But in the way I observe and listen when they believe I am not.
The way I take notice of things and keep that in mind for the next time, and the way I see what makes them tick, what makes them uncomfortable and where to hit to hurt.
I tend to know and knowledge is power, but it is also restrain.
I have bit my tongue many times to avoid saying something at the right time to hurt just where the skin is soft and the bone is fragile.
I am a demon with a sword but all they see is a dumb young girl. Sometimes I wish I could show them my ****** teeth as I rip them to shreds right where the wound is red and raw and too often scratched by words. I could rip it open all over again, and you would not see me coming.
You would never expect me.
It is my blessing and my curse;
I wish to hurt to relieve my own pain but I have been wounded so many times I cannot inflict a blow to somebody else
Though I long to bare my claws and rip out the goody-two-shoes so you may see the monster beneath.
1.0k · Sep 2014
Papy
Mon Papy.
Mon Papy n'a jamais eu de poème,
Afin de lui faire comprendre à quel point je l'aime.
J'ai donc le devoir de rectifier cette erreur,
Qui, depuis quelques temps, ronge mon coeur.
Depuis que je suis petite, tu m'as fait découvrir la belle vie,
Apprendre à faire du vélo sur deux roues en fait partie.
Tu m'as montré comment jouer aux boules,
Et comment orienter mon cerf-volant pour qu'il s'envole plus haut.
Tu m'as fais goûter le meilleur miel du monde,
Celui que tu allais chercher dans ta combinaison de super-héro.
Moi je pensais que tu étais James Bond,
Tu me disais, "ca roule, ma poule",
Comme si tu n'avais peur de rien,
Même pas des oies qui nous courraient après dans le jardin.
Avec toi je joue au scrabble et aux petits chevaux,
Tu gagnes toujours haut la main, et on ne peut s'empêcher de crier "Bravo!"
Je me souviens de nos soirées Fort Boyard et Koh-Lanta,
Rien de mieux qu'un bon feu, une famille réunie, et du chocolat.
T'avoir dans ma vie est un cadeau de chaque seconde,
Parfois j'aimerai le crier sur le toit du monde,
Pour qu'ils sachent tous la chance que j'ai,
D'avoir un papy comme toi, que je suis si fière d'aimer.
Même **** de toi je te sens près de moi,
Tu réchauffes mon cœur avec des sourires.
Tu sais bien qu'avec toi je ne peux que rire.
Tu m'aides à donner le meilleur de moi-même,
Tu sais bien que ta fierté fait la mienne.
Dans ma tête tes chansons résonnent avec clarté,
De la souris verte à la claire fontaine,
Ta voix berce mes souvenirs chaque jour,
Et mon angoisse disparaît dès que j'en entends les contours.
Mon sourire apparaît dès que je pense à toi,
Et mon cœur se remplit automatiquement de joie.
986 · Sep 2014
Silent scream
When I opened my mouth to speak
I was faced with silence
And it was the loudest cry
I have ever heard.
978 · Sep 2014
Reverse power
He was never scared, back then
He was a fighter ready to jump into the battle
And nothing could break him
He was invincible
Unstoppable
He was never scared, back then
But that's only because
He didn't have anything to fight for

The day she appeared in his life
He knew she was the love of his life
He would have gone anywhere with her
He would have done anything for her
And as he gets back up again
Beaten and bloodied
She beats him down again
Barely breathing
And
Anything can break him
She is invincible
Unstoppable

