Right now, I ran out of words to start my poems because I'm just waiting by the door to see your face or even to hear your name called by anyone.
I lied about loving him and the truth is I've only been in love with you.
You're my skin to my body,
My lashes to my eyes,
My nails to my fingers.
At first I didn't know what the purpose of them being together on each other, but when I fall for you, it seems like my questions are all have been answered. You seem useless to me at first, but actually we were made to complete each other, because without you I wouldn't know what's under and what's above, without you, I wouldn't know what is the meaning of a true love.

Bruises he hid
Punches he got
Every sunny day was black and grey
No arms that can hold him
So screaming under the water was all he did.

Love wasn't his
But quite,crying and falling was always in him
So fragile
So innocent
So sweet yet bitterness surrounded him.

"Help!" He shouted
But the slap,the fire and the redness
was way louder until nobody dare to listen.
He wished he could become a man
But he was just living in a can of beer
And he already surrounded by fear
So he took one last step
He jumped from above
With tears that were already clear.

Is it bad that I need your arms to be my blanket to keep me warm through December?
Am I needy if I want your breath on my neck to be
the live giver to my butterflies in my body?
Why should we run if our legs are numb?
How do I finish if the lines doesn't even exist?
If honey can be sweet, why shouldn't we?

The smell of the hot chocolate
warms up my little morning
and your hugs warm me up like my sweater.

Let's come out and enjoy this snow,
let's play around
and love all along this winter
so I could look at your eyes around this white weather before all of this is over.

in a minute,
I'll be crying, sobbing under the moon
sometimes under the sun.
in a minute, I'm worried about him,
about myself, about everything.
in a minute,
I'm worried about my future,
my present, my past, my everything.
in a minute,
I could be in my bed, studying,
learning, sleeping but mostly crying.
in a minute,
I feel like my friends are my family,
my home because they're always there
to hear, to support, to cry, to laugh
but why did God made me so fragile,
sensitive, insecure with a little bit of self esteem?
why do I have to be this kind of boy?
why can't I do sports, watching football,
flirt with girls, be confident?
I'm so sorry, sorry, sorry and sorry
for a million times if your ears are actually
tired of my voice, tired of my noise.
I don't have anyone anymore,
please I'm begging you,
stay with me, forevermore.

Remember when we used to lay down on the field, looking up until we see clouds?
Then we create faces like we were a poet trying to say the words from our mouth but only laughter that came out.

Remember when we stayed up all night,
telling stories that were probably weren't real but we did it for our scaredy *** and couldn't sleep that night?
We were like directors trying to create some corny horror scenes from our head but our pants ended up filled with ***.

Now, when I look up to the clouds,
I see our childhood painted in pure white and I  paint them in my empty dusty canvas that I found  in my basement.

a cold night
with hundreds of stars
there we were
trying to count the stars
trying to find what's inside
trying to understand
what is this feeling in our heart.

the acoustic guitar that you always play
the sound of the piano that lingers in my heart
the warmth of our hugs
the memories in our heart
we were clueless
we were dumb
but the love felt so real
felt so calm.

we were too young
too innocent
and too serious until everything messed up
the glass in our hand shattered
it dropped hard to the ground
it left us with scars in our hand
the story that we made didn't end with happiness
neither it ended with angriness
but it ended with laughter
because we were just a child
just a kid trying to find what is love.

We stayed up all night
listening to our voices
talk softly under the dark
and I've never taught
that I'd fall in love
again, it's my luck.

So I hold your hands,
kiss your lips
and stare into you;
Now I'm ready to shout it out loud
"I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU".
Then, she kissed me slowly
and passionately
under this snowy weather;
Again, I fall in love with this girl,
it's insane.

counting the stars
like I count your heartbeat
when you're near mine.
one, two, until I stopped at a thousand,
yours stopped at one hundred
but I promised to love you even it's a million.

I admit that every look that you give him
makes me feel like I'm alone in this blizzard night.

I want to hold you
and kiss every inch of your face
so I could show the world
that this night is mine
and this girl beside me is always going to be mine.

Words I wish I wanted to say
turns out just to be the smoke from my mouth that was caused by this lonely snow.

I won't let you go,
so I list out what I want so that you would be under the tree
when I wake up;
Hold you close and we'll stay under the mistletoe forever because today,
I'm going to make you my girl and my favourite present ever in the world.

