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You shower, shave, and dress up nice
A night out on the town
The boys and you are heading out
Some beer you all will down

HAIR DONE, ON TO MAKE-UP NEXT
DO I LOOK GOOD IN THIS?
I DON'T WANT TO LOOK TOO EASY
IN CASE SOMEONE WANTS A KISS

The bar stools all sit vacant
As the boys arrive at nine
The band is getting started
The beer is cold, that's fine

WE GOT A TABLE IN THE CORNER
WE CAN WATCH THE GUYS AND SEE
IF THERE'S ANYBODY HERE TONIGHT
THAT REALLY INTERESTS ME

You catch the eye of a young girl
Sitting with her group of friends
You bet the boys a beer or two
On how the night will end

YOU SMILE AT THE BROWN EYED MAN
HE LEAVES THE BAR TO COME ACROSS
FROM WHERE YOU SIT HE LOOKS OK
TONIGHT WON'T BE A LOSS

Sitting with four girls  is strange
Trying to separate the herd
Three get up to dance although
You can't hear a single word

HE TAKES THE TIME TO TALK TO ME
I LIKE THE WAY HE THINKS
HE EVEN ASKED THE OTHER GIRLS
AND THEN HE ORDERED DRINKS

The game goes on between these two
As the night comes to an end
He sidles up to his buddies and
He talks of his new friend

PLANS ARE MADE TO MEET AGAIN
HE'S TOO SHY TO MAKE A PASS
HE'S NOT THE KIND TO KISS ME OFF
THIS ONE HAS GOT SOME CLASS

Weeks go by, with many dates
Both with friends and you alone
At some point the relationship
Takes on a different tone

I'VE BEEN HURT ON SOME OCCASIONS
BUT, WITH HIM, I FEEL A CHANGE
I THINK I MAY JUST LOVE HIM
WHEN HE'S NEAR I FEEL REAL STRANGE

She listens to my stories and
Laughs when jokes are bad
She makes me feel so special
It's a feeling I've not had

WHEN DID THE HEART TAKE OVER?
When did the "Me" become a "We"?
When was the "M" inverted?
I think a couple we will be

This tale goes on each evening
In restaurants and in cars
The night has no expectations
And in the end you're counting stars

At some point you will notice
As your friends move to the back
That true love comes without notice
As being single fades to black.....
This is an expanded version of my 2020 piece "A Ghost Story".

The Ballad of the Nell McBride (Expanded)

We all have heard the stories
Of spirit ships and ghosts
That sail upon the oceans
And up along the coasts

This tale is a whopper
And I'll not forget the day
So as God is my witness
Listen now, to what I say

We were sitting in the tavern
Telling tales of days of old
When the door, it burst wide open
And Bill came running from the cold

His face as white as ever
Like he just had seen a ghost
When we told him that we thought this
He said, "I did, just up the coast"

We laughed and ordered whiskey
To warm us up inside
"I did, by gum, I saw it—
I saw the Nell McBride"

"There's no way that you saw that boat
It's been sunk a hundred years!"
"A hundred sixty," said a voice
As we tended to our beers

"The Nell McBride was lost, boys
Late eighteen and fifty-nine
You didn't see her, Billy
She's sunk down in the brine"

"I did," said Bill, "I saw her—
I was standing on the beach
She came out of the clouds there"
"Aw, Bill... cut back on the screech"

"I haven't had a drop today
And you know, I don't tell lies
I saw the Captain up on deck
I looked right in his eyes"

The wind was really howling
We all huddled round the fire
As far-fetched as the story was
Old Bill, he was no liar

"The Nell McBride was lost at sea
All fourteen men were drowned
The ship went to the bottom
And no bodies were found"

The barkeep chirped, "We have ghosts here
I've seen a few, I swear
With all those lost at sea near here
I believe they still sail there"

We laughed at him and Billy
"Ghosts? Nope, dead is dead"
But Bill just sat there shaking
He believed the words he'd said

Now me, I was a pup then
Just a minnow, if you please
But I sat and felt my hair rise up
I'd not heard of ghosts like these

"The last time the Nell McBride
Was seen was in aught-four
Old Johnson, at the lighthouse
Said he saw that ship and more"

"They proved Old Johnson crazy
All alone out with the light
‘Twas just the moon a-playing
There was nothing there that night"

Another man chimed in then,
"Old Johnson was no loon
His diary says he saw that ship
'Twas no trick of the moon"

"Okay then boys, tomorrow
We'll meet here and head on out
We'll see the ghost ship sailing
Or we'll see that she is now't"

The wind was really whipping
It was louder than a train
Nobody made a move to leave
They feared the dark, the rain

"Ghost ships sail the waters
I believe to warn us still
I believe the Nell is out there
I believe in our boy Bill"

"There's tales of ships and mermaids
There's been sightings of great whales
Their stories, boys—just stories
They ain't nothing more than tales"

At this the wind was screaming
Like a wail now or a scream
My skin turned cold, my breath stood still—
This could only be a dream

"I remember when Mike Watson
Said he saw that woman black
Standing on her rooftop
Waiting for her man come back"

"I remember that as well," said Bill
"God, old Mike, he loved to talk
He saw her up there weeping
On the iron widow's walk"

So tomorrow it was settled
We would meet and hit the shore
We'd watch for ghostly sailors
And the Nell McBride once more

"Boys, we never made it
We don't talk about that night
See, Billy boy, he left us there
Then vanished out of sight"

"Turns out Billy Boyle
Drowned early in the day
Was it his ghost come calling?
It is not for us to say"

"Bill Boyle washed ashore, you see
Around two, cold and dead
So who it was came through that door
And said the things he said?"

There's ghosts out on the water
Like the ghostly Nell McBride
I swear and cross my heart now
But boys… you must decide

Some say she sails at moonrise
When the tide is running high
With phantom sails a-glowing
And a captain’s hollow cry

And some still hear old Billy
At the tavern, clear as glass
Recounting what he witnessed
As if time refused to pass

So if you walk the shoreline
And the sea begins to moan
Take heed, my friend, and mark my words:
You may not be alone

We all have heard the stories
Of the haunted and the drowned
Of those who sail forever
And are never homeward bound
---

The Ballad of the Northern Land
(A Folk Song for Canada)


---

1
In eighteen hundred twelve, the cannons roared,
A young land stood with sword and board,
With Brock at Queenston, brave and true,
And Laura Secord carried through.


---

2
She walked the woods with silent tread,
To warn of plans the redcoats dread.
A whisper passed from tree to tree—
The roots of freedom run deep and free.


---

3
The fur trade waned, the forests called,
From Hudson Bay to Montreal,
With voyageurs and bark canoe,
The rivers told what we once knew.


---

4
Then westward ran the iron rail,
Through mountain mist and snow-blind gale.
The hammer rang, the spike was gold—
A ribbon tied to dreams grown bold.


---

5
Macdonald raised the nation’s spine,
A thread through rock and timberline.
While on Red River’s silent shore,
Louis Riel cried out for more.


---

6
A voice for those the Crown forgot,
For Métis lands and lives they bought.
He stood his ground, then stood alone—
A noose was tied where peace had grown.


---

7
The fisheries fed the east coast pride,
With cod and salt and ocean tide.
But quotas came, the stocks grew thin,
And storms rolled in again, again.


---

8
In muddy fields of Vimy Ridge,
Our boys held fast, then crossed the bridge.
A maple leaf in foreign mud—
A nation born in fire and blood.


---

9
The Great Depression struck like steel,
The hungry lined from mill to mill.
Yet fiddle tunes and kitchen light
Kept hopes alive through blackest night.


---

10
Then once again the war drums rolled,
And Halifax lit up with coal.
From Dieppe’s shores to Ortona’s walls,
Our fallen sons still hear the calls.


---

11
The UN flag flew proud and high,
In Egypt’s dust or Korea’s sky.
We kept the peace where others ran—
A gentle voice, a steady hand.


---

12
Joey Smallwood’s island dream,
Brought Newfoundland to the Canadian team.
With boats and boots and outport pride,
They joined the fold with hearts wide-eyed.


---

13
The sixties roared with Expo's flame,
And Trudeau rose to bold acclaim.
He danced through question, law, and line—
"Just watch me" echoed down through time.


---

14
But darker days in Montreal,
The FLQ made its grim call.
A poet died, a country strained,
And civil peace was barely gained.


---

15
The Charter came, a bright new page,
For rights to last through any age.
With Meech Lake lost and voices torn,
Quebec still sang both proud and worn.


---

16
The Arctic called with melting ice,
The North awoke with warming price.
Inuit lands and northern skies
Looked south and asked for just replies.


---

17
The Red River rose, the floods came fast,
But neighbours stood and held the blast.
From Winnipeg to Cape Breton shore,
We lifted each, we built once more.


---

18
The loonie soared, then took a dive,
But still we worked, we still survived.
With oil and grain, with snow and stone,
The land was wide, but not alone.


---

19
The Mounties rode in scarlet pride,
Their legacy both hailed and tried.
For truths long buried came to light—
The past would haunt the quiet night.


---

20
The schools of pain, the stolen years,
The calls for truth, the flood of tears.
Orange shirts and empty shoes—
A nation learning, slow to choose.


---

21
The towers fell, the world turned cold,
And Canada stood firm and bold.
We welcomed many through our door,
Each voice now part of something more.


---

22
With wildfire smoke and floods and drought,
The earth cried out with rising shout.
Yet turbines turned and green grew near—
The North still finds a way to steer.


---

23
A virus came, the world went still,
But kindness climbed the highest hill.
We sang from porches, masked and far—
Still stitched beneath the northern star.


---

24
Now comes a time both rough and wide,
With truth and tech and clashing pride.
But still we build, and still we try—
With steady hearts beneath the sky.


---

25
From battle’s smoke to silent snow,
From one small spark the tall flames grow.
O Canada, still rough, still grand—
We write your song with calloused hand.
We're singing songs
and making music
every single night
Singing songs
and playing music
Until we get it right

Working hard
to fill the silence
Singing just for you
Learning songs
You want to hear
We do it just for you

Spending time away from home
On the road we go
Setting up in different towns
To do another show
Sacrificing along the way
To do this all for you
On the road we go again
To do another show that's new

Playing bars
and different clubs
In towns and cities too
Places that
We only see
From the stage in front of you

Puppets on a
wooden stage
to a room that's almost filled
Pulling songs
Out of a hat
And leaving you all thrilled

Spending time away from home
On the road we go
Setting up in different towns
To do another show
Sacrificing along the way
To do this all for you
On the road we go again
To do another show that's new
I tried to write an epic
Like those who've come before
It had to grab the reader
It had to leave them wanting more

How to start an epic
I've a line but it's not mine
I  could use it, as have others
I think most will think it's fine

But, it's been used so very often
By writers  we all know
Four words that grab the reader
Four words that make us go

We see these words and wonder
Where will our writer lead
Will we go to foreign countries?
Will we see someone in need?

