when my head
is on your chest,
i like to think that
your heartbeat
is just "i love you"
in morse code

i'm on a one-way street
playing a game that takes two.

somehow, you have a really nice way
of blowing things to pieces
and then finding a way
to piece them back together again so that,
with your eyes closed,
you can't even tell they were broken.

i was probably high when i met you
but now i'm out of my mind cause i love you

i learned to live without you
but that doesn't mean i wanted to

I'm wrapped around your fingers.
Your fingers are wrapped around my neck.
Choking the life out of me.
Breath by fading breath.
The Killers playing in the background.

and if this is real, then where the hell are you going?

my whole life i’ve been learning to write,
but no one ever taught me how to love you

now you and i are nothing,
which is at least something,
because they say nothing lasts forever.

and all i ever wanted was forever with you.

i'm not looking for god,
but i'm down on my knees.

you're ******.
i'm *******.
we got nothing left to lose.

i've got a lot to tell you
about how maybe
our story wasn't made to be told.

in chlorine soaked clothes
we take our highs with our lows
you'll know when it shows

all i want is you, baby,
but you're three hundred miles away.
that, and...
we're over now.

i can't always be
whatever you're wanting
and
whatever you're needing.
especially when you're needing
me.

if you can't stand to look a little deeper
you don't deserve to stand by me.

We blew up over
Bomb Pops.
The red, white, and blue kind.
Our tears pooled while in
Swimming pools.
The chlorine kind.

i've always wanted to introduce you to all my friends
we sacrifice ourselves just to break ends
we're abused
we're confused
and maybe feeling a little used
welcome to hell as you've never seen it before.
it's under new management.
we hope you enjoy your stay.

my promises are, at best, overcommitted lies.
your words are dull and mean less than before.
we are aesthetically pleasing and so we stay.
we both think we're the one
and so we are.

but now all i can do is send up a prayer
that you won't leave me
when i leave him there

you see my scars, but they see my lies
you see my stars, but they just see my skies

i drink cause i keep it bottled up

one day, i hope that i'm so good at writing apology letters
that i never have to write another one.

we know i can do both.
i just got to figure out how to do both of them
at the same time
and keep them seperate.

getting high without you isn't even getting high,
just feeling down because i know i'm at my lowest point.

I wanna die before I'm old.
I wanna chop off all my hair and dye it pink.
I wanna live in LA and go to art school.
I want the American dream that no one sees.
I wanna do dumb things with people I just met.
I wanna be a musician and play at bars with my band.
I wanna go to the beach at midnight and dance.
I wanna live while I can.
I wanna make it through the night.

who would have known that
heaven with you
would hurt like hell

heavy is the crown, but only for the weak.
i suppose that i'm weak, then,
because without you i can't keep my head up.

The lucid nightmares of a dreamer’s sleep
Pray to the Lord, your soul to keep
The vibrant shapes of a colorblind sight
Your angels watch you through the night
The violent yells of a peaceful fight
We don’t live until morning light

isn't it sad when
there's more equality
in the math on my paper
than there is
in the society of our country?

i'm working the game,
but you stay working me.
none of you are the same,
but i'll still take all three.

a lover?
no.

a liar?
yes.

i'm counting every sin
and trying to drown my pain in
benzos and cocktails
and it never really fails.
no one else has noticed i'm
never on time.
i'm always alone
or on my phone.
my speech a little slurred
and the roads a little blurred.
i cover up what i'm feeling
with meds meant for healing.
my intentions are clear
but the end's kinda near.
all 'cause i ended us.
it's cool af though.
i swear.

i may not be able to break your rules,
but they sure as hell won't break me.

The death of a sophomore.
Pull up by the side door.
You get what you ask for.
Guns in the bottom drawer.
****** floors in the drugstore.
A life for an even score.
A ****** at 5'4".
The drug lord of a drug war.

lately, i've been hearing that you wrote
someone else's name on your heart
but lord knows that all the sharpie in the world
couldn't cover up what i carved there

we both knew that we were in deep.
we knew before it even started.
actually, we're not even that deep.
only six feet under the ground.
prematurely dead and overly tortured.
both feet in the grave.
both with one hand over our eyes.
both with one hand over our mouths.
by the time we saw, there was nothing left to see.
by the time we spoke, no one could hear.
we were just that deep.
just deep enough that we can't go back.

We tried so hard to escape.
I guess my heart got caught on the barbed wire.
I sat on the fence and watched you leave, watched you leave me behind.
My fingers locked in the chain link, my body paralyzed by the spotlights.
I’ll always be locked up in you.

There are four pill bottles in my cabinet.
1.) Vicodin for the pain, the agony that comes in the night, the suffering.
2.) Prozac for the numbness, the void, the grey space in my brain.
3.) Ativan for the insomnia, the late night tears, the constant thinking.
4.) Xanax for the panic, the racing heartbeats, the walls closing in.
I'm working on a couple more.
There are four pill bottles in my cabinet.
All of them are almost empty.

you stay forever see through.
you say, "I can't read you".
all I need is you and nicotine.
a month ahead, got to keep it clean.
daytrip took it to ten, again
and it's not the same as it's ever been.
you wanna drink just a little more.
you want a hit until you hit the floor.
you wanna go until you can't anymore.
but i don't think i can anymore.

You smell like cologne and formaldehyde.
With your Day-Glo eyes, you knew I’d lied.
Green lights under ******, red skies.
No more cash in the bank, no more time we could buy.

my lipstick matches
the color of your blood on
my manicured hands.

how can i reach for the stars
when you’re the only thing that lights up my life

your love wasn't convenient
my love wasn't commonplace
sometimes i start thinking we're crazy
but then again, there's nothing quite like you

the only reason that i miss the old you
is that the old you was with me

i wonder how long it'll be until i'm finally okay
with everything never being able to be okay again

you can't build a kingdom with someone who still wants attention from the village

you are the soundtrack to my life.
your breath is the rhythm to my walk.
your heartbeat is my refrain.