is reason alone to live

On a hot day.

Creamy,
delicious,
Dripping
Ice-cream
Mmm...

Left* -

 my desires boiling...
my needs over-powering...

  carefree



                             ­                                       Right-       
                                                          ­                                                
                                                               my light flickering...
                                                   ­            my heart yearning...                                                                
 ­                                                            
    ­                                                            Passionate
                




                                                   Center -

                                                   Logical

                                                   Steady

­                                                   Reliable
                                                    ­          
- March 11th, 2014  11:48 pm

In white water lilies ;
Miniature specks of radiant light
Swim in clear water of minerals, nestled by honey brown soil of nourishing elements
Engulfed by inner petals of delicate but impenetrable comfort
Transported by wise ripples along a translucent rectangle
Eager to drop off the water-fall edge of the plane
To fall as rain and unto its chosen carrier
Of whom shall be called its mother
Waiting to start developing physically after the essence of the mother's choice is fused with her very own jewel
The essence belonging to whom it will call father.

Swirling in a typhoon
Never wanting to be still again
For i have never felt so alive
So captivated by this natural force
A rush
A truth
A powerful pull
A true love

I AM the divine centre of this typhoon
Consumed by its very existence
Wanting to forever dance along with him
To be entwined with him
This typhoon of love i call --
*my soulmate

10:38am Wednesday,  20th May,  2015.

A wise man speaks when he needs to.

*A smart man speaks when he wants to.

Fluttering blue butterfly
O so sweet!
Whipping your wings
Vibrating,
sofly floating in the wind.
Bright green hummingbird
Speeding pass
directs you to nectar
from honeysuckle nearby
Ambrosia, absolutely.
The butterfly never forgets,
Memories last forever-
Since this butterfly is immortal.
Remember?
Resplendent human hands
Clasping white water lily
Gently pouring clean light, brown soil
into petals' opening
A small handful of water mixed as well
Then off floats waterlily, set down gently
On large rectangular glossy river
Having no beginning , no end.
Clear sky, all light,
Enchanted, mesmerized, humbled!
Were butterfly's feelings
To see The Divine Being
Create human girl
In the Higher realm^
Butterfly felt the new unique presence
already born as a tiny spark
And heard a voice telling the Lily
'This is how you were made'
Watching it perfectly sail away.
Now here flies butterfly!
Into Earth 3D plane
And has felt the unique spark again.




4:47am Thursday, 26th, May, 2016.

*** is male
                                                         ­   **** is female

              *** for money

                                                          ­                                         *** for drugs

                               *** for lust

                                                           ­                         *** by force

         *** galore

                                                         ­                                                  *** as a bet

                 *** to fill boredom

                                                        ­                        *** for relief

                    *** for pleasure

                                                      ­                                        *** with passion

                               *** with fear

                                                           ­                        *** as bargain

                *** for attention  

                                                    ­                                   *** for acceptance

                                  *** make-believing

                                                 ­                                             

*** with feeling
.
.
*** with love
.
.
.....................................................Bu­t Making Love** ..............That's Real ***.  *** is Poetry.


                                            - March 4th, 2014.    3: 01 am.

We get one
We give thanks
So grateful

We get two
Our eyes widen
So happy

We get three
We feel we deserve it
We want more

We get four
But four is not five
We expect more

We get five
But five is not all
We want everything

We lose all
We are regretful for being ungrateful
So sad

We find one
We give thanks
So grateful

2:43pm Friday, 31st July, 2015

I'll tell you where I am

               When I stop moving

For now,  I  don't *know where I'm heading.


10:07 am,  Saturday, June 27th, 2015

I can't believe you just said that to me
( please, you are the only one I expect kindness from, do not say such things, I'll forgive you if you never do that again)

Go away, leave me alone.
( please, hug me tightly, tell me you're sorry and don't let me go until my muscles relax after I feel convinced, please be convincing)

I really don't care what you do right now
( please, do what i hope for. I care so much, deeply and you affect my actions and feelings greatly, take my hand and make things right)

I can't take this anymore, I can't stand you.
( please, change just that one behaviour and I will accept all the rest of you genuinely. for the others qualities are so good, you're a great guy)

Let go of my hand, you're hurting me
( please, my emotions are soft, I'm fragile and gentle, I feel no physical pain at this moment. I am not a weak snail. I'm a lioness but I am hurt by what you did, don't let my hand free, hold the other and look at me as you explain to me, to correct the issue. I'm eagerly waiting on you)

You always do this to me
( please, lets figure this out, you've done this once before, but we never dealt with the underlying issue, we were too eager to kiss and make up, wanting things to be perfect again, let's just talk this through, find the root and pluck this **** before it grows)

I never want to see you again!
( please,don't leave, why would I ever want you to leave? If you leave, even for five minutes I will  suffocate, let me breathe, stay with me, I love you. please don't leave me!)

you never listen to me!
( please, don't listen to what I'm saying right now. I'm just so angry, saying things I don't mean to seem tough and far from the fact that I need you in my life, you are my everything, ignore my harsh words.)

