Expected and wanted you waited eagerly
9 months of loving your tummy oh so tenderly

Through sickness and pain you kept your cool
Time passing you by for the moment of truth

Then came blessed Reuben, a gift from above,
your first born, your new hope to nurture and love

I ask you to seek beyond your current sight and to hear beyond your current sounds. Think beyond your current thoughts and be beyond your current being.
Submit I say
Submit I urge
Submit I announce
And when you submit all to me it is only then that you will Experience a deep contemplation of bliss and only then will you be able to know that I am to you as you are to me.
A new awaking
Freedom
Freedom
Freedom

12 steps towards the top
Underneath the candles yellow drops

Lighting the way in a spiral fashion
The yellow flames burn with poise and passion

Shadows and reflections catch the eye
A beauty and grace that no man can defy

Gracefully she'll burn until end
Freeing herself to transcend

If you watch a candles flame She
burns calmly and with such strength
Her integrity is never in question

She can soothe your soul as she disappears into the atmosphere
And Dancing her majestic tune she can capture you

Predictably unpredictable she lights the darkness in her unique way as she sways

Tranquil she remains, the knower of her own destiny she burns for our peace

If you watch a candles flame She
burns calmly and with such strength
Her integrity is never in question

We started of as colleagues
Professionals at our peak

Talking to one another
When days and nights were bleak

Working and socialising as friends
And then we'd meet

This friendship turned to lust
With its hot and steamy greets

We played with one another
About once a week

With strong feelings and emotions
I fell at your feet

You held me up for a while
Until your retreat

Your caress then turned to desire
For that only we would meet

Looking back I try and wonder why I did not see
You've left me there exposed you liar, you traitor you cheat!

It doesn't matter what people think of me, it only matters what I think of me!

As I open my eyes I see you laying there peaceful
I feel our psyches intertwined
I'm Memorised by us
I nudge you to feel your comforting embrace
And as planned you embrace me and fall into slumber soon
I'm awake but caught in a drowsy state of bliss and worry
I shouldn't be here with you
I don't belong to you
My focus upon you once again
I resist not to embracing you again
A comfort I'm willing to get lost in and never to return from
You embrace me once again
I close my eyes and we lay peacefully until the dawn

He says my wish will be his command, but the truth is, my wish will be my command which in turn will lead to my happiness

Acceptance of oneself opens the doors to true living

A hug is what Im sending you
I'm holding you close so don't you move
It's warm and tender and loving too
This hug has been built in mind for you

The reality of it is that things were never as bad as they seemed in your nightmares

Be mindful as your thoughts become your shadows...

It was 4am and Bill bit me
My two arms soar and itchy,
I awoke in discomfort which quickly turned into anxiety and anger
Scratching to ease my pain which temporary ceased
Thoughts of my life, work and my insecurities burned to my attention
******* Bill! I sighed, he's awaked my anxieties too early
Seething now, feeling redder and redder I wondered why Bill didn't let me be
Id had enough and got up to apply some lotion
Slowly my pain began to soothe and I drifted away
Awake now at 9am
Somewhat calmer, my insecurities still present but other thoughts present too
I ponder on what lotions I can use

I'm only as mad as you led me to be!
Your teasing that exasperates my insecurities  
When will this stop?
When will you realise your jokes have zero humour within them?
How many times can I say this before I decided to lash out again?
You tread a thin rope which you cannot even see and that's why this will always be!

I'm weary, I hear myself say
My eyes closing as I walk on my way
The day just beginning when all I wish it to do is go away
Weary of the day ahead, what's gone and what's yet to come
This weariness draining my heart through my noisy head

The chill of the breeze my weary heart wanting to cease
And then the loving sun shinning her rays upon me, come closer I beg of thee
Take me to another place
Do not disappear near that cloud I say
wash away my weariness today

In being free you can capture many hearts

Humankind
Togetherness, units, entities
All created as neighbours, to live in harmony
Yet history can reveal such destruction
inflicted by these very neighbours

Delivered to this universe to co exist
Not as one, but as many, but co exist
To learn from and to teach one another

Growing through the centuries
Excelling in their lifestyles
Sharing as brothers n sisters
And mothers and fathers

Love binding them through life's
same and also different troubles
Supporting one another
Lines blurring within one another

Building a better future for all mankind
People, animals and nature alike
Making our maker proud
For what has been created

Benevolent and most loving
For that's the real unforgettable Humankind

You let me see what you wanted me to see
Your hopes, your love, your life
When all along you hid your trueself
The anger, hurt and pride

I married you in good faith
And tried to make you happy
Nothing seemed to help
Not My love, our children nor the  money

You were the love of my life
So special and adoring
But now I see you are so cruel
You are but my boring story

I thought you would change back
into my special guy
Instead your threw it all away
on women, smokes and others  

50 years have passed us by
Our children and grandchildren grown
But no matter what
You still remain as hard as a stone

We have but a few years left in us
Lets move on and make up
Be my loving lover
The one whom I still love

