You broke my wings
You dragged me down
With every word you let me down
Nearly touching the ground
I knew what I had to do
Escape from you
Yet I kept listening to your lies
Staring death right in the eye
You dropped me down a cliff
Down in the water
I couldn't breathe

Still under deep water
I try to find my way out of the dark

On the edge of the cliff I imagine
You watched me fall with a smirk
I can still see the smile on your face
It was my turn to fly
But you cut out my wings and threw me down
Give me back my freedom
I've been drowning for too long,
Release me now
I would do anything to swim back out

A chaque fois que tu rentres de bonne heure,
Mon coeur se remplit de Bonheur.
Tu illumines nos soirées monotones,
Tu nous fais rire avec tes blagues, même si elles redondonnent.
Avec toi on ne s'ennuie jamais,
On parle, on crie, on s'échange des secrets.
Tu n'hésites pas à nous faire des câlins,
Même quand tu t'en vas de bon matin.
On n'aime pas te voir partir si ****,
On préfère quand tu restes dans le coin.
La Russie, c'est comme le bout du monde,
Heureusement que tu n'es pas James Bond!
On aime te voir à la maison,
Avec tes pyjamas troués et ta barbe de bison.
Même pas peur quand tu vas chez le coiffeur,
On connaît ta tête de pomme par cœur!
On a beau se plaindre de ton penchant pour les sucreries,
Il faut avouer qu'un peu de graisse, c'est aussi confortable qu'un lit.
Même si tu trempes ton pain au fromage dans ton café,
Nous, on a même pas peur de t'embrasser.
On a toujours hâte que tu reviennes,
Même si ca ne fait pas une heure que tu es parti.
Ne t'inquiètes pas on restera les mêmes,
On sera toujours là pour te faire des guilis.
T'es le roi des bisous, t'es le roi des Papas,
On t'aimera toujours, même si tu manges du chocolat!

We do not stick together.
Two pieces of a puzzle and I am the missing piece.
But you are already entertwined, you do not realize I am the
Missing Piece.

She walks the woods
Stays the night
Everyday at her Grandma's house

He knows the path
Walks with her
Silently he stalks her

"It's not me, it's the wolf"
She swears to her Granma's ghost
"He dug my skin up for treasures"

Found the bones of a pretty young girl
Hiding behind her bright blonde curls
Shed her skin on the side of the road

Picked up her coat and put on a show
"I will go to Grandma's home
And eat her heart out like a wounded soul"

She uses the last of her dying breath
To call out to the lumberjack
"He went all the way to my Grandma's cottage

He wears a disguise, my great red cape and hoody
Don't
Mistake him for another hooligan
He's the big bad wolf and he'd eat you in an instant"

I have become angry.
I was sad, and now I am angry.
I have been told you pass through stages of grief
When the one who got away is indifferent
Indifference hurts.
So does anger.
And anger is building inside me like a volcano
Anger is rising to the surface like burnt milk forgotten on a stove
Anger is seeping into my veins because I have been nothing but nice
Nothing but convenient
Yet
You make me feel like I am a bother
A stain on your carpet you cannot wash out
A nail sticking out of the furniture, just a little
Out of place
You make me feel out of place
I am right where I need to be
Right where I belong
You do not get to kick me out because I have become
Inconvenient
I won't accommodate you any longer
I have been nothing but truthful
Honest
Myself
And you do not get to make me feel any less than that.
I will not stoop so low.
I will not bow down.
I am here to stay.
This is my life.

It could have been anybody
But you chose me
Did I have a good profile?
Was I your target from the beginning?
Did you plan it all?
Or was I a brand new invention
A new toy you could play with
Until boredom kicks and you throw me away?
You could have been honest
Admit you're just another man but
Hell,
You wanted to be a gangster
You're not a bad guy, you're not even dangerous,
But boy you drove me insane
I would have given anything for you
I would have given anything to you
You knew how badly I wanted you but
Hell,
You always wanted more
So what you have now
Is dust in the wind
Floating away and you're all alone
I cannot wait to see you fall.

There are so many shadows on the planet.
The ones of the living, bodiless, moving along, appreciating the complicated road the humans are taking to enjoy each beat of their heart. But then there are others.
Shadows inside of those who live.
Hiding beneath the flesh lies an empty carcass of what used to be the poem of a life yet to be lived. Hiding beneath lies a ruined soul waiting to be picked up by death. You do not always recognize those who have died inside. They know how to put up a front, but… the inside is rotten and empty and sad and destroyed and I wonder how you can possibly live a life like that.
The real question, though… is how that happens? How do you die inside? Does it happen all at once?
Someone tells you they do not love you anymore, and everything goes through you, your heart, your soul, your happiness, everything vital just crushes down and breaks all over the floor in an invisible flood of despair that swallows your entire being?
Or is it done slowly, almost imperceptibly? You go through the motions, you smile and laugh, but somehow, the laugh empties itself out, as if, suddenly, you only had one reserve that would never replenish. The reserve runs out and the laugh is empty. The smile faints into a neutral expression, and then it's gone, too. The rest follows the same path. After a while, every gesture, every word, every look is empty. But the change is so subtle, almost natural. And no one notices. And you are the last one to leave. Your body is a shadow and you are gone.
"As good as dead".

