What is beauty
Is it that perfect skin
What is beauty
But that perfect body
What is beauty
But happiness
But I give it the *******
The fact about beauty is that
It causes a walking skeleton of
Our daughter
The fact about beauty is that
Boys pump themselves
With steroids
The suffering that beauty brings
I see
Soon, I will have it the
*******

Midnight blue
The the blue that is magical
As it is like a wizard's robes
This I say it exposed the stars
And the moon as it is really its
To say that midnight blue
Is not really blue is not a facbut a superstitious
Thing to thing
The superstition mountains
A North americn treasure is
Indeed a haunted pleasure too
As you go up they poke holes
Into the midnight blue
Giving way to the eerie
An supernatural
Goings on in the superstition
Mountains
Be it cloudy or clear
See the bug dipper spill beer
As a ufo flies past you
This colour of blue is
Nothing more than a superstition
Or too
To think that the mountains are not haunted
You are living a fantasy

The sun shines
But though it
Hides from time to time
The sun is still shining
But like the stars and moon
It is hidden by the day light
At the height of its beauty
There dies the cherry blosson
To make way to the cherry
Am I making sense with this
As the leaves turn colour and
Fall
The beauty gives way to
The death of winter
Winter when everything dies
And renews its self
This I say that the nature
Is know different from man
One dies and another is born
And so on and so on
This is just the cycle of it all
Now Let's have a ball
In the fall are the stars
Come out of hiding to
Greer the sleeping and the dead
Lets break bread  and be on
Our merry way
This is the cycle of life
And death
The promise that is annoying
But the greatest promise of all
The continued cycle of it all.

I am a human being
Not a this, or that
My pronouns are she her
But I like to read more then the
Watching of movies
Though there are some good stories
On the big screen
Though I collect
I don't sell my stuff
Unless it ain't worth something
Does a this or that able to have
Hobbies ad passions in life
No because they get collected
That the selection of my life is
Pretty rare
Though I am bare in the shower
That is a rare thing too
Don't ask for (n)uses!

As I write these
The written words
Of the emotions
That I have while
Going through the motions
The ocean is so blue
The perfect blue
That I must say as I write these
Written worlds of the soul
To help promote the creation
Not only of peace but of
A better society
One where you don’t have to hurt
One where you don’t have to conform
The idea of the idea
The thought that was there in the first place
The leaves change colour at every fall
As I play basketball
The Big Dipper is out in full force
To be shine as bright as a diamond
A diamond in the sky!
Ci is yes in Spanish
See id to see with your eyes!
See that person wanting to help you!

When I was a little kid
I compared my self to Bart
Simpsons as well as Albert Einstein
What a fine thing to say
But this was the driving force of
My actions
And reactions
To things that went on with this world
A gifted  but misunderstood human
I have become
Now I find out
What I had was not a curse
But the gift

The idea of blogging
To let off some steam
To tell about your day
But this I will say
Is that I was blogging
Flogging my brain
For memoirs that I had
But this is said
Before I go to bed
Before I am dead
That this was a good day
The ups and downs
Recorded
The memoirs that I had in life that
Will not lie!
For I will not lie
About my day!
So as I write my thoughts and experiences
Down for the whole world
This I say is that each day
There is a message between
Experience and experience
But dont just look at me I am just saying
Like a suppersayin!

This is not just a poem
But a fact of life as I see
What I see. Hear what I hear
As well as experience the things in
Life that must a say that my relationship
With the creator that doesn't promote
Hate is based on nature and science
For this will last longer then some religions
Religions may come and they may go
But at least knowledge is here to stay for
Life; so value peace and not lies that
Man made
But let's see nature
Not just human nature
As that faults at the best of times
The fact that 2+2=4
You can't argue with that
So don't bother
Telling me otherwise,
This robbery of the facts stops
Here!

As the flower blooms.
The stillness in the air
Breaks with each petal
As it springs free in the spring
air
This is what I live for
             Focus  on the flower
            Breaking the silence of the
            Hate in the world
              Think  about being the flower
                Let your kindness shine through
For the world is Topsy turvy

I will not
F
   O
R
         G
I
        V
   E
The (s)hit I went through
Be it an ex boyfriend
Nor tormentor I
Feel you did worse then
My torturers did
For what you did was theft
Stealing  the truth from me
You lie you steal the truth from someone
100%

The lore of at all was the fact that
That you should have never meet me
For you were trauma bonding to me.
The fact that you.still are around
Is the very reminder of what
Went the (f)uck wrong in my life
36 years of things going wrong and you
Finally broke me.... something that the terrorists could even do to me
Why don't you just burn

