Goodbye is all that can be uttered
We all knew that if anything else was said then,
They would come
They would come and take away all that is good
For every light shining upon us,
There is a darkness that has not been noticed.

If any other word had a strong impact,
It would be said,
If there was any action that can be done,
It would happen.
Unfortunately,
Miracles are not the cure
Only time and healing.

Oh how I swore to never utter those words
Only time and healing is the cure,
I have never believed it,
Why should I tell a tale that is not true?
I should not bite my tongue
I should not be disgusted by my words.
But it has finally happened,
The world has broke me.

And for that I bid everyone a good day
A good afternoon
A good night
There is nothing left to say if lies remain true,
There is nothing left to say when no one speaks
There is nothing left to say to an empty room
Filled with people
With nothing original in their minds.

Wonderland
The place for those who are mad.
But how mad is mad?
How mad can you be in a stressful day?
How mad can you be with something out of your control?
March Hare says he’s late for an important date.
Cheshire leads in the direction unwanted but needed.
So tell me,
How mad can wonderland be?
Loose screws
Lost ideas
Clueless identities
Tell me Alice,
So just how mad would you like to be?
As you know,
Only the best people have gone mad:

January
The time of the year where new beginnings take form.
February
The time of love and heartbreak. You give your trust and the receiver may do what they will.
March
The harsh icy shoulder starts to thaw and you see the raw side of people.
April
Showers of tears cleanse the soul, making the body ready for new truths.
May
Flowers and new hopes bloom. Whether they flourish depends on the upcoming months.
June
The beginning of summer and new relationships whether they are friends or more.
July
Mid summer and just beginning of finding who you are.
August
End of summer, end of freedom. Our minds soon captured by the education board.
September
The start of school and new intelligence to be gained.
October
One month in and everyone is burnt out, waiting for break.
November
Crawling on the ground, trying to just hold on for a little longer because next month is
December.
Presents and joy now to come. School ends for a week and the restart is pushed.
Until next year...

It’s coming!
Closer and closer
It’s coming for all of us.

The walls are closing in,
Oozing the jelly from its victims.
That’s how a loving in made now
Take the people,
Sell the remains.

Oh no.

It’s here,
Am I next or are you?
Not sure.
We’re standing side by side
Two peas in a pod
And now they have come for us.

The walls of October.
Beware,
They aren’t as nice as they appear.

It’s the place where we float in the sky
Feel free from all the worries
Feel free from the burdens life has set
It’s the place where we can let go,
Fall from the cliff
Spread our wings
And
Soar far and wide.

It’s where eternal happiness resides,
Where nothing is everything and
Everything is nothing
Then the long awaited reunion can finally happen that has been years in the making.

Joy radiates from you and them and it seems unattainable but it’s a matter of believing you can.
You now can relive what has lost
You now can rejoice in talking to those once lost.

This is the place where the shadows can no longer hold power over you,
For they have disintegrated from existence.
For they have submitted the themselves to the light of a new day.

This is a place of dreams.
Heaven.
It truly feels like heaven to me.

Give it time they say
Everything will come into place they say
Don't fix what isn't broken they say.
Apparently comfortable is all people are used to.

I'd like to believe that we all would take a risk
Do something extraordinary
Do something that will amaze people.
The rare people who do exactly this are revered
And yet nothing is done.

We hold the people to go out of the box at a high standard,
Yet we still stay in the nest.
We're sitting ducks in the rapidly changing world.
When will we realize that it's time to fly the coop,
That it is time to rise from the ugly duckling faze.

I don't know about you but I do not wish to be one of them,
I wish to do something with this limited life.
What exactly?
No clue.
But isn't that the best thing about this world?
Even if we don't know,
We can experiment.

Everything has been said
Everything has been documented to some extent
What is the point in changing when everything is all planned out?
Why can't there be a reset or delete in life for that one moment?
For that one time where I've acted out of character?

There never is any forgivness
Only constant reminders of what I have done.
What  will never lie down.
Who can live like this?
It is a crazy way to live.

Everything you do defines you they say
Do not slip up
Do not look at someone the wrong way.
Everything has a consequence
Everything has a reward.
For whom?
That is for you and I to figure out.

Only four years of this.
Only four years of the judging
Then it is off to a better place where all of it melts away
Where all the drama is left behind,
Waiting to be revisited in ten or twenty years.

