The Straw You Harvested
Let’s make a doll
Just like everyone else in the village.

But you hid it—
The part eaten by insects,
Deep inside the doll.

I volunteered
To become a scarecrow.
To protect the precious rice.

Rain doesn’t bother me—
I’m bound tighter than the others.
Birds don’t scare me—
I feel no pain; I’m just a doll.

In the blazing summer,
The other rice stalks rejoiced.
Insects swarmed,
Birds came to feast.

Before I knew it,
My shape was no longer my own.

And then I found it—
The place you had hidden.
Tears fell—
From both relief and hatred.

A traveler from another village passed by.
“You’re not a scarecrow anymore,” they said.
“Look down at your feet.”

My gnawed branches had split into two.
“The pattern on your chest is beautiful,” they said.
“Now, try making your own legs.”

And they left behind
Everything you had hidden—
Laid gently at my feet.

Lord God, you are the author of life and creator of all good things. Everything is yours and yours alone. But I don't always (or often) act like it. I try to rely on myself to find success, to find my worth, to overcome challenges, to have control over my life as if I don't or can't trust you to provide what I need. I'm sorry. I have a hard time letting go. Letting go of hurt, pain, sadness, anger, jealousy, and I miss the times that were beautiful and filled with joy and love, laughter and peace. I'm sorry. Help me, Lord, to surrender my control to you. Help me learn to let go and give you all of me, keeping nothing back from you. Take the good and the bad Lord, and through your great grace, blanket me in your love and bless my heart and soul with a profound peace that comes only from you. I don't pray as often as I should and, many times, I talk too much and listen too little. Help me be patient Lord and give you a little time as you have given me this time that I have.

When I pray Lord, take me away to the secret place. Take me to where you are, take me into your most sacred heart. When life is just too much to bear, show me just how much you care. When life is simply too demanding, bless me with peace that surpasses all understanding. When the winds are fair and the seas are still, my soul as well is mirror tranquil. When the storm is swirling mad with rage, you will hold me and my fears you will assuage.

Thank you for this Peace.

Amen

Emotions are
Hard to express

But you’ve got
To move on
And reset.

Living like
You’re in hell

Damaging no
One else but
Yourself.

It’s not complicated
But it’s harder than
You’ll ever know.

Sometimes you
Have to face
The truth

And sometimes
You’ve got to
**** it up.

It’s not easy,
But persistence
Is key

You can’t do
It all for show.

You’ve got to
Put the effort
In yourself

And grow.

To a master,
There are only slaves.
To a lord,
There are only subjects.
To a king,
But vassals.
To a boss,
Are only subordinates.
Yet, in reliance
Who rules who?

Everyone has someone to depend on
Everyone has someone that will listen and understand
Must that be nice

How long did that take?
To let someone in.
To let someone see everything with the trust they won't judge.
How long did it take to muster the courage?
To let someone see the scars of my mentality.

It seems too much,
It seems like a hefty ask.
Yet
It sounds so refreshing.
To have someone to completely vent to,
that can be relied on to listen and not go away,
whose a permanent fixture rather than a temporary presence.

How long did it take to realize a physical being was needed?
How long did it take to allow light into the darkness?

I must sound insane if anyone could listen to my thoughts.
I am haunted by past words,
Haunted by the possible future,
Haunted by people I have let go of in fear.
What happens if I finally find someone I think I can trust,
But then push away just as quickly.

In times like these, it may be better to just stay in the dungeon
Stay hidden
Bottle it all up
Not a good choice but it is the default settings I am programmed to
Can I be re-programmed soon?
It gets kinda lonely in this dungeon of thoughts

Plenitude
in the heptagon
of gratitude
natural pride
the abominable defied.