There's more to life than just me, My worries, fears and anxieties,
There's more to life than just me, My wants, needs and desires, 
Yet My reality is all I see,
And my life begins and ends with me,
But hold on a second, when did it ever not?!
Who? What? When? And how?
Will these questions ever stop?
Marvelled by life I continue to think about my life or what I know as my reality!

His name was "betterdays", I always wondered why
Was it because better days had passed him by, i'd sigh
I hope it had meant he is living those better days but I know not of this truth or lie
"So betterdays" I say, I hope your present moment is always better

Better days are ahead I feel it in my bones
Better days are ahead the vibes have taken ahold
Better days are ahead just you wait and see
Keep those eyes peeled for love and certainty!

In the hustle of todays life its far too easy to forget how insignificant we are on this sphere that rotates around our mighty Star
Off course we are aware of this rotation but do we really know and consider the Wonder of how and where we are in a point in time
If we were closer to our Star or the majestic sphere had more oxygen than she holds ah we would know it,
but we know not nor do we ponder on the marvels of our Universal life just our single lives

In the beginning there was me ,
I was there in the middle too
and when the end arrives I shall hold my hand and embrace what is to come

These eyes have seen grievances and this heart has been broken a few a time but real love still remains and grows within,
for
I
love me....and that is no sin.

It doesn't matter what people think of me, it only matters what I think of me!

I'm only as mad as you led me to be!
Your teasing that exasperates my insecurities  
When will this stop?
When will you realise your jokes have zero humour within them?
How many times can I say this before I decided to lash out again?
You tread a thin rope which you cannot even see and that's why this will always be!

Ice cold like the snow you look at me
I see you analysing me
What do you see I wonder?
Do you see the lover you wanted?
The goddess you chose?

Has our connection faded like the melting snow?
Do you feel me slipping through your fingers Washing away those bonds we made?
conversations held to a minimum and hugs so far and few in between

Are we now strangers?
Disappearing joint plans and Separate friends
Meals for one with a sting
Just memories remain until they too fade
We've Evaporated

The most important relationship
You
        Can
                Have
                          Is
                              With
                          
YOURSELF.....

You can go but you'll never leave me
You can hurt me but I'll never suffer
For our perspectives differ and I chose to cherish you and your  shadow until my very last breath

You're either leading or learning!

I knew a boy named Paul his eyes a shimmering blue
When he looked am me it was obvious that he knew

My face full of flush and my voice  all giggly too
This blue eyed boy was so cute that Id have to stand in queue

The teenager years passed and his girlfriends came and went
My crush on Paul still smelt of heavens scent

The time came to wish Paul a final goodbye
School was over, my heart echoed a sigh

As I sit hear writing I wonder what became of Paul
Is his name still scribbled on the old brick wall ?

I guess I'll never know and I'm fine to keep it that way
But Paul if you're wondering you took my breath away

Remember that.....
Today is the only day and that.....
Now is the only moment

Giving starts with The Self and ends with others

Because only doing it gets it done!!!

When I give to you I give to me

"I have your back", "I have your back" is what you used to say
Now you've gone, my back remains without your hand in it's way

Your leaving me did not destroy me more than it annoyed me
Your silence did not ******* me more than it left a ripple in me
But it's ok I still vibrate

The clock went tick followed by tock
The years have passed by whilst you've hidden behind that rock

This mind can dream of a thousand stars, a sea of galaxies from here to Mars
This mind can dream a thousand deaths, gruesomely freakish till I awaken with scars

Your silence has said more to me than your words ever did

My Best buddy  
You claimed to always be there
my rock
We never knew it would happen
But then you changed
You outgrew me
No contact
No explanation
Just silence

I'm not perfect nor am I imperfect... I'm
human

It may not matter which way you go.....but what will matter is your perspective on your choice

Are you existing or are you LIVING?

In being free you can capture many hearts

Experiences are either easy or they help you to grow

Silence can be so deafening

Last night I dreamt of you
You were there alive and bold
And I woke up wishing you were there to hold
Although the dream ended with loosing all my riches
The happiness of you being there had me in stitches
The dream wasn't long nor was it short
It was just enough for me to feel your support
And when I awakened with a smile upon my face
It was the first time in ages I hadn't felt misplaced
So tonight again when my head touches my pillow
I hope you'll join me under the weeping willow

Self pity
You love to indulge me
You Captivate me with your thoughts
Where both Pain and salvation are intertwined

When will you loosen your grip, I pled
When will this be over?!