I'm five verses in now,
I've not even started yet
I think I'll use the four words
They're the best I'm gonna get

So here is my beginning
In the sixth verse, and last line
I guess it's here where I'm beginning....
Once upon a time...
IT
WAS
A
DARK
AND
STORMY
NIGHT...
THANK
YOU
SNOOPY!
Thirty years had passed me by
I was approaching fifty one
For my birthday I thought I would go
to New York and take my son
I'd been there once many years ago
When my boy was not yet born
With his mother gone, I thought it time
To go back there with my son
I checked the web and booked a room
In a hotel that looked real nice
It was just three blocks from Broadway
I guess I should have checked it twice
We flew on in from Michigan
We were set to see some games
We would also go to Broadway
And see some plays with some big names
I should have seen it coming
Problems arising from the start
Our plane was late in leaving
They had crashed the luggage cart
An hour to reload it
Got us off and in the air
With a strong tail wind behind us
The pilot said we'd soon be there
We landed at the airport
Waited forty minutes for our bags
You see, when they loaded us in Detroit
They forgot to fasten all our tags
We went outside to get a cab
We were almost to our stop
We would find the Biltmore Hotel
My young son and me...his pop
We told the taxi driver
To the Biltmore Hotel please
He said "Sir, are you certain"
"They've had bed bugs and there's fleas"
"I checked it on the internet"
"It looked nice and was cheap"
The driver said "OK Sir,"
"But, the Biltmore...it's a heap!"
I thought a bit, but said...."come on"
"It cannot be that bad"
But as we pulled of Broadway
The neighborhood looked quite sad
The street was dark and nondescript
there was no one to be found
Except for idle yelling
You could not hear a sound
Windows were all boarded up
The farther we went east
I thought, for thugs and hoodlums
this street would yield a feast
I thought the cabbie might be right
A new hotel we'd get
But, I still had not decided
Even though the streeted was quite the threat
The sign outside the hotel
Was burned out in some spots
But, I guess from our reaction
We both deserved what we had got
I told the cabbie, do not stop
Just floor it and we'll go
The sign outside the Biltmore
lit up as "BI T MO **"
I wasn't gonna stay there
We went back and made it quick
Just looking at the Biltomre
Well, it really made me sick
I learned one thing this trip
Next time, I'll call ahead
And won't book at the "BIT MO **"
For I might just wake up dead.
The Street is pretty empty
Just the locals out tonight
It's New Year's Eve and chilly
Seems this time, that all is right

No drunken revelers on the Street
All the buildings are shut tight
Except the bar and Gianni's place
On the Street, that's just alright

The Blues Man sits out back right now
And he's looking at the moon
No fireworks, or crystal *****
Say the New Year's coming soon

He coughs a bit, a little harsh
Grabs his medcin, and guitar
then he gently starts to playing
Looking at a single star

There's a few folks in Giannis
Watching the ball drop on tv
The bar is full of locals
Where the New Year's shots are free

But out back of Gianni's
The Blues Man sits in peace
Singing gently to the midnight sky
Sitting besides the drums of grease

This year he found his daughter
Memories of years gone by
And he sings tales of their meeting
To the chilly, midnight sky

His daughter is his lodestone
She keeps him grounded, always did
No matter where he ventured
He always loved his missing kid

She's drinking at the bar now
While The Blues Man sits out back
Singing tunes in Winter Darkness
He lets us in...but just a crack

The door behind Gianni's
Is open, just a bit
It's open for the Blues Man
To go get warm and sit

But, for now, he sits here playing
As the New Year ventures in
He sings songs about redemption
And he drinks his medcin

An hour in and locals
Leave Gianni's and the bar
They venture to the alley
Where he's playing to that star

They join him in silence
Hear his prayer for the year new
They are swept up in his magic
And let him do what he must do

He smiles and keeps on singing
Fills the night air with his voice
For no matter how his life is
He only had one choice

He's the Blues Man, always will be
He's the teller of the tales
He sings songs out in the alley
He's the wind in the Street's sails

He finishes his last song
His daughter standing, smiling wide
She gives him a kiss upon his forehead
And she ushers him aside

He'll wake up again tomorrow
In the alley, cold but free
That's the life of The Street Blues Man
And that's the way ...that it should be.
It was time for celebration
Thanksgiving weekend was now here
A time for food and football
A time for love and prayer

In front of old Gianni's
The parade was marching by
But, way back in the alley
Someone was singing to the sky

The Blues man sat and pondered
As he sometimes chose to do
Of his songs and of his music
That really reached too few

The parade was full of bluster
High School Bands and all that stuff
While out back of Old Gianni's
The Blues man had it rough

But, he sang songs of Thanksgiving
To the Lord, and to the sky
He was praising all worlds beings
Though no body did pass by

He sang "Glory, Glory, Glory"
He sang "Allehlujah " too
Even though he sat with no one
The Blues man wasn't blue

Back door opened slowly
As the parade was winding down
People from The Street
Were slowly coming round

The Blues man didn't notice
Singing on without a break
Singing songs of praise and glory
With just the sounds that he could make

Then all at once he looked out
Saw the quickly gathered throng
He changed what he was playing
And he broke into a song

The Blues man started Christmas
Singing of a Christmas Tree
And of a long ago soft Silent Night
And the entire show was free

He didn't sing of presents
He didn't sing of our excess
He sang Christmas Hymns of long ago
When we all gave thanks for less

The Blues man had his medcin'
Drank a bit, and sang some more
Then he started slowing down
When she came out from her back door

The woman with the used book place
Stood silent, listening with this cast
Of The Street owners and people
On who life had given up so fast

She walked up to The Blues man
Through the crowd to where he was
And she started singing with him
Which made the Blues man pause

He knew he'd heard this voice before
Back when people knew his name
It was older and some shaky
But, the voice it was the same

The woman looked down at him
Gave a smile, shed a tear
Then she said "It's me dad"
"It's no dream...I am here"

The Blues man kept on playing
For two hours more or so
When the weather, not the people
Put an end to this mans show

Another past Thanksgiving
Was still playing in his mind
But, The Blues man and his daughter
Had a life they had to find

No one heard her say it
Just The Blues man, as he sang
This was the start of a new story
As bells of Thanksgiving loudly rang
The word was out around the street
Tonight, behind Giannis bar
There would be really something special
From the bluesman and his guitar

For locals not for punters
Just for those upon the street
You'd better bring a lawn chair
If you wanted a good seat

The word spread fast and no one
Would miss this once they heard
New works from the bluesman
You had to take in every word

The bluesman was a legend
In this flawed, dark part of town
He only played back in the alley
That was where his show went down

At precisely eleven seventeen
The bluesman took his place
Upon his beat up orange crate
In his same familiar space

It was just like a cathedral
Underneath the golden moon
Quiet and forboding
As he started his first tune

The alley was the bluesmans church
As he sang to the street people
But this church had no walls or pews
No bells, it had no steeple

The bluesman sang of love and loss
Of dragons, ships and gin
He sang of Shubert, Bach and Liszt
He sang of constant sin

He looked but he saw no one
He was zoning, all alone
He sang songs of faith and hunger
Time to give the dog a bone

He played and drank his med-cin
For sometimes he got dry
The bluesman had the crowd entrapped
Beneath the shining moonlit sky

He talked of how his smoking
Through the years gave him his sound
It only took me fifty years
I'm surprised I'm still around

He sang of love and window panes
Of jealousy and trust
Of walruses and potholes
Of people turned to dust

As people sat in wonder
Of this prophet in disguise
You could see a certain twinkle
Deep in the bluesmans eyes

Gianni, stood off to the side
Timekeeper of the show
He signalled to the bluesman
One more and we must go

He had to close the restaurant
Turn the lights off in the back
So the bluesman took another sip
And grabbed a song from his minds pack

He finished up with something
Singing songs for all who came
He made them feel it was their heartsong
Although he never said a name

He sang of waitresses and barkeeps
Pawn brokers and of guests
of family and train tracks
of watchers and of quests

He finished up and packed away
His crate and his guitar
And he collected appreciation
In a two quart mason jar

The crowd left thirty dollars
almost ninety cents a seat
A fortune to the bluesman
And the folks here on the street
I was banging out some music
When from the dark I heard a voice
Son, if you want to make a living
Then you gotta make a choice
I heard what you was playing
That was music, not just noise
Son, you wanna make a living
You gotta make your choice

Son, pass me that there  growler
Over in the corner
Don't drop it, you'll be sorry if you do
It'll burn on through the florboards
It'll burn right on through to China
It's a wicked drink, A nasty witches brew

He said, I know you is the cleaner
You clean up when night is done
But, I've heard you from the alley
You're a bullet, shy one gun

Kid, you play piano like it ain't been played before
You're wasting your **** time in here cleaning up the floor
There's a whole world out there waiting, just go on through the door
Oh...they call me The Bluesman....before I say much more

I played some boogie woogie
something light just to begin
He said, boy...get that growler
I need some med-i-sin
He pulled up close beside me
Rubbed his face and scratched his chin
Now, follow close young player
The lesson will begin

We played for near five hours
Didn't hear the storm outside
We played what struck his fancy
We told stories, we both lied
He played that guitar so  smoothly
With the strings so loosely tied
He brought things out from deep within me
Stripped bare, nowhere to hide

You got to feel the music
Not just play it to get paid
You got to let it lead you
You got to know why it was made
The folks who made this music
From the normal line had strayed
You got to feel the music
Play it right, you may get laid

He drank most of the growler
said, son, now I need to rest
I've heard bluesman all around here
And I'd say you're second best
There only is one bluesman
And then he puffed his chest
You met him, and he taught you
It's up to you to do the rest

I finished with my cleaning
Heard him leave and go out back
Then I heard the whistle
Of the train, pass on the track
I had to choose the music
Be a bluesman, not a hack
I learned that  in five hours
I'd learn more when he came back
The 787 Dreamliners
tickets sold but not going
Would you really get aboard
a plane whose name is "Boing"?

Because of counterfeit parts
There are no Dreamliner flights
There is also a new rumour
That the crew is scared of heights

There are only a few airports
Where the Dreamliner resides
The rest have too short runways
Though they all are extra wide

I am sure that in the future
They will resolve the growing pains
And that the Boeing 787
Will fly high above the "planes"
Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the hoard,
Of all their gifts from yesterday, they are already bored
But here they come a'shopping for they think that they need more
The hoard keeps marching on!

Geez, I'm glad I don't work retail
Geez, I'm glad I don't work retail
It would be like being in hell
I'm glad that I am home

It's boxing day at Wal-mart and the time is getting near
For people to come shopping with the ones they love so dear
By three o'clock they're fighting and their wishing for a beer
The hoard keeps marching on

(chourus)

The returns desk is not open and the crowd is getting mad
They're all returning presents that they got for mum and dad
They all are saying this year is the worst they've ever had
The hoard keeps marching on

(chorus)

The deals, they are exceptional, in fact they're really great
The things you bought for 90 bucks, today they sell for 8
If you find one that fits perfectly, you chalk it up to fate
The hoard keeps marching on.

