If i had all the wealth and riches,
I would buy you the world.
But a simple smile on your face is what i would love to see the most.
With little to say.
All i have are only the best wishes.
A beautiful day.
An extreme blissful sunday.
With uncountable blessings.

You deserve the best
For you have always been the best.
Passing through many life lessons.
I cant believe you are 21.
How hysterical of it all that today is the 21st.
Knowing that there are many more trials to come.
I pray that you never lose heart.

Hope you stop growing in height soon.
But I pray you grow in every other aspects of your life.
Happy birthday buddy.
My kind Nunu.

I wonder around faking a smile
pretending am alright,
people see me and believe all is well when i laugh.
They make jokes that seem not to have an impact on me
as much as you do.

A little hope,
a little smile,
a little laughter, that makes it all worth it is what you are to me.
A little  from the heart is all i could ever share with you,

like you name says,
i believe you have conquered my heart.
You meant nothing few days ago,
but now a little from the heart
makes me see how much i love you.

The day so bright,
but i am feeling clouded,
gloomy is the area that surrounds me.
Uncomfortable in my own self,
i feel so confused,
lost,
misunderstood,
afraid,
but i smile through out the day,
proud of my achievments,
but my efforts are not admired,
a day so bright,
i am lost in its darkness,
who am i?
What am i?
I do not know,
but all in all failure strikes

I wouldnt deny to failer,
nor bow down to it.
I wouldnt deny to defeat,
nor fall under it.

Am only human,
just a little girl.
Have made wrong and right,
but never have i expected perfection.

Am only human,
better than today's technology,
for i know when to rest,
and i know when to say "NO"

am only human,
yes i can feel,
take every step with caution,
reflect to my past and still stay in the present.

I am only human,
i cry,
i laugh,
i hate,
i love,
i smile,
i frown

i am only human
and i have emotions just like you.

It's not about his mental illness,
Don't get me wrong.
It's about how he used the empathy in me to his advantage,
And assumed abusing my heart would go on forever.
I got tired  of hoping the man I first loved would come back...
because clearly...
He was all just an act.

If anybody should be angry at the other its me,
angry at myself for the shame,
no need to point a finger or hide behind it,
not willing to call myself a failer
but i know i have failed.

Too ashamed to let everyone see me weeping,
not even myself from that mirror reflecting my loss back at me.

I was too proud,
believed in myself,
knew i was going to make it,
but no i failed,
and all it has done is to bring back my losses from the past.

To ashame to let the world see me,
i have locked myself away,
i cant even walk out of the house,
it feels like the whole world knows my loss.

Too proud,
too confident,
but now all my confidence has been washed away into the drain.

I am mostly ashamed for i failed to make my Mama proud.

'Tata Madiba'
Father of the Nation,
Today you could have been 97 years,
but your journey of life was cut so short,
21 years years of democracy is what we will all remember you with,
Nelson Mandela,
the great fighter,
you tought us to love and be in unity,
your works we shall remember,
may your dear soul rest in peace forever,
while we still hold on to 67 minutes of Madiba day,
showing our love and care for our great nation as much as you did,
we love you Tata,
we honour your legacy,
together we still can because of your great dids,
'Halala Madiba Halala!!'

I get hurt I don't mind.                       She gets hurt I don't care,
     You get hurt I worry a lot a lot
         Because I care,
      I never want to see you hurt,
   From all her drama and turmoils,
You still don't realise that its me who
         Cares.

      She's driven you through hell,
        Some little publicity and all.
   Silly little drama that could have pushed me way but still I stood with  
             My sobering heart
        Waiting for my chance to  
                   Comfort           
             You after her dread
  And heal your wounds from her
          Sharp swords.                               

It is my endless love that makes me
                          Care
Yet I don't mind that you are never
             Going to love me.

Should I tell him I miss him? Or should I lay in bed and pretend his besides me?
If i told him I missed him he would say am lying.
And if I told him i loved him...
God only knows if it's true.
Today the soound of his heart beat plays in my chest.
His silly giddy moments flicker in my mind.
I can feel him,
Not sure if I should say "His here, right besides me"
I suppose it's just me being will again.

Question is, does he feel this way when he thinks of me too?

While I crawled in the arms of my tender sleep,
Having said a little prayer,
Dreaming of reality's dread.

Mama stayed awake trying to let you out.
Sweating and fighting all the pain and strains,
And hoping you would be out soon.