She's crushing his heart in her hands
She doesn't have anything to live for
Anymore
960 · Jul 2017
Spoken word is
Spoken word is the only thing that drives me to the breaking point because all the words, all the feelings that are trapped inside my soul are somehow released into the air and linger around for people to breathe in
suddenly,
it is not as hard as I usually feel like it is to be
connected to people
we are all moved by the same poets who dare to come up on stage and bare their feelings
it drives me mad
That only in that specific place can I become who I wish to be
It is hard
to blend in
with the people whose soul are not rooted in their bodies as deeply as others
and to think they never wonder about things like
why whales have no ears but can listen to their partner across thousands of miles
and how
bumblebees are impossible and yet wander the Earth like nothing is wrong.
I wonder if it’s easier to stay rooted to the earth with little thoughts that never make you want to touch the sky rather than be weighed down by feelings and too heavy to fly no matter how hard you try to leave.
958 · Sep 2014
Mamie
Ma Mamie.
Mamie a toujours été là pour nous,
Que ce soit pour faire des confitures ou bien des bisous.
Julia et moi sautons de joie à chaque fois qu'on la voit,
On ne compte jamais les heures pour arriver chez toi.
Tu m'as appris à tricoter et me grondait quand j'étais dissipée,
Mais chaque matin, sans faute, tu me faisais des pâtes au lait.
Grâce à toi nous avons toujours des bons petits plats,
Qu'il pleuve, qu'il vente, qu'il neige ou qu'il fasse froid.
Tu râles parfois parce que je suis difficile,
Et que je refuse d'avaler un champignon,
Cela dit je ne me fais pas de bile,
Je sais bien que tes repas seront toujours bons.
Je ne me considère pas une petite fille parfaite,
Puisque je suis souvent au bout du monde,
Mais j'espère que tu ne me feras jamais la tête,
Car rien pour moi ne compte plus au monde,
Que de te savoir heureuse, joyeuse et en bonne santé.
Bien qu'aujourd'hui, je parte pour l'Université,
Je veux que tu saches que je ne t'ai pas oubliée.
Tu es toujours bien au chaud dans mon cœur,
Une place spéciale qui fait tout mon bonheur.
Tu accompagnes tous mes voyages,
En pensée et souvent même en image.
Je me revois toute petite m'endormir dans tes bras,
Alors je ne suis plus seule, je sais que tu es là.
Je t'écris ce petit poème,
Pour que jamais tu n'oublies à quel point je t'aime.
"**** des yeux, **** du cœur" ne s'applique pas,
Nous sommes une famille unie et ça, ca ne s'invente pas.
Cette place dans mon cœur n'appartient à personne d'autre que toi,
N'aie pas peur de la perdre, elle sera toujours là.
941 · Oct 2014
Down the cliff
I have never lied to you
When I said I was ready to go all in
I took the jump
You never followed
I have discovered
At the bottom of the cliff
A brand new life
And the people there
They don't hurt me
They hold my hand
And look into my eyes
They lit a fire in my veins
In my eyes
They let them shine
My eyes are bright
And my hands are always warm
My being is connected
To the people who care

I have never been so glad
To take a fall
939 · Apr 2015
Granted
People take moments for granted but

When you made a grab for my hand

I could see everything in slow motion
935 · Sep 2014
Pluie
J'ai de la pluie dans les yeux
Et de l'eau sur le Coeur
Je n'ai pas vu la sécheresse depuis que tu es entré dans ma vie
Ni le soleil caché derrière des nuages de problèmes
Des torrents de colère cascades de nos paroles
Et nos conversations ne sont que des explosions de lave
Elles coulent du volcan de notre exaspération
Et brûlent tout sur leur passage
Le doux lac de notre amour s'assèche
Et la mer s'agite chaque instant un peu plus
Mais la terre n'a plus de contrôle
Et ne tremble plus sous l'effort de l'intimidation
La pluie se transforme en brume
Et doucement le voile de la peine se lève
Pour peindre un jour plus clément.

J'ai de la pluie dans les yeux
Et de l'eau sur le Coeur
Mais je vois à travers les larmes un jour nouveau
Une vie nouvelle
Un commencement
Le début d'un jour ensoleillé
Ou je plisserais les yeux
Enfin
Pour voir un sourire sur ton visage
Et te regarder le peindre sur le mien.
931 · Oct 2014
Untitled
My body was a temple and they ruined it
Pounded it down with each ******
Destroying my kingdom of freedom
Eviscerating my peace of mind
With their doomed swords.
915 · Sep 2015
Dreaded
It only takes a second to melt
To the sight of what once could have been.

