you've grown up
with the notion
that you're at fault
for all your flaws

you've convinced yourself
that your shoulders
are an okay place
for other people's problems to fall

you've got this twisted idea
that you're responsible
for other's mistakes,
that somehow you're the one to blame

           you've got it all wrong

you should never apologize
on behalf of other's actions
that's like saying sorry
for being too compassionate

your heart is as real
as the sun in the sky
your mind is just evil
an enemy telling you lies

don't fall for any of it
look in the mirror
wipe away all your tears
and tell yourself, always:

it's not your fault
it's not your fault
it's not your fault

*it is not your fault

the most intimate minutes
are the ones spent with you
when the lights are off and it's quiet
wrap your hands around my hips
hold tight
kiss me on the lips
spend these intimate minutes with me
before we say goodnight

nothing beats the unconditional love of a dog
the way they greet you on your worst days
lick your face clean and smile as you lean in to pet their head
the way they watch you grow up
they're there for the birthdays and the family holidays
for the bad days and the good days,
they'll always be in the mood to play or to just lay with you
the way they'll cuddle with you and lick away your tears,
they'll stay right by your side through all your trials and all your fears
dogs are like a built in best friend
we'll never be able to love like them

nothing beats the unconditional love of a dog
because to us they're just apart of the journey
but to them, we are their entire universe

When I can't sleep I know it's because of you

you're running through my mind,
keeping my eyes wide open

When I can't sleep I can't dream

because the reality of you is always better than it seems

i love you mom
you've watched me grow up &
you've watched me leave home
but i promise i'm not gone

i love you mom
you've smiled at my best &
you've stuck with me through my worst
i now know right from wrong

i love you mom
your tough love toughens me up &
your witty humor keeps me young
if only you could tuck me in at every dusk and wake me up at every dawn

i love you mom
even when i don't show it &
even when i don't say it
i feel it more and more as the days go on

i love you mom
your heart and your warmth
are the closest things on this earth
to living proof of God's love

this is for you, mom

a mind after midnight is a scary thing
that undiscovered country of thoughts
throughout your brain & running in your veins
pulsing, begging to be acknowledged
but you feel your heart beat faintly
and it meets the pace of your steadfast brain
slowly synching into sleep
hoping to forget everything
the next morning

i've seen you cry
felt your pain
i've dried your eyes

i've seen your worst
felt your anger
i've helped your hurt

i've seen your best
felt your smile
i've forgotten the rest

i've seen your heart
felt your pulse
i've touched every part

i've seen your love
felt your love
i've fallen in love

love is a funny thing, it's true
sometimes it seems made up
until it happens you
until you find yourself in a crowded room
and you realize , suddenly
that maybe this world was made for just two

we spend so many of our days
just trying to pass the time
barely looking out the window
to see that life is passing us by

the sun sets and the sun rises
method becomes routine
as we move along
with robots in our minds

days become months
months melt into years
are we standing steady and still
or facing our faults and our fears

when the sun and the moon
take their final spin
will we have been satisfied
with the way we've lived-

how we've passed the time?

loving you is like the wind
the way my lungs fill with air
when I breathe you in

loving you is like the sun
the way your skin keeps me warm
when the cold nights come

if falling asleep in your arms
means waking up to the same alarm
then I've never wanted to fall as hard

loving you is like loving your heart

won't you slow down
take a chance to look around
the world is so much brighter with you in it, i've found
take it all in, all the smells and the sights and the sounds

you're only just a kid
at 8 years old, you've got the whole sky to be seen
for you, magic is as real as the stars and the galaxies in between
won't you slow down

you're only just a teenager
at 16 years old, you've got the whole world at your feet
youre driving now, but don't go too fast because these years are fleeting
won't you slow down

you're only just a mother
you've got a husband and a family of 3
before you know it, your kids will move away and plant their own seeds
won't you slow down

suddenly you're 70 years old
thinking if all the memories and you look around
your time on this earth coming to an end - you're heaven bound
why couldn't you slow down

when it comes down to it
your choices
are what change you
your mistakes
are what make you human
your life
is a string of events
waiting to unfold
your time here on earth
is a never ending story
waiting to be told

but at the end of the day
when you can't decide
how to spend your remaining time,
whether you wish to travel the world
or stay put in one place
remember that wanderlust doesn't need a degree
it's hard to say
that there's a cost to living free

tell me what it is you want
and trust me, i'll listen
if you jump, I jump
i'll make truth out of all your wishes

i can be anything
the shelves that hold your favorite books
the blanket that wraps around your skin
the mirror that tells you how you look

just tell me, and i'll be

i can be the warmth that you need,
a safe place to come home to
i can be the winter wind,
lifting you off your feet

i can be the sun that touches your body,
take me all in
i can be the light that guides you,
follow me

i can be here
and i can be yours
and if you let me,
together we could rule the world