Daddy kept saying little prayers and signing songs of praise in his heart.
He awaited for your arrival,
It was soon enough until you surfaced the earth.

They both couldn't wait to have you in the palm of their hands
And see your sparkling eyes open up to reality's dread.

But do not worry you little one,
For we are all here for you.
To protect you from the devouring spirits,
And every other wicked spiritual realm;

Rock of Victory youth will never let you sobber in pain in our site,
Nor let any bully bring down your flaws.
We are willing to support you all the time.

Mommy and Daddy will always keep you happy,
And they will never leave you behind.
They will groom you to be mommy and daddy's little girl.
They shall always keep you warm in the dark,
And in comfort during the storms.

The Lord shall become your refuge and your strength,
He will shower you with blessings,
An pour his wisdom upon you.
He shall lead you into the narrow gates,
And forever shall he be your fortress.

Our deep breaths we have been holding for too long have been released into the thin air.
And from them we have found an atmosphere of celebration.
With little words to describe my happiness,
I am so greatful to be amongst those to celebrate the gift of life that God has presented to you.

Nolwazi J Mabilisi®

Like qualified pilots who have lost control of their aircraft.
My strength and confidence is has been drained,
I have non no more.

Like the aircraft falling apart in mid-air.
I feel my self shatter,  
I can feel that am breaking,
I know that i have been splintered
And only love can stir me back into position.

With every piece of debri falling from the sky,
And into the middle of nowhere but the hospitality or open seas.
I am lost, deep in the depths of lonliness.
Sinking fast into the scary world of heartbreaks.

Falling so quick it cannot be stopped the last crush of the rest of the aircraft has been captured by the creatures of the sea and no other witness.
Sudden silence and then whispering waves hidding all the evidence,

I keep faking my smile everyday,
Being welcomed by a pool of tears every night.
The only witness present is my sobbered pillow.

Yet like air controllers,  
Those who care seem to wonder
"What on earth has happened to her sparkle?"
"The most inticing eyes have been powdered with grey"
"Where has she lost her zeal,
Her love for nature is gone,
What happened to all the inspirations that made her write?"
And at the back of my mind i wish somebody would get the answers.

All the answers can only be found by the search rescures,
Maybe somebody out there knows i need help, 
Somebody willing to get all the answers,  i guess...

Somehow i know,
That my heart like a black box lies,  
In the deepest ends of the sea bed.
Unless some one comes and opens it,
I will never really know is wrong with me.

Sitting in a crowded room,
everybody has something to say,
i try to tell a story but
nobody would listen.

At that moment when i try to  raise my voice,
i just realise that am blocked out.
I sit alone in a crowed room and i wonder what my purpose is.

Much of a helper thats all i am,
much of a planner thats what i am,
so much of a listener and a talker when something needs to be solved,
but less than that am blocked out,
less than that am invisible.
Thats what i am
just less than that

She spends most of her days in doldrums,
always segregated from the whole crowd.
Everyone uses her acts and games against her.

It seemed like a game and they liked it.
But now it is toture,
she is being bullied
she fears coming to school,
she fails to catch some sleep at now,
their words keep ringing in her ears at night.

Today in the morning it was her shoe lace,
after assisting them
the only thanks they give is by making her feel misrable.
Now this afternoon she is crying,
and it all seems like a joke to them.

"Nomathemba help me with Accounting !"
they call out everyday.
After her help they become ironic,
"she is a distinction student".
They make her feel belittled.

"Dont worry you will be Accountant one day...
Because Accountants are greedy too"
i am not willing to support them,
their games are surely bad.

She fails to laugh,
nor smile,
her heart filled with pain.
She is a victim of emotional abuse,
and am the only one who seems to care.
What happened to the unity amongst us?

Burdened,
Pained.
At wits end,
Am close to giving up.
Maybe I have already,
but I still have to be strong.
Hold it up together,
I don't know for how long.
Patience faded a long time ago.
But I still hold together.
Not for myself,
Not because I wasn't to,
But because the world requires it to be so.

Child abuse!
Child abuse!
What kind of a monster are you?

Children all over the world are being abused.
They are abused at home by their parents,
At school by their teachers,
And as they play with thier peers.
They suffer from the East, North, West and South.

What then should be done to make an end to this problem?
Parents, teacher and friends,
Lets all think about this problem,
Lets all try to make an end to it.

THANK YOU!

In the cold and silent morning i feel the need of having you,
Just a little touch to make my heart so pure.