I will never forgive you.
( please, know that i have already forgiven you, it wasn't that big of a problem, I'm over reacting out of fear that this may happen again, it IS the second time. though we never actually dealt with it, so we are not to blame, we simple must try to solve this not avoid it. we can do it)

I'm sorry ...I love you. I'm so glad we are good again. I missed you so much**
( I'm not sorry. this was excellent training for the both of us. we needed it. Now we are more secure. we have a mutual understanding. a loving connection and treat each other better. I love you more now. I miss you incredibly. You are my one and only forever and always.

2017

Thou wander'st desperately
Carrying thy frozen heart
in shaking, worrisome hands

Lack of love breaks thee
A beg of good fate- remains an unheard plea
Thy life an endless winter
without even a measly 'camp fire'

Thou art cold, unwillingly, remorsefully  cold
Craving warmth for thy forsaken *****
An ***** that has never been played
A thing thou carriest
An instrument called thy heart.
An ***** that has never played- the music of love.  


9:28 am- Tuesday, 3rd, March, 2015

Doubt anyone would get this..

My hand brought up to salute forcefully

Even though I was about to willingly

Two seconds more

Would have been enough

Instead you blow your whistle!

And I'm charged with **disobedience

When all it was,

Was your IMPATIENCE!

Models are clothes hangers

      Bound to be tossed aside sooner or later

Fresh, new faces and styles erupt daily*

      Don't take it so personally

Being just a hanger on a rack

Take what you learnt and be grateful for that.

7:18pm, Friday, 26th, 2015.

Why is it that whenever I am not well

                                                           ­                 I tend to reflect on my life,

                                   How i treat others

It's as if I not only want to get better from the illness

                                                        ­       but need to be better in general.

Is Tahirih today not good enough?    :(

Silly fever, illnesses are for mortals, so why you trouble me so?

May the light of Diwali

Defeat all darkness*

Or perhaps.. *Transform that darkness into light itself.

I wave my steel of sparkles wishing away unwanted emotions.

Wish I had the taste of you on my lips..

The sound of your voice whispering in my ear...

To feel your firm hands grab me greedily

To feel you hungrily, lavishly bite me

To hear you tell me that I am all yours and yours only, forever and ever

To make me tell you I belong to you

Me already Knowing it to be true

As you embrace me tighter

To watch your face as you take what is yours to keep

And be lost with you

For hours upon hours-

Just A dream ..

Like the sun's transcendental glow-
His positive energy is illuminating  

Like the sun is an almost perfect sphere -
His personality, character and qualities are almost flawless

Like the sun is the source of  Earth's bio -
His very existence sustains my joyful life

Like the sun being our universe's calm, steady and powerful center -
His presence occupies the core of my thought, word and deed

Like the sun radiates a strong magnetic field -
His embodiment allures me so intensely yet effortlessly

Though the sun's light reaches Earth in 8 minutes -
His light extends to me in an attosecond

Though the Sun contains 99.86% of the mass in the Solar System-
His accommodation in my heart encompasses a full 100%

Though the sun may one day run out of nuclear fuel and burn out
His love for me and my love for Him will remain eternal, everlasting...

*Unfathomably, Spiritually endless...
There can only be one sun in a universe, I know not mine.

Silver* - I'm enchanting and amazing

          Gold - I'm dazzling and glamorous

                      Red - I'm fierce, blatant and outrageous

                               Black - I'm pensive, pondering the hows and whys 
 
                    Orange - I'm kind and helpful, a humanitarian

          Blue - My sapphire heart burns, I love angelically

  Pink - I'm compassionate, delicate, a water lily

               Green - I'm conservative, thoughtful with care

                           Purple - I'm proper, polite, royally charming

                                        yellow - I'm ecstatic, eccentric, a fanatic

                              peach - I'm pleasant, quiet, beautiful to see

            grey - I'm sophisticated, driven, straight-forward, no *******

Rainbow* - I'm a rainbow!
My split seconds of elated perfection      
..oh those rare moments...<3

When smoke fills lungs

            Blood in veins freeze

                       Tears stream down on face

                               Hands collapse disgraced

                                   Heart's screams ignored

                                           Lips curl

                                                   Mouth exhales.