Mon papa, c'est le plus fort des papas.
Mon papa, c'est le plus beau des papas.
Mon papa, même quand il est fatigué, on dirait Richard Gere.
Mon papa, même si il est carnivore, moi, je l'aime quand même.
Mon papa, quand il mange, on dirait qu'il a 5 ans, mais moi, je l'aime quand même.
Mon papa, il a des voitures super cool qui font vroom.
Mon papa, quand il conduit, on dirait Michel Vaillant, même pas peur.
Mon papa, quand il me dit bonne nuit, j'ai même plus peur.
Les monstres sous mon lit, eux, ils se désintègrent avec la force des bisous de mon papa.
Mon papa, parfois, il ronfle et je l'aime quand même.
Mon papa, quand on est dans la piscine, il joue au crocrodile avec nous.
Mon papa, quand il porte des choses, les manches de sa chemise se déchire sous les   muscles.
Mon papa, avec une barbe, on dirait un homme des caverne, c'est trop cool.
Mon papa, quand il fait des câlins, on disparait sous ses couches d'amour.
Mon papa, quand il nous emmène faire du shopping, il supporte des heures et il sourit.
Mon papa, il nous laisse faire des trucs qui lui font peur, mais il veut nous faire plaisir, alors il dit oui.
Mon papa, il m'a laissé faire du saut en parachute, et je suis même pas morte.
Mon papa, il râle parfois mais on sait qu'en fait, c'est parce qu'il nous aime.
Mon papa, même quand il voyage, il pense à nous.
Mon papa, il nous emmène en voyage avec des photos tout le temps quand il travail.
Mon papa, il nous emmène en voyage tout le temps quand il est en vacances.
Mon papa, il fait des trucs de papa trop génial.
Par exemple, il connait nos restaurants préférés, et il sait ce qui nous fait plaisir.
Alors il nous y emmène.
Mon papa, même quand il est en colère, il est beau.
Mon papa, quand il sourit il est comme Thor, le dieu du tonnerre, il est puissant.
Du coup, parfois, ma maman elle fait un nervous break down.
Parce que mon papa il est trop beau c'est même pas normal.
Mon papa, il a un double menton pour que si un jour Game Of Thrones arrive dans la vraie vie, on pourra pas lui trancher la gorge.
Mon papa, il fait du vélo plus vite que le Tour de France. La preuve, ca fait des années qu'ils sont en France, mon papa, lui, il est déjà à Dubai.
Mon papa, parfois il oublie notre anniversaire quand on lui demande au pif, mais il oublie jamais de le souhaiter, donc on lui pardonne.
Mon papa, il voyage en first class.
Mon papa, il connait les aéroports mieux que James Bond.
Mon papa, il regarde des series TV de jeunes.
Mon papa, il porte des costards.
Mon papa, il nous emmène manger des dans endroits incroyables.
Mon papa, il nous emmène dans des hôtels de luxe.
Mon papa, il devrait être président du monde.
Mon papa, il est mieux que les autres papa parce que c'est le mien.
Mon papa, il est irremplaçable.  
Mon papa, si on m'en donnait un autre, j'en voudrais pas.
Mon papa, je veux que celui la.
Mon papa il est pas toujours là, mais c'est pas grave, parce qu'il est jamais ****.
Mon papa, il traverse le monde mais après il nous raconte, alors c'est cool.
Mon papa, il fait une super vinaigrette. Dommage que j'aime pas la vinaigrette.
Mon papa, quand il fait un barbeque, ca fait beaucoup de fumée et pas beaucoup de feu, mais c'est pour mieux nous impressioner quand il fait rôtir la viande.
Mon papa, il parle Anglais.
Mon papa, c'est le meilleur papa du monde.
Mon papa, je l'aime, même si maintenant, il a presque un demi siècle.
Mon papa, c'est comme un druide.
Ca meurt jamais.
C'est trop cool.
Mon papa, c'est comme une mode indémodable, tu veux jamais le remplacer, il est toujours tendance.
Mon papa, on peut pas le comparer a une mode fashion, parce que c'est un humain.
Mon papa, c'est le meilleur humain que je connaisse.
Avec ma maman et ma soeur et mon chat, mais chuuuuut.
C'est un secret.
Mais ce que je préfère à propos de mon papa, c'est que dès que je le vois, je peux lui dire:
"mon papa, je l'aime."