Like little arrows the rain pours,
it leaves me with sores,
only a gentle touch could fix.

He knows he likes her,
But he is not sure he can stand the cyclones around them.
She knows she likes him,
But there are just these obstacles standing in her way.
They know they are in love,
But what do they have to do to be convinced?

Oh! Boy, Oh!  Boy
Relationships! ,  relationships!
Commitments!
Compromises!
Sacrifices!
Attachments!
Support!
Fights!
Confusions!
And most of all.... 'LOVE'

You make me laugh when am not supposed to.
And smile when I dont have to.
You make me happy though I dont know the reason why.
You are the bright blossom of my clouded day.

He is a keeper,
And I hope she keeps him too
She is and Angel
And I hope he becomes hers too.
She hopes for a protecter
And I believe she has found one.
He hopes for a comforter
And I believe he has found one.

Everything is just wild,
With mediators on the side
And on lookers observing.
It is so hard to look at it and ignore,
But I am happy to know that the world around me still carries love.

He knows he loves her,
And I hope she loves him too.

i am African, Yes i am black, i live under the same sun as yours, yes we are one.   Why battle with one another, the xenophobia attacks in my country should end, shops are looted, houses burnt down, children fear going to school and hundreds are left homeless.     What happended to South Africa being known as a Rainbow Nation? After 22 years of democracy why do we still fight, defensless statues are destroyed, histroy is wiped away and all that is left is faces without races, let us put our weapons down and rather love than fight.

Just because you made me a birthday wish didn't mean I owed you one,
Just because I didn't say any wishes didn't mean I dont care,
I just don't want anything associating myself with you.
What need was it for you to spit out greatly bitter insults at me,
Yes I called you crazy
For I have never seen a selfish person such as you.
It is no use pretending I meant nothing to you,
For you would have not smeared your unchanting words on me.

I would love to see you in much more misery than this,
But thank you for you immediately blocked me out of your life

Fought against my fears,
Until now that they have become hate,
Pushing back those tears,
I am trying my best to find ways to meet my fate.

Carrying on my shoulders a heavy pile,
I hide my broken spirit behind that smile,
Locked myself away in the room,
My whole world has been feeling gloom.

Seems like the earth and its creatures have won once again,
I will admit that its not atitude,
We are just in diffrent altitudes,
All i can do is pace myself away from your latitude,
There has always been a different maltitude...my "Dear Friend"

Keep us close everyday,
Bestow Your love in our hearts,
Let us be humble and kind,
Make us keep to Your good deeds,
Allow me to love him dearly.
And let him know that i love him
Let me be able to celebrate in his sucess.
And be able to mourn in his sorrows.
Lord keep us together,
In loving harmony and peace.
You have heard the kindest words i say to him
Let us love one another into enternity Lord!

Your marriage crisis has been affecting my poems,
i get you commenting
with some sense of hatred.
I wouldnt feel so uncomfortable
if i knew you,
and if i had anything to do with
your marriage.

This little girl has become so vulnerable,
posting every poem with a little
prayer,
that you dont wreck it
and make it one of your rough drafts.

Dear Mrs JC
i would rather appreciate you
staying away from my poems.
And not getting any like
or comment at all,
than having your name written all over them.

Dear you.
You have become old,
you can make your own choices,
and no one will be there to stop you.
You have become old
and you have learnt a lot from life.

You have met a lot of people,
different hearts and characters,
and some that you loved a lot,
surely stabbed you at the back.

Some that you believed would never be away from you
were the first to proof what betryal was.
You learnt to love, care and be tolerant.

You learnt how to hate
and dislike,
you took examples from your childhood
and carried them to adolescence,
you vowed never to be like your father
and up until today you are still not like him.

You learnt how to carry you self well in public,
while standing up for yourself.
You led almost every group discussion
and you were always the up-front
person in class,
you forever said your words
and they stuck loud and clear into their hearts.

You became a rebel,
by not doing what the majority did.
You have kept your varginity up until this day,
and no form of drug has ever been diguested into you system.

You stood up against what you knew was wrong,
and you forever made things straight,
you didnt care whatever it took,
even being hated was never at any chance going to stand in your way.

You promiced yourself to be true to your own being,
you kept your diginty,
you left a smile on faces of those who felt secure around you.
You never lost confidence
and you didnt care what people thought about you.

You learnt to love,
accept,
apologise,
and forgive,
and up until this day you have forgave even that sharped knife that cut too deep.