Warm when it's winter
when I hug you and you'll be
my fireplace by the end of the day.

I call you mine because you're
my fairy tale that I dreamt of
once upon a time.

Deep far in the forest
but I know you're waiting for me
just right at the end of the river
just to kiss and love me like
you always do and like you
always will.

here I am, looking to the sun
trying to get into my afternoon thoughts;
trying to find the right words to my poetry;
trying to find the right tune to my music;
trying to find the right right one to my heart.

I know I'm one who isn't blunt
and I don't know how to learn feelings,
but I stayed up all night
trying to remember every part of your face
that I've studied.

your petals flew with the wind
chasing the birds that's flying
so you can taste the clouds on your skin
and I'll be down here waiting
hoping that you'd find your way back
even when we decided to sail
different route, my fleets going to south
and yours to north.

when one day we meet again,
I hope the war has ended
and the men are cheering of victory
even though the other side is burning
I hope our love will remain still;
even as a flower and a bee.

They say that tonight,
Wishes do come true.
Then, why am I not in front of you?

Santa, I'm not asking for a lot of gifts
And I don't even have a long list,
I just wish for somebody to love me
At least just temporary.

Here I am, fighting for the last breath
so I could write about you
and I could wonder about
how I used to see you as a stranger
but now I see you as a beautiful
rare flower.

Singing on the clouds
while they hold my hands
and we're looking into each other's
like we're some sort of a band.

A minute where I want to relive again
because it hurts when I remember
all of the things that we did together
and I tried to play it like a song
but it kept turning into a hum.

This state is where I know who's bad
and who's good,
what's the purpose of a power
and realize who was my root.

I failed and I've won
yet, I still don't know who I am
because this is where I study feelings
and I learn love, I learn him, I learn her.

I was caught
and trapped in something big,
bigger than any of my emotions,
bigger than my words;
yes, I am caught in a country named love.

Every time he feels
like he's going down,
I'm spreading my wings
ready to fly down
and grab his hands
and bring him back,
back alive and trying to stay in his life.

Yes, my wings are my legacy
but I didn't say that I'm ready to grow
like a tree and become someone
that will shelter their shadow.

I know how to fly,
but every time I jump,
I pretend like I'm stupid
and fell to the ground
just because I don't want to be bigger
than who I am right now,
just because I don't want to be bigger
than where I am right now.

when your body becomes mine,
I can feel our skin speaks love
like I felt when my skin was on her
and you feel familiar,
like your eyes speak the way hers did;
but my feelings feel foreign
even though our mother tongue is the same.

i've been thinking
that drowning is fun
and guns are a playground.
knives are sharp
but an incised wound looks fun
and voices are way too loud.
i don't have a home
but breathless in the water sounds warm.
love faded as people said it is a sin;
i'm just a kid who's trying too see
but my breath fogged up the glass
and now I only see me in a room hanging,
lonely and sad while people are judging.

When the thunder passed
its negative charges,
it went right in me
and now I live with it.
As I grow old, I realised that I tend to plant my flowers without even watering them but I know they're going to withered and I still do it anyway.

I grow old and I see things in different perspectives, I see fire as water, smoke as fog, summer as winter, and I promised I have fought and now I feel down, very down, like an ocean-deep-down but who gives a **** anyway.

As our eyes met,
I could feel the spark
like an electric met with electric
and a shock happened there.

I could feel the way you look
cause I was feeling the same thing
as you
right in the middle of a crowded room
but you only saw me
and I only saw you.

Our hearts glow like a sunrise
it shows,
and in that moment I felt like
your body is mine
and my body is yours.

But time passed by,
we looked into each others eyes
like it meant nothing,
nothing like the first time.

I created a world,
but all I can see is words.
Never feelings, never emotions.
Just words.
And it hurts because all I can say is just non meaningful words.

I thought the ocean was waving
but it's only me
dancing around the sand
creating imagination
and end up red in embarrassment.

dreamy skin
that used to hold me softly
I don't know what to do
I'm missing you,
so bad I'm missing you
now, fire's gone but
the rain is still there
thunder won't stop sounding inside my head
and I feel like I'm just writing words
without even saying and meaning them.

Close your eyes and there'll be a beautiful magnificent garden of roses
waiting to be explored by the right person
who will hold you tight in this whole new world
of true and trust me that late nights won't be so blue.