Goodbye.
Hopefully for a long time
Because I am not going to the sequel.

Not again!
Don’t let her near me again!
This happens every time.
I just want a break from her
What do I have to do to get a day off.

My friend is right next to me!
Why can’t you just go for her.
No! Please!
Have some mercy woman.

My friend is right next to me
Why don’t you go bug her huh!
I have to deal with this 24/7
And she’s sitting pretty.
No way!
Not gonna happen.

I ask for a week off
It’s a simple ask
Yet I’m still on the clock.

What do I have to do to get away from you?!
I didn’t ask for this
I didn’t want to to be with you

But I’m still here
Stuck.
Serving your needs hand and foot.
The servant to the master

The shoe to the foot...

I tend to hide
My mind screaming,
My thoughts buzzing,
But nothing escaping my mouth.
All of the questions,
Comments,
Are bottled up.
Never to be heard,
Never to be understood.
It's never one's fault
Sharing emotions is a norm,
It's more abnormal.
How I admire those that can.
The truth is so much easier to come out
When it's with people who understand
when it's with people who've gone through it as well.
Maybe tomorrow it will change.

It floods your veins
Filling your body with relief.
You can feel your muscles relaxing,
Your body can now take a break.
No more tensing,
contracting,
just calm,
peaceful.

You soak up the words to their core.
Slowly becoming one.
Internalizing what they have to say.
They have struck something deep within.

It is the kind of feeling
you would want everyday,
a high to stay on in forever,
free from the thoughts and stress.
The chains of reality are momentarily severed.
It is the feeling
that you would never want to lose.
One that envelops you with warmth and comfort.

The words speak to you,
they promise hope for the future,
they promise things will be better.
They entice us and make us believe in what could be.
The words are motivation to continue on
The words are an outlet.
They hold a multitude of emotions,
they hold trials
failures
dreams
experience.
The words are a reflection of what has happened.

Music invades the soul
capturing all that is found
and all that is lost.
Music allows a break from reality
it allows us the chance to be transported away
to be understood by others.
It is the binding agent for everyone,
whether it is acknowledged or not.

It's the shot of relief
to help us continue on.

I’d like to think of myself as an island
Floating all alone
Seeing people pass by without a care
Sometimes I wonder,
When will it be my time to be noticed by a ship.
And then you came along.

You showed me what it was like to be seen
You showed be what it was like to be heard
And for this I am eternally grateful.
Your friendship has given me support.
You understood when no one else did.

My island may be alone,
But when you come to visit it becomes home.

You will get what’s coming to you
When? I don’t know
What I do know is that it’s coming.

You’ve stabbed me in the back,
You’ll soon pay.
What makes you think that the world is on your side?

The world always find justice
And justice will side against you.
Mark my words.
You’ll pay.

Time knows no boundaries
No one is untouchable
Anyone can be affected
Time travel is the theory of salvation
to undo our mistakes.
But mistakes are our experiences
Alter them and we could all
Achieve the perfect status.
Time in the universe
Time in space,
It means life.
Every fragment of your life
Kept on a record
Never forgotten.
Time,
where seconds turn to minutes,
minutes to hours,
hours to days,
days to weeks,
weeks to months,
months to years.
Time,
It means the life that could be
and the life that is the present.

Boy it has been a while
My has time flown
Long time no see
How have you been?

Words of pleasantries
Often heard too many times
Often the source of stress
What to say
Should it be the truth
or
Should it be mixed in with lies

Do these pleasantries really wish to hear an answer
or
Are they said just for something to be said
Are they said as a form of greeting?
How does one know when there is someone they can open up to?

Pleasantries,
Words that can take the joy out of socializing.
Every social function,
Every reunion,
Long time no see
How have you been
Anything new?

Boy has it been a while
Since I have walked into a room where greetings aren't needed.

Don't cry my dear, everything will be fine
Don't cry my dear, all will be shared soon enough.

That's what they have said for years now,
Where is the support when I'm knee deep in an endless mental battle,
where is the support when I am all alone.

Don't worry my dear, just smile and wave
Put up a mask to hide the truth,
Give the people what they wish to believe is true,
Never let them in.

But then how can they see I need them?
How can I let them know that they are exactly what I need at the moment?

Don't worry my dear, help will come soon.
Find the one person to trust,
Never let them go.