Dear you i wrote this counting down to those few days left before you become a young adult.
I am proud of how you fought through all those trails.
You faced it all,
and no daughts have ever stood in your way.

Yours loving,
most caring,
the only comforter,
the only one that understands you.
The only one to never live your side,
the one that has always felt all the pain when you got hurt.

Yours loving friend...

MYSELF

I am a dream keeper,
not a dream destroyer,
surely i wish you all the best,
life is a journey,
eventually you will reach your fate,

i am a dream keeper,
i kept on hoping for a better future for us,
yet you destroyed my dreams with your new lifestyle.

You are a dreamer,
and i destroyed your dream of us,
the moment i walked away,
surely i wish you all the best.
I wouldnt stop you from what you want to do,

your passion for rap is what you chose,
while my passion for writing is what i grew up with.

We met as strangers with different characters,
tought each other new ways.
But when you chose your new lifestyle i surely couldnt support it,
you knew me as a writer from the very moment.

Yet i am not against you,
neither the love that we once had.
I am a dream keeper,
willing to keep you dream
and hoping it comes true.
It is your passion,
and the life that you chose,
wishing you all the best in all ways possible.

Sitting in the silence,
It was too loud to bare,
Nobody talking everyone wanting to get the right answer.
A little deep thought, a little carried away i became.

Just like the clock ticking,
There was the tap dripping,
The sound getting deep into my head,
It reminded me of the times i leaned on your chest listening to your heart bounding.

But quickly was my mind drawn back to class,
And the sound shattered like broken glass.
A climps at the tap across the room,
I saw your tears shoting out like bullets,
And i remembered how much everyone deserves a second chance.

"So do you still write?"
A close friend asked.
"Not so much, I haven't had anything to write"

She secretly wrote in black and white.
Typed, and edited her work.
But it was so unbearable to share,
She held all her present miseries she wanted left unsaid.

Even till this day they still stay in her secret place.
For those feeling and moments are hers alone  to keep,
And so many of them for her to burn.

She has been so broken,
That little girl inside of me.
She couldn't leap for joy no more,
Her worst burden was faking a smile.

The pages to her books, socked with tears.
And her passwords, changed every week.
She has been hiding this part of her from the rest of the world.
Avoiding her reflection,
But she couldn't do it for long.

Accidentally looking at that splintered ******* the mirror she had been avoiding all along,
she begun to speak;
"Okay, this has been going on for too long,
You are not broken,
You are not weak, you can go beyond the odds.
You are deserving,
How do you expect to keep helping others if you can't help yourself?
Wipe away your tears,
And put a smile on your face,
For you are surely the best,
The most amazing,
And the world needs you,
Be strong for them, and for yourself too.
You don't need a man to make you happy,
Neither to complete you.
You don't need comfort from nobody,
God is your comforter,
God is your love,
You are beautiful and wonderfully made.
God did not make you for this dismay.
He called you the light of the world,
It is time to arise, before your light goes up,
Stir up that gift before it is too late,
You are more than a conquerer,
So why do you cry?..."

She went on and on.
Though it at first felt so awkward,
She begun to feeling change;

The burdens on her shoulders melting.
The walls over her heart breaking.
She begun to see those tears drying,
Her voice a little more clear.
She begun to see that spark in her eyes.
She was breathing again.

And finally,
She saw her beautiful smile again.
And She knew that, that little powerless girl in her,
Had finally transformed to a woman.

If the simplest words as "Goodbye" meant so much to you,
forgive me for thinking that
it was just one of those normal days,
it meant nothing much for
i knew that i would see you soon.
But now i am on my knees begging for you to fogive me.

My apologies bouncing back at me,
like a little table tennis game am playing alone.
If "Goodbye" surely means so much to you,
then you must know that "Sorry" means so much to me too.
Atleast forgive me now,
and foever will i learn to say "Goodbye".

Believing to have a friend,
she warns you from someone else,
but later on you realise that,
that someone is now the new best friend.
I pretend all is well,
fake a smile,
creak a joke or two,
laugh louder than they do,
but inside my heart bleeds in betrayal.

Does your boyfriend do all these thing that I do for you?
Treat you the way I treat you ?"
It was clear why he was asking,
Everyone wants to look better than their opponent.

Then a moment of silence slipped in,
And a flash back of nothing swept by...
Those were all the memories I had with my boyfriend.

"He probably will also change when he has me,
right now he just wants to be the better man"...
I told myself.