I can see you clearly now, but I don't know how that can be, when you're so far away from me

but I can still see the times we shared in the lines on my forehead -
and I can count the amount of laughter you gave me, imprinted in my dimples
and I can feel the softness of your skin -
the scent of you better than any perfume, the presence of you better than the essence of any being

but I don't know how it slipped away,
so quickly and so swiftly -
and like the wind, you went

how am I supposed to mend my broken parts,
if you're still beating,
in my head and in my heart?

it's nearing 1am and I can't help but see you as just a friend

Your arm is around mine and I feel safe but even if it wasn't I wouldn't mind
How did I let it get this far
I promise I didn't mean to drag you along, to bruise or to scar your heart
Something doesn't belong
Forgive my trying,
I just wanted to see if I felt the same
If there was a spark that ignited, or if it was a weak flame
I'm excited that you're in my life, don't get me wrong
I just think I want something different, something that might not last as long
i hope you understand that I tried to find the flame
If I cause you pain to withstand or sadness to bear, you have me to blame, I swear

it's almost 3am, and I still can't help but see you as just a friend.

when you love someone, you let their little imperfections become irrelevant but you learn to love every single one of them because of their heart - and to love the whole is to love each part

i was wondering
why
i had a headache
trying
to understand the pain
but it was right in front of me
taking up
too much space

-it was you

tonight I hope you'll join me
play with my hair as we sleep
softly and you breathe deeply,
blowing innocent wind
onto my bare skin

wrap your arms around my armored heart-
hold tight

tonight I hope you'll stay with me
and remind me
why this love
takes time

won't you slow down
take a chance to look around
the world is so much brighter with you in it, i've found
take it all in, all the smells and the sights and the sounds

you're only just a kid
at 8 years old, you've got the whole sky to be seen
for you, magic is as real as the stars and the galaxies in between
won't you slow down

you're only just a teenager
at 16 years old, you've got the whole world at your feet
youre driving now, but don't go too fast because these years are fleeting
won't you slow down

you're only just a mother
you've got a husband and a family of 3
before you know it, your kids will move away and plant their own seeds
won't you slow down

suddenly you're 70 years old
thinking of all the memories and you look around
your time on this earth coming to an end - you're heaven bound
why couldn't you slow down

I remember the night we had our first fight,
it was like the tide that crashed too high -
         and pulled back only for a little while
until it met the shore, kissed it once more
before the night was over -
it was the storm that somehow brought us closer

don't ever for a second
assume that you are any less
than the best person that you could possibly be
you are human and you should know-
that you are nobody else's but your own
you are your light,
the one that shines bright when the rest of the world goes inside
you are your light,
your own guide when you feel blind

you are yours,
but God,
someday I hope you're mine

you dance in my head
running circles in my mind
can't seem to shake
the familiar feeling
that words you say
have no meaning
when our love is dead

you are your heart
you are the art you hang on your walls
you are your 2pm thoughts and your 2am sulks
you are the whole and you are the parts
you are your heart,
beating-
reminding you
what it means
to be and to breathe

I always run from the ones who care the most

but it scares me to bare my true self, to be fully exposed

it takes a lot for me to come undone, to let my mind repose

but the ones who care the most never run.

they love me for me - all my flaws and my ripped seams - and they pull me in close

but somehow I still find myself lying to my own heart

I guess I've been running from the start.

when i first saw you
i knew
what your smile
would do
to a mind
like mine

i waited
patiently
for you
to ask my name
to hear
your voice
for the first time

the hand on the clock
moves with my heart
meticulous and non-stop
running in circles
but the workings of my mind
cannot be measured
by a single moment in time
neither the end nor the start
but i've made my mind up
i've found my role
the hand on the clock
moves with my heart
but not with my soul

I'm willing to admit an amount more than I've been given,
is about the love that I've so longingly hidden,
deep inside a place -
where doors are locked and walls are dark
where I don't even go
for fear that I might know,
what love looks like -
even in the shadows

ready
set
don't go
no, I can't lose you yet

hearing my name on your lips,
and your hands wrap around my hips

this is where I want to be,
when the lights go out and we can't see

darling, please don't leave, you're not one that I want to miss

how can something seem so wrong
yet feel just right
can lead you, string you along
how can it completely change your mind

he did that to me
the way he smiles
he has my knees weak
makes life feel a little more worthwhile

i caved into his touch
fell into his open arms
hoping that was enough
for my fragile & open heart

he reminds me what it's like
to remember my favorite dreams
bringing my deepest thoughts to life
he makes me feel free

How do I know, to love you or to leave you?

What will it feel like if I lose you? Did I ever really have you?

Through every toss and every turn, every night without your arm across mine

I wonder what it would be like

If I went through life without ever having known you

Would I be happy or sappily obsessed with the idea of happiness?

Would I smile the way you made me smile? Laugh with the same joy that yours brought mine? Or would I find joy in different things without you by my side?

Maybe I would meet someone new, another one I could pursue and who could make me feel the same way you used to

Or would I still wish it was your arms around mine every time I got close to someone else at night?

How do I know, to love you or to leave you?

on your mark
get set
don't go