Angel cries for that soul.
When smoke fills lungs.



- Feb 23rd, 2014. 3:13 am.

I won't be there to catch you if you fall

            *If you don't tell me where you are



10:04 am,  Saturday, June 27th, 2015

Some lights clouded
Some are bright
Some glow dim
Some fearfully hide
Some are mesmerizing
Some feel tender
Some seem blinding
Some are lost
Some now finding
Some fluctuate
Others remain wholesome
Yet All are still the same light
Light in different forms shining.


- 2:27 pm Aug 12th 2018.

Most persons who are ageable
                                            - aren't even adults

They are just grown children

                  Who have learnt fancier words

       more serious sounding expressions

                 And
new
ways
of
secret
tantrums.

Those imposters. Caught ya.

Spider one. Grownchildren zero.

Mistrusful people
Who would regularly doubt your loyalty
End up alone,
Don't they?

Those who want only their way
And cannot give room for yours
End up alone,
Don't they?

Persons who push others away
Even though they want their love
End up alone,
Don't they?

What of those who may mistrust every now and again,
Who more than usually prefer their way
Who loves you dearly
But yet sometimes pushes you away
They don't end up alone,
Do they?

May you tell me why it is that a magician pulls a rabbit out of a black top hat?

Why had that become such an amusing tradition?

What was he thinking?

What was his reason for this rabbit?

Is it because it is deemed adorable and thus he believes shall appeal to the crowd?

Or was it the only animal in the shop he could get his hands on at the time?

Maybe it was a borrowed neighbour's pet?

Was this new magician a former vet?

That white rabbit, pink-eyed and cute.. where does he go scampering off to off set?

Is it even really a rabbit or an impossibly tiny man in a hand sewn suit?

These questions are all important.

Why are they important?

Because they distract me from other real questions:

Why is it that us humans haven't recognized wholesomely our true purpose?

We have existed for centuries..
yet no firm, world wide acceptance and truth as to why we are here..

But there ARE news and breakthroughs about new technology, warfare gear, entertainment, pleasure, fashion, luxury and outer space.

We seem to know everything else except about ourselves ..

What is our collective purpose?

What is our individual purpose?

Is there is a purpose?

Of course there is.

Where can I find it?

How may I find it?

Honestly... I'll figure it all out...
and when I do.. I will tell you.

In the mean time...I wonder:

Why it is that a magician pulls a rabbit out of a black top hat?


11:11pm Tuesday 28th July,2015.

Dreamland~
A place where-
All living entities are light in colour, translucent at times.
Clouds are soft, edible, fluffy cotton candy.

People are kind and gentle.
Where God walks with man,
physically living as his neighbour,
Us being worthy of such delight.

Where no darkness gathers
For twelve hours of golden unheated sunlight,
Then twelve hours of silver glistening moonlight
Leave no room for shadows to dwell.

Our bodies are divine,
placing our hands on trees we consume the required nutrients daily.
We absorb it , cell to cell,
exchanging energy blissfully,
never taking more than our share.

We understand coexistence,
cooperation,
togetherness, support, love and trust.
We take care of each other as a must.

We swim like mermaids.
Consistently swimming -our legs merge together,
cells stay connected
as long as we're in water.
Breathing by air bubbles even in laughter, we race the otters.

We Fly acrobatically as humming birds
Cheerful, Calm
Without doubts.

This dreamland,
my canoe leads to.
An Egyptian boat ride.


2:09am Saturday, May 14th, 2016.

Praise to the Supreme Being!

The source of all creations

The Evergreen Tree of Life

The Unfathomable Power

The Eternal Sunlight

The unconditional Love

The Holy Lamb , Calf,  Lion and Dove.

The Anonymous Leader whom no eyes see

The Forgiving Peak that never sleeps..

The Omnipotent form

The All knowing Body

The omnifarious Parent

Our Lord

God.

Thank you for all you provide

I am forever your humble child.

I clasp my hands and close my eyes  

I say a prayer with Love.

3:37pm Mon-30-May-2016

Awakened by her vibrations

His molten rocks sputter,

Preferring to remain undisturbed.

Boiling, brewing, he begun erruption.

Amused by volcano's reaction

she listens and watches,no retaliation.