(chorus)

I sit at home and laught about the people at the sales
And cringe and drink more alcohol when I think about their tales
Of how they fought the crowds off just to buy a box of nails
The hoard keeps marching on

(chorus)

It seems to me that Christmas now is on the twenty sixth
That the story about Jesus is no more than just a myth
My tongue is numb from drinking and I really need a kith
The hoard keeps marching on.

Glory, Glory Hallelujah
Glory, Glory Hallelujah
Glory, Glory Hallelujah
I'm glad that I stayed home!!
There's a box down in my basement
It's not hidden far away
It's a box that's full of history
things from, well....another day
It sits there like a statue
Never opened, all forlorn
Holding pictures and their secrets
from a time when I weren't born
It's blue with brass side stapping
It takes up two cubic feet
It just sits there in the corner
Yelling...OPEN ME....but, be discreet
Love letters and photos
unfinished projects from the past
Newspaper announcements
Lots of things you want to last
It's a box that is worth sharing
Stories living in a box
It sits there closed and oh, forgotten
It sits there closed, there are no locks
There's few around who've seen the contents
Even less who know the names
Of people in all the pictures
It's not just sad, it is a shame
The box is full of untold stories
A love story that should be heard
It's written in two lovers writing
No need to translate, not a word
It is the tale of two fine people
Parents of my wife, they say
This box tells of Margaret and Charlie
They both are gone, before this day
It's musty when you smell it
But, isn't that how things should be
There's school reports and lockets
A father lost when she was three
I think of them when I look at it
Artifacts stored for none to see
I never met them, but I miss them
They'd be proud of who she came to be
this box is Megan's life force
It helped make her strong and proud
It shows she is an Edwards
The contents scream it really loud
there is a box down in my basement
It' a box of writing, reams and reams
I look forward to our meeting
One quiet night inside my dreams
The people who filled up the inside
Are my family, though we've not met
I'd like to take this chance to tell them
Their girl is safe, they need not fret.
This is not fictional. The box does exist in my..OUR basement. Megan is my wife and the daughter of Charlie and Margaret. Charlie passed away when Megan was three years old and Margaret, when Megan was fifteen. They would surely be proud of her, as I am.....now, where to move this box?
I was one drink in on Friday night
I heard the church bells 'cross the square
When the barkeep signalled next one's free
And to me, this was quite rare

There was Billy, me, two drunks and Sue
and a waitress name of Shirley
She said "that bell just rang on sixteen times"
I said "that means it's early"

the bell rang on four days one time
found a cat locked in the tower
sister mary nice as pie
thought our bell had found the power

she ran through town spouting off
how Christ has come again
when it was a 42 pound tabby cat
making out like old big ben

the pastor ran to city hall
you see he'd lost his keys
someone had to stop that noise
made by a fat cat full of fleas

fourteen rings meant two o'clock
fifteen meant half eight
eleven meant eleven and
twenty one meant you were late

it hadn't rung for fifteen years
then the new pastor came to town
I never really trusted him
he wore a smile, not a frown

i'm here to bring the church to you
i'm a pastor of the people
I laughed when I heard him say this
I wasn't going near his steeple

the church had been built catholic
turned Lutheran for a bit
United, Pentecostal too
And then the Baptist group bought it

they had a real fine choir
did great shows, and fixed the bell
it hasn't rung right since that day
Now the Baptists left as well

They run a new age service now
you know, electric candles and fake wine
confession is a long dead ghost
and you get penance points on line

they don't hold service Sunday's
the pastor, he sleeps in
they pray together through the week
and to me that is a sin

the bells go off eight times a day
sometimes nine, or even more
they keep the pigeons from the square
and shake the paint right off the door

I sit and worship faithfully
at the bar, with my drunk friends
with some cotton ***** for our poor ears
to use until the **** bell ends

i'm one drink past the last one
we've bet on how many times the bell
will ring in the next hour
you can never really tell

For now, i'll stay here drinking
with the gang here and the cat
he's deaf as any post you'll see
but he's still near twice as fat

he can't hear the bell's loud ringing
oh.....twenty three...this one's on me
maybe next time will ring sixteen more
and i'll get another beer for free.
for "gonzo'
Time for an adventure,
3 a.m. and raining
Sitting in my FUBU hoodie
My brain was really straining
To keep awake until the bus
Pulled into Detroit Station
So I could start my trip across
This once great and mighty nation
I wasn't there alone this night
Others dozed and slept
Some just sat there silently
While some just sat and wept
I looked at those around me
Who had assembled for this ride
I hoped we would get along
When in walked a young bride
She was dressed in white from head to feet
Her veil was ripped and torn
Behind the ruined makeup
You could see her face was worn
No groom came in, she was alone
She changed, sat, made no fuss
It was almost one more hour
Before we finally saw our bus
A Greyhound, drab and dreary
Pulled up at our loading door
They announced "210 to Vegas"
And they didn't say no more
Most people fly when heading there
They want to get there and get home
Our band of silent travellers
Wanted to just get out and roam
They loaded up our cases
I just had a backpack, that
I was gonna take on board and
Just load it where I sat
They said fifteen more minutes
They would have to fill with fuel
At this point I made contact
With a man....to have a duel
He was sitting right across from me
He had a ball out, on his knees
He was tossing it into the air
So...I brought out my keys
He tossed it up and caught it
So, with my keys I did the same
He smiled and flipped it to his left
and with my keys I played his game
He moved it round from hand to hand
Made it hover in mid air
He did it all so gracefully
I did the same with out a care
His ball, my keys...time slipping by
Just then he gave a smile
He bounced the ball upon the floor
He had beat my by a mile
I nodded, slipped my keys away
I'd been outdone through and through
By a man with a red rubber ball
What else was there to do?
We lodaded up and took our seats
The crowd was pretty thin
With the lights low on inside the bus
It was looking rather dim
The married folks and partners
paired up in seats as pairs
The singles spread out randomly
As they collected up our fares
Vegas, was our hallowed ground
The final destination for us all
Then on the station P.A
they made the final loading call
Thirty three hours was the time
We'd take to drive
Give or take some time for food stops
We'd all get there safe, alive
We hit the road directly
My adventure had begun
It was still dark in the distance
We were driving towards the sun
Across the aisle all alone
An old lady sat and wrote
She was trying to get comfortable
She was wrapped up in her coat
The seat behind me, vacant
I was grateful for this fact
It afforded me the space so I
Could put my seat right back
With the blind pulled down,
I tried to sleep, at last I drifted off
There was the sound of the bus motor
And of the occasional, dry, hoarse cough
I heard music in my head at first
So I thought it was a dream
It turned out to be a radio
Owned by our runaway, bridal queen
she sat two rows down and to my left
She had changed into some jeans, and shirt
She had one ear plug in, one out
You could see how she did hurt
I got up, stretched, went to the back
I'd freshen up and have a ***
As I walked I felt so ill at ease
As all eyes followed me
The back two seats were occupied
by  two nuns, one old, one not
The smiled as I came near them
I smiled back, and then I thought
This cast of wayward characters
Was not at all like those
That were portrayed in "Homeward Bound"
The song most folkies all shoud know
On my way back I noticed a man
Reading, or at least that's how it looked
I saw no print upon his page
No letters in his book
I stood and watched, his fingers flew
Like they were moving on a rail
Then I realized that he was blind
And his book was all in braile
I stood there in amazement
At this sight that I'd just seen
Then I chuckled at the cover
From an old ******* Magazine
We pulled into a diner
We'd been out for nine hours now
We had an hour to ourselves
Time to change and get some chow
Most folks sat as they had come
In pairs or all alone
Some went out for a ciggy
One old man went to the phone
We all made sure to void ourselves
Before we got  on board
For the smell from eighteen greasy meals
would test the nuns faith in our lord
The background noise was louder
Than it had been at the start
We were eighteen lonely travellers
Travelling together, but apart
A father and his daughter
Played "eye spy" and sang some songs
They played "license plate bingo"
Most lyrics they got wrong
The old lady across the aisle
was watching, intently like a hawk
She was scratching things inside her book
You'd expect her just to squak
The man who had the ball sat
Alone, said not a word
I walked by and said "good morning"
But I don't think he heard
He sat there, still not moving
staring out the window at the world
He was taking in the movie
Of our trip as it unfurled
The trip was uneventful
It went on mostly the same
People reading, people watching
Father, daughter and their games
The driver pointed out some stuff
As we passed by on the way
"To the left you'll find the largest
ball of string made to this day"
He pointed out old houses,
Fields of battle, lost and won
Just a couple took real notice
Most wished the trip was done
A repeat after five more hours
A new driver came on board
She was blond, blue eyed and beautiful
Inside, my heart just soared
In my imagination
She would pick me from the crowd
When we made it to Las Vegas
I would go with her, I'd be proud
But, she sat there pointing out the sights
Like her predecessor had
My fantasy went up in smoke
It was really kind of sad
We ventured on till Vegas
getting off to eat and then
We would all repeat our actions
And get back and sleep again
It was quiet for the most part
Most folks waiting for the end
When we came out of the mountains
We could see the strip around the bend
"Ten minutes till Las Vegas"
our blond driver told us all
Make sure you've your belongings
I looked at the man who had the ball
He smiled tossed it in the air
I tossed my keys just one more time
In a way, we had a friendship
In a way , it was a crime
We had one thing in common
It would stick with me for good
It would always make me smile
And a smile's always good
We pulled up into the station
We were all tired from the ride
Most grabbed their extra luggage
I grabbed mine and went inside
There, I went up to the window
Bought another ticket, heading east
Turned and bumped into a fellow
He was a slight, buy friendly priest
"I'm heading to Detroit, my son"
"Where is it you're off to"
"I'm just off on an adventure"
"I think I'll go back there with you"
He smiled, opened his bible
We had three hours still to wait
Before our bus was ready to go back
Across the United States
You might ask yourself, why do this?
Why go back and not take time
To see the city that I'd come to
It just seems so sublime
to me the whole adventure
Isn't in the place I go
The adventure is the people
Each trips a brand new show
The cities that I visit
Really never, ever change
But the people....oh the people
Man, some are really strange
If you now would please excuse me
I must go and change my clothes
For I'm off on adventure
How it turns out...no one knows.
this one is a long one, so sit down, grab a beer....and come away on a bus trip from Detroit to Las Vegas.
There's a candle burning nightly
In the window, on the right
The house has long been empty
But, the candle's there each night
The house in old and ancient
I'm sure it has tales it needs to tell
Like, why the candle's burning
And why the house won't sell

The candle shows up daily
As soon as dusk begins to fall
The drapes are drawn so closely
In each room along the hall
But, in that lonely window
Burns a candle all can see
It's been burning there each evening
Since nineteen forty three

They say the house is haunted
After all, the candle is a clue
Someone lights it nightly
The question asked is who?
The house has been abandoned
No one lives there any more
They say the last survivor
Left in nineteen forty four

The story is as follows
If I get my rumours straight
The house was built around
The year eighteen eighty eight
The family that did own it
When the candle came to light
Were wealthy, and reclusive
And they all kept out of sight

The story goes, their oldest son
Signed up and went to war
He was a pilot in the air force
He shot down 15 planes or more
He was shot down on a mission
But  his plane was never found
They never found the wreckage
Where it crashed into the ground

The candle started burning
The day the message came
It's always burning in the window
It's always lit, it's all the same
The candle shows when it is dusk
It goes out just past three
No one knows who lights it
There's no one there to see

Is the candle lit by spirits
Waiting for a missing son
Is it lit to help pass over
To make his journey done
No one knows the exact story
If the plane crashed and he died
But, even in the daylight
People don't pass by on this side

The house is an enigma
Is a ghost there waiting for
A son to come home to them
Marching through the old front door
All I know is that the candle
Has been lit for 60 years
And there's a ghost up there just waiting
Crying quiet , ghostly tears
He sat all alone, drinking jim beam and coke

Looking out as the waves crashed ashore

He kept to himself, drinking jim beam and coke

As the storm winds would batter the door

He'd only come in when the weather was rough

Sitting alone, drinking Jim Beam and coke

Looking out at the waves never saying a word

Just this man and his Jim Beam and coke

He'd lived all his life in this sea faring town

Working ships from the time he was ten

He grew up real fast on the high roiling seas

Doing work that was best left for men

His father had run a small fleet of five

Chasing cod up the Grand Banks each year

But as cod stocks declined and the fishing died out

His old man sold off his old gear

One boat was left, a shrimper, it was

It was christened the "Bain of my Life"

It was a jab at his job, but as his dad liked to say

"I named the **** boat for me wife!"