Waking up is the worst part.
907 · Sep 2014
Pimple
Pimple
You have won the battle
But you will not win the war
I will remove you from my face
Where you think you own the place
901 · Sep 2014
Maman
Mon Papa c'est le roi, ma maman c'est la reine,
Elle arrive à nous faire rire,
Même quand on a de la peine.
Tu nous prépares des jus d'oranges du guerrier,
Et des petits plats biens mitonnés.
Même si parfois on critique ta cuisine,
Tu sais bien, qu'en fait, on te taquine.
Tu nous fais des bisous tous les soirs,
Tu n'oublies jamais, même s'il est ****.
Avec toi on peut toujours se confier,
Bien que souvent, on a peur de t'inquiéter.
Tu nous soutiens dans les moments difficiles,
Tu sais toujours comment rendre notre vie plus facile.
On adore te faire plaisir,
Et encore plus te faire rire!
Je ne sais pas ce qu'on ferait sans toi,
Heureusement que ce n'est pas le cas!
Même pas peur des monstres sous mon lit
Ils sont chassés dès que tu viens la nuit;
Tu nous fais un bisou protecteur,
Avec lui je peux affronter toutes mes peurs.
898 · Jul 2016
Paradis perdu
You are my paradise
You are my up, never my down
You were...

You are my paradise lost
My eden lost to ashes
Ever since
You've been gone
892 · May 2015
Acupuncture
He is not the cause of my pain
I am the artisan of my suffering
However
He is the love dealer who gave me
The needles I use to puncture my skin
If only you didn't let me bleed
Would you tear my flesh apart
Or would you
Fix me
With little bandages on my punctured soul?
885 · May 2016
Symptoms
Your presence in my life is an illness
A cough I can never quite get over

The symptoms of you
Are both the cure and the disease

My breath struggles when you arrive
My breath struggles when you leave

No matter how hard I try to live happily
Your presence in my life is an illness
That kills me everyday
A little more
Inside
860 · Sep 2014
Unhappy
Unable to let go of the past
Null and void of any emotions
Happy is a word you don't remember
A time that passes and leaves you empty and hollow
Pretty soon you will sigh again and
Possibly think about tomorrow
Yesterday never meant anything at all anyway

It doesn't mean we won't see the sun shine again

Solitude is my new name
Turning my back to the world
Accepting he darkness inside
Relieved to breathe in and out
Expecting my last breath any second

At last I breathe in again
Turning on my heels I face forward

True to myself I ignore the rest of the world
Honestly is what remains of my soul
Every time you talk to me

Wild flowers gather at my feet
I stare and stare and stare and…
Nothing is alive anymore
Do not look at me this way
On the count of three I will explode
Wild flowers gather on my tomb

A strange feeling grips at my guts
Nothing can save me from the terrible vision
Dine on my grave and laugh at my death

Hope is dead
Open your mouth and let out a scream
Possible escape, possible prison
Even your dreams are hand-me-down

Fewer and fewer they stand
On the bridge of life and death
Reality snaps their necks

And let them fall into the grey abyss

New life ahead of me once again
Endings call for new beginnings
When you dive for oblivion I will grab your arm

Day after day I will hold on
And drag you back up on the bridge
Yearn to hold you one last time
855 · May 2015
Let me be
I want to be made of a tougher material than flesh and bones.
I want to look into your eyes and know my body is strong enough not to crumble.
I want my skin to be made of scales and fire,
So when you try to stab me in the back I can turn around
And watch you cower in fear because I am invincible.
I want your touch to be cold against the heat of my skin.
I want to burn you alive.
And when all you are is powder and smoke,
Dust in my hand,
Let me blow away the last remnants of your soul.
I want to smile and let the daggers in my hand disintegrate.
Let me loose my skin and create a brand new me you will never touch.
Let me be a dragon.
854 · Jan 2015
Stranger in Wonderland
Loving you is like falling in a dream
Closing my eyes and

F
A
L
L
I
N
G

S…l…o…w…l…y
and then
Allatonce
Opening my eyes to
Bright colours
Unexpected scenes
All around me nothing makes sense

You call me Alice.
Tell me I'm one of a kind, live in a fantasy world.
My reality is just different than yours
You make me drink the poison of my tears
And smile lopsidedly when I ask you why you never answer me.
Cryptic and vague, all smiles, you turn and fly around me.
You let me believe you are magic.