I hate the way you make me feel
Like I am carrying 400lbs of extra weight
On my body
I hate hiw oppressive you turned
I hate the fact that you're birthday
Stole alot from me
And I cannot replace what was stolen
From me
I hate you for what you did
To make me have to lie to others about you
I hate the fact that your old school
I am angry for the simple fact that you are still here
When you shouldn't be even around me
All this aggression
All this hate and anger
Is baggage for me
And you don't know what you have don't yet...
Your lies lead me to lie
And I (f)ucking hate that

As i look up in the sky
A sky that is night
I see beautiful things to take
Pictures of these wonderful
Stars and constellations
As I do my phone filled up and
Soon I am stargazing with my phone
As I do so I find that life is easier
With the phone instead
If a telescope
When I look at my pictures
The beautiful spheres are
Captured forever
On Facebook and Instagram
What wonders the universe
Has to offer us.

Stargazing is an affirmation that our problems
Are as small as can be for the universe is bigger
And more mysterious then the future at head
To be honest stargazing is a testament of
The curiosity  of the human race and
The creative and destructive force of
Nature, be it on here or in the universe
This is my church
This my worship
Stargazing at night

I remember the author during
A boom reading mentioning
Not to edit yourself for other people
That is why I am one hundred percent
Me
With my tattoos and piercings
With my unique heritage
And my even more unique brain I see that I am
Unedited
By nature….
Don’t edit yourself for other self
For other people!
Just be you!
If they don’t like it
That’s on them

In the distance I hear sirens in the night
As the clock strikes 1830
I hear the eerie sounds that
Sound like air raid sirens and then a news real
And some buzzing
I dare not to look out the window as this monster
Can mimic human voices
Thus every day on the dot
At 1830 I hear these ghostly sirens in the dark distance of the night
With in the forest beyond the window
Is a terror that is beyond comprehension
Something that is beyond nighmarish
But more ghoulish
To be honest I (f)ucking hate the end of the day
For this will
Never more
Come and take me away,

The Big Dipper
An asterism of the constellation
Ursa major
Seven bright stars that
Have been there
For the best and worst
Of my life that I can remember
Over the age 3
That is why I want to take a picture
Of the group of stars
As it has guided me through
Everything
Not just telling me where north is
To me the Big Dipper
Is proof of god and his/her will!
Tell me it’s just stars
And I will say that it is more than that it’s art

This is an ode to freedom
To be free of you finally
Means I am free from the
Risk of an orange jumpsuit
For I am free from all the
Hate and anger
That was consuming me
Like Ebola!

I had to this
Or it would have been
My freedom at stake
As you are so controlling
You won’t even let me
Have any friends
To this I say
(U)p yours and
Good bye as I
Find you more toxic then
Sarin gas!
The pictures of you
Gaslighting me
You taking everything that isn’t my skin
I hope there is a place for you in the hell fire
Might I suggest not being in another relationship
Again!
(B)astard

One persons can be called crazy
For their observations on society
When other people conform to
It
At the risk of selling their souls

I don’t fear the supernatural
But I am fearful of things
Unnatural to me this concept
Of marriage is worse than the
Hellfire, the qazim I can
Not face this fear for it is the
Fear of lying, covering up
Who I really am the person
That god intended me to be
So I rather just be spiritual
And happy to be lying to
People that I should care about

As I drive along the country side
I see that everything when white
And then the days are short
It’s 2 pm….but the sun is setting
Soon it will be night and in that dismal
Sunset
I see a silhouette of farming  equipment
It remained me of my ancestral homeland
The vast and dismal wastes of siberia
And Central Asia!
For know I am in the land of the dead!

This I say on friendship
That the only down side to friendship
Is that when will the betray you
Is that when do the break your
Heart
For this is the springer show
Note the dope show as
There will be trauma
And drama

And so this person complains to
My video about how they hate
Mentally Ill people
I was floored as I saw my
Soul poor out of me
I was amusing my self with
Music
Actual music but then  comment
Remains
Causing me  to think am I
The only one with a brain
Lord only knows what crap the listen
To

As I walk to the mail box
In the late evening I see
That it’s the  twilight
hour!  I look up to
See the new moon
But only to see that
It was eclipsed  
How do you like those
Apples

As the vampires dance in the night

They sing a tune and that tune

Rock lobster, rock lobster

The chant until the night is done

And the belly’s full of blood

Rock lobster, motion of the oceans

He was in a Jamin a giant clam

They sing hoping to attract more

And fresher meat!