They ran this old boat till the paint was worn off

Fixing nets, running traps and old lines

Catching shrimp, heading home....and time after time

Getting soaked in the stormy old brine

He sat in the bar looking out as the waves

Grew and intensified more

With his Jim Beam and Coke, looking out to the sea

And dried peanut shells crushed on the floor

When the fair weather came, he was never about

He was down by the ships holding court

For as sea farers go and tellers of tale

He was the best one they had in this port

He told of the time that their boat had been hit

By a wave twice as tall as the ship

But his dad kept her up, and they only lost pots

And the "Bain" proved she couldn't be flipped

On fair weather days he would  start out his day

At the Church of the Maritime Witch

It was a small little bar, serving breakfast till ten

And the bartender there was a *****

At least that's his word to describe Betty Jean

He would call her this name and then grin

For he'd known  Betty Jean for his whole ****** life

She was this old seafarers sister, his twin

She'd run the old bar for about 40 years

Took it on when she lost on a bet

She 's been there ever since and she won't tell a soul

How she lost and why she's never left yet

But, on days like today, she'd shut down the bar

Batten windows and hope for the best

For with 90 knot winds and just plywood and nails

Her bar would be put through a test

So he'd come up here drinking Jim Beam and coke

Watching out to the sea past the break

He watch for the ships coming in from the storm

Seeing just how much sea  they could take

He'd name 40 men who he knew lost their lives

Facing death on the water to fish

But there only was one for  who he'd give up his place

and that was his eternal wish

His son was lost out on the bubbling sea, chasing cod

When they knew there were few

He was out on a ship that was captained by him

and a small, inexperienced crew

His son was swept off by a swell straight from hell

It was two miles long if an inch

He was working the nets when the rogue wave did hi

ttaking his son, two pots and a winch

He'd spent fifteen years searching daily for him

His body had never been found

Davy Jones held it fast in the depths of the sea

To which his sons soul forever was bound

He gave up his search and he never went back

Never fished for a shrimp or a cod

He'd just sit on the dock watching out at the waves

Praying silently this prayer to God

"Please give me my son, so I can bury him whole"

"Let him surface so he can find peace"

"I only ask this, for my sister and me"

"And for his daughter, my dear little niece"

"We've waited for years for a sign...even small"

"Just to show us that your job is done"

"I'll never go out on the water again"

"Regardless of how strong they run"

"I ask you dear Lord, for his body to see"

"So we can consecrate him back to the earth"

"This is all I ask, and I will ask no more"

"Just how much is my dear son's life worth"

With an amen and a smoke to finish it off

He'd head back to his sisters to sit

He'd drink Jim Beam and coke till "the *****" sent him home

With a hug and a kis and a "***"!

But on days like today he'd watch waves crash ashore

Hoping no more were lost to the sea

Drinking Jim Beam and coke, sittling all on his own

Wishing God would set his son free

If you're down by the docks when the weather is fine

Look for him and he'll tell you a tale

But don't ask about that terrible night

When he lost his young son to a swale
The bar was deserted
But for The Captain and me
I was tending the bar
He was watching the sea
The North Wind was 'a howlin'
As the door opened wide
It was The North Wind just checkin'
To see who's inside

The Captain, was quiet looking out at the sea
He said on days like today, that is no place to be
She'll swallow you whole
Take your ship in one gulp
Crush all your riggings
And make the rest into pulp
When she opens her maw
The Sea don't care who
Is there for the taking
It's just what she do

I ventured on over
A fresh glass, with some ice
He said "what took you?"
I said ..."now, be nice"
"With weather like this"
"There's leaks front and back"
"And if I don't mop them up"
"Then I will get the sack"

He smiled as he drank up
One gulp and all done
He used to come here
With his grandson and son
But, that story is longer
And a good one to know
But, today, t'was just him
And he was rarin' to go

"The Sea is a monster, you can be sure of that"
"That's a fact I am saying, as sure as I'm sat"
"She'll swat you down hard, like a little old gnat"
"And to her it'll be nothing more than a pat"
"To Davy Jones Locker, she'll take you today"
"And once you are down there, in the locker you'll stay"
"A witch like the Ocean, she doesn't half play"
"When the water starts talking....you hear what she say!!!"

He swirled round the cubes
Made a noise, looked my way
I was already pouring
His fifth of the day
"Barkeep, be wary"
"The wind is the start"
"It's the voice of the water"
"It'll sure break your heart"
"She'll take what you give her"
"And she'll return you squat"
"Like a big old hard game"
"Of 'x's and noughts"
"She's a powerful mistress"
"And fickle as well"
"But, be on her today"
"And she'll take you to hell"

We sat watching closely
As the storm rattled glass
We both were quite nervous
And we hoped it would pass
The storm  came in early
Two weeks 'fore the season
And we knew out today
That the water'd be freezin'
The Captain dozed off
Facing out to the sea
There was now just the storm
A sleeping Captain....and me.
Every morning while it was dark
He'd wake and pack his boards
With plastic men, his soldiers
To do battle with no swords

He'd put them in his basket
Load them all into the cart
He'd have a tea and bagel
And then, his day would start

He would walk from his apartment
To the park, before the sun
Two miles and a quarter
Just past highway eighty one

There, inside the complex
In the middle of the park
He'd play chess, against all comers
And he'd stay 'till after dark


A prodigy at ten years old
He would beat men three times his age
He would sit there in stunned silence
As they stormed around in rage

A master by his eighteenth year
He hadn't lost on his home ground
He would play and play and nothing else
To the chess board he was bound

Although he had his title
He couldn't leave to play
If he left the country
Then, back home is where'd he stay

He played some competitions
Made his points to climb the list
But, still he kept on thinking
Of the games that he had missed

I saw him in Toronto
Playing for a buck a game
He played against  all comers
The result, always the same

His accent was a harsh one
His beard was slightly rough
With some he'd be a softie
With others, he was gruff

Each day he'd make the journey
Pull his boards down and set off
He'd joke about while playing
And at bad moves he would scoff

"In Russia, they would shoot you"
"If you made a move like that"
Was he lying in the bushes
Should you move or just stand pat?

He moved on down to Yonge Street
When the park land all was sold
No one knew just why it happened
He went there, and it was closed

On a small street down by Eatons
He moved his boards so he could play
He didn't need to walk there now
He could now go by subway

There was more room here for players
To learn at this man's feet
They would line up with their dollars
Knowing full well, they'd be beat

The crowd that came from Yonge street
To see this rock star of the board
Were much different from the park folk
But to this street they poured

College players, bankers
Strippers from the Zanzibar
would come and drop their dollar
Then lose and find a bar

As time went on, his game it changed
He'd take more time for his moves
He would talk more as distraction
And once I saw him lose

His brain was getting fuzzy
Age was now taking a toll
Time, it owned his body
But the board still owned his soul

He'd flirt with the young maidens
Showing cleavage in the sun
One girl even flashed him
Because she thought she'd won

He joked about her actions
Told the crowd that it was nice
He joked that if she showed some more
He'd let her come close twice

As time went on the master
Didn't come downtown each day
He'd stay at home in silence
Downtown was far away

He dreamed of heading home again
But, he knew that couldn't be
Then we saw him on the news one night
On the local CBC

He played downtown for seven years
He last played in 85
He took sick and nearly passed on
Thankfully, the master did survive

His name was Josef Smolij
He was Polish, but we thought
He was Russian from his comments
Made when our bad moves were caught

His absence still is felt there
Gould street it was his space
The area he used to play
Is now called Hacksell Place

He left and went to Europe
Germany became his home
But still down there off Yonge street
The old chess ghosts still roam

I remember playing Smolij
I remember it was hot
I lost and then he told me
"Back in Russia...you'd be shot"

He was 60 when I played him
He'd be 99 or so
I'm glad I got to meet him
The Master known as Joe
based on Josef Smolij, chess player extraordinaire who played first at Allan Park then Gould street in Toronto. He played from 1978 to 1985 downtown. He was a fixture in downtown Toronto. I played him three times, and got beat like a drum each time. The first part is fictional based on fact, then fact at the end.
I am The Christmas Angel that sits atop your tree
No one's seen more Christmases than your Christmas Angel..me!
I've been around since time began and I was at the first
Christmas celebration that has since whetted the thirst
Of nations spread out globally who celebrate the Lord
Remember, I was the one who arrived and did deliver the word.
I represent to many folks a time of Christmas past
Of joy and love and family we all did hope would last
To others, I'm a symbol of the Guardian Angel who
Came down out of the heavens and spread the word anew
I am only what you see in me, I may be just a toy
But to others I'm the messenger who told about a boy
I've seen alot atop this tree, more than just this place
I've seen people fighting for the right to dignify their race
The Lord himself is many things in churches all around
He is not just one icon, there are many to be found
His story is not lost in time, and if I may be so bold
They even say his story is The Greatest Ever Told!
I came down that night to tell the tale to the shepherds in the field
I told them of the little child and how their fate was sealed
I gave them all directions to follow the Brightest Star
For even if they lost it, I will still know where you are
They made their way to Bethlehem months after he was born
But still they followed what I said and arrived one early morn
From where I sit I've  seen some things that just do not make sense
I've seen nations put up blocking walls instead of just a fence
They believe in the same deity but they have a different name
Then they fight for years and die for naught and no one is to blame
Some people do not put an Angel on their tree
They put up stars....or baseball caps....but I still know it's me
I watch the spirit die in homes where Christmas has grown stale
Where greetings are all limited to saying hi by mail
In other homes I've seen the joy that little children gain
They gather round the tree and join in a choral song refrain
For all I've seen and I've seen much, there is no better sight
Than to see our soldiers sleep in peace upon a Christmas night
And through the years there is one thing that I have to ask
That is how in our God's name...did this tree get up my ***?
There's carollers outside my door
With the dreaded Christmas curse
They sing and sing and sing and sing
But, they only sing ONE verse

