Lately
I've been asking myself
This question:
Do I still love you?

Yes,
My heart still skips a beat
Whenever your name flashes on the screen.
My cheeks still turn red
Whenever our eyes meet.
My lips still curve into a smile
Whenever I think about you,
Which I do.

But do I actually love you?
Or do I simply miss
The memories,
The good times we've had?
Am I holding on to nothing?

Unfortunately
(Or is fortunately?)
I don't know the answers
To these questions.

They called him
A problem child.
"Failure."
"Disappointment."
"Good for nothing."

And so these words
Stuck with him
Formed his identity
Shaped his character.

Until one day
He couldn't take it anymore
So he jumped off a building
And all his problems
Seemed to vanish.

Oh, ocean
Take me away
Envelope me in your waves
Wash me away from the shore.

Freeze me
Numb my pain
Let me drown
In your vastness.

Let me sink
To the bottom of the ocean.

"Sweet dreams,"
My parents would say before we went to bed.

If only.
For my dreams
Were nightmares
Grotesque, twisted monsters
Would run after me
In a dimly-lit forest
Only to have
A car come by suddenly
And run over me
Causing my organs to burst
And blood to stain the ground.

They said,
"May your dreams come true!"
Forgetting that
Nightmares
Were dreams too.

Cloaked in black
And sparkly purple sequins,
Waving his magic wand in the air.
He performs
In front of one crowd
After another.

The audience gasp in awe
As he pulls a rabbit
Out of his top hat.
People wonder,
"How does he do it?"
When he performs yet another card trick.

Finally the show is over.
The magician stands on the stage, alone,
Getting ready for his next act.
Magic,
It may seem mystical for the ordinary person,
But to the magician,
It's an everyday thing.

"Oh my gosh, you're so lucky!"
She said to the one who received so much praise for her work.
Hiding the fact that
She was feeling pure jealousy
For not getting noticed herself.

"I totally ship you two,"
She teased her friend who was crushed on by a boy.
Hiding the fact that
Deep down, she wished that
Someone would think she was beautiful too.

She was too used to this routine
Of using fake laughter and weak smiles
To conceal her glares,
Gritted teeth,
And tears.

What will it be like
To kiss you?

Will it be
Romantic
Your soft lips
Pressed against mine
Our eyes closed
Savouring the moment
Arms wrapped around each other
The epitome of perfection.

Or will it be
Hot and passionate
My back against the wall
Our bodies pressed tightly against each other
Your tongue in my mouth,
And mine, in yours
As my hand gets entangled in your hair
And yours, stroking my skin.

Will I experience an eruption of
Emotions, feelings?
Will it leave me wanting more?

Well,
There's only one way to know.

The world is
One huge
Jigsaw puzzle.

Everyone is a puzzle piece.
And just like how
Every puzzle piece is unique,
How the puzzle would be incomplete
Should even just one piece go missing,
Everyone on earth is unique,
And the world would be incomplete
Without any one person.

Except me, of course.
I'm merely
An extra piece.

When I was young
I imagined myself
Riding dragons that breathed purple fire,
Discovering a tree that grew all kinds of fruit,
And living for a thousand years.

Then I grew up
And learnt about fashion and popularity.
I imagined
And yearned
To be the prettiest and most popular,
To catch the eyes of the cutest boy,
To have the most followers on Instagram.

Nowadays, though,
Such wishes no longer exist.
Instead,
I imagine myself
Jumping off a building,
Ending up with broken bones and severe loss of blood,
Or drinking lethal poison
That will freeze up my blood.
I imagine myself dying,
And oh,
How I wish it would
Come true.

It makes me feel
Lightheaded and fluffy
And makes my cheeks
Turn bright red
To think of my hand
In yours.

It's such a unique gesture,
Holding hands.
So intimate
Yet innocent.

Our hands will fit perfectly
Our fingers interlocked
Like the right pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.

My heart will beat faster
Your cheeks will turn redder
And we will feel so much closer
To each other.

Your grasp will be so tight
It'll be impossible to let go.
Just like having the world
On my fingertips,
Literally.

Why are all the beautiful things
In the world
Ephemeral?

They're short lived,
Here today and
Gone tomorrow.

Just like a beautiful flower.
That lives for only a day
Before disappearing,
Disintegrating,
Blown away
By wisps of the wind.

She no longer
Imagined them
Kissing, cuddling on the couch
One day.

She no longer
Waited anxiously
For him to reply to her message
Sent an hour ago.