Considering her own stormy nights

when her lightning bolts strike thrice;

When her clapping of thunder

revolts even the sages

(both above and under).

She places a palm outwards,

blows kisses of cool wind,

To greet his fury,

His sweet love remembered.

His embers, with a smile, are pardoned.

She showers his projecting magma-

With droplets of chilled agua.

Awaited patiently for his red to cool,

to be brown, with help from yellow sun;

So that his lava could reconnect with outer earth-green.

Using a drifting veer she carries a charming flower seed and lays it beside him,

Soft petals soon blossom, rosy and pink.

They both smile gently,
now glowing for each other.

The volcano and Storm are forever in love, in flare and submerged;

Growing compassion and understanding of each other's plates and waves.

Yet neither may burn nor drown

but somehow remain facing the other-

At the very tip of their forbidden lips' kiss- for this day, tomorrow and in endlessness.

1:55am . Thurs, 24th, August, 2017.

Cold and stagnant* - I was found by a creature with two legs and two arms.
I was in a safe, concealed space before it took me.

Buried - it stuck me down without my consent.
It would not listen to me, almost as if it couldn't hear me.
Probably because I was too tiny. 

Panicked - I was afraid I'd suffocate but somehow I found a way to breathe. 

Scared - It always came back to spy on me, but I was smart-
I stayed hidden below and remained unseen. 

Thirsty -  I soon discovered and made a friend called Water.
 It told me to let it in- that it'll help me feel better.
 It seemed friendly, so I did what I was told-
and let as much in, to my heart's content. 

Changing - I felt myself swelling.
I was nervous of this new bulging yet I kept in-taking-
before Water stopped visiting.

Stronger - I became comfortable with new found energy and decided to stretch below and tour my new home.
 When I did that I met another friend called Soil.
It gave me delicious treats and later in life taught me to search on my own for more.

Brave - One day I had the courage to peek outside.
I stretched upwards amazed that I can change myself in such a manner!
It was then I felt myself glow for the first time!
Instantly, a new friend I met!
Helpful and wise- her name was Sunlight!
She taught me how to make my own food and reassured me that I can utilize her glow whenever she came out to play. 
Seeing Sunlight was the best part of my day.

Bonding - Water said he and Sunlight are best friends.
He goes up to see her and he hitches a ride back down with his Cloud allies.
I wanted to have a close relationship too,
so I started to stretch even more,
reaching as high as I could,
trying to touch her. ( never been able to touch her but at least I felt her)

Growing, stretching and enhancing- below and above -
Green velvets graced my brown limbs and down below I sunk deeper.
I sprouted delicate pink studs on top and learnt to dance with the Wind.
That was the most blissful thing.

LIVING -
Soon after, I even grew fond of Human! That's the word, a Butterfly who drank my nectar, told me it was called.
In the day, out of kindness I gift Human with rich oxygen and in return it enriches my home with good intentions.
Just to let me be me-
pretty as could be-
It sends me positive energy, much to my glee.
Human had let me be free-
never plucked at me.
I was and still am thankful.
I blossomed to the best of my ability until the day I started to wither.

Serene - Soil told me to be optimistic, that it will let me be one with it.
How kind.
It even said "Together, we can help the newcomer and show it how to fend for itself. "
I was overjoyed to hear that - for that meant even in my death- I can still help one more, allowing my essence and presence to be absorbed by its fresh existence

Fading
Just wanted to tell my story
-Before the fall of my last petal.
My life as a flowering plant was exceptional.

- Feb 28th , 2014        2: 44 am.

Long hours at work
I need a pick me up
off to have a drink!
at famous pulse club
everyone comfortable
living loud and proud!
until he got up
and fired His first shot!
screams and cries!
run for your lives!
duck and hide!
A mad man[hired?]
the night derailed
his mind deranged
so many innocent lives lost..
for no good cause....
Rest in Peace-
dear sweet souls
May God keep you in Heaven-
and send angels to your loved ones-
to console their mourns
to comfort their loss...



12:14am Wednesday, 15th, June, 2016.

I see it!
I run!
I leap!
I fall!
I am unconscious!
I'm awake!
I have lost the rainbow from sight!
I close my eyes!
I peek!
I wait for another rainbow!
I'm old!
Time is up!
Only to realise there was never a rainbow.

Time does not exist.
It requires no measurement.
For it is stagnant.
WE change,
For better or for worse
And we change our surroundings with us.
The world cannot change on its own
For the elements may have & give life
But we are the sustainers or destroyers of our home.
Together we could replenish the world as a unit;
Opposingly we could destroy
the world
And fight against each other,
Forgetting we are all on the same side. ONE-KIND.

