The blood of many, the salt stained pink
A girl sitting pretty on the brink
And, inhibitions aside, a body to sink

i wish the child-locks on medicine bottles
worked on people that don't have that childlike innocence
anymore

your smile is sweet like ice cream,
but people like us have sensitive teeth,
and all of our words are just too cold

you were my world and i spent my days
spinning circles around you.
i just wish i could've prepared for the cold
before i remembered that seasons change.

head rush, you were my drug
then i fell in love and it killed me

hindsight is 20/20
and all i can see is you.

Summers of baseball fields and
Decaffeinated Dr. Peppers.
Volunteer work because we had
Nothing better to do.
Meaningless crushes and
Unabashed flirting in the
Sweltering heat.
When July bled into August I thought
I would never see you again.
But tonight I saw you again.
My shame burned behind my eyes and
My memories brimmed, threatening to spill over.
Suddenly, I didn't want the bubblegum ice cream
We used to share.
I remembered your laugh and the way your eyes looked in the hot sun. I remembered how we played hide and seek with our friends for hours on end just to have an excuse to escape. I remembered the tan lines we collected and the times we had water gun fights just to have something to do.
All at once, I remembered how I left.
I remembered how I hurt you.
I remember how we yelled until you left.
I knew I was sorry
And I knew that you were the one who got away.
The one I set free by leaving.
The one that I would never forget.
I'll always want you back.
I'll never get over you.

It just rained
Bullets
Puddles in the streets
Blood
Water falls down
Tears

human

you best save yourself

before i can
sink my claws into you too.
uh oh.
here i come.
i suppose i didn't notice until it was
far too late.
oops.

and there's weight to this gun
and i don't mean the mass.
and i number my days,
don't know which one's the last.
but when it comes down to it,
you can't break unbreakable.
when everybody's pressed
the fake is unmistakable.
it's sunday night.
you call me when you're drunk.

i love you now and i'll love you forever
i just hope that i'll have the chance to love you again.

a white picket fence and blue shutters
describes the house i see in my mind.
a quaint and childish fantasy,
with love blind and hands intertwined.
i left my shoes by the door
and i left that door unlocked.
you locked the door behind you
and didn't care enough to have knocked.
i built that house to have you in it,
and i wanted your shoes by the door.
but you don't bother with much of anything
and i can hear your steps against the floor.
then things get a little lonely
and you're the only one sleeping in the bed.
and i'm sitting on the hardwood because, well, actually, i forgot to imagine anything else in this godforsaken house except for that bed because i was too busy thinking of you.
anyways.
things got a little lonely and they hurt a little more.
then i made an effort to run from you,
but my shoes were still by the door.

Maybe the big picture isn't as pretty when you
look
up
close.
You can see how the colors have bled,
How the paint has chipped,
How the colors have faded.
Then, no one wants to look at the details.
They just want to see the pretty.
The distance-blurred scenery.
The seemingly sharp lines
And the seemingly vivid colors,
But the harsh reality is that nothing is pretty
When you look a little deeper
Or search a little harder
Because only then can you see
How messed up everything really is.

Somebody asked me if I would give
Something... everything to feel nothing
Suddenly I didn’t want to lie
So I said it was too late

But there comes a point where the truth
Bleeds into the lies and the lines
Become blurred with tears and the peace
Breaks away from the people that advocate it most

Answering that question changed the
Advocation of everything that mattered
As our surroundings grow dim against the brightness of
All of the things that need to be said

Whoever wants redemption needs to
Wage war against their emotions and
Want freedom enough to pull the chain on the light
We blindly rely on to lead us to the end

my prince has died trying to slay my dragons,
dragons that keep me up at night.
his head is at my feet and his sword is in my hand.
instead of living in a world in need of a savior,
i suppose it is time for me to save myself.

collar bones under gold chains.
white sheets and blood stains.
in your head is my favorite place to be.
blissfully drowning in your dead sea.