Boooooooooooooooooooo!

This is a memoir

Of how my thoughts

Are so film noir

These thoughts both

Beautiful and horrific

The idea of being human

Is to overcome it all in the end

Both the beautiful and the horrific

Think about that

28 years old
I tried modeling by accident
Thought it would be good
But it was more food for
Thought
As the poses good more ****
The consequences of those poses
We’re too
Where did
                  Your brain
                                     Go to?

The most brave thing
You must do in the day
Is to wake up and face it!

As I stray from my relatives
I see that there is a burning
Bush, a bush that is on fire
It mysteriously burned
Curious I learn that it
Was  a divine fire as  
This bush also talked
It told my things
That it was only telling me
As it burned it talked I tried to get my phone but
It instructed me to put it away
It tells me how to help the world as
The world was falling apart
As a starseed I was give the gift
To lift humanity up form it’s loss times
Is this the same burning bush as Moses

To say this I must say proudly
I am who I am and I will be
A human being as well as
A starseed
For that Is what I am
I am who I am I say
Take it or leave it
But to sat thru I must say Proudly
I am a good person through and through
Isn’t that what matters

I am tired of feeling with this
You are ruining my life
Why can you go to hell
It would be really swell
But then I have deal with jackassory
I am not accessory
Why can you move
The (f)uck on
But your fixated
Thinking that I will comeback
Take a (f)ucking pill
Or chill
In the hell fire
For I have no room
For your tomfoolery
The next time you do this
I shall report
(A)sshole

I really can't stay
Baby, it's cold outside
I've got to go on
Baby, it's cold outside
This  was shure hell
Hoping that you'd drop a message
So, very nice
I'll hold your heart, it's just like ice

My mother will start to worry
Beautiful, what's your hurry?
My father will be pacing the floor
Listen to that heart beat
So, really I'd better worry
Beautiful, please don't hurry
But maybe just a hald a drink more
I'll put some records on while I pour

The neighbors might think
Buts, it's bad out there
Say, what's in this drink?
No cabs to be had out there
I wish I knew how
Your eyes are like starlight now
To break this spell

I'll take your hat, your hair looks like hell

I ought to say, "No, no, no sir"
Mind if I move in closer?
At least I'm gonna say that I tried
What's the sense in hurting my pride?
I really can't stay
Baby, don't hold out
Baby, it's cold outside

Ugh, you're very pushy, you know?
I'd like to think of it as opportunistic

I simply must go
Baby, it's cold outside
The answer is, "No"
But, baby, it's cold outside
The welcome has been
How lucky that you dropped in
So nice and warm
Look out the window at that storm

My sister will be suspicious
Gosh, your lips look delicious
My brother will be there at the door
Waves upon a tropical shore
My maiden aunt's mind is vicious
Gosh, your lips are delicious
But maybe just cigarette more
Never such a blizzard before

I've got to get home
Baby, you'll freeze out there
Say, lend me your comb?
It's up to your knees out there
You've really been grand
I thrill when I touch your hand
But don't you see?
How can you do this thing to me?

There's bound to be talk tomorrow
Think of my life-long sorrow
At least there will be plenty implied
If you got pneumonia and died
I really can't stay
Get over that hold out
Baby, it's cold
Baby, it's cold outside

Okay, fine, just another drink
That took a lot of convincing

Snow falling down
It bring beautiful
Peace to the world
Blanketing ti to  make
It sparkle and joyous

A frozen river
Still and glass like showing
Nature's reflection

I am multi coloured
As in multiethnic
For I am arab,
Chechen, Roma,
And central Asian
Himalayan and Uighur
But that has been me since
I always all over the ****
      M
                       A
  P
That is my DNA
Hence I am multicoloured

When I think of the book box
I think if not just material
Items.  But things that give you
Joy and happiness as well as
Intelligence.    To be honest
When I crack open the fruits of
This box!  I see that I am smiling
As I am learning
And being happy
Visit one of these box’s one day
I swear you won’t regret it

I am a misfit since age 14
I used to have friends before then
But they all turned out to be fake
I was a misfit since age 14
But that don’t mean broken
Crayons can not colour
Of  I am a misfit….
Not dead
I have  been a misfit age 14
Being misunderstood  for
Everything and everything
But this I will say now I am
36 and I am no longer a
Misfit
I am a someone who matters
With I fit in or not