The lamb nurses adoringly

Frolics in the meadow

Trots by the dandelions

Chases yellow butterfly

Drinks water from spring

Halts under oak tree

And naps there peacefully.



2:03 pm Wednesday 4th May, 2016.

Running ,she whizzes past a gentleman fellow
His nature confuffled, a feather in his hat, yellow.
I glance once more seeking a quiet spot to mellow
Catch my breath , before i bellow
A crane grazes the ground beneath me , to which i look up hearing his "hello"
A street musician strums sad tunes on his chelo

How You fly by when he is by my side

bidding me and my lover a short ride

and when he isn't...you drag your hands, you hurtful clock

and make sure I hear the deafening sound of every tock.

Every thought is like a single red blood cell,


                                                         ­           it may seem insignificant,


                                           being­ only one,


but it adds up to enriched blood,


                                which powers and transports everything around your body,




                                       Disregard not, the small thoughts~




     Small tweaks lead to noteable improvements




- March 4th, 2014.     3:40 am.

Knowing you could be gone at any minute

Should make your life all the more thrilling by the second


9:16pm mon,  15 june. 2015.

Had taken a left

But would have lead to my death

Jumped to the right

But no truth in sight

Have been roaming ever since

On this swirling staircase

Unseen bends ahead

Untold memories yet to be remembered

I Am not lost

But yet i am somewhat afraid

Of if the right step**

would be made.

10:46 pm Tuesday, 5th, July, 2016.

I am
clothed but yet ,
Naked.
I bare witness,
To everything.
But yet,
I recall nothing.

Who am I?
Who am I looking at?
Tahirih
And who are you?
I am pure
I am good,
My name said so.

25-february-2016

After the false promises, disappointment...

I am finally starting..

This Unwantedly feeling..

No girl can be princess...

But only a warrior!

Struggling Or not

She must fight her own battles!

And perhaps never waltz
with her true Prince Charming.


11:06 pm.Tuesday, 5th , July, 2016.

The angel of death embraces us all
One specific day
He comes to collect each and everyone
Destined to be the end of us all
That is-The end of the current physical form we are in
Not the eternal end
For we all go on
Perhaps to another realm
Or we remain in deep sleep for judgement
Maybe our spirit or soul Is instructed to Attach itself
to a new upcoming life
To get a second chance
Or merely to feel a different life
Have varied experiences
In the form of bird, a tree, a speck of dust,
a drop of rain, a tiny pebble, a ray of light,
a smudge of mud,
For there is life in everything
How is there life in even a stone?
For the Supreme Lord made ALL
It is all an illusion under his sway
He created all
so this means all is in him and in him all
We must see God in everything
Living or non living
Animate or inanimate
Moving or stagnant
In air, land or sea.

From the beginning
It was always known and told to us all
That death WILL come.
It's the natural ending season of a phase we called being 'alive'
The winter season if you may
But we must be certain that it is not the permanent end
Some other step comes
only seen to the departed
Some other form it takes
Where it exists or just waits
Death is absolute that it will happen.
But it is not the absolute end.
It is simply a parting.
A farewell
A goodbye
To the face you see that soul as.
Goodbye dear soul
May your next journey be one of light, peace, love,
joy, eternal bliss and comfort.
Travel safe.
Farewell.

25th May  2015  9:38am

You can* falsely call an apple a grape,

           can say the inside is silver and that it’s poisonous,

           can assume that the apple is bitter,

           can paint the apple blue,

           can believe that the apple could make you fly

You can talk about it all you like...


It doesn't change the true nature of the apple now, does it?

                                                                                        - March, 3rd, 2014.  4:29 pm.

Quite An unappealing cover
But such great content
Teaches you more than you bargained for
Sparks Inquisition
Holds your interest
You want to get to the bottom of it
You shall read it again
And scope for information you overlooked
-says the ugly book about itself

Quite an attractive cover
Content subjective
Entertains you well
Such amusement
A jolly good read
Can be read so fast
All information easily grasped
No need to be reread
Once was all enough
Time to search for a new book
-says the ugly book about the attractive one*

Eye-catching cover
Content?
What content?
Pages so smooth
Scent so luring
Writing so curvy
Thin book
So simple and easy
Why read anyway?
Just leave on shelf, so pretty!
-says the attractive book about itself



3:21pm Friday 31st July, 2015.