Which road do I take?
The roads is ending like the last chapter of a book I never got to finish
Where do you want to go?
I taste copper on my tongue
I don't know.
Your smile is too big and mine is too small
Then it doesn't matter.
I take a step forward and turn left.
I cannot see your head turning on itself
But I can feel your eyes of my back
Like little fingers pushing me forward
Into a new adventure

Loving you is like falling in a dream
Wondering if you will ever let me wake up
Snap out of your spell
Rub my eyes raw and realize
I am not Alice.
849 · Sep 2014
(Breathe)
I have taken a breath today
And for the first time in days
It wasn't stained with the sound of your beating heart

I took a

     (        breath         )  
  
and it was mine alone

You weren't hiding between the pauses in the air
Or lurking around the edges of a word
You weren't tiptoeing behind my every thought
And I wasn't trying to find you out of the corner of my eyes

So I believe I might be




**Halfway out of the dark
It terrifies me that I am moving on
849 · Mar 2015
A head full of roses
Her smile is fallen snow
On the first day of winter,
A happy coincidence
You met her just at the right time, at the right
Place.
A happy coincidence.
She is home, a warm cup of tea in the middle of a blizzard.
She comforts you and her hugs are different, they
Lift
You
Up

But you look down and your feet are still touching the floor.
She is the one you call, when the snowflakes are begging
"Dress us up like a snowman,
My sisters and I want
To wear a smile, just for a little while."
You remind her to put on gloves; she wraps her scarf around you
Several times
Over,
So you will never be cold.
You forget to say that her presence is like home, a storm lantern in the middle of a blizzard.
You smile.
There is nothing else you can do.
She smells like home, and home is a bouquet of roses.

**Un parfum n'a jamais été aussi entêtant.
Inspired by a piece of art by Danny O'Connor. CPC #23
http://docart.bigcartel.com
845 · Nov 2014
War Dragon
I am rich from all the things I have lost
Vanishing into a mist of missed opportunities
The knowledge lies inside, quiet like a lake
When he leaves for battle my skin aches and breaks
We take on our true form when they're gone
Layers of flesh fall to the ground
Underneath this tiny heart a dragon rises from the ground
I open yellow eyes and wake
Tough skin and deadly claws
You smiled at me and disappeared
For many years I will guard alone
The tiny home we call our own
Shed my skin and try on a new soul
Thousands of years old and rusted to the bone
My soul springs awake, gets ready for battle
But nothing lasts forever, nothing is ever given
Words are written, said and stolen
They want it back
Eventually
They always want it back
Greediness is the wound of Man
The result is spilled blood
And fallen tears
Wars are fought over countries
Murders are committed by passion
Cold blooded, show no compassion
Red is the colour of our everyday lives
And in necessary cases we spread our wings wide
Our homes we protect, our treasures we hide
We bare our teeth and hiss a cry
To scare them away we aim and fire
Open our eyes and watch over our treasure
In the midst of war we still smile and murmur
Make promises of brighter days
We will hand our skin in the living room
And pretend we never left the room
We will smile and welcome them home
Under the rug the trap will squeak quitely
A hidden mistress underneath our home
Treasures lie quiet and concealed
*Late at night
I
Open
The
Safe
And
Peek
In it I can see all the treasures you didn't take away from me
845 · Sep 2014
A poem for you.
So many things we did not have time to do together.

Like take a nap.

(That may be all that comes to mind. But I'm not worried, we would have figured out something.)
1. go to the beach
2. eat a real Brody's breakfast
3. Sleep on my ****** bed.
4. Do you wanna build a snowman?
5. A Nerf gun battle with all our friends. We would have won.
6. Venice.
7. **** Venice, let's go to the Quay, it's far enough and gets flooded just like Venice.
8. Get a roast lamb with a foie gras parfait starter in a fancy restaurant
9. Get a subway at 3am
10. Cheesys tuesday with da crew
11. Replay the "Hors de Prix" scene... je veux... je voudrais...
12. Paris. Because I suppose it would have made you happy
13. Swim with a manta ray
14. Eat all the croissants.
15. Go to Canada to drown your sorry **** in Lake Ontario
16. Who am I even kidding? I don't make lists.
Stop making lists and go out and just live life as it comes.
837 · May 2017
8 words story
I wanted a love that didn't want me
829 · Apr 2015
Singing Stars
"It's like they will give you an answer", she whispered to the universe. "Like each star sings to you in another language. You may not understand, but you stay and listen to their quiet voices, knowing there is a solution." She trembled, moving to hold herself. She shook her head and let out a little laugh. "See, that's why I'm not one hundred percent happy. When I need someone to hold me, I'm the only one around."
823 · Mar 2015
Labyrinthe.
We wander in a maze
Wondering which door will lead us safely to the other side.
We meet dead-ends and start again,
Take a left, hope to be right.
Cross my fingers to see the end,
Always getting deeper and deeper
In.
811 · May 2017
We
We
When will I get to say
We
Us
Our
Instead of
I
Me
Mine