There are memories that I have
Some I like some I would rather
Forget.  But the ones I want to remember
That make me. ….me !  Are the a
T
  A
       M
            O
                G
                    O
                        T
                           C
                               H
                                    I
Fall leaves as my niece and nephew played in them
The sight of a jack o lantern
These are the memories that made me
This is my brain finger print of the past
Now
O
      N
To the future

I am at the zenith
Of my
A
    N
        G
           E
              R


I am at the zenith
Of my
E
    M
          O
               T
                   I
                       O
                            N
                                 S

And why
                       D
                     O
                    P
                  E
                O
             P
           L
        E
Act like unsubs

Dear Netflix
(F)uck you

As I tried to sleep
The full moon is saying
Never more
Quoth the moon
As I have a nightmare
…..nevermore
When I have joyous thoughts
At night
Quoth the moon
….. Nevermore
When I sleep a stressful day away
Quoth the moon
……Nevermore!!!

The memories I had of my father are
The following as I look at the night sky
And the Big Dipper, I remember my father
Teaching me about the constellations,
Planets and other things in the night sky
As I read a book I remember him
Teaching me  to read though Stephen King’s
The stand, and goosebumps
As I watch tv or a movie
I remember him teaching me
About the appreciation of the
Performing arts
This are lessons I will never forget
As he is in the spirit world!
Thank you Peter Melanson

Hello Elena how are you doing
I must say that those idiots got to you
As you are not FBI as I hoped to be
But instead an artist and writer
Bold choice!  This right now is the pits for
Me.   School they don’t accept me and they
Make me look crazy! Instead of someone
Who wants to make a difference.   Can you try
To be a polygraph examiner, but I you want to
Be creative I understand as that the bullying is intense.
You say it will get better, I hope it will
I am writing this as I am crying my self to sleep
I believe it will get worse before it gets if any better
So many psychopaths that I have to deal with
It is sai to be honest.   Will I ever have friends
Or will I disappear!    I hope I don’t, please learn
From me!

Me as a fourteen y/o

As I see my self as a fourteen year old
I see that she was week of heart beaten
Like a dogs as I see her try to fight back
Not just for her dignity but also her dream
She finds her self getting into trouble
Her dreams crushed by bullying
As I try to talk to my younger self
I will have to tell them that it will get
Worse before it even gets better
It brakes my heart but then
I say it will get better sooner
Then later…..but she does not believe
Me but I can not push her to believe
She will have to experience the goodness at
Some point in life

This you need to know
That shamanism
That Wiccan
And pagan are the idea of natural
Healing
The 3 great nature based
Religions are not about
The devil but instead about
Curing and healing the sick
Helping people through nature
And spirituality but it is
Not about demons nor the devil
Just thought you should know!

Yes, shamanism involves the belief that a shaman's soul multiplies after death, with each disembodied spirit carrying the shaman's soul image:
After death: When a shaman dies, their personal spirits disperse back into the forest and on the mountaintops.
Soul multiplicity: Each disembodied spirit becomes a carrier of the shaman's soul image.
Shamanism is a religious practice that's often associated with Indigenous and tribal societies. Shamans are believed to have a connection to the otherworld and the power to: heal the sick, communicate with spirits, and escort souls of the dead to the afterlife.
Shamans are also believed to have the ability to: foretell the future, advise on the whereabouts of game animals, predict impending catastrophes, and control the forces of nature.

I never really noticed you for the simple fact that
That men grab at me all the time, when you do I
Thought you were one of them but…..I felt the
Love in your touch….. turn around and see you with your
Darkly and dangerous good looks  I want ed to talk to you
But I had to finish my dance after that I talked to you … you
Kiss me softly as well as well as your touch I still don’t know
Much about you.   But yet I loved  you being with me
Or love I thought was going to last that was until
You said that we could not I insisted to be with you
That drove you insane, the idea of being with me
Instead of you job
It hurt more than you strangling me
Why this betrayal of me
As I stilled loved you to the last breath

The first time we kissed
My heart awas a wash with
Adrenaline and love something I did
Not understand for my first 23 years
On this planet.  As you caressed me
All over my body I want to be with
You and only you.  But you were
Married to you job.  My love
For you was forbidden, how I
Wanted with you  for my self
But can I …..

I thought I found love but
Only found my self  dead
On a hotel bed in a ******
Hotel room,
Murderer was the
One who I thought loved
Then I wake up in my own bed room
It’s 2024 and I am safe I think I am
But I am not sure
Memories of a past reincarnation