They ring the bell beforehand
All stand back and start to sing
I'm gonna do some rewire work
So my doorbell does not ring

They're from the church
They're from the school
They can not sing in tune
I can not wait for Boxing Day
I hope it gets here soon

They sing for cans of goodies
They open up their souls
I just wish they'd learn the whole **** song
Or they'd just all shut their holes

They come out every evening
They come out every day
I bet they've never heard a jingle bell
Or even ridden in a sleigh

Now, I like Christmas Choirs
It's not that I'm a Grinch
But, learn the words before you sing
It really is a cinch

It's a partridge in a pear tree
Not a bird stuck in a bush
These two cent hacks are able
To turn the nicest songs to moosh

Just knock and stand back silent
For three minutes, silent stay
Then I'll give you all ten dollars
So you will all just go away
I was working at the Postal Service
Part time, answering letters
When one for Santa caught my eyes
I could make this kids life better
I read the letter, held it close
I couldn't promise gifts and stuff
But, I read the **** thing fifteen times
And at that point, I'd had enough

Dear Santa Claus, the letter read
My name is Katy Green
I hope this Christmas is the best
That you have ever seen
I want to let you know I'm scared
You won't find us Christmas Eve
We are living in a trailer now
But, Santa...I still believe

We lost our house and all our stuff
When we got wiped out by a storm
We had to move to trailer town
And it's not easy keeping warm
There's Mum and Dad, and my sisters
All in this trailer built for two
So don't go where we were last year
No matter what you do

I put the letter in my shirt
Without a second thought
I'd be fired in a heart beat
If I ever did get caught
I went home after work that day
Pulled the letter, showed my spouse
My Christmas gift to them this year
I was gonna find that house

I started calling neighbors
Got my friends involved as well
And told them to get others
As many folks as they could tell
We were in the countries center
They were stuck out on the coast
We were going to bring Christmas
Just like the Holy Ghost

We put the letter in the paper
Gifts came in from shops and stores
I would come home after working
There'd be gifts outside my door
We started out with eight trucks
We figured that would do the trick
Eight trucks led by a madman
By, the way...my name is Nick

We had five days until Christmas
To get this load to where they were
We had toys and clothes and gift cards
We had no frankincense or myrrh
We had trucks just full of tires
In case we broke down on the way
There was nothing that would stop us
We'd be there on Christmas Day

Each city that we passed through
Our convoy grew in size
The police just let us roll on
They could not believe the size
Our line of trucks was bigger than
Any that I'd seen on the road
And each truck was fully packed up
Each one had a full load

The plan was nearly perfect
Two days and we would be there
We would fix up their old house
Where others wouldn't dare
We would not only bring them Christmas
We would give them back their house
And we would do it all in silence
Like that poem and that sleeping mouse

Our convoy found the township
And we did the best we could
We ripped the house asunder
And then rebuilt it with new wood
One letter set this movement
Of Christmas love and cheer
In mothion for one family
That as yet, weren't even here

We put lights up and got ready
Found a tree and made it right
When the gifts were all delivered
The house was quite a sight
We went out to the trailers
Just the drivers and no press
This was our Christmas present
Started by a child...who'd have guessed

I knocked upon the trailer
All the trucks lined up the way
We still had twenty four hours
Until it would be Christmas Day
Katy stood before me
With her mother in the back
I stood waiting on the doorstep
Dressed in red with a large sack

As soon as Katy saw me
She new that Santa Claus was here
That he'd seen her letter
And was here with Christmas Cheer
When her mum saw all the trailers
Lined on both sides of the road
She said to me "Dear Santa"
Where are all the trailers stowed

I told them of the letter
And we got them all outside
It didn't take too much convincing
That we would be going for a ride
When we turned up on their crescent
And we started for their place
Each one of them was crying
Tears were streaming down their face

The house was lit up brightly
The trees were lit up too
The house was their big present
Everything inside was new
The parents stood and wondered
While the kids just went on in
They asked us why we did it
It just took a letter to begin

We made Christmas for this family
We brought a Convoy across the land
Every one who heard about us
Pitched in to lend a hand
We may not quite be Santa
But, we helped him with his load
And next year again at Christmas
There'll be a Convoy on the road
The traditional Christmas Windows of Wonder
Were set to be unveiled at five
This meant to the children and parents
That Santa was set to arrive

Each year on the eve of the annual parade
All the stores in downtown did display
their annual Windows of Wonder
And the town was abuzz all the day

Children staring, windows frosting
Their mouths open wide like their eyes
Christmas was captured in an 8 by 10 box
With gifts piled up to the skies

Christmas presents of every sort
Trees and tinsel, lights and *****
Children staring, frozen stiff
Christmas wishes behind plate glass walls

Parents and children watched the parade
Waiting for Santa to come
In between all the floats, there were still the displays
As the children who all stood there numb

Toys and mechanics, robots and dolls
Trains and race cars on tracks
The children all stared and they dreamed of just how
Santa would get all these gifts in his sack

In the midst of the crowd was a blonde, little girl
A good breeze could just blow her away
She'd been hovering there, looking at one small doll
And she'd been there for most of the day

The parade, it passed by, but she never did look
she knew Santa was not here for her
There was only one thing that had captured her heart
And that was the doll, that's for sure

The other kids looked, made their lists in their heads
Ready to tell Santa their list
but, this little girl stood alone from the crowd
She was cold and her cheeks were ice kissed

The parade ended late, and Santa went in
took his chair and he met with the throng
But, this girl stood aside, never moving on up
And the Santa, knew something was wrong

He called her by name, which gave her quite a start
She was scared, but she moved at his call
She sat on his lap, and he reached down behind
And he gave the small girl the small doll

Her face lit the room, more than any display
She said "Santa, just how did you know?"
He said, "Sarah, my dear, it's as plain as can be"
"It's as easy as making it snow"

He put her back down, clutching her doll to her chest
And she walked to the front of the store
but, before she went out, she turned back to say thanks
And where he was, there was Santa no more

Is it magic to think that this Santa was real?
Or did this man know just what he should do?
He made Sarah's Christmas, by giving that doll
And I'm sure he made many more too

The Children of Christmas stare wide eyed all day
Dreaming hard of when Santa will call
But,, off in the corner of the chlly, young crowd
Stands a girl, with her new Christmas doll
I've manned the Christmas Kettle
Every year for twenty seasons
I don't tell people why I do it,
But, you know I have my reasons

It's makes me feel so special
Doing something that's just right
I man it from round 5 till 12
And almost every night

It gets cold out there ringing
My bell, for all to hear
I do it for my charity
One I hold so dear

Each year I've been out hustling
Getting more each year than last
I don't know how long I'll keep it up
The time's gone by so fast

I don't do lights at home at all
I do not have a tree
But I'm out there with my kettle
Ringing loud where folks can see

This year it was amazing
I brought in much more than before
I changed where I was ringing
I was not out by a store

The folks at where I donate
couldn't believe how much I got
In fact they got rid of my kettle
And gave me a large ***

It's the most they've ever had brought in
By any volunteer
I know it will be hard to beat
But, I'll try again next year

I'll tell you how I did it
I didn't use a gun or knives
I just rang my bell outside a strip bar
And told the men I'd tell their wives

Seems to work a treat for  me
I keep their secret and don't tell
And they pay me off in fifties
I just stand and ring my bell.
Christmas was just two days away
The letters were all sorted
One of them was pulled on out
And to Santa was reported

A young girl asked a question
Dear Santa, she did say
How can you love most everyone
Each and every single day?

You have your list of children
Some are naughty, some are nice
You review the list quite carefully
I'm told you check it twice

Santa read the letter
It gave the old man quite a jolt
A question from this little girl
Hit him like a  lightning bolt

She asked about the adults
How could Santa love them too?
Especially the bad ones
Who do the naughty things they do

What about the children
Who are not Christian in belief?
This short and simple letter
Was giving Santa Claus some grief

He thought about replying
Tell her how he felt this love
But, he knew he could do better
It was then push came to shove

He called down to the stables
Ordered Comet be made ready
He was told "It's nearly Christmas"
He won't be flying steady

Santa said "I need him"
"There's somewhere I must go"
"There's a little girl out there somewhere"
"And there is something she should know"

Santa went and got his parka
Comet readied for some air
Santa had to give his answer
He thought that this was fair

Two nights before Christmas
Santa set out, Comet too
To tell this girl his reason
It was something he should do

Somewhere down in Kansas
Sleeping deep inside her bed
The little girl was dreaming
Christmas thoughts did fill her head

Down the young girls chimney
Santa came without his sack
It was two days on from Christmas
And he knew that he'd be back

He crept up to her bedside
Leaned on in and whispered low
He told her, it was Santa
There is something you should know

I love all the worlds children
They are innocent and free
They choose to be so open
Innocence is the key

Innocence, it surrounds them
In time the innocence is lost
You aren't born to hate
Innocence burns off like frost

I love all the worlds  children
Adults once were children too
They were born without their darkness
The same as me and you

I love on different levels
That is why I have the list
That's why I double check it
To ensure no one's missed

So, I do not love them always
But for a short time,  I do
The change is loss of innocence
It isn't all that new

Believe and you will feel it
My love for all the world
Now sleep, and wait for Christmas
You are a special little girl

He left and she lay sleeping
He made it home by break of day
Comet went back to his stable
Santa put his suit away

He had a cocoa and a cookie
It  made him feel much  better
It had been a huge adventure
Started by a single letter

Keep the faith and innocence
In the season winter kissed
And know that every person out there
Is always on one list

Remember, write your letters
Ask your questions, do not fear
For maybe, maybe one day
Santa will come and whisper in your ear
There is a Christmas Story
For each light upon the tree
A tale to share with others
For each light that you can see
Stories of the presents
Of the times from long before
There are stories in the light string
Go to the past...step through the door

Each light brings on a feeling
As each decoration does as well
There are stories long forgotten
There are stories you should tell
Of Uncle Mike and Aunty Pat
Of skiing down the hill
Of Christmas' from long ago
You think about them still

A simple decoration
Brings a picture to your mind
Of the Christmas you first got this
Of the friends you've left behind
Of road hockey on Christmas Day
And making snowmen in the yard
It doesn't take much to find the memory
It really isn't all that hard

The tree and place is different
And the people come and go
Remember back that Christmas
When there wasn't any snow
The pictures may be buried
And the gifts, now out of sight
But, if you look closely at the tree now
You'll see a story in each light