If our story lasted only an hour
I would turn the world back on its axis
Again and again
To live this moment
I would breathe it in
Live it out.

I wake up every morning wishing I hadn't and I cannot shake the devil on my shoulder, whispering evil, dead things in my ears. Each day the devil feeds on my despair and grows heavier than me, than my will to live, than the weight of the world.
I bend under the weight and wonder how long until I break.
I wonder who will win.
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
You.
You who?
Only you.
I run circles and get lost in the universe.

She looks at him like you never looked at me
I gaze longingly while you struggle to get away
After all,
You never promised me you would stay.

My emptiness pounds in my ears
My emptiness is killing me I fear
Like the miles I eat up while running
Trying to fill the gaping hole deep within
With gasping breaths
And hollow sounds
Struggling to stay afloat
Already drowning down
Boom boom boom
Pounding relentlessly
Boom boom boom
Calling for your mercy

Choking on emptiness
When you need someone so much
When you wish to hold them so much
But they're so far away
And your heart…
It constricts with longing and fear and love and you miss them so much
And you're not complete when they are
Absent.
Absent is awful
They are alive, they are somewhere but
They are not with you
They are present somewhere you are not
And it breaks my heart because she is absent from my life
But present in somebody else's
It's a choice they made
A priority they took
And you didn't win.
Once again you're at the back
And you're nobody's precious person
You have no one to be present for
You have no one to be absent from
You are just here
For yourself.

I  remember the day I lost my soul.
And I wish I could explain it better but how exactly do you explain your dignity being stepped on and your innoncence being ripped to shreds?
The details don't matter because they never do.
I just wanted to go back home.
I just wanted to go back twenty minutes and wait for my friend.
I just wanted to go back an eternity and never take my first breath because how can I still be alive when I feel so dead inside?
And I was just a kid, but I grew up twenty years in the space of twenty seconds.
I didn't cry because I was empty.
I didn't scream because my throat was dry.
I thought about flying and the sound my shoes wouldn't have made on the pavement had I had wings.
Then I thought about this guy who'd made wings out of wax in the legend, and how he'd gotten too close to the sun and died.
And I thought maybe I was already dead.
Because my wings were melted and I was already falling down I
Have drowned in oceans deeper than the universe and
Like a heart lost at sea I am a human lost in the billions of lives walking around me
And joking about **** and not realizing their jokes are not funny
Stripping me down to an skeleton, an object to be played with, a mass of skin and bones, a live doll who couldn't get her voice to be heard by people passing by and turning their heads the other way is not funny.
And I don't want to wish you dead
But I can't bear to see you alive
I have suffered a thousand nights
Your words on my skin like a burning fire
Boiling my blood with the anger a 16 year old should never have to feel
I have been walking the walk of shame
Eversince you spit on the floor where you lay my ruined soul and left me to die And maybe one day I won't wake up with the image of you at my throat but for now you poisonned my past so each night I bleed my ink on paper to forget the weight of your body on top of mine
and I can't trust or smile or live the way I did before and I fall asleep each night feeling your shadow breathing down my neck I
Am no longer a blooming flower but a rotten scent like the perfume you were wearing that night I
Am not dead but I don't wish to feel so I sleep and in my dreams I wash my face with your blood and wipe my tears with my courage so I can clear my eyes and watch you as I blink you away you have not won this battle
In my dreams I am the hero and I don't have bruises and marks imprinted on my body because you do not exist in my dreams
But then I wake up and take twenty shattered breaths on my shaking lips and even as I suffocate in a world that doesn't understand my pain I live each day stronger than the next and let your memory fall down the land of oblivion with the hope one day I'll turn around and you'll be gone.
I have hope.

You told me you were glad
I had taken a chance on you
You told you would love
To have me at your house
You told me to feel free
To stay as long as I wanted
You told me I could be your friend
Only if you could be mine
You told me you would be there
Whenever I needed someone to talk to
***** data roaming
You told me to shout really loudly
If I could not reach you another way
You told me I wasn't a fool but if I was
I was your kind of fool
You told me you couldn't believe I couldn't dance
Because we were the best dancing partners
You told me that if you brought the best in me
Then the best was pretty ****** amazing
You told me it was hard being us
Always so awesome
You told me you liked having me there
In the same bed as you
You told me the both of us
Made a pretty good team
You told me you did not intend on stopping
Talking to me, laughing with me
You told me you would teach me anything
How to cuddle and whatever I wanted
You told me you would take me to the beach
Because I had not yet been
You told me you would take me to do something fun
Whenever I would get some free time
You told me we made a great team…
… Unless we were playing Monopoly
You told me you would come and try the cheese nan
If I came and tried your fondue
You told me you liked staying up
Just so you could talk to me
You told me you were glad you took the ferry
To meet me a universe away
You told me we would make a perfect team
I could be the olive skinned French beauty, and you the eternal white Englishman
You told me I was too lovely
You told me you would come and get me
Even if you had to walk to get to me
You told me you wanted to go to Venice
And asked me if I wanted to join you.