She no longer
Spilt her secrets and feelings to him.
Expose her other side.
She kept it all in.

For she knew
He had left.
Just like everyone else.

She no longer cared
About him.
She tried not to,
Anyway.

I'm sorry
For feeding you with lies
For breaking our trust.

I wish I had never done that
That I could turn the clock back.
But I can't.

Now we never talk.
We don't even say hi.
And it's killing me
Inside.

I saw you walk past me
In the hallway today.
I turned my head back
To see you,
My eyes filled with longing.

Surprisingly,
You turned back too.
But just as my hopes went up
I saw
Your cold, unforgiving
Glare.

We were like a beautiful glass vase
Until one day
The hammer of Lies
Broke the vase
And tore us apart.

All that was left were
Fragments
Little pieces of memories
Sights, smells, sounds.

I tried picking up the pieces
And gluing them back together
But I never succeeded.

For the fragments were there
But the little shards
Were swept away by
The wind.

I cannot compare
Your swift actions
To the cool breeze.

I do not have the
Linguistic abilities
To describe your eyes
As the epitomes of beauty
I could get lost in.

I cannot fathom
How others
Can so gracefully
Liken your hair
To the rustling wild grass.

But I can whisper
To you
Over and over again,
"I love you."

Targets shifted,
Arrows fell.
Strings are broken,
Hopes are dashed.
People lead,
They're admired.
We see,
We try.
We fail,
We cry,
We hide.
Tables are turning,
Worlds are changing.
Everything is tumbling down.
Or
Are lies now easier to tell?

Distance
Is not just about being miles apart.

Distance
Can be about
Being a road away from each other
Yet never having the chance to meet.

Distance
Is not just about different time zones.

Distance
Can be about
Chatting online everyday
But replying with only "yes", "no", or "k".

Distance.
It hurts more
When you're so near
Yet so far.

His eyes
Were bedazzling.
Sparkling,
Electric blue.

My heart
Would skip a beat
Whenever
I looked into them
And he
Looked back at mine.

One day
Our eyes met, yet again.
This time,
It lasted longer,
My heart was beating faster.

And suddenly
It stopped.

I don't care if you
Throw sticks
Or stones
Or grenades.
You won't hurt me,
I'll pick myself up.

I don't care if you
Call me stupid
Or ugly
Or a failure, a disappointment.  
You won't hurt me,
I'll shut it all out.

I don't care if you
**** a frog
Or rob the bank
Or starve for days.
I won't bat an eyelid,
That's what others' did to me.

I have been made
Cruel and heartless
By this warped, greedy world.

If it won't affect me,
I won't care.

Her sadness
Was not beautiful,
Neither was it poetic.

Rather
It was a kind of desperation
Hopelessness,
That would scare others away.

And that's why she hid it behind a weak smile.
That's why she'd never tell.

I'm not a masterpiece churner.

You can't expect me
To sketch out
Expressive eyeball
After expressive eyeball.

You can't expect me
To finish colouring
My drawing
In an hour-long art lesson.

You can't expect me
To come up
With in idea
In five minutes.

I take my time.

But as they say,
Good things come
To those who wait.

I'm afraid to stand out
And be different.
What if I look odd?
What if I'm judged?

I'm afraid of using big words,
Even though they sound beautiful.
What if I use it wrongly?
I'll be thought of as a fool.

Most of all,
I'm afraid
Of telling you
That I love you
Everyday.

It's meant to be a cute,
Sweet gesture.
A way of
Reminding you
You're the best thing
In my life.

But what if
It slowly becomes a mere routine for me?

Worse still,
What if
One day
Your reply is,
"I don't, anymore."?

Maybe one day,
Sometime soon,
I'll be brave enough
To send it to you.
For now,
I'll leave it unsent.

She tried to fit in.

But she did it too well and ended up blending in with the black and white background, unnoticed amongst the vibrant, colourful individuals in the crowd.

So maybe she didn't do that good a job of fitting in.

You scream.

You yell.

You pretend to disappear,
In the hopes someone will notice.

Starving, craving for attention.

No one cares.

But then,

All they have to do is whisper,

And all heads turn.

The world through her eyes
Was full of objects, events
Half of which she'd never care about
And the other half
Would never care about her.

The world through her eyes was
Monochrome, black and white.
Everyday the same painful,
Torturous routine called life.

The world through her eyes
Was colourful, too.
Filled with a rainbow of personalities and characters
She would never become.

The world through her emerald green eyes.

Everything was beautiful, fascinating,
Other than herself.