Wild and nasty words can be dangerous
but wild yet truthful love can be colourless
if your whole new world isn't shared with me.

Everytime you wake up, I promise you
that today and tomorrow will be
just fine if you let me be a part of you.

I can hear the moon is crying and the stars, they all are sobbing rain tonight; I can hear the sun is sighing in Cali with the clouds and was hugged by the sky with lightning getting angry every minute.

Why was I too blind?
Why was I too kind for someone that relies on me with nothing to be given? Never realized.
Why was I singing to the moon like a lullaby I try to sleep the thoughts of me loving you endlessly, ever so it was a beautiful flight.

Dear sunset,
please don't go away
I just want you to stay
don't let it end today
cause I am so afraid.

Dear river,
please walk me by
and tell me "it's alright",
hold me when I cry
just hold me tight tonight.

Dear sunrise,
please don't be awake
cause I won't be await
for you to make me rain
and mourn tomorrow
like I did today.

Dear starlight,
please let me make a wish
so that she can filled with rich
of happiness and love
and be happy up above.

Never been born to feel loved by someone and by someone not meaning my roots but a bee who'll go to the chosen flowers if it thinks that they're pretty enough to be touched, to be discovered by researches, to be plucked by humans, to be sell at the florist, to be the one who will heal upon a curse.

Maybe it's true that love doesn't exist.
I guess romance had run out of it's capacity for billions in this world as I remember that candles too has its finishing line as it run in its lane before it all goes blackout once again.

Water tastes like whiskey
as it slides down to my lungs
and create a disease.
Sedating my emotions
but then somebody else controls me.

Love doesn't always
end like we planned;
it could be tragic,
sometimes messed up
but when you're with me,
I know that the future held our story
like the way we wrote,
like the way we thought.

Can we go back?
Back when we laugh
Back when we play rough
Back when we all thought we're so tough.

Running under the blazing sun
Hugging each other with so much fun
Dancing under the rain untill we forgot what is pain
Telling stories like there's nobody around
Yeah,I miss playing with you on the ground.

No beeping sound because all I hear is laughter
All I hear is love,wild,loud flower.
There we were,crying together under the tree trying to be like a bee.

Now that it's new
I miss drawing with you
I miss playing with you.
Now that it's new
We forgot about playing at the parking lot
We lost in what we got.

Saying goodbye is the hardest
But like every other book,we grow old and forget each other.
Goodbye my love
Goodbye my wonderful world.

I just want to lay my head
on your chest
while you sing me a lullaby;
Let me win this game of chess,
don't want to hear anymore "goodbye".

Our space felt cold,
colder in December
while warm has gone along the season
yet we let it snow like we never cared
for each other like the flowers never bloom in spring.
"Why do we let it dry like it's the middle of July?"
you asked, but never try.
So we left searching for the universe
but hoping it would bring us back;
ran asking for a moment to breathe
but never knowing how long is the track.

our romance linger around the room
and our eyes dancing in the crowd
while you're sitting
and I'm leaving out.

tried to sleep that night
but the moonlight kept me awake
until dawn arrived with a new sunrise
but I'll still await
for tonight
so that I can see the moonlight
clearly without any haze.

I'm asking myself what do I want,
I'm asking myself who do I want,
I'm assuming that everything
will flow slowly
but I'm wrong and I knew it
but I decided to just keep believing
that we're still looking into each other's eyes like my heart still beats the same beat as you.

Our voices are gone,
so did our melodies and our songs
that we used to sing.
I was waiting for love inside the cafe
and I realized that we ran out of things to say.

I thought that I am one with you,
I thought that you loved me too
but when I was down,
when I was drowning,
you were with her inside her room, kissing.

I closed my eyes and as my tears fall, I said "Congratulations, you have won this game"
and left all of it behind
because you never need me again.

When he said
that he could be something he's not,
I believed,
I believed that his storm
could be cleared
And that his eyes
could look only into me
Just me, and only me.

When he's inside,
I lost control and said
yes to heaven and no to me
I lost control and let him play
like I'm his poker cards and tell
all of his friends that he won
a game of bet.

We slowed dance in a ballroom
and I put my head onto his shoulder
closing my eyes
and let the dance happen
even when he's on his phone
texting her while dancing with me.