You told me so many beautiful things and for that I am so grateful
You made me smile so many times
You made me happy every day
For a while
Then you forgot I was alive but I still have the memories of us
In my mind, next to the could have been drawer
Where all the things we could have done, could have been,
Lay still in silence.
You told me so many beautiful things and I
Believed them all.
You made me believe I could fall again.
You broke my heart but you made me believe,
And for the next one who will come along
I will open my heart wide open
Because you made me believe I could,
Maybe,
Love again.

Homme Un
Il me regarde et il me ment
Je me sens comme une enfant devant une vitrine de mensonges
Il me sourit, me noit lorsque je plonge
Je rêve d'une bouffée d'air
Mais je ne respire que l'alcool de ton haleine
Je cours mais ne m'éloigne guère

Homme Deux
Me fait me sentir belle
Tout comme les trois autres femmes
Qu'il voit chaque semaine
Je ferme les yeux pour ne pas voir
Mon reflect douloureux, triste dans un miroir
Il oublit de m'appeler le soir, ne préviens pas qu'il rentre ****
Après tout je ne suis que trophée numéro deux,
Je n'ais pas de valeur dans tes yeux

Homme Trois
M'emmène en vacances
Il prépare quelque chose, je pense
**** de moi la pensée d'un rêve différent
Je vis ma vis à chaque instant
Tourne la tête quand il comtemple
L'écran de sont téléphone avec passion,
J'évite, je m'invente des raisons
Il ne peut pas partir, ne peut pas s'en aller
Je n'ai même pas eu le temps d'arrêter de l'aimer

Homme Quatre
N'aura aucune chance
De rentrer dans la danse
Je me suis fais blessée trop de fois pour compter
Je ne survivrais pas une quatrième calamité

I am ashamed of what I did for
                                            Your attention
                    My skin did not deserve
                              All those

B
     l
         o
              o
                   d
                         y
                                               



  *scars

Art is beautiful
It makes life worth it
No matter what you do, whether you write, paint, sew, dance, act, sculpt, all of it is valuable.
It makes our community worth so much more than just a few people worrying about bills and stock market.
Art gives the rest of the world an idea of what your community is like.
What your community enjoys.
What your community is at heart.
Who we are.
As a whole.

I created my own mask when I was 8 and crying in the back of a cab.
2. I had taken for granted the joy and happiness but my eyes were seeing through tears and for the very first time I could not breathe under the weight of the stone placed upon my heart and we were driving away and away
and away
3. When the plane took off I stopped crying
4. I do not remember the next 2 years
5. At age 13, I spent 3 years being bullied. During winter I would hold my forehead against the radiator until it burned and burned and I would tell my parents I wasn’t feeling well. They would let me stay home by myself and I would feel such relief at not having to see the people who hurt me. I would end my days in my room hugging my frame and reminding myself I am worth something.
6. At age 16 I took my bag full of my broken self-esteem and destroyed self-worth and left the continent to get a chance at mending myself.
7. It has been years but I still feel worthless sometimes.
8. When I come back to the place where it all took place I get mad. The adults who were supposed to protect me just looked at me down with pity and the family that should have been there for me did not understand that I was not being dramatic this time, Dad, and perhaps the saleswoman skills you praise me for were acquired while bargaining for my life you know nothing. I hid all the places where they broke me under a mask that fit so well over my face I do not know how to get it off. It fits so well you never realized it isn’t me, Dad, Mom, you know something is wrong. I see you staring with wariness when I get lost in thought, my hand creating waves in the wind from the open window of the backseat of your car, but you never say anything.
9. Even if you did speak to me, I wonder what I would be able to explain. I cannot even speak clearly to my psychiatrist.
10. I try. Isn’t it enough to try ?
11. The mask does not come off, not for you, not for him, not for anyone. Not even for myself. I wonder if I will ever see my real face again.

I am torn between
Running to your door
And telling you I love you
Face to face
Or
Crawling in my bed
And whispering I love you
From far away

**(I wonder which one you would hear better)

I want a love that changes the world
The way I view it
I want a love so deep the deepest ocean would seem shallow in comparison
I want an all-burning love that makes me pity the stars for looking at the moon when the true star is the sun.
I want a love like the sun.

You were my sun, and you eclipsed my world.

*Now I live in darkness.