At least they mention something that is practical.
A person to trust is the rarest thing of them all,
Once found, keep forever and never trade it for what seems more valuable.

Don't worry my dear, I have finally come to save you.
Thank you for staying in your mind and not saying anything.
Thank you for being isolated for all these years.

No, thank you.
You've shown me what life should be.
Not relying on the words of someone whose left me some time ago.

To what do we owe lives
Or should I say to whom do we owe our lives.

There is a time and place that we should be reflecting on something like this and I feel that during this strange event,
we should take advantage of it.

To whom are we loyal to
Our families
Our friends
Our values
Our morals
To whom do we answer to when we need to be uplifted.

What is the answer that we so desperately seek in life.
Oh how I wish I knew
But I think that in this time and place,
Reflecting is the best that can be done.

We reflect on
the past events
the worries
the joys
the life events
the welcoming
and the parting.

We have so many events to be thankful for and to learn from
But what so we have to give to those who have gave to us?
What can we do for them
Especially at this point in life.

Here I am
Writing to you
Writing to someone that will never respond
Talking to a brick wall
Yet here I am
Still making the attempt

What can I do?
Is there something I can do to change this dynamic,
It has been years.
Years since my heart last skipped.

What can I do to make it leap once more?
To feel again what it is like for you to look my way.
To feel again what it is like to be cared for.

So here I am,
Writing to you.
My lifeline being tossed out,
In hopes that you will come to rescue me.

It’s amazing, it is
How people can go about life without a care
How people can say one thing then the next
It’s amazing, it is
You think that you know someone
And then they turn around
Saying the opposite of what they told you
Why does it happen you think?
Why does this confusion happen?
Why does anything happen?
It’s amazing, it is
How can someone hold so much inside?
How can someone be so bottled up?
Bottled to the point where they may burst
Bottled to where they may blow any time
How can someone be so isolated?
Maybe it’s by choice
Maybe it’s because they feel it’s the only way
Maybe because they haven’t found someone
Someone to confide to
Someone to trust whole heartedly
Someone they know will be there
Someone they know will support anything
It’s amazing, it is
How some people find it so easily
How some people can be a group
And then be so close with a few
It’s amazing, it is
How someone can feel so alone
When they have people around them
When they have ears willing to listen
But the only ear they want
Is someone pushed away long ago
Someone that offered but the way panicked
It’s amazing, it is
How an opportunity can go by so fast
How an opportunity may not come again
How small the time limit is
But you know what’s really amazing?
How we can contemplate this in our heads
But never verbally
Because of this is ever put into words
Then something has become real
Something has been put into the world
Something that one may regret in the future
Now that’s amazing

They’re coming
Hear them roar
They’re coming
Hear their battle cry

Out for blood
Out for revenge

They’re coming
And there is nothing you can do

You invited them
You used them
You gave them all of this power

Now it’s time to bow down
Time to surrender
Time to put your life in their hands

They’re the pots and pans
And they dictate your future

Like most things there is a time to leave,
a time to leave the nest one was raised in.
But the question is if the flight out will be smooth.

Will you glide on ice or end up hitting rock bottom?
Either way this is learning of the survival.

Unlike previous species,
we are taken care of until a number deemed "adult."
Other than some exceptions that is when we take off
when the wings are spread out to engulf the air of what is new.

Sticks and stones break our bones,
but they will forever leave a scar of a lesson learned
good or bad.
It is these scars that show the growth longed for
problem is that the path for this growth seems to be an outline.
It has been a marked trail for most in their lives
so traveling off the beaten path holds a sense of uncertainty.
It is either embraced, ran from or lived on the cusp.

Learning is done by experiencing by doing or watching
but how can their be learning with only
one teacher
one voice
one person
speaking to you
giving the answers and guidance.
There needs to be an abundance of people involved.

One's skin thickness does not grow overnight
but over a period of independence
where you understand how to do something
who you are
who to let into life
who to cut out
and mix in some wishful thinking here and there.