Spend some time this Christmas
Sing some songs, remember back
Of the Christmas's forgotten
Of the people you've lost track
Look deep inside the light string
Find the stories in each light
Tell the stories to your loved ones
On this Merry Christmas night
T'was the night before Christmas
And with everything done
The kids were all dreaming
Of Christmas Day fun
The tree was completed
We had wrapped all the toys
When from the basement below
We heard a faint noise
I sprung from the couch
Took off down the stairs
On my way through the kitchen
I tripped on two chairs
I slid down the staircase
To the base of my house
And there with my shortbreads
Was a ****** great mouse
My wife followed close
And then she let out a shriek
She saw me and the mouse
And she started to freak
He nibbled the cookie
and he ran past my nose
right down my torso
Then he stopped at my toes
My wife was still screaming
The mouse didn't care
He continued his running
On under the stairs
I crawled to my workshop
Grabbed the first thing I found
A mallet for pounding
That mouse in the ground
I limped to the staircase
And I swung at the wall
I again lost my balance
And again, I did fall
I put two holes in the riser
Two more in the tread
I was gonna keep swinging
Till that mouse was dead
I broke the one lightbulb
That lit up the room
Now I was worried
I couldn't see...found the broom
I stepped on one end
Squared my self in the sack
I then heard a noise
The mouse had come back
I heard his slight skitter
As he went past my feet
He was off to the larder
For more stuff to eat
I went back to the workshop
Tripping at least three more times
I would finish this mouse
He would pay for his crimes
I grabbed for a lighter
And my large propane torch
I would hunt down this mouse
And his **** I would scorch
I lit up the propane
And I aimed at the stairs
It caught light on the carpet
And I burnt both those chairs
The flames went on upward
The stairs were quite dry
I laughed in hysterics
That **** mouse would fry
My wife had recovered
And decided to run
but, after seeing the flames
She phoned up 9 1 1
The mouse left the building
In fact, he never was found
The house burned in seconds
It collapsed to the ground
And through the whole scene
I just stood there and laughed
At the wreckage before me
And I thought, **** I'm daft
I had ruined our Christmas
And I burned down our house
Over a **** shortbread cookie
And one little mouse
The kids, they got out
And were wrapped up and warm
While I was creating
My own perfect storm
The gifts were all ruined
The house ...all consumed
And over my head
One large question loomed
If I had gone for the shotgun
And shot at the mouse
Would I be still having Christmas
And would I still have a house
My wife came on over
And she gave me a swat
She said "look what you've done"
"you great stupid ****"
I learned a great lesson
and folks ...it is that
Once I rebuild
I will then buy a cat!!!
The Christmas season is upon us
With lots of things to show
NO THERE ISN'T , YES THERE IS
And the best of them's the Panto

**** Whittington and Aladdin
Are two that I've forgot
But I've heard that they're amazing
YES THEY ARE, NO THEY'RE NOT

A tradition every Christmas
The Panto finds the kid
Inside every one who witnesses
NO HE DIDN'T , YES HE DID!!

Actors dressed as women
Silly fun for all to see
NO IT ISN'T , YES IT IS
And lots of fun for me

There's nothing like a Panto
To make the people yell
NO IT DOESN'T, YES IT DOES
It's a laugh for me as well

This year I chose my Panto
I'm going to see the lot
So, I will wish you Merry Christmas
I WILL SO, YOU WILL NOT!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND ENJOY THE PANTO IN YOUR AREA.
Santa sat and looked about the mess that lay before him
"How will I get these gifts all wrapped and gone by Christmas morning?"
The workshop looked as though it had been hit by a Tornado
But instead it was all the fault of *** he brought back from Tobago
A little shot in the elves egg nog would make them all work faster
But, as he saw the end result was short of a disaster
The more they drank the more they all got up and danced on tables
And in the end elf Juniper was left wearing only labels
She looked quite good despite her age, she was just about six thirty
And what she did with candy canes...well, you can say it was quite *****
The paper stretched from room to room, many miles were unravelled
Santa looked at the mess again, and thought "It's high time that I travelled"
He left the North to make a trip to hire cleaning staff
But , turned the reindeer right around, because he knew they'd laugh
How do you tell a person that you are about to hire
That the mess that they will soon clean up, is because my elves were wired
Santa thought that magic would be just the way to go
He would use it to clean up the mess, and nobody would know
The only problem with this stunt is that magic has a rule
He can only use it Christmas eve, it was not his private tool
The toys were strewn everywhere, and most were broke or nicked
He would have to wake the elves all up and to start things getting fixed
So, if you wake up Christmas morn and there is nought beneath your tree
Don't worry, Santas late, he should be there by three
He left a little late this year, but he will be by real quick
And he swore to never serve elves *****, or his name is not Saint Nick!
IT'S OUT....FINALLY AFTER TWO HARD YEARS OF WORK

http://www.amazon.com/Christmas-Ponies-Roger-Turner/dp/151532155X/ref=sr15?s=books&ie;=UTF8&qid;=1442559980&sr;=1-5&keywords;=The%20Christmas%20Ponies

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THANKS TO ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT.


IF YOU ENJOYED THE POEM, YOU'LL ENJOY THE BOOK.

THANKS AND MERRY CHRISTMAS

ROGER
Way back behind the high street
Down a cobbled, old, dark road
Sits a place of awesome wonders
And Christmas presents by the load

It's a little, tiny, Christmas Shoppe
It sits alone, with a small sign
It has sooty, frosted windows
And a door of painted pine

If you don't believe in Christmas
Don't carry Christmas in your heart
You'll never find The Christmas Shoppe
It'd be a waste to even start
To look for Christmas Magic
In a store you will not find
For to see it, you must carry Christmas
In your heart and in your mind

It's a place of magic and of wonder
It's only there one month a year
But, if you aren't a true believer
It's just best if you steer clear

Nick and Holly are the owners
When I say owners, I mean staff
They show up each and every Christmas
And these two know how to laugh

The door will open to believers
It can tell, you may be shocked
It decides for whom to open
For non-believers it stays locked

If you don't believe in Christmas
Don't carry Christmas in your heart
You'll never find The Christmas Shoppe
It'd be a waste to even start
To look for Christmas Magic
In a store you will not find
For to see it, you must carry Christmas
In your heart and in your mind

Once inside, the store is magic
It goes forever and a day
It's full of presents like no others
It's just a place you'd want to stay

Tell Nick and Holly your desire
What Christmas gift and tell them who
You would like to get this present
And they will find it fast for you

A gift for grand dad for his workshop
A special plate for your wife's mum
No request cannot be answered
You get your wish each time you come

If you don't believe in Christmas
Don't carry Christmas in your heart
You'll never find The Christmas Shoppe
It'd be a waste to even start
To look for Christmas Magic
In a store you will not find
For to see it, you must carry Christmas
In your heart and in your mind

The shelves are full of nothing
But, then again, you give your list
Then the shelves are full of wonder
And you see all the things you missed

The store is magic, that is certain
With gifts from many years gone by
It's full of gifts lost over eons
To find them now, you wouldn't try

There's extra men for playing soldiers
Made of lead and painted up
There's extra dice for snakes and ladders
And over there, a barking pup

As long as you are a believer
Nick and Holly, will come on through
They'll find a doll from 1940
They'll find a dress from back then too

If you don't believe in Christmas
Don't carry Christmas in your heart
You'll never find The Christmas Shoppe
It'd be a waste to even start
To look for Christmas Magic
In a store you will not find
For to see it, you must carry Christmas
In your heart and in your mind

It doesn't matter what you ask for
This store is full of what you ask
It knows exactly what you're thinking
It is a portal to the past

The prices, are within your budget
There's nothing here you can not buy
Even things now long forgotten
Nick sets the price, and not too high

The store shows up in every city
It's for believers and that is all
the one's who only think of retail
Well, they can do their shopping at the mall

There's toys and games from floor to ceiling
books and clothes and gadgets too
The store, it changes every minute
The things it has are up to you

Nick and Holly work their magic
Making dreams come true again
The help you find your hearts desires
The magic works on all good men

You must believe to gain your entrance
It's your one and only stop
You can find all you are wanting
At this little Christmas Shoppe

If you don't believe in Christmas
Don't carry Christmas in your heart
You'll never find The Christmas Shoppe
It'd be a waste to even start
To look for Christmas Magic
In a store you will not find
For to see it, you must carry Christmas
In your heart and in your mind
It was Christmas Eve, a Thursday
On the Northern Express Christmas Train
We were on our way north through the wilds
And our  destination was to be old Hornepayne

One hundred and eighty two people
Three kittens, one goat and nine dogs
Were riding up north on the railroad
Oh, I forgot to mention six hogs

There was snow coming in from the waters
Surrounding the bays, both Hudson and James
The engineer was prepared for a whopper
This would not be a time to play games

It was nineteen twenty in the year of our lord
The great war had been done for two years
These people were travelling homeward
To spend Christmas with those they held dear

The storm was gathering force over water
There was no way to safely arrive
They only had one option before them
If he wanted them all to survive

He pulled the train off on a side spur
They were not getting home safe tonight
But, the train, being old wasn't worthy
Of surviving the storm and it's fight

The conductor gathered up  all his courage
And he entered each car in their turn
He said "It looks like we're here for a while"
The storm looked real bad, as they'd learn

Remember it was nineteen twenty
The trains had no heat to keep warm
There was just an old stove and the engine
To keep them alive in the storm

The lines were down, so no message
Could be sent via morse code machine
They were stuck in the Ontario wilds
In a storm worse than they'd ever seen

They prayed and they sang hymns all together
Christmas carols and some all would know
As they sat, and they watched out the window
At the wind whipping, white sheets of snow

It was just after four when it started
Six hours in it was worse
One man, a fellow named Woolner
Said "we're stuck on a CP rail hearse"

The children were kept calm by their mothers
The men were watching as well
They were keeping an eye on the weather
They would not die in this frozen hell

It was just before midnight I reckon
When the storm broke enough to see out
The snow was now done and was over
Of this there was surely no doubt

Christmas Day...it was now after midnight
Some were sleeping while others were not
They had left to go start a fire
This was an idea given plenty of thought

The people awoke and they followed
To the fire to keep warm and still pray
They would make the best of a bad situation
Don't forget it was still Christmas Day

Christmas happens, it doesn't pick a location
It doesn't give a **** where you are
Christmas happens, and it gives a feeling
Of goodness, whether you're close or home is quite far

These people all stuck in the forest
Still a day or so from where they would go
Spent a Christmas with a whole bunch of strangers
some dogs, cats and hogs and a goat

Gifts that were destined for family
Were opened that night by the crowd
And the carols they sang in the forest
Shook the snow, they were singing so loud

The trees were lit up by the fire
Snow was covering branches up high
When they looked up into the dark heavens
And they saw the bright lights in the sky

The rainbow of colours was awesome
It shone brighter than bright in the sky
But one thing stood out in the distance
The one star that shone bright from on high

What was it that brought them together
Made them share this Christmas as one
Was it the storm that was the only reason
Or was there something else there that had come

The word came on out from the engine
The lines of communication were back
They should all get on back to their carriage
And he'd get this train back on track

When they all climbed aboard to get moving
Every seat had a package, all wrapped
No one saw who delivered the presents
As they were all in this outland, and trapped

Was it Santa come through to deliver
Their presents while they all went to pray
It's a question that no one can answer
It's a puzzle that remains to this day