Poets, composers and writers we are
Looking to convey happiness and perhaps scars

From hope to love and death and sorrow
Expressive lines filled with feelings of tomorrow

Some may be long
And others short
Some may even contain our deepest thoughts

Therapeutic and knowledgeable
And some worrying too
Our verses can also uplift the most saddest of moods

Inspired words as well as our own notes
Sometimes with or without double quotes

Eagerly penning our lives away
Sometimes to feel and sometimes to keep those monsters at bay

Exhilarating, freedom, the release of pressure
Making us feel new or sometimes fresher

Love for words and thoughts equally
Some of us are novices and others literarys 

Imaginative and creative is what we are
Aiming to reach the faintest of stars

Lyrical, rhythmic and sometimes wordy
Our heartbeats race as we become sturdy

Promoting our poems through lists and sites
Making good friends with critics who help us to seek new heights

Poets, composers and writers we are
appreciating others for their talent by far!

I knew a boy named Paul his eyes a shimmering blue
When he looked am me it was obvious that he knew

My face full of flush and my voice  all giggly too
This blue eyed boy was so cute that Id have to stand in queue

The teenager years passed and his girlfriends came and went
My crush on Paul still smelt of heavens scent

The time came to wish Paul a final goodbye
School was over, my heart echoed a sigh

As I sit hear writing I wonder what became of Paul
Is his name still scribbled on the old brick wall ?

I guess I'll never know and I'm fine to keep it that way
But Paul if you're wondering you took my breath away

I sit easy watching you from afar
Your golden hair flowing in the summer breeze
The twinkle of your deep blue eyes they do capture me
You catch my eye and you're all so shy and turn away from me

I seek to see you smile
But distant you remain from me
Talking with friends and laughing
I watch in awe

I walk over to where you are to greet you
Eyes finally meeting
More beauty I see than I've ever known
Could this be mine truely
I calm my heart

Talking and waking
Radiant both within and externally
I want more Of this joy
I'm Blessed to meet you

We laugh and talk like great friends
Lost but now reconnected
In these Green  lush fields

Our time coming to a close soon
The boat begins to board
Holding your hand we embrace and I watch you smile
A single kiss for a true love that never ends
A remembrance of all memories

I whisper in your ear
'Until we meet again'
A final embrace and we depart

I sit uneasy watching you from afar
Your golden hair flowing in the summer breeze
The twinkle of your deep blue eyes they do capture me

I hear you beckon me,
The Sea she echoes She breathes
Follow me for a time to a place to be
And you will see, you will feel, you will know where you belong
And if you find this time and space blissful
Why not stay a while and visit when you can

Though times may be challenging never underestimate the brightness of YOUR light and where it can lead YOU!

I'm captivated by your soul that belongs to her

My cracked ceiling way up high
I see it here as I lie
It moves not and is white in color
This ceiling though is full of honour
Strong and silent
And of course dependable
This ceiling is now my only cover
Holding steadfast throughout the house
This ceiling knows my every doubt
Come rain or shine, sleet or snow 
This ceiling I know will never lie low

So I, d book my ticket and wear something light
You'd pick me up and think wow what a sight!

We'd drive around for a while
Like teenagers we'd embarrasely smile

Once I'd figured out that you weren't a serial killer
I'd ask to see your place and double check your chiller

I'd meet your kids and we'd play some games
They know what you don't and thats my first and last name

We'd take it slow and you'd understand
You'd simply begin by holding my hand

You'd check to see if I was ok 
and then lean in to take my breath away

You'd kiss me softly and then very hard
I wouldn't mind as it was always on the cards

You'd scoop me up in your big strong arms
It would be easy to see that I had fallen under your charms

We'd find some place comfortable and notably quiet
I'd wish I had started that **** liquid diet!

You'd lay me down and pull me close 
My heart beat racing, like god only knows 

I'd tease you a little and then a lot
All the time hoping you'll find my soft spot 

Breathing so deeply and shivering away
Our bodies playing out as predator and prey 

Thrusting hard and in synch
We don't dare move out of place, not a inch

Cries and moans released into the night
For we both want it there is no fight

Sweating and panting are eyes and
hearts would lock
I'd know you were born to be my rock

Feelings of love and the becoming of one
Would leave us entangled until almost done

So engrossed and swept away
You'd reach my core in your own special way

Both satisfied and fulfilled 
Totally taken aback by this our new thrill

It's my new job today
But I'm not here I'm away
Lost in thoughts
Where I am always distraught

Off I go to start my day
I need to make a good impression, I say
Be focused and sharp, proactive and smart 
You can make a go of this, just play the part!

Life could be worse, people would say
No money, no job or a place to stay
Those are the most important things to some
But to me those things are immaterial 

Peace of mind and happiness is key
Nothing or noone is more important than these!