I've always thought that love was more like water than anything else.
It evaporates so fast, invisible to the untrained eye.
It changes with the moon, depends on the night.
It crashes so fast, eroding like the waves.
It stays unreliable, currents pulling hard.
It changes hands so easy, used by everyone.
It drowns you quick if you're not careful.
I guess that's it's sad that I'm afraid of the ocean.

i don't really want to get with you,
but all i need is something to get me through.

when it rains it doesn't just shower, you know,
just like pain's a requirement for power to grow.

we're breathless 'cause we're always chasing us.
running this town then burning it down.
smoke in our lungs and heat on our skin.
both of us the same.
both of us insane.

you're not the only one trying to be the only one

There's always beauty in the most insignificant thing.
The way your voice sometimes shakes when you sing.
The way the falling snow always collects on your lashes.
The way your face looks in the rain after lightning flashes.
I know this is cliche,
But you're most beautiful when you're not trying to be.

i am the king.
and i am surrounded by my queens.
my pawns are even important
(and you know just who you are).
but you,
you're just all wrong.
off the board and out your mind.
check mate.

i put in overtime
stayed all night
just to leave with you

i look at you and see myself
you feel like home
when the furniture's pushed back
we fill the space
slow dancing to silence
barefoot on the carpet

i want you to ruin my life
and even though i know it's wrong
i want you to make it all right

i wanna be rich when i'm older
because at least a maserati
is gonna ride when things
go down

i bit the bullet and threw up the shell.
your high is like heaven and your  love is like hell.

One day we’ll wake up and call each other.
Our voices will be monotone.
We won’t really have anything to talk about.
We’ll go through our photos.
Make ourselves see how good it was.
We’ll look at each other and see why we fit.
Determine the pros and cons of staying together.
It’s just not that good anymore.
It’ll all end that way.
Not because anything is dreadfully wrong.
We’ll just be bored.
Everything will go back to how it was before.
Except that we won’t be a couple.
Just two people who coexist.
I can talk to guys at bookstores and fall a little bit in love with a perfect stranger every day.
You can pick up girls at the baseball field that you always thought were better than me.
But we’ll always have us.
For now, let’s stay us and hold off until later.

my world is flipped upside down.
the blood is rushing to my head.
i can feel my face flushing.
you're next to me, right side up,
as if nothing even matters.
my stomach's hurting a little,
and i'm holding on for my life

our knees are over the back of the couch.
and my hair is brushing the ground.
and we're hanging here,
falling in love a little,
and laughing like absolute maniacs.

Sometimes it seems like my nightmares last longer than my sleep.
Then I realize that I never slept at all.

We climb power lines and play Titanic.
We go to parties, but only for the free food.
We sneak out to people watch at Walmart.
We're the whirlwind couple everyone dreams about.
We're what they don't show in movies.

and yet again, we're six feet under.
in too deep for the second time.
after all, what's the point in coming
back from the grave if it's where
you sleep at night?

bodies in black in white
eyes in technicolor
we were picture perfect
but everything good fades
in time because
the vivid fades away
and vintage is simply
old and worn and used

are you somebody's late night?
are you somebody's hold on tight?
are you the 3am, at my window,
throwing rocks because you've got no other place to go?
are you the where it starts?
are you the where it ends?
the getting back together just to fall apart again?

you will be poetry wrapped in skin.
they will melt under your faded gaze.
the spaces between your lungs will be explored.
they will fall in love with the darkness behind your lips.
they will live in the familiarity of your movements.
i will have stripped you of everything that made you the same.
you will be nothing like the person before, for now you are art.
you are simply the words penned onto your bones.
you are a masterpiece in human form.
you made me write, and i made you beautiful.
when we are done, you are perfect.
you are poetry wrapped in skin when i am done.

you can make me the bad guy,
but i'm the best girl you ever had.

April 14th, 2018:
we're caught up in his heart.
his belongs to me, but mine to someone else.
yours is only for him, but his is only mine.
i played along for long enough.
it's time for this to end.
it's time for everyone to know the truth.

the beautiful way in which you offer up the world to me
makes me want to take it simply so i can give it back to you.

you taught me what it felt like to lose myself.
but now i'm bound to lose you too.

I’m preoccupied.
I’m busy trying to wash the feeling of your skin off of mine with tears of my very own.
I’m busy trying not to cry every time I think about you crying over me.
I’m busy drowning my sorrows in a few words too many and now it’s over.
Once and for all.



Here is where I find that there is no artistic way to break your heart.

ex-friend. boyfriend.
they both mean the end.
your love was fake.
we were built to break.
i flirt with people but
you act like you're not cut.
come on, boy, you know you're hurt.
upset that i got up and left you in the dirt.
watch me do what you thought i'd never.
obviously you're not the one named clever.
feelings can't fade if they never start.
not sorry if i broke your heart.

i'd love you, but i just don't.

anymore.