If you ever go north on the railway
And you pass by the park near Hornepayne
Remember the big storm they encountered
And the magic on the Christmas Train
I've been looking for a Christmas Tree
The search has been so hard
Last night, I found the perfect one
Outside in my front yard

I venture past it every day
But, it never caught my eye
The tree is forty two feet tall
It reaches to the sky

Last night as I was leaving home
The moon shone oh so bright
It caught the snow on one low branch
And it really was a sight

I looked at it much closer
Saw perfection to my surprise
I'd been looking for the perfect tree
And here it was before my eyes

I couldn't bring it in the house
It would stay out front for all to see
We'd decorate it outside where it stood
The Perfect Christmas Tree

We started putting lights on it
We could only go so high
A neighbor stopped on his way home
with an idea he said to try

He came back by this morning
With some friends and just our luck
They came with two long ladders
And a bright red fire truck

In no time all the neighbors
Started coming by to see
They all bought decorations
For our giant Christmas Tree

It took two days to finish it
This tree that stood so tall
We planned to light it up that evening
To be seen by one and all

On Christmas Eve it happened
The fire truck made one last stop
They extended both their ladders
We put the star up on the top

It was perfect, and we knew it
The neighborhood was there as one
The lights and decorations
Made it light up like the sun

So, next time you need something
Look around and you might find
Perfection, like our Christmas Tree
Just as God designed
we have a clock up on the mantel
it's right just twice each day
but, when you get to my age
i guess that it's ok
i don't need clocks to keep in time
my body works for me
i don't need hands on an old clock
to tell me when to ***

my stomach says it's time to eat
the clock says ten past eight
it's three hours off as i can see
but, still ....i think it's great
the clocks been there through seven kids
four dogs, two cats, one wife
it's no wonder that with all of that
it barely has a life

you can still hear it try ticking
if you give it a good wind
i'd hate to look inside it
for fear of what i'd find
the cuckoo clock i used to own
went cockeyed, the bird died
i couldn't get the cuckoo back
no matter how i tried

i figure now at eighty six
that time has passed me by
i used to be quite punctual
i was just that sort of guy
but, now the clock up on my mantel
it's right twice...and i see
it's ten past eight again my friends
so...it means it's time for tea.
A copper, crimson canopy
Backlit by the sun
Millions of transluscent leaves
Holding on for dear life
To ancient, old tributaries
Branches to another time
Feeding the life into the cover
Each branch reaching for the fall sun
Each leaf struggling to hold on
A battle of wills
To avoid the inevitable fall
And await the winter solstice
So far, the tree is winning
It's reds and browns showing their strength
Against the might of time
Who will win?
Sun, Tree, Leaves or time?
Inspired by another of William Carr's photographs. Check them out at William Carr Gallery on  facebook or google it. His gallery in Las Vegas is home to some of the most phenomenal photographic artwork in the world. Please check it out and compare my words to his work.
Nothing left in this old town
I felt I didn't have much choice
I jumped on board a west bound freight
It was there I heard the voice.....

"Boy, this here is my car"
"You keep the rules, and you'll be fine"
"I don't know you, you don't know me"
"Boy, this car is mine"

I squinted in the darkness
I tried to focus on the sound
That voice there in the boxcar
As rough as any I had found

I asked him where he came from
He spoke but wasn't clear
Everywhere and Nowhere
And right now from right here

Now boy, Keep your distance
Keep quiet, leave me be
I don't like conversation
You keep to you, and I to me

Just then, the train car shifted
That there's the final shunt
You're safe now boy inside this car
The rail men stopped their hunt

He said that there shunting noise
Is the starting of a song
The train soon will start moving
Everyone is moving on

While the cars are stagnant
You know, not moving, sitting still
The rail men all go hunting
For us hobo's , if you will

That shunting sound is heaven
It means we are onto who knows where
And frankly boy, you know deep down
It really isn't fair

I asked him what he meant by that
He said, I've said enough
As time goes by, you sound some smart
You'll pick up on this stuff

The silence then took over
He was sleeping, so did I
He was snoring quite contently
I couldn't find sleep, I wonder why?

About an hour later
He sparked a match and smoke
And again from in the darkness
The hobo, well, he spoke

Boy, you are a new one
You could have killed me where I lay
But, boy, I trust your scared some
So, I guess I'm safe today

T'was a time a decade back
Got knifed, real hard and deep
Taken by another jumper
While I tried to have a sleep

Hadn't make that choice before
Most times I'm here alone
But, it was cold and wintry like
And I threw this boy a bone

See, it's dangerous riding rail cars
We are all on here to hide
And sometimes, well then, most times
This is not a pleasant ride

You know you asked my name back there
I ain't heard it for so long
They call me "The Conductor"
I'd give my name but, I'd be wrong

Life out here ain't easy
Your head is on a swivel
Listen boy, this is the truth
Not just some hobo drivel

Even though we're many
You are still alone out here
Some you think are friends one day
Would **** you for a pint of beer

So, keep your distance, bide your time
The choice is up to you
Stay out here and roll the dice
And do what you must do

I listened as he rambled
Sorted words that I could keep
Then as sudden as he started
He stopped, and went to sleep

Do I ride the rails a no one?
Lose my name inside my mind?
Or do I travel 'cross the country?
To see just what it is I'd find

I'm lost with no direction
Staying stagnant, that I know
But, the life of The Conductor
Is that where I want to go

I heard the old man snoring
I huddled up and grabbed my stuff
Between the lines from The Conductor
I guess I wasn't all that tough

Back home there is a fellow
The blues man is his name
He reminds me of this fellow
They could be one and the same

Next time I hear the blues man
Or hear the whistle of a train
I'll think of The Conductor
The man who has no name
---

The Conductor (Expanded Street Poem)


Nothing left in this old town,
I felt I didn’t have much choice—
I jumped aboard a westbound freight,
And that’s when I heard the voice…

“Boy, this here is my car,
You keep the rules, and you'll be fine.
I don’t know you, you don’t know me,
But boy, this car is mine.”

His words clanged like a coupler
When it locks and seals a train,
Rusted through with gravel breath
And notes of soot and rain.

I squinted in the darkness,
Tried to track where the sound came from.
That voice curled 'round the boxcar walls
Like smoke from burning ***.

I asked him where he came from—
He paused before he said,
“Everywhere and Nowhere...
And right now? From just ahead.”

“Now boy, keep your distance,
Keep quiet, leave me be.
I don’t like conversation—
You keep to you, and I to me.”

Just then the train car shifted—
That shudder, steel and soul—
“Them rails are singing, boy,” he said,
“That's the rhythm taking hold.”

“That’s the final shunt you’re hearing,
The coupler’s hymn of fate.
You’re safe now, tucked in iron walls—
No rail man's hand to chase.”

He leaned into the stillness,
Said, “That sound? It starts the song.
The music of the boxcar life—
The world is movin’ on.”

“You see while cars sit stagnant,
While they’re frozen still in place,
The rail men do their hunting—
And we hobo’s learn to brace.”

“But when that coupler snaps, my friend,
That’s when it’s time to dream—
A thousand miles of nowhere
With no promise but the steam.”

I asked him what he meant by that,
He said, “You’ll learn in time.
Just ride the rails and listen, boy—
There’s truth in every line.”
Come here kids and listen
We're gonna play a game
It's just like tag, a little
And Covid is it's name

The whole wide world is playing
It's a simple game to play
Everyone has cooties
The idea is stay away

The game has no time limit
It may last a month or more
You can win it if you listen
That's what this poem is for

You don't want the cooties
You don't want to be it
The idea is keep your distance
This game may take a bit

One way to block the cooties
From getting in your space
Wash your hands like we do
And do not touch your face

You don't know who has cooties
Who is it and who is not
So, stay close like we tell you
And then you won't get caught

This game is really something
I'll tell you when it's done
Just follow my instructions
And we'll keep on having fun

So, one, two, three...we're playing
Don't let the cooties in your space
Wash your hands like I do
And do not touch your face
how to explain the Covid-19 to little kids without scaring them
About a mile out of town
Past the village in the mist
Sits a tiny Country Church
Not found on any list

It's for Catholic and Baptist
It's for Protestant and Jew
It's doors are always open
This church is here for you

The town is near two hundred
The Church a few years more
There are tales about this building
That are part of local lore

The church is small in stature
But large in who it serves
It's a place to go and worship
It's a place to calm your nerves

The pews are hard and narrow
Carved by hand you see
One has crumbled through the years
So in all there's thirty three

Seventeen pews on the left side
Sixteen on the right
Hand carved with love by someone
And all are painted white

At Easter and at Christmas
The Church is full as it should be
And as one of those who enter
I say, it's something you should see

The pews seem so much whiter
When the voices sing so loud
If it could be witnessed by it's builders
I know they would be proud

There are carvings in the church pews
Left by many through out time
On the second one in on the left
Is my brothers name and mine

The pews are worn in places
They've supported many souls
Who have come in here for comfort
They have come to be made whole

The one pew that is broken
Was fixed but once more broke
It was decided then to leave it
By the elders, local folk

The minister in charge then
Stood and told those who were there
"To fix what keeps on breaking"
"Wastes time, we could better share"

"Besides, look all around you"
"The pews, there's thirty three"
"To you, it should hold meaning"
"Think hard, and you will see"

"Remember, Christ our Saviour"
"Think of his age on his last day"
"Thirty three, that is the number"
"Now, think on that next time you pray"

"The Church pew that is broken"
"Can't be fixed, so let it be"
"It's as though it was intended"
"To help give strength to you and me"

The Church out in the Country
Will stand longer than me
And will witness many Christmas'
From church pews ...all thirty three.
I came, I saw, I conquered
At least that's what I thought
But by my wife I am corrected
I was the one t'was caught
Everybody's learning how to wash their hands now,
C'mon baby do the Covid Motion
It's about as easy as a certain dance now
C'mon baby, do the Covid Motion
My little baby sister can do it with ease
It's easier than learning your A B C's
So c'mon,  c'mon, do the Covid Motion with me

(chorus)

You scrub your finger tips, c'mon baby
Now front, now back
Well now I think you got the knack...whoa whoa

Remember when you do it, leave some space now
C'mon baby do the Covid Motion
And you must make certain you don't touch your face now
C'mon baby do the Covid Motion
Wash for twenty seconds babe, that's all you'll need
Some soap, and water and I know you'll succeed
So come on, come on, do the Covid Motion with me


(Interlude)

Yeah yeah yeah, do the Covid Motion
C'mon baby do the Covid Motion
When you wash your hands, it's the Covid Motion
Standing still and dancing like the locomotion
It's the way to do it, just listen to me
Do the Covid Motion now 1-2-3
So c'mon , c'mon and do the Covid Motion with me

chorus

C'mon baby do the Covid Motion
C'mon baby do the Covid Motion
C'mon baby do the Covid Motion
C'mon baby do the Locomotion

fade out
sung to The Locomotion by Carole King
Put on your mask
Don't touch your face
Remember to leave
Six feet of space