I listen for a response....

A reply, when you decide it has to stop...

It ONLY takes a change in perception to be:

Happy

or

Sad

Is this the real me ?
Shy
Understated
Insecure

Or is there another me , the real me
Waiting to explode
To be seen and heard
Full of life and confidence

Moments alter as time passes
Who am I?

It's been a while since I wrote for you
But I've always know that Expression is a special gift to give to oneself
Not because only a few people can express themselves as that is untrue
But because expression brings curiosity, growth and freedom
And if others are touched by those expressions the gift gives more than it could have anticipated

It was 4am and Bill bit me
My two arms soar and itchy,
I awoke in discomfort which quickly turned into anxiety and anger
Scratching to ease my pain which temporary ceased
Thoughts of my life, work and my insecurities burned to my attention
******* Bill! I sighed, he's awaked my anxieties too early
Seething now, feeling redder and redder I wondered why Bill didn't let me be
Id had enough and got up to apply some lotion
Slowly my pain began to soothe and I drifted away
Awake now at 9am
Somewhat calmer, my insecurities still present but other thoughts present too
I ponder on what lotions I can use

My hand I give to you, but my heart belongs to me...

Tonight I sleep in peace because I deserve nothing less than peace

I saw my path the other day
It was dark and eerie
I continued on this path as I saw no other way
Id heard stories where the sun shone and the flowers bloomed
but id never witnessed this way
Darkness clouded all and time nor Season needn't exist

But then Sometimes darkness gave way to grey but rarely did grey give way to the Sun
Id sometimes fool myself into thinking that the Sun was a dream that didn't really exist

When suddenly Light appeared, flowing here and there and in its different forms; music, dance and friendship
Until I wakened to view that I see what I see and I feel what I feel

He says my wish will be his command, but the truth is, my wish will be my command which in turn will lead to my happiness

As I open my eyes I see you laying there peaceful
I feel our psyches intertwined
I'm Memorised by us
I nudge you to feel your comforting embrace
And as planned you embrace me and fall into slumber soon
I'm awake but caught in a drowsy state of bliss and worry
I shouldn't be here with you
I don't belong to you
My focus upon you once again
I resist not to embracing you again
A comfort I'm willing to get lost in and never to return from
You embrace me once again
I close my eyes and we lay peacefully until the dawn

Where you are now is ok
Explore it further and you will see it could be worse
Ponder on it even more so and you will realise it's where you are supposed to be for now
and when the time shall come you will be in another place wondering why you were ever uncertain and over analysed it all

As I watch you pass by I'm in awe by your gentle rhythm on a landscape of endless blue
Overcast by you, I dream away
How can I be closer to you?
How and why do you exist ?
And of course there are several answers, but I continue to ponder over you
For my heart craves for the mystery in you and to be with you
So I continue to watch and wait until such a return home to you, to me, our resting place
As I watch you pass by I'm in awe by your gentle rhythm on a landscape of endless blue

12 steps towards the top
Underneath the candles yellow drops

Lighting the way in a spiral fashion
The yellow flames burn with poise and passion

Shadows and reflections catch the eye
A beauty and grace that no man can defy

Gracefully she'll burn until end
Freeing herself to transcend

Once you learn to be comfortably alone, being in company will be a wonderful gift...

at your own pace you fill yourself up with good thoughts, a gradual build leading to a much fuller space
Your unique essence being released into the world
And as you feel the returned good vibrations of those you touch on your journey, you become aware of what filling yourself does for others but also for you
A high of all highs with views you never knew existed
Flowing with life and it's exciting twists and turns
You appreciate just where you are and how far you have come

Be mindful as your thoughts become your shadows...

Somewhere along the lines I decided that staying in the corner was best for me. The world was too scary and that I had to protect myself in order not to feel pain, but the pain that I felt after was much more than it could have ever have been with to begin with.  Eventually my thoughts turned into habbit which led to behaviours a belief and then a way of life. Being older does not necessarily mean being wiser but with growth comes awareness and  Im beginning to see that staying in the corner is no longer the salvation I thought it was and is in fact my hell. If life is a box then I want to experience the full four corners of it!!

You are far but your warmth surrounds me as though you are lying next to me

The warmth of you is like a cool summers night
With one kiss you quench my thirst
Summer how I love thee

When the pain become too much .... salvation may come in the form of unconsciousness