Being alone is no longer nice.
Being alone makes me feel lonely.
I never used to feel lonely.
And now that I do,
I just want to be able to say

"We"
806 · Sep 2014
Your hands are cold
It’s been a while now
You keep telling me there is no difference
But I remember the way it was before
Once so warm your touch is like ice
I shiver whenever you breathe on my skin
The feeling is gone
Your hands are cold
And freeze mine when you hold them in yours
My grip is too tight
I don’t want to ever let you go
But the frost crawls up my heart like a vicious snake
And now I can’t feel anything anymore
I’m numb and blue
My skin turns to stone
And the memory of the past freezes my thoughts
Until nothing is left but the pain of the present.
792 · Mar 2015
Running out of ink
We both picked up a pen to tell our love for each other
Somehow
I am the only one who ran out of ink.
782 · Sep 2014
As you drove away
Thoughts I had as you drove away
1. You were never as beautiful to me as the moment I realized it was the last time I would see you. I suddenly noticed tiny things about you, like how seeing the back of your neck hurt more than seeing the hue of your eyes.
2. I probably would have eaten that **** bacon quiche if you had cooked it because I don't know how to say no to you when you look at me and let me lose myself in the calm lake of your soul
3. I have wondered three hundred and forty eight times in the past two weeks whether or not you are happy now. I have seen you three times in fourteen days and each time you looked a bit strained, which is strange because I distinctly remember the twinkle in your left eye when we were canoeing and I wonder if it died, or if you hide it under your bed and put it on only for special occasions.
4. I wondered twice as many times when I stopped being a special occasion, if after opening the present, ripping off strands of me to get to my heart, you decided what you found was not worth your light. So you left the box open, the gift wrap spread all over the floor, and you moved on to another present, leaving me long forgotten.
5. Does someone else get to see that spark every now and then?
6. You grabbed my pinkie at that dance and didn't let go, even when the blood rushed out and it turned blue. I didn't want to let go. I think at that point I would have rather lost my finger than let go of you. We had known each other less than twelve hours. You oozed confidence, didn't know the steps and yet you went for it. It was the hottest thing I had ever seen.
7. I thought ****, he is going to be my best friend. We are going to eat pop corn and laugh for hours and sit in silence and if happiness were a glowstick I would wear yours on my wrist and give you mine so I would shine on you and you would shine on me.
8. I never got around to getting my glowstick back.
9. You never got around to giving me yours.
10. If happiness is a glowstick I am a toxic liquid broken by inadvertence and hidden under your bed so you don't see the memories I wrote all over your room when I broke open.
11. I am not alone under your bed. I am a broken glowstick and there's the twinkle of your smile lying beside me quietly, wondering when you will wear it again. It fits you. Just like I fit you.
12. Maybe the things that fit you all end up under your bed because you are afraid we suit you so well you wouldn't be able to remove us from you, we would become like ivy, climbing onto your walls and spreading all around, breaking through your window and intruding into your house like a disease.
13. I am not a disease.
14. I would wrap myself around you and cover you like a precious gift when darkness hits so you would understand you are my heart. I don't need to put you in a box or under my bed. I don't need to put you anywhere. I want to display you, show you off like something fancy I have no right to own and yet. Yet here you are.
15. You were my winning lottery ticket.
16. The moment you drove away, I realized the ticket sat on the empty seat beside you.
17. They announced the numbers on TV tonight, and as I sat here I could not remember what numbers I had chosen. Maybe I won. Maybe I didn't. But because you drove away, I'm afraid I will never know.
I don't understand how you went from floating around places in a country to supporting the weight of the world in another.
775 · Oct 2014
Out of the box
She is different, you know?
She shines a brighter light
She smiles a brighter smile
She is like the Sun,
Everything revolves around her.
Seasons change because of her and I fall in love like I fall for autumn
Every winter she makes hot chocolate for two even though she is alone because
The idea
Of sharing yet another Christmas by
Herself
Is too painful.
She pours it in a cup and let it sit by her side.
She imagines someone will walk through the door and sit by her side.
She imagines he will smell the beverage and
Smile
At
Her
She imagines someone will walk through the door and care.
She bakes cookies for four and gives them away to people with a smile.
But she smiles and somehow I can see it is broken.
Her smile is broken.
Her laugh is empty.
She is different, you know?
771 · Mar 2016
Stakes
I am not stupid but
Neither is he
We both know
Our friendship will never be just friendship
There is a reason
We do not hang out as friends
There is a reason
We do not follow through on anything
We do not text
We do not stay alone
For long
There is a reason
And you are much better at staying away
Than I ever was
After all,
You have much more at stake
You have much more to lose
I have nothing but you
And you are already gone.
764 · Jun 2015
Midnight thought
I want what other people have
His and Hers keychains and romantic pennies,
Hand written letters on the pillow next to mine.
I want a goodbye kiss and goodnight hug.
I want it all
759 · Sep 2014
You left me 5 days
You have left me 5 days
And I cried for 3
You have left me 5 days
And I downed 2 bottles
You have left me 5 days
And I choked for 4
You have left 5 days
And you have no idea
What your heart did to me
You have left 5 days
And it has felt like an eternity
You have left me 5 days
And you stained all the happy
By making me cry tears of heartbreak
I met you 4 weeks ago
And fell the 1st second