We want to plant our roots
let them expand
let them tell their story
but that is just a wish masking the underlined work.
Knowing the time to leave is the start of this growth.
Unlike other species,
we have deemed a certain number to dictate when growth starts.
Along with the exceptions,
we grow
we get cut down.
It is all endured because of a base, a wish, a dream.

tick tock
your time is up
tick tock
you're almost done
tick tock
time to give up
tick tock
you've been caught
tick tock
time to confess
tick tock
any year now
tick tock
the clock has struck
tick tock
liars begone

you thought you could succeed
think again
the clock has struck
and now you're done
all will know
all will see
what you have done
justice comes to all
when and where
are the factors that wait
for the perfect time
the time when it will matter most

tick tock
i've let you in
tick tock
and now we will see

It’s too much,
The world, the expectations.
It’s all too much.
How can you put this on a teenager
I’m still learning who I am in this world
And you put this on me as well?

Did I do something wrong for this to happen?
What can I do to fix this?
All of these stereotypes are not me,
So why are you trying to make me conform?
Why are you trying to turn me into the norm?

It’s all too much.
You expect me to do a lot of things
My life is only so long
I can only do so much
Don’t force to me to become a perfect human
Don’t force to me to be who I am not
It’s my life
And you’re making it too much to handle.

I need to figure it out on my own
Without any guidelines to hold me back.
I will reach my potential
All you need to do is allow me to succeed.
You may be surprised at what you see
You may actually be proud.

Just give me a chance
And I’ll prove to you that
I can create you’re too much,
Into a just right for me.

Where am I?
Please can someone tell me
Where am I?
I’m lost and confused
Can someone please be my guide?

It’s dark and cold
I’ve already ran into something twice
I’ve lost my mind 5 years ago
I think I saw it here

Can someone help me?
Tell me where I am

Someone is here
They are coming
Can someone help me?

They are here for me
They are here to take what I only have
They are waiting
They are watching

Help me please!
I’m lost in the forest of my mind.

Can someone hear me?
Can someone hear me?

It’s so dark in here.
So many days, so many nights

Can someone hear me?

Set me free
Please
Anyone! Someone!

I’ve been in here for a decade!
I hear growling,
I’m scared.

I’m in over my head,
The liquid!
It’s going over my head.

Help me please!
I’m stuck in the bottle

What happens
When someone has no one
When there is no one to lend an ear
When a your mind comes crashing in at once
What happens then
Do we go through the motions as usual
Do we waste away and drown in thoughts
Do we question what’s being said
Do we finally choose to open up
What happens next
Beats me
If only the answer was clear
Because if the answer was clear
There would be a shining arrow
Pointing the way
Lighting the path
If all of that was true then we’d have bliss
We would have peace
But then what
The next wave rolls in
Crashing into the tranquil shores
Crashing through the walls just rebuilt
Crashing any bond with once formed
Now it’s back to square one
Back to the drawing board
Where will the dart land next
But when it lands
Will you take action
Or
Will you continue into the same path

You say you understand
You say you can relate
But when I come to you
Seeking advice
You're gone like the wind
one moment you're there
The next
You've disappeared,
Out in the wild
Right back to where you came from.
Why understand me
When you can't even be my support
I'm falling in an eternal wasteland
Never to be found,
Never to be rescued.
You say give it time to heal
But I have,
It's been years
And nothing happens.
Stop
Just stop
With the false hope,
With the lies,
With the sympathy
Because the truth is,
You don't understand
Nor do you want to.
Congratulations,
You've got what you wanted
My crushed hope,
My crushed spirit
Yet with all of this shown to you,
You still don't understand.
Sad
Yet true.

they flood your mind till you cannot think
cannot dream
cannot function
they flood your mind and completely take over.

there is a never a rest taken
one by one the words consume you
your drowning in the words
every letter
every syllable
the meaning of the words haunt you
to the point of no escape
they are the ghosts of your past
they will never leave.

keeping you up at night
keeping you awake till god knows when
rendering you unable to function
all those regrets
all those past mistakes
take form at night or in daydreams
they haunt you
hound you
bombard you.
they do not take a break
no matter how much you wish they would.

you have given them the power of you.
they are the everlasting ruler
never to be dethroned
never to be slayed.
all those wishes for them to disappear are rendered useless.
why try when the scales have already been tilted permanently?
why try when they have your mind on lockdown.

will there be a time where I can escape?
where you can escape?
escape from the words
the actions
the past thoughts
escape from what was once reality
but now just a terrible memory.

they have flooded our mind.
never came knocking
but came barging in
made themselves at home
nice a comfortable at our expense.
now what?
what to do.
if only I knew...