Once you realise how valuable you are you will realise you are priceless

Arguing like its a war that must be won
Voicing my right thats right
Your opinion differs so strongly it's not the same at all

Lacking unity and understanding
Not agreeing on the big things
Things that matter and that should be set in stone

We are different and it's more evident when we are alone
Bickering, being spiteful and sarcastic are what we know

Lashing out at one another in different ways
We found we don't fit yet again
The anger builds up and the venom starts to spill like a burst tap

It's out of control
Be careful
Be safe and don't push too much

I want to run in the opposite direction from you
I''m not bad or wrong
We simply do not agree
Who is to blame, the truth is no one

Until its calm again and we make up
We agree that we simply do not agree
And let the truth settle
That is that are two worlds trying to co exist as one, a challenging task for anyone

Minds are different as are the thoughts within them
Can two minds ever be the same
Yearning for one outcome

Can love conquer all
Will it prevail against everything 
Maybe
Maybe not
Time will tell 
For that remains untold

Is this the real me ?
Shy
Understated
Insecure

Or is there another me , the real me
Waiting to explode
To be seen and heard
Full of life and confidence

Moments alter as time passes
Who am I?

It's been a while since I wrote for you
But I've always know that Expression is a special gift to give to oneself
Not because only a few people can express themselves as that is untrue
But because expression brings curiosity, growth and freedom
And if others are touched by those expressions the gift gives more than it could have anticipated

RAT
A nothing, a joke
He's not worth it, they say
Why do the poke

I am human, I say 
I have feelings too
Is it too much to ask
To be recognised for my truth 

You look away
As you don't like to see
It could happen to you
Like it happened to me

I made mistakes
Not huge ones you should believe 
It happened bit by bit
No envy for me

I ask for your hand 
A kind word and a smile
Instead you turn away
Looking at me and my bile 

Anyone can fall
And are able not to rise
Help me my child
And you could end up changing my life

I learnt a new word today
Forlorn, penned a fellow poet
The feeling of pitiful, abandoned or lonely
How this poem spoke to me
About you, but more clearly about me

Can I resist you Forlorn or will that increase our connection ?
Will I resist you Forlorn or have our existences now been firmly welding together?

Self pity
You love to indulge me
You Captivate me with your thoughts
Where both Pain and salvation are intertwined

When will you loosen your grip, I pled
When will this be over?!

I listen for a response....

A reply, when you decide it has to stop...

You're either leading or learning!

I visited Stratford-Upon-Avon one sunny day
I Saw the beauty of the swans and an old Shakespearian play
Statues and churches with stories to be told
I listened intently to learn about history 400 years old
But my favourite by far was sailing on the River Avon
who could not be enchanted by the character of the black and
white timbered haven?

Take a hold of me I beg thee
Kiss me like you cannot see

Slide your hand along my knee
Until you meet my love mystic

Caress my ******* eagerly
Let me be your fantasy

Tell me what you want from me
I'll play it out, it'll be your treat

Tenderly and passionately
We'll both be in ecstasy

I hate the way he makes me feel
On edge I behave like I'm made from steel

Teasing me, he thinks it's a joke
Talking to him makes me need a smoke!

Am I too touchy when he jokes?
I feel like I've got a child that coaxs 

I'm barely living this life of mine
I wish I could have just declined

It's a struggle everyday
Everything in everyway

When will it end? 
When will it start?
These are words I utter in the dark

Iced over
I'm too sober

Whiskey my lover
My cloud cover

Heat seeps in
This is no sin

Joy speaks
I see great peaks

Melting ice
She smells of spice

Heated passion
With compassion

Morning dawns
On the sunny lawn

Realisation it's morning
I slip out, no forewarning

Iced over
I'm too sober

I used to cry so much
that I felt it never stopped
I cried about what had happened
and how he was so lost

I cried about the future
and how he would survive
I cried about his reaction
which was so unidentified

I cried throughout the day
morning, noon and night
I cried of all the hurt
and sorrow I felt inside

Now when I hear good news
I cry, oh boy, I cry!
For its now these special hope filled stories
that bring a shimmer to my eyes

at your own pace you fill yourself up with good thoughts, a gradual build leading to a much fuller space
Your unique essence being released into the world
And as you feel the returned good vibrations of those you touch on your journey, you become aware of what filling yourself does for others but also for you
A high of all highs with views you never knew existed
Flowing with life and it's exciting twists and turns
You appreciate just where you are and how far you have come

Somewhere along the lines I decided that staying in the corner was best for me. The world was too scary and that I had to protect myself in order not to feel pain, but the pain that I felt after was much more than it could have ever have been with to begin with.  Eventually my thoughts turned into habbit which led to behaviours a belief and then a way of life. Being older does not necessarily mean being wiser but with growth comes awareness and  Im beginning to see that staying in the corner is no longer the salvation I thought it was and is in fact my hell. If life is a box then I want to experience the full four corners of it!!

The friendships you had yesterday might not be the ones you have today and the friendships you have today might not be the ones you will have tomorrow, so accept those who leave, embrace those who are and be excited by those to come!

The highs and lows of the tide continue, but it remains to be seen what will wash up on the shore...