Look at you now, you're doing the Covid Rag

Get all geared up
Go to the store
Can't find a thing
That you came for

Throw up your hands, you're doing the Covid Rag

You're doing the Covid Rag now
Doing the Covid Rag
Really, it's ****** sad now
We're doing the Covid Rag

Keep people safe
Don't touch too much
Remember you must
Wipe what you touch

Look at you now, you're doing the Covid Rag

Best stay at home
Do not go out
Eat what you want
Till you run out

Throw up your hands, you're doing the Covid Rag

You're doing the Covid Rag now
Doing the Covid Rag
Really, it's ****** sad now
We're doing the Covid Rag

So, Put on your mask
Don't touch your face
Remember to leave
Six feet of space

Look at you now, you're doing the Covid Rag

Throw up your hands, you're doing the Covid Rag
Stay safe at home, doing the Covid Rag
Doing the Covid Rag, Doing the Covid Rag
A hundred thousand miles
were written on his face
He'd earned near every wrinkle
Did this cowboy known as "Jace"
He'd ridden cross the country
From Death Valley up to Maine
In weather full of sunshine
To the roughest hurricane
He owned two pair of Levis
One for workin', one for church
To know how long he'd been here
You'd really have to search
"Jace" was born in Kansas
In the spring of fifty one
His parents were both teachers
And he was their only son
Kansas was a "free" state
One where slaves were free men too
Where the soldiers were militia men
Who served in Union Blue
The fighting up in Kansas
started before the civil war
They were fighting over slavery
For many years before
The first call up was in summer
Back in June of sixty one
Jace's father got his papers
And he left his wife and son
The First Kansas Regiment
Were a proud and fearsome lot
They were a tougher foe to battle
Than the South had at first thought
"Jace's" father was a Captain
In fact he had his own brigade
And he was a decorated soldier
For his dues,  this man had paid
In October of sixty four
He was riding his horse "Sleek"
When we was killed by a "grey" ******
At The Battle of Marmiton Creek
The news got home directly
"Jace" and Mother quickly left
They boarded up the house
And then, they headed for the west
With no father to guide him
Jace became the man at home
He didn't like to settle
And he would much rather roam
His mother passed...consumption
Jace was only seventeen
He was not one for mourning
If you know just what I mean
He needed work to get some cash
He left school....and could ride
And he always had his rifle
Just hanging by his side
He could shoot better than older men
And he could ride just like the wind
And even at this early age
He was leathery of skin
Jace joined in a cattle drive
Moving eastward from the west
He didn't take much time to prove
He was equal to the test
Roping, branding, riding herd
Jace was comfortable as hell
But, he rarely ever said a word
Jace would hardly ever yell
He would eat off from the main group
Always watching, keeping post
He would have his own small fire
The men would call him "ghost"
He never settled down at all
Just rode from west to east
Then turning round he'd return home
His palms had now been greased
He didn't spend much money
He kept it in a bank back home
He had a spread in Austin
And he ..yep, lived there all alone
Each time he'd run a herd across
The country he would buy
Some more land in the area
Or at least, most times he'd try
He had a man named Sancho
Worked the ranch and kept it up
and a young lad known as Felize
Followed Sancho like a pup
Jace would come and clean his rig
Never staying past a week
Then he'd be back out on the trail again
On his second horse...still "Sleek"
His jeans were crusted over
Clay and mud from all the drives
There was more age in this mans jeans
Than most cats did have lives
He beat them with a broom at home
Never ever washed them clean
He said by looking at the dirt on here
I know exactly where I've been
A grizzled old range  cowboy
With a skin as tough as hide
He was never home for very long
Always waiting for the ride
In Austin his ranch was just huge
14 thousand acres square
But, what good was a ranch that big
When he was never there
"Land is something stable"
"They can never make more land"
"But as for cold cash money"
"It's not worth a field of sand"
He died while home in Austin
Nineteen hundred twenty nine
The market crashed around him
But he said, "All this is mine"
They took him back to Kansas
To be buried at his start
He was buried near his father
And his mom, god bless her heart
He gave his land to Sanche
and gave some to Felize too
They kept it up for him so long
It was the least that he could do
He was the image of a cowboy
A loner, sagebrush in his soul
But in the end , it was family
For that's what kept him whole.
Derelict, decrepit,
Just a waste of space
A relic from a different age
One who'd run the race

An eyesore
Gives the place a name
Represents a time long past
It's no longer in the game

A stiff wind would take it down
It's not worth a single dime
Take it down, demolish it
It's enemy is time

A single pane of glass is left
Cracked from side to side
In fact it's cracked the whole way through
As tall as it is wide

The others are all boarded
Keeping out nothing at all
The only thing the wood does
Is act as canvas to them all

Graffiti covers every space
That is left standing here
It used to be a factory once
That made a local well known beer

BUT ON THE OTHER SIDE....

Inside the building squatters sit
Derelicts, wastes of space
The building is their home for now
Away from the rat race

Eyesores, hidden in plain sight
Humanity at it's worst
That is the image given them
Because of addictions thirst

A stiff wind would take them down
So thin and frail are they
Protected by a building that
A storm could blow away

One side thinks it awful
The other, thinks it's good
An eyesore and a fragile shell
Of old bricks and glass and wood

But...for one plain window
Separating worlds apart
A crack runs through the window
It is the buildings heart.
There was a crooked man
And he had a crooked smile
He had all crooked teeth
they'd been crooked for a while

He had a crooked house
on a crooked little road
with a crooked little garden
with a crooked little toad

He had a crooked dog
with a crooked little tail
he had a crooked mailbox
for his crooked little mail

he had some crooked dreams
in his crooked little bed
he saw crooked little monsters
in his crooked little head

he had two crooked children
with his crooked little spouse
they weren't with the crooked man
he was a crooked little louse

he ate his crooked dinner
off of crooked little plates
he lived in crooked silence
behind his crooked little gate

this crooked little man
and his crooked little self
is in a crooked urn
up on a crooked little shelf

his crooked heart attacked him
on a crooked little ride
his crooked body gave on out
and the crooked man...just died
Behind all of the glamour
Hidden by the glitz
Under all the spray on tans
And distracted by the ****

Lies a Vegas like no other
Not the one you wish to see
The other side of Vegas
Has a cost, it isn't free

A parade of homeless people
Far off strip are daily seen
Heading for a bed and meal
Away from where the grass is green

The locals all accept it
It's a darker part of town
Where there's fewer painted smiles
On this Las Vegas clown

Every other building
Is boarded up or framed
In steel bar covered windows
With no winners at the game

The goal of all the walkers
Is to get to the next day
They can't afford to leave here
They can't afford to stay

Each walkway full of hawkers
Selling water for a buck
Passed out drunks all sleeping
Hoping you will toss a buck

Some saints and many sinners
Came to find the life they lead
Is not the one they looked for
When they came here to fill their greed

Don't look behind the curtain
You will not like what you will find
The darker side of Vegas
Is not one that's in your mind

A parade of desperate people
Walk the streets each night alone
Past the empty buildings
Pass the bail bonds, guns and loans

To truly see Las Vegas
You have to venture off the strip
Into a world of darkness
And in truth, it's a short trip

Behind the glitz and glamour
Away from where the tourists go
Is the dark side of Las Vegas
That only few will ever know
The tourists all jostle for a look at the falls
At the point where the water just drops
It goes over the edge, crashing down far below
And then it's all over, it just stops

But, further up river before the falls are in sight
Where the river's hypnotic, dull and oh, so boring
The dark voices are waiting, hiding and calling
This is the place that the powers are storing

Beware the dark voices
They come and they go
They infect your mind
You've heard them, you know
The dark voices are different
But, they always are there
Turn away from their callings
And as always....beware

A dark, gloomy bar on the wrong side of town
Where the waitresses all dance for their tips
A strip joint so defined, but really not so
This is where one's morality slips

A sniff of a perfume, so fragrant yet cheap
Blurs your connection to the ring on your hand
The dark voices are calling, telling you things
Get the waitress and prove you're a man

Beware the dark voices
They come and they go
They infect your mind
You've heard them, you know
The dark voices are different
But, they always are there
Turn away from their callings
And as always....beware

You've returned from  a movie, back to your home
You must now take the babysitter back
Your wife stays home waiting for your return
But, with the babysitter you kind of lose track

You see a young body, and a glimpse of her breast
She crosses her legs, but you don't look that far
You share idle chatter, as you flirt like a kid
And you take the girl to the back seat of the car

Beware the dark voices
They come and they go
They infect your mind
You've heard them, you know
The dark voices are different
But, they always are there
Turn away from their callings
And as always....beware

The voices keep coming, just block them out
They feed on your weakness and pain
You have to ignore their pleadings to break down
For nothing good comes of them, there's nothing to gain

Jump in the water, go over the falls
Go with the dancer, surrender your life
Lay down with the baby sitter
Feel the voices twist the knife

Beware the dark voices
They come and they go
They infect your mind
You've heard them, you know
The dark voices are different
But, they always are there
Turn away from their callings
And as always....beware
The posters said tomorrow
At eleven on the dot
The Mishkin Brothers Circus
Would be here ....on this spot

There would be no carnival or midway
Just one tent and three rings
And all of the excitement
That a good old circus brings

There would be elephants and lions
Trapeze artists overhead
Dancing dogs and ponies
And zebras painted red

Clowns of all description
Answering to just one man
In the center of the circle
Was Mishkin brother....Dan

He'd run the show for twenty years
Gone from town to town to town
In one day they would get set up
And in two, they'd tear it down

One day to show the locals
The circus still was an event
With magic, form the Barnum Days
All housed inside one tent

The sideshow barkers and their geeks
Were not with this fine group
Dan Mishkin had assembled
Only the finest circus troup

From Russia he had jugglers
Knife throwers, just the best
******* riders from Decatur
Along with all the rest

Fourteen trucks and trailers
Pulled into town the night before
Breaking ground once they arrived
Working right through until four

Just old time entertainment
No travelling gypsy band was this
It was the Mishkin Brothers Circus
It was something not to miss

The show was started promptly
At twelve o'clock, like the sign said
A parade of all the players
And the zebras painted red

Two shows and it was over
The whole routine began anew
The field was once more empty
Gone was the Mishkin rolling zoo

A year from now, we'd see the signs
And we'd all go to the tent
To see the Mishkin Brothers Circus
The best money ever spent
It is with great sadness that I must announce that wit has withered and died. Actually, it probably died years back, but, like a character on a soap opera, it returns in flashbacks on occasion.

The ability to use wit to insult, as Will Rogers, Dorothy Parker, and the great writers of the past is no more. The use of wit to make someone leave feeling good about themselves, while having just been put in their place verbally, is an art.

I told someone the other day that he was a veldt of intellect, he didn’t know what veldt meant, I could see from the complete look of “duh” on his face. He told me *******….and then after I laughed, he said it again.

This is the replacement comeback now….*******. Witty…at the least. Groucho Marx, was great with the witty comeback, Noel Coward was a genius with his ability to use wit to disarm a situation. Now, *******. yep….that’s it.

If, wit has a resurgence and there is a verbal afterlife, let’s hope ******* is left at the door, holding a copy of watchtower.
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