*(Sometimes I enjoy the fantasy
That, maybe
You too, fell for me)
And then she took you away from me
753 · Sep 2014
I used to run away
I have ran away for so long
Always wondering if he would follow

When I was 12 I ran on the other side of the courtyard
Blushing because he knew I loved him
And crying because he'd laughed and brushed it away
He did not follow

When I was 15 I ran on the other side of the world
On another continent for a year
Because he was enjoying the destruction he caused in me
Complimenting me to tear me apart
Talking to me to ignore me better
Looking at me to make me feel special
And kissing another girl while staring into my eyes
So away I ran
And follow me he did not

When I was 18 I ran back into my house
Rushing to leave yours
Because after stealing my lips and my heart
You told me you had a girlfriend and wouldn't leave her
You betrayed her and made me a mistress for a day
I loved you and hoped you would turn around
But your back is the last memory I have of you
Like all the others you never followed me

When I was 19 I ran away on the beach
Pretended I needed a walk
Smoked a cigarette and drank too much
Because the girl in your arms you had just met
Had made of her lips your new home
You saw me leave and you
Waved me away

When I was 20 I
Stopped running away
I am standing right here
And if you decide one day
You are tired of being played with
Treated like a ***** secret
And thrown away when convenient for her
Please remember
I am standing right here
And I am not going anywhere
I swear I will open the door for you
751 · Sep 2014
My heart is like the moon
My heart is like the moon
Two sides divide its entirety
One lighten up by the sun
One hidden the in the shadows

In the back of my heart there is a door
Upon which someone continues to knock
Knock Knock
Knock Knock

It is the sound I hear when I am with you
The sound of a heart hammering
Yearning to be held tight
Hoping to be kissed goodnight

In the back of my heart there is a door
That I am ready to open for you
No lock, no knock,
Come in, come in,
Fill the shadows with light
749 · Mar 2015
The Universe and I
He talks like he owns the sky
Speaks to the stars and
Controls the rotating planets

In his voice I hear
Inflexions of lies,
But my mind is caught by
The poetry in his gestures
The scent of rain and the hope he'll bring me
Sunshine.
The downpour is never ending but still
I hope.
728 · May 2017
The feel of forgetting
I get these bursts of want, of extreme need to be someone's something
When I see someone being somebody's someone
And
I'll feel lonely and longing and that urge to touch touch touch someone in a way I never do. I want to massage your head

and touch your ears and have you touch me and i wonder how long has it been since that happened it was so long ago i MISS it in a way i didn't 3 minutes ago
and now my head is full with it and i want nothing more but your touch and touching you