"Of course!
He treats me well...
He even does more than I could ever ask for"... I lie.

If he had paid more attention,
He could have spotted my hesitation.
If he had paid more attention,
He could have known I needed a hug.

He could have notice the cry for help
Behind my smile.
That I wanted him to try harder.
I wanted him to convince me...
So I could know i was worth a fight.

But sadly he backed down,
Turn his back away,
And has never looked.
And I can't run after him.
All am left with is the promise I made to my lover.
And the thought of "what could have been"

The moon has become full
And like a lamp it glows.
The bets have come out to play
And I am still all alone.

After such a long day of thought.
That 3 hours paper felt like forever.
My shoulders still carry the burden.
I  am proud to have made it this far.

I had vowed to myself
Something that has surely been a fairytale.
The moon has become full without my love coming to pass.
The moon pushed us away
And am glad it did.

The moon has become full.
And from its brightness it signifies my new life.
My journey as a scholar has ended.
I might as well begin calling myself
A "jobless graduate" for a while.

As for our love.
Forget it,
I don't need it.

I miss having someone to glance through my eyes
And right into my soul,
Under the concealing smile,
And know that I am not okay.

I envy the woman you ended up with.
I bet she never needs to shed a tear or stay awake all night.

A 28 years difference,
You just turned 45.

My age uncomparablie to yours,
Yet my smile reflects your love.
It has been long without writing to you,
while yet i have a lot to say.

From all the toils and struggles,
I have seen you nearly at death,
Thinking that you would be gone for good,
and here you are celebrating your
45th birthday.

With a little smile on your face,
confidence and courage.
With the bold figure that you have,
i am glad to see you happy,
and here you are today with strength.

Thanking God for the gift of life he betowed upon you.
Do not let this day go unspoiled.
Praying that God adds more days to the ones you already have.

Happy birthday!

Another year gone by,
Atleast for 7 months the debate about who is older will not be heard.
Ohh boy!
An I so glad.
Its just silly to be wishing you a happy birthday,
But whatever,  you deserve it.

Wishing I could spoil your day so badly.
But luckily I ain't around.
Little-Old "bro" God has sustained you.
Wishing you a long life
And heaven at last.
May the good Lord guide and bless you.
Reminding you that every day leads to you being a man.
May you live to see your children's children.
(And also mine too).

A blissful and a happy birthday to you
With lots of love and care.

Surely I have grown a little.
But the narrative remains the same.
And I am at least glad that I was aware,
Aware of reality and that not every dream comes to pass

I finally stopped believing in farytales.
And I find my solace in the night sky.
My dancing have become terrible.
While in my solitude I stare at the sky,
I constantly see shooting stars,
Surprisingly my wish has stopped being you.
Any love?...
"Love"... What a word.

Frankly I my dreams are as terrible as my thoughts,
And so skipping sleep creates some form of comfort.
It is much a punishment as closing my eyes.
But then again that's the only way I can keep you from my thoughts.

I'v gotten too close to you.
I know you name,
Yes! your voice is a melody, you've sang to me!
Your eyes... Brighter than your smile.
I've gotten too close to you.

All of my curiosities have been answered.
Need I say more?
It's been six years and you still refuse to see me as anything more than a child.
We are four years apart what's your possession with want to be old?
I never bothered to find out your brother's age,
But I bet you don't call him son.

Well I was right,
You are indeed a gentleman by nature.
Passionate, loving and caring.
The thick barrier between me and the world,
To you is a transparent and turns to a thin **** of ice,
It melts away in your presence,
And everything I try to hide even with a smile you see.
It's been six years already and I still haven't met any soul like yours.
It haunts me to know that there is someone who knows me too well.

It was good to hope,
Yet I know I shouldn't have.
I took the first step,
And I know so we'll that everything was my fault.
I should have let go of that fairytale,
Yes I know!
I was in denial.

Love...what love
Maybe it's real and possible for some lucky people like you to find it.
While someone like me continues to drown in it's cruelty.
It's pains and betrayals.
It's broken promises and false hopes.

You said girls were the most vulnerable,
Is this what you were referring too./?

Dear God,
I finally took a step back.
I've raise my flag and chose to walk away.
Today marks 6 years and surely life must go on.

"There is Gift" everyone says,
he is just a mystrious guy to us
   that we all have never seen.
But i must i agree it is lovely to
        call out his name....

    His our "gift" but her "Gift"
a gift that remains still in her
                heart.
But i must agree to some little jealousy stuck in me,
for their love makes the world jealous,
 their calmness, leads to
  compromising.

