Everyone has someone to depend on
Everyone has someone that will listen and understand
Must that be nice

How long did that take?
To let someone in.
To let someone see everything with the trust they won't judge.
How long did it take to muster the courage?
To let someone see the scars of my mentality.

It seems too much,
It seems like a hefty ask.
Yet
It sounds so refreshing.
To have someone to completely vent to,
that can be relied on to listen and not go away,
whose a permanent fixture rather than a temporary presence.

How long did it take to realize a physical being was needed?
How long did it take to allow light into the darkness?

I must sound insane if anyone could listen to my thoughts.
I am haunted by past words,
Haunted by the possible future,
Haunted by people I have let go of in fear.
What happens if I finally find someone I think I can trust,
But then push away just as quickly.

In times like these, it may be better to just stay in the dungeon
Stay hidden
Bottle it all up
Not a good choice but it is the default settings I am programmed to
Can I be re-programmed soon?
It gets kinda lonely in this dungeon of thoughts

Plenitude
in the heptagon
of gratitude
natural pride
the abominable defied.

I focus
so much on
that tiny piece of
paper that comes in
      every little cookie
          And when I don't
                Get that little piece of paper 
                            My day is ruined and         
                              nothing seems to matter anymore
              Why do I rely on such a tiny piece of paper?
               Generalized for the masses
          To give me something to look forward to.
        This means nothing
But it meant something in a moment,
and it could have meant something so
much more
If it were in the cookie.

you deserve your best
it is your right to achieve
but your responsibility also
the world owes you nothing
take (or create) what is yours
forge your weapons
win the wars you wage
but remember to respect
the freedom of others
lest it comes back to you

apocalypse
one is happening
before our eyes
one we caused
disguised by lies

money
what they make
from the week
they become hooked
to the relief they seek

zombies
are what is left
nothing to regret
souls left waning
while the industries are gaining

You are so close

I can see you on the horizon

You are my salvation

The closer I get

The more I realize

When I touch you

You’ll disappear

You were never really there