The best way I can explain it is having an addiction of sorts.
You train yourself to stop craving something
But you have a bite
and you
descend straight to hell.
hell addiction love crave
724 · Oct 2014
Quarantine heart
You and I were impossible
An equation
With no resolution
A drop of rain
In the desert

We were impossible
Like the sight of snow
Over the ocean
Beautiful but
A natural impossibility

You and me
We could not have come closer to being
One
Possible equation
Everything screamed at me to hold on to you
While
Every fiber of your being roared to get away
And I don't want to chase you around
My mind is in quarantine
All the smiles you gave me are under lock and key
They way you looked at me is buried deep
In the corner of the prison my heart created for moments like this
It hurts too much to be betrayed and you cannot roam freely in my head
What is one more cell in my prison-clad heart
Everything is hidden or taken away from me
My heart knows I am too emotional
I cannot stand the memories without crumbling
Although you bring colours in my world of darkness
When you invade my mind all is stained of your departure
723 · Sep 2014
Sunflower
I am a sunflower
None of my breaths are wasted when the sun
Is not there
You are my sun
You make me wish for warmth
And light
And happiness in a smile
I would turn my face up to stare at you
For hours
To breathe you in
719 · Apr 2015
Lost to ashes
The distance, the courage
The sliver of skin and
The anger in your eyes
I turn away and pray
But the image just won't stay
In the land of memories
Picking paper apart
Ripping away the lies
Spreading the ashes
In places you used to take me
When there was still you and me
711 · Oct 2014
Mercury
If we are broken we are mercury
We can never been destroyed
Bury us 6 feet under but
We still *RADIATE
696 · Jul 2015
Drug addict
I still have weird fantaisies about you and me
I wish
You were in my emergency contacts
When I get drunk
I have your name on my lips and my silence as a price
I walk on eggshells just to keep being your friend
I wish
I could stop, but drugs are a too tough
And I don't know how to quit you.
676 · Nov 2014
Snake 2.0
I cannot believe how easy for you it was
To look me in the eyes and make me forget
About the ******* smile spread on your face
You wrapped your hand around my innocent heart
Like a snake with a vicious grip
You're holding me tight
Tempting my mind, torturing my soul
You play make-believe
I believe it all
And the venom you spread in me
Is a poison I have tasted before
In the sinful touch of your silky skin
I go mad with desire
Pandora's box begs to be opened
When you ******* fingers and bring them to your lips I for…
…get the taste of blood in the wine you give me
I ignore the way my mind empties out when you twine your body around me
I cannot remember if you already bite me
Sweet and addictive your drug turns my insides to acid
Bloodshot eyes and ruined smile
When withdrawal hits and you slide away
All I will be left with is guilt,
The firm print of doubt against my soul,
The cold shadow of hopelessness following my steps,
And the words you said
That made me laugh once
But make me cry now
Quieting my instinct was a wrong move
You jumped on me like a bird of prey
Envelopped my feelings in red silk
You offered me an antidote in form of riddle
Out of three only one will save me
Oh, the cruelty of the game you play
In my head your name tastes like Heaven
But in truth I know it's a disguise
For your species was born in Hell
A special place to disrupt my abused mind
From the corner of your smile I can tell
You fed me the illusion of paradise
But my veins are light up with your toxic love
As I fall to the ground
Gasping for a last breath
I cannot believe how easy for you it was
To release me and slither away
As if I never mattered at all
As if I never existed at all
675 · Sep 2014
Goodbye
Einstein said "a man should look for what is, and not for what he thinks should be."
And so I write you this last poem,
To tell you I have opened my eyes
And realized we were both feeding on the illusion
She would love you
You would love me
And I can see things for what they are
I will never find my happy ending
In a heartbreak
So I know what I have to do
Say goodbye
And move forward
Leave my heart behind myself
In case you stumble upon it and decide
To pick it up and bring it to me but
I have to say goodbye
I need to say goodbye
And take a step forward
Leave my love for you behind
And though I wish you would see
And though I wish you would choose me
What I think does not matter because
What is is painful
And I am tired of the pain
I just want happiness
The way you gave it to me once
But cannot provide any longer
So I have to say goodbye

(I just wish I could say it out loud)

*goodbye
I probably will never be able to tell you how bad I need to quit you
668 · Mar 2015
God
God
Please explain to me
Why I'm so lonely
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