She smiles all the time we say his name.
She forgives everytime things go wrong.
      Our "gift" her "Gift"
his name translated to Zulu "Sipho"
a friend has composed a song.
       Gift is the name,
the name of the guy that lightens up her day.
     Our "gift" her "Gift"
   she so much loves him.

My twin sister,
but from a dfferent womp,
i never dare to call her "Cousin".
Today she finally turned 16.
Ohh Boy! Am i so happy,
but i forgot to wish her
a happy birthday.
To busy too know,
school confusing as hell,
but i know her bitterness towards
me will be sweet once again,
for she has a forgiving heart (i just pray she does)

her sweet 16
my day so tiring.
Hope i am forgiven
Happy Birthday Little sis...

She always knew she loved,
Hating herself for doing it,
She knew she was in love with the wrong person.

He always knew she loved.
Hating himself for not loving her in return.
He always thought he was the wrong person.

Now she is not in love.
And he is.
Now he believes in them.
And she believes nothing of the existence of love.

They know they are in love,
But she had already been hurt in waiting.
And now he feels her pain too.

They could always ease away each other's pain.
But pride in many ways,
Works without thinking,
And I wish they could see it too.

Hey player,
i know you are good with your foot game,
passing the ball from one player to the other,
you sought for the right time to shot,
while you, player get me faded away.

Havent you seen who your best keeper is,
she knows a lot about you that you dont realise,
she keeps those little secrets that seem to be harmless.

Hey player its time you become a striker,
you'v been defending the goals from your team-mate for to long,
stop kicking it to your oponents,
i am right here!

A good goal keeper,
i can keep your heart too,
a good team-mate,
i can always be tolerant,
compromising,
and a lot of sharing,
i wont keep the ***** to myself all the time.

Hey player,
be fair,
i know how to kick the ball too,
but i am sure that i will save your heart from falling and getting hurt.

I have been in love a countless times before,
Maybe I thought it was love,
Because that is what I believed love to be.
Somehow things are now different,
A giddy and jouvile heart
Is fluttered by the thought of you,
My eyes shimmer even in darkness,
At the sight of the man standing at a distance,
He is the spotlight,
And I can feel the heat on my checks,
I am at awe,
I can't get hold of myself,

Keeping to his promises,
I find myself  awaken by trust
He shares his chest of treasure,
And I know that this is beyond special.

I can feel some energy hovering around me,
It's protection,
No it's love,...
Love that has gotten the bit of me,
and without it i have no home.

It is difficult to explain it,
To try and pour it all out,
But I can let you into my heart,...
Feel my heart,
Looking my eyes,
Take a tour inside my head,
Them maybe you will understand.

I found a home...
Home is Love

He sang songs of love ,
little by little i fell in love with them,
he thought it was him that i loved,
and he was surely convinced.

He told stories of his youth,
so daring and fascinating,
little by little they drew me closer,
he tough it was him that i wanted close,
and he was surely convinced.

He looked so funny,
and everytime i would laugh when i saw him,
he thought it was him that made me laugh,
and he was surely convinced.

He was so mean he made me cry,
he never thought he could have ever been the one to make me cry,
but he was the one, and i am convinced.

Before 23:59 on December 31
I was certain,
About my wasted feelings and hopes.
Love that was meant to be handed to the longing heart,
And not yours was put into waste.
I was certain I had messed it up.
And that was true.

I spent too much time in stagnation and thinking about you
When I wasn't in your thoughts.
I felt happy to leave my broken peaces behind.
And I couldn't ask for more.

My yesterday's meditation cured the little scratches that still ached.
I was revived and drowned into happiness.

I left my silly thoughts behind,
And am happy that you in my mind no more.
And in my own tight arms I am happy.

Today is 20:20 January 1
And I feel liberated from the thoughts of you that captured me with unforgiving claws.

I cried myself to sleep last night.
I wished you could be there,
To hold me close to you and whisper its okay.
It was one scary and unusual lala by.
But am glad I did not see its end.

I cried myself to sleep last night because I kept feeling I had lost you.
But today under the clouded afternoon.
I realise that,
The droplets of my tears melted your heart in your sleep,
And probably planted a short dream about me.
Because today you seem to have remembered me.

if only i could i would open up to the world, let everybody know that i care, but my hands are short i cannot wrap myself around them. If only i could i would let the whole world know